Should we be able to become CLOSE friends with the non Christ-centered?

[Lazerlike42]

Why would a person NOT want to have non-Christ-centered friends? That does not make sense to me. It seems elitist to me not to invite them into one’s life.

Peary, this is again nothing at all similar to anything I’ve said.

I have said that to have a close friendship with someone who does not have a deep relationship with Christ seems not to be something that is possible for one who does. Having a friendship, or inviting people into one’s life, is entirey different from developing a close friendship with someone, which is not something anyone ever tries to do with anyone. It just happens. My thoughts are that it would be very difficult to end up “just happening” between two people of such radically differnet core values.

I’ll put up an in depth post soon to explain my point more clearly, and to try to answer some of the gross misunderstandings many people have had.

 

[Lazerlike42]

I don’t think it’s my place to judge how close or not a person might be with Christ. Their relationships with Him are their business, and His. Not mine.

What’s more, someone who claims their life is Christ-centered, and goes around talking all the time about how much they pray or attend Mass or watch ETWN or whatever might be all talk, and not be any closer to Christ than the next person. Hearing about it from someone doesn’t make it true, so I don’t think there’s any way to really know the depth of a person’s devotion. There’s only One who can know that.

I have close friends of every creed. To me, they are my brothers and sisters, and I love them, like they love me. We’re all imperfect, and as far as centering Christ in our loves, I think we’ve all got a long way to go. Why make things more difficult or more prejudiced? Absolutely no point.

Of course this may be crossing a line, do forgive me, but-- the idea of sizing up a potential aquaintence by how devoted they appear to be really creeps me out. To me it just calls to mind the Nazis measuring a person’s Aryan blood to try to determine if they were ‘acceptable’ either. Just my :twocents:

I haven’t said anything about sizing up people and I have stated on at least 20 occasion by now that I believe in and personally practice talking to people of any and all faiths or depths of devotion, yet I am still accused of holding this abominable belief that people ought to steer clear of those not meeting some pedigree.

I am talking about the development of a close friendship between two people, something which does not occur by manner of choice, but over time, gradually, and of its own accord. Nobody looks at a person and says, “I am going to try to become a best friend of his.” It is merely something that happens. I will attempt to explain more in my next post, and I would ask anyone who wishes to say anything further to wait until I have put it up, because it will be very detailed.

 

[peary]

Peary, this is again nothing at all similar to anything I’ve said.

I have said that to have a close friendship with someone who does not have a deep relationship with Christ seems not to be something that is possible for one who does. Having a friendship, or inviting people into one’s life, is entirey different from developing a close friendship with someone, which is not something anyone ever tries to do with anyone. It just happens. My thoughts are that it would be very difficult to end up “just happening” between two people of such radically differnet core values.

I’ll put up an in depth post soon to explain my point more clearly, and to try to answer some of the gross misunderstandings many people have had.

I sure hope so…I don’t get it yet. :banghead:

 

[elts1956]

I sure hope so…I don’t get it yet. :banghead:

Neither do I?

 

[Tracy10]

If the person puts out good fruit, I don’t poke my nose into what they believe in or don’t. It’s my feeling that by works alone will each of us be judged, and that a person who spends most of his time deciding whether or not others will go to hell will be judged just as harshly…
e.g. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those…
God alone will judge. My philosophy is that if people pick their friends by their “kind and unselfish” natures, they can’t go wrong.

 

[Lazerlike42]

I began this thread as the result of a criticism that was made of me, namely that I do not have any close male friends. I have long recognized this as resulting from the fact that I do not have any male friends whom are spiritual, and therefore those friendships which I am involved in have not developed beyond simple friendships into close ones. When I explained this to one spiritual person of whom I am blssed enough to have made an aquaintance, I was told that spirituality is not a requirement for a close friendship. Thus, I started this thread and poll and have been astonished by the things that I have been told. Consequently, I have spent a great deal of time thinking about this issue and would like to try to articulate more clearly exactly what I believe.

To begin to grasp my meaning, it is first necessary to reflect on the nature and meaning of friendship. Now normally, I am no large fan of looking to the dictionary for definitions of such transcendant things like friendship, but in this case, I believe that the standard Merriam-Webster definition is somewhat good and useful. According to this definition, a friend is someone whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

Let us think about these three things for a moment. The first is certainly rather obvious: it is of course necessary that one know a person in order to be his friend. The second of these aspects of friendship which are here under consideration is that one likes a friend. This is also somewhat obvious, but perhaps deceptively so, as I will comment on later. For now, suffice it to say that I do not believe anyone has ever considered as a friend one whom he does not like.

