They only fight against each other if the parent hasn’t set the boundaries at a young age. Given your example, I would not let the teen wear the tight shorts regardless of her feeling “awkward” without them. I too thank God that my Children never went through anything like this. However, I also recognize that a large reason why they never did is because they learned what the boundaries were long before they became teens. Thus, there was never an issue.
I think that at the end of the day we lead by example as well as by direction. If a child doesn’t come out of his/her room wearing appropriate attire for Mass, they should be sent back to their room to try again. But again… if these boundaries are set when they are young, the odds are that this will be a non-issue.
This is a response to post #5.
IMO, this post is so incredibly off-base.
There are many wonderful parents who set boundaries when children are young and do absolutely EVERYTHING right as a parent.
But the kids rebel when they get to be teenagers.
If this didn’t happen to you, it’s not because of your great parenting. It’s because God chose to allow your children to remain well-behaved even as teenagers.
Other families aren’t so lucky. God allows the teenagers to express their rebellion, and it tears the family apart. And when people say, “If only you had set boundaries when they were little, this wouldn’t be happening to your kids right now”–well, that is just so offensive and hurtful and cruel.
Do you also tell people suffering from lung cancer–“See, you should have given up smoking!” Talk about Job’s comforters!
IMO, we as fellow Christians need to remember the promises that we made when the child was baptized, and HELP families who have rebellious teenagers who insist on wearing revealing or otherwise offensive clothing to Mass.
These families are hurting so badly that it is amazing that they can still drag themselves to Mass. We ought to support them in every way that we can, knowing that but for the grace of God go we. They need us more than ever during a time of a rebellious teenager or young person.
**Kicking their kids out or telling them that they can’t come into the building isn’t going to help these hurting families, and this approach may hurt them so badly that they will never come back to church. ** And then their souls will be on OUR heads and we will be accountable.
It is my personal opinion, based on Scripture, that the only person other than Father who has the right to critique a female’s clothing choices is another woman.
If a man other than my husband ever said anything critical to me or my daughters about their clothing choices, I would be furious. It is unseemly and suggestive.
I’m very serious about this. There is a sexual aspect to a man criticizing a woman’s clothing. I think a man should never go there.
Godly and mature women should take it upon themselves to befriend younger women and train them in righteousness and modesty, as St. Paul admonishes. This process will take a long time. It’s not something that a woman can do after Mass in the lobby. She has to slowly earn the trust and friendship of the younger woman and then she will be able to bring up the issue of modest dress and appearance and help the young woman to choose wisely when dressing for Mass.
I know that some of you want the problem solved RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!! But that’s not the way it works, just like rebellious teenagers don’t suddenly stop rebelling. It takes time and patience and lots of love.
If men (or women) are offended or aroused by an immodestly-dressed woman in Mass, they should remove themselves from the temptation by walking away from it, going to the other side of the church building, or even leaving the Mass and returing at a “safer” time when the tempting woman is not around.