Trust, I believe, is where the rubber really hits the road. Let’s return for a moment to liking a person: there are many people whom we like, but whom we do not consider to be our friends. It is certainly possible that man like another and yet fail to be his friend. I can, with little effort, recall countless people in my life with whom I am not in a friendship and yet whom I simeltaneously like. I believe anyone following along with me can as well. There are many reasons for this. Sometimes, we have met a person only once and not had the time to develop a friendship. Sometimes, a person we like may not like us in return, and so no friendship develops. Sometimes, the different requirements of two people’s lives prevent them from interacting enough to become friends. There are many other possibilities.

However, there is one common thread that runs through each of these situations: the would-be friend is someone that is known and liked, and yet they would not be called a friend. These two qualities, then, do not a friendship make. Something is lacking: trust. One does not trust the person he has met only once. One does not trust the person who does not like him in return. One does not trust a person whom he interacts with for only 5 minutes at a time. This does not imply that the individual is not trustworthy, of course, but merely that that trust has not been established.

It is rather difficult to explain precisely why trust matters so much, yet it is obvious to each of our experiences that it does. Several years ago, I had the pleasure of visiting an amusement park with a friend’s friend named Vlad. I really liked him quite a bit. However, he is not my friend. The fact that I have not spoken with him in three years is not the reason, for there are some with whom I have not spoken for even longer periods of time whom are yet my friends. I believe we each have experience of this kind. It is difficult to explain why, but the fact that I was unable to spend enough time to develop any sort of trust of Vlad is the reason that he is not considered my friend. Please do not misunderstand me on this point: the lack of trust I refer to is one that is not a matter of choice, but of circumstance. If one chooses not to allow a trust to develop, this is another factor which is beyond the scope of this reflection.

And so these three factors truly do define - in a basic sense to be sure - friendship. When I think of my friends, they are all people whom I know, like and trust. When I consider all of the people in the world whom are not my friends, in each case at least one of these three qualities is lacking, or perhaps one other which has not been addressed: that an individual whom I know, like, and trust does not like or trust me.

However, friendship is not merely two dimensional, but three dimensional, to put it one way: some friends are closer than others. The difference here would obviously be of degree. One who is a closer friend than another is one whom is either liked more or trusted more than the other.

Continued…

 

[Lazerlike42]

Continued from #66…

To understand this, we have to consider what it means to like a person. Now ideally, we should like everybody, in one sense: we ought to view them as persons made in the Image of God, possessing great dignity and deserving great love. Yet we are not called to be friends with everybody. Indeed, Thomas Aquinas even teaches that those closest to us on earth will continue to be closer to us in Heaven; we will still hold a particular affection in Heaven for our friends that we do not hold for others, though we will love souls with whom we share the beatific vision. So then there is also a sense in which we will never like everybody. What is this sense? In truth, it is likely rather complex, but at least some parts of it are important for consideration here.

One that I want to focus on is that we enjoy the company of some more than others. There are many reasons for this, including the sharing of common interests and a more intangible personal chemistry. This is one of the things that may make one friend closer than another: a man may enjoy his company more than the other’s. There is nothing wrong with this, and it does not necessarily mean anything negative about the lesser liked friend, for another may enjoy *his *company more than the first’s due to personal chemistry, common interestes, and so forth.

Of course, one may also have more trust for one friend than another. Herein lies a very interesting thought to consider: what if a man likes one friend more than another, but trusts him less, and consequently liking the other friend less but trusting him more? Which friend is closer? I do not intend to present this as a scientific question with a precise answer. Rather, I intend to bring it forth to serve as food for thought as we move forward.

Now, we have considered just what a friend is, and the concept of being better friends with some than with others. There is one more thing to consider: close friendships. As one moves up the chain of friends from the most “distant” friend to the closest, what exactly constitutes what we would consider a close friend? Is it simply the friend whom is closest, or is there something more to it? I would suggest that it is not merely a matter of which friend is closest.

A man may have many friends, one of whom is the closest, and yet not have any close friends. I personally have several friends, from the least close to the closest, but I do not know if I believe I have anyone I would consider to be a close friend. A close friend, I believe, is one whom a person very greatly enjoys the company of, but more importantly feels comfortable with and free to share his deepest joys, sorrows, fears, feelings, thoughts, and aspirations: those elements which most constitute his very identity and being as a human person.

And so one may find that in his group of friends, the closest of them is not someone with whom he is either comfortable, in regards to his own feelings, or free accoding to the willingness of the friend himself, to share these things. With most of our friends, we do not feel comfortable sharing our deepest joys, sorrows, fears, feelings, thoughts, and aspirations, and many of our friends may not be willing to share their own or to allow us to share ours. This is almost entirely a factor of trust. There must be a very deep reciprocal trust present in order for two people to be close friends in this way.

This trust is not something that one chooses to have, but which develops over time between two friends who are in some way open enough to one another and compatible enough for it to develop. As time goes on, two people who like and trust one another spend time together and grow to trust one another more and more. Gradually, they begin to open up, sharing joys, sorrows, fears, and so forth with one another. It begins with one person feeling free to say that he had a bad day at work. As time goes on, one may share a minor family squabble, and so on. With each experience, trust increases. Of course, I do not want to paint these sorts of relationships and their development into a box here. I have had persons with whom I have shared my most inner feelings almost the first day I met them. I am merely trying to illustrate the general concept: trust develops over time, and so as trust approaches that level where the deepest joys and sorrows and so forth of a person are free to be shared, two people become what I call close friends.

If that trust does not develop, then a close friendship does not come into being. This is not by choice, but by the circumstance that trust has not developed significantly.

And here is precisely where I am coming from. For me, my deepest and more inner joys, sorrows, my deepest aspirations and fears, all that is at the core of my being, is about Christ. I would love that everyone know of it, and I am willing more than anything to share it. I will tell many people the most private of my thoughts or feelings the moment I meet him or her - I do not hold back. I love Christ, and I desire that all love Him, and for His sake I will share all of myself so far as His Grace provides and so far as my will takes advantage of that Grace.

Yet with those who are not in some significant way spiritual, this sharing is not possible because the trust is lacking. It has not developed, for I have not been able to spend enough time with any of these people for it to. This is because I flee from evil, and I cling to the sacred. I do not mean that I flee from these persons, but from what they at times do. It does not mean that I do not have time for them, but that I must give much of my time to spiritual matters. “I must be about my Father’s business.”

continued…

 

[Lazerlike42]

continued from #67…

I want to be clear what I am saying here: I’m not saying I ignore the unspiritual, I am stating the simple fact that I spend a lot of time doing spiritual things, and they do not, and so we don’t end up spending a lot of time together. They don’t want to spend time doing things that I do, even if I do sometimes do what they will. I will go to the movies with my friends, provided that the film is morally acceptable of course, but they will not pray Evening Prayer with me, or attend Mass. I can take time to spend with them, but at the same time, after the time spent at work, and the time I give to spiritual things - which is not nearly enough, by the way (I am not going overboard, in other words) - there just isn’t always that much time to go see a movie or anything like that. One friend of mine is in the same situation. He sees almost no friends of his because he works a full time job during the day and a part time job every evening. His part time job is roughly equivalent to my faith: I have to go to work, and I have to pray, and sometimes there just isn’t time left for anything else. At times I simply surrender sleep in order to socialize with people.

Trust has also not developed because we are really on two very different pages. I am reminded of a passage from the Gospel of John:

“Now when he was in Jerusalem at the Passover feast, many believed in his name when they saw the signs which he did; but Jesus did not trust himself to them, because he knew all men and needed no one to bear witness of man; for he himself knew what was in man.”

Jesus loved all people, and was friends with many, yet he did not trust them, per se. When He suffered in the garden, He must have felt so very alone, for He, in the very act of giving over His entire self to God to the point of death, had nobody to share this with. He tried to tell the apostles many times, but they did not understand. He loved them, and He was their friend, and yet there was something so very deep inside of Him that they didn’t understand… that no matter how He tried to explain it to them, or how He tried to show them, they just didn’t understand it, and they couldn’t receive it. He gave to them, and continued to share as much as He could, but He also felt lonely, I am sure.

That’s how I feel, and I can’t imagine how someone who has Christ so central to His very being would ever be able to develop a close friendship with an unspiritual person, because of the practical reasons I mentioned above and the more emotional ones I have mentioned here. How does one who spends much of his free time in spiritual exercises spend enough time with people to get to be close with them? I don’t view this as being about spirituality at all: it is to me the same as my friend who spends much of his free time at a second job: there just isn’t time for him to really get close to anyone.

And emotionally, how does one feel… safe, and comfortable revealing the most sensative, vulnerable parts of himself to a person who does not understand it? Again, to take the spiritual out of it so as to help make my point clearer, imagine a woman grieving the loss of a mother living in a situation with no friends who had ever experienced loss… there would be a certain very real isolation that would not be a matter of personal choice… the poor woman wouldn’t be able to tell anyone who would understand what she was experiencing, and so she may or would certainly feel a certain distance from everyone.

Now in fact I feel the same way about the non-Spiritual person. If for one person Christ is so important, and so real, that not even a garbage bag can be seen without thinking of Him, then I just can’t fathom the non-Spiritual person feeling like they are at all understood by this person. Certainly the Holy Spirit can use this to draw that person to Christ. That’s a fact. The question is until that ends up happening - until that working of God is made manifest in that person’s life - are they going to feel comfortable… to feel understood… to feel close to that Christ-centered person? I don’t know… I don’t think so. If I’m wrong, I am… but… if half the people in this world don’t even feel close to people with different natural joys, natural sorrows, etc., then I just can’t see someone being close to one with sorrows and joys as that are literally infinitely different and in the realm of the supernatural.

continued…

 

[Lazerlike42]

continued from #68…

I’m not talking about giving: I can give - or I hope I can keep up the stregnth - to give and give and give to others, and to love them, and to share with them, and to try to bring Christ to them, and to befriend them and spend time with them to the best of my ability. All that is possible, for me or for anyone. Yet I do not see how it is possible to grow close to someone without the time spent around them for trust to blossom, and without the similar experience to understand the deepest thoughts, joys, sorrows… etc., whether that person is spiritual and oneself not, or vice versa.

I’m also not talking about judging people’s spirituality, or their relationship with God, or judging how advanced they are spiritually. When I said those things, I was talking about what those differences would in and of themselves lead to, not making decisions based on evaluating them. I am talking about having two friends, one spiritual and another not, and the natural way their friendship will progress: the non-Christ centered person declining to go to Mass, or pray the Rosary, or visit a shrine with the spiritual one, and so that time that could lead to more closeness not happening. I am talking about a spiritual person telling about some experience he is going through with God, some spiritual dryness, perhaps, and the non-spiritual person failing to understand, or the spiritual person ending up feeling more alone, as though his friends don’t understand something that is so important to him and wishing he had someone to share it with. I don’t see how friendships can become close when those sorts of things happen - nobody has to make any judgments for these things to keep them from becoming close.

I hope this makes more sense.

Peace and God bless

 

[elts1956]

continued from #68…

I’m not talking about giving: I can give - or I hope I can keep up the stregnth - to give and give and give to others, and to love them, and to share with them, and to try to bring Christ to them, and to befriend them and spend time with them to the best of my ability. All that is possible, for me or for anyone. Yet I do not see how it is possible to grow close to someone without the time spent around them for trust to blossom, and without the similar experience to understand the deepest thoughts, joys, sorrows… etc., whether that person is spiritual and oneself not, or vice versa.

I’m also not talking about judging people’s spirituality, or their relationship with God, or judging how advanced they are spiritually. When I said those things, I was talking about what those differences would in and of themselves lead to, not making decisions based on evaluating them. I am talking about having two friends, one spiritual and another not, and the natural way their friendship will progress: the non-Christ centered person declining to go to Mass, or pray the Rosary, or visit a shrine with the spiritual one, and so that time that could lead to more closeness not happening. I am talking about a spiritual person telling about some experience he is going through with God, some spiritual dryness, perhaps, and the non-spiritual person failing to understand, or the spiritual person ending up feeling more alone, as though his friends don’t understand something that is so important to him and wishing he had someone to share it with. I don’t see how friendships can become close when those sorts of things happen - nobody has to make any judgments for these things to keep them from becoming close.

I hope this makes more sense.

Peace and God bless

Well I think you finally hit the nail on the head when you mentioned the virtue of trust If trust is in the relationship whether both parties are Christ centered, or not, if you cannot trust you will definitely not LIKE. That is from my perspective.

 

[peary]

TRUST is the cornerstone of any relationship, Christ-centered or not. If that is lacking, there is no relationship, or the relationship will be dysfunctional.

 

[blessedtoo]

If your definition of being “Christ-centered” is actually creating a deterrent to forming deep, intimate relationships, then perhaps you need to re-think your definition.

Some folks use their devotions to “hide” from interacting with the world. Some folks believe that thinking about God, talking about God, spending hours every day in prayer or at Church, is a true sign of advanced spirituality. Perhaps they are right. But my understanding is that we have been clearly commanded to love others as well.

I always get a kick when folks compare Christ’s actions to our own. You used the relationship of Christ to St. John as an analogy of a close, intimate friendship. I would say a more apt comparison would be St. John to the other Apostles. Humans to humans. But if you want to use Christ’s example, let’s look at how much time He did spend with His peeps. Yes, He took time for prayer, but the Gospel’s clearly show that most of His ministry was devoted to actually BEING with others.

In short, you can find commonality with ANYONE God chooses to put in your life. Start from the premise that they, as well as you, are sinners. I understand that at your age, you might romanticize the idea of a “best friend”, but as you get older you will realize that this relationship can take many forms and look different in each individual life.

And trust? The only one you need to trust is God. Everyone else will disappoint. It’s the human condition.

 

[blessedtoo]

One more thing. Every human being is a child of God’s - not just made in His image - but His child, your brother or sister. They may not know it, but YOU do. This puts the greater moral responsibility on your shoulders. One does not need to talk about Christ to be Christ-like. God may have already put people into your life who NEED you to represent Christ for them. If you are “spiritually advanced”, then it should not about what you need or what a best friend can do for or with you. Taking Christ out of the Church, out of the head, and into the world is the way we bring Him to those who have yet to meet Him.

 

[elts1956]

If your definition of being “Christ-centered” is actually creating a deterrent to forming deep, intimate relationships, then perhaps you need to re-think your definition.

Some folks use their devotions to “hide” from interacting with the world. Some folks believe that thinking about God, talking about God, spending hours every day in prayer or at Church, is a true sign of advanced spirituality. Perhaps they are right. But my understanding is that we have been clearly commanded to love others as well.

I always get a kick when folks compare Christ’s actions to our own. You used the relationship of Christ to St. John as an analogy of a close, intimate friendship. I would say a more apt comparison would be St. John to the other Apostles. Humans to humans. But if you want to use Christ’s example, let’s look at how much time He did spend with His peeps. Yes, He took time for prayer, but the Gospel’s clearly show that most of His ministry was devoted to actually BEING with others.

In short, you can find commonality with ANYONE God chooses to put in your life. Start from the premise that they, as well as you, are sinners. I understand that at your age, you might romanticize the idea of a “best friend”, but as you get older you will realize that this relationship can take many forms and look different in each individual life.

And trust? The only one you need to trust is God. Everyone else will disappoint. It’s the human condition.

Indeed, trust in God. But also allow yourself to be vulnerable and open to other human beings. I have found that my friends disappoint me because of my own expectations of them. If you have no expectations, or conditions as to how they are going to act/react, if you accept them with their frailties as well as your own, the disappointments will be few and far in between.

As we mature in relationships we realize who we can trust and who we cannot. Of course there are hurts and misunderstandings along the way, That is the human condition.

 

[Joysong]

Lazerlike:

I simply question whether I can form a close and intimate friendship with them. I know I can love them - I do! - and I know I can be friends with them - I do!

I believe the matter is best solved by listening to how God is calling each of us. Many saints are cloistered in monasteries, such as Therese of Lisieux, yet due to her immense desire to be a missionary with her prayers and sacrifices, she was co-named with St. Francis Xavier as Patroness of Missionaries. Others, like the latter saint, have a call to take God’s word out into the world and evangelize. God is the Author of everything we do for Him, and issues the call as He wills, as to how we serve Him.

I chose my scripture reading this week from the epistle of 2 Tim., and was reminded of my earlier inspiration [Ch. 2:4], “No one serving as God’s soldier entangles himself in worldly affairs, that he may please him whose approval he has secured.” This spoke to me many years ago about my particular walk, and I felt certain that God wanted me to limit my exterior social contacts so that a contemplative vocation might be fostered and preserved.

If anyone has read St. Teresa of Avila’s Life, you may remember that she blamed her visits to the parlor for her fall from a high degree of spiritual graces from God. Yet what were these visits, but conversations about God, initially? As idle talk goes, eventually these turned to things of the world, and it became a distraction to her that prevented her deep recollection in prayer.

What I see in you, Lazer, is the gift of recollection that has progressed to 24/7, which does indeed speak to me of advanced prayer and deep devotion. It is not pride to acknowledge this, for we see in Galations that St. Paul also “boasted in the Lord.” If we know by faith that all our good comes from God and give Him the glory, it is humility to speak the truth. Yes, I would think that an average 24-year old peer is not going to be at your spiritual level.

And I agree that you need to consider that, and be wary about whom you spend your time with, so as not to fall prey to idle talk and worldly distractions. If God calls you to evangelize your friends, you need to be very strong spiritually before venturing forth, and the call must be HIS. If it is, He will bless your friendships, but if it is not, the devil can use this “lesser good” to bring you into the situation that St. Teresa of Avila experienced.

May God enlighten you! The very fact that you posed this question tells me that God is already speaking in your heart, or you would not be seeking our advice.

 

[InLight247]

Lazerlike:

I just opened your thread first time today.
While I took time to read many responses as well as your own multiple explanations, I did not read every single one of them.

But I think I know where you come from. You did not ask if one should be friends, or close friends with non Christ-centered people.You are actually asking if one should be able to do so. I know you do love people and you want to evangelize to them. It is not possible for someone who loves Christ so much has no desire to share Him with others. No question there.

The question is: “Is it possible to form intimate friendship with a non Christ-centered person?”

After my relationship with the Lord became so close, after I have been so absorbed into Him, social gathering with people who chat anything but Christ became so boring to me. When invited by old family friends, I still attend the party. I spend time with them and trying to enjoy the togetherness, but that’s it. I do not feel any intimacy for sure, and I may do without such occasion.

Even with a religious group, we get together to discuss Bible and share life experience in the Lord, if we are not in the same depth, it is still not easy. I can only share my personal experience to certain degree. Some recollection and contemplation just won’t be understood. Actually, for effectively evangelizing to the faithful, some inner experience is better not shared lest I should be viewed as a weirdo and be alienated.

It is hard to have an intimate friend, period. The spiritual intimacy is especially hard to find. So, my answer is no.

 

[elts1956]

Again, I really am not certain if folks understand the difference between loving someone and being their close friend. Just because I am not a close friend to someone, that doesn’t mean I do not love them or that I do not show them love. It means that I’m not their close friend, just like Jesus was not a close friend of any of the folks He healed, but He still loved them. Jesus loved everyone, but was close friends with John the Apostle. Francis of Assisi loved everyone, but was close friends with a few of the original brothers of the Friars Minor. Does this make sense?

I might happen to be friends with someone who only shares sports with me as a common interest, but if that is the only common interest, they are probably not going to be a close friend. If Christ is so important to me that I want Him in every last second of my life, I just don’t see how it ends up happening that somebody who does not care much about Him and I are simply going to end up spending enough time around one another to develop a close friendship. How does a guy who spends every waking moment watching sports, or anything else, end up spending enough time around a guy who doesn’t to develop something more than a casual friendship?

Peace and God bless

Hello Lazerlike. If you are talking “intensity” in a close relationship, as I said before, although it may not have been clear and in these words, all relationships are unequal in intensity of love no matter what kind it is. In any close friendship there is usually a “point” of contact where two minds and hearts meet. This may not be forever, it will not be equal in intensity, nor will the views of each of the people in the relationship be the same. Who can reach in and truly understand the heart and mind of another? Only God. If one is focused on one over powering relationship such as you are, other relationships become mundane. The people are not able to converse with you concerning what is important to you, nor can you converse with them regarding what is important to them. I have found this to be true with myself. That is why it is said “like begets like”. But no relationship is ever equal.

 

[KingAlfred]

I know I can’t maintain friendships with non-Christians. I find myself unable to relate to them, and eventually run out of things to talk about. Also, if I try to relate to them over a prolonged period – say for example, at work – I gradually become frustrated with the kinds of conversations we have, in as much as they lack a spiritual dimension. So, no…I don’t recommend friendships with non-believers or anti-Catholic Christians. Not a good idea.

 

[peary]

I know I can’t maintain friendships with non-Christians. I find myself unable to relate to them, and eventually run out of things to talk about. Also, if I try to relate to them over a prolonged period – say for example, at work – I gradually become frustrated with the kinds of conversations we have, in as much as they lack a spiritual dimension. So, no…I don’t recommend friendships with non-believers or anti-Catholic Christians. Not a good idea.

**Wow…such an elitist attitude! **

 

[Flopfoot]

Can’t believe this thread is still goin’, we rarely get threads this long in Spirituality… ah well anyway since I’m lookin in here again I may as well stick up for KingAlfred… its not “elitist”, he’s just giving his experience. I can relate to what he’s saying and I know some of my Christian friends can too, who have complained to me that things are tough at work when their workmates want to talk about sex or whatever all the time at work and it ticks them off because they know it’s immoral talk and don’t wanna be around that all day. Fair enough, I say.

Admittedly I disagree with his recommendation, because in my experience despite the issue of them talking in a non-religious way I still have good friendships with non-Christians. But I can appreciate that for some people this is harder.