Should we permit our 14 to play violent computer games?

[Libero]

Perhaps you should take time to find out information about the game. I was never allowed 18’s (do you have that) and now I don’t care about them, I actually even appreciate it . Some my parents were far less strict with games that have an advised rating, but always stuck stringently to the ratings that were legally made. Games can still be violent, but can be set in a completely different world or context, like fighting in ancient china or something. I would refrain from the ones that have too great a connection to reality, and just try some others.

 

[wabrams]

Benedictus:

Am I the only one who thinks that playing “violent” video games isn’t bad? I played those types of games growing up, and I have yet to murder anyone. Boys just like that type of thing, and I don’t think it’s harmful.

Sexual content is another matter though.

I’ll admit I don’t know anything about that game in particular.

I agree with you on that. And though going outdoors to play might be healthier, ie exercise, what do most boys play outside? War.

 

[felra]

**I’d say that it is indeed detached from reality–in other words, it’s just a game. **

I’m not saying all “violent” games are okay. I wouldn’t let my kids play Grand Theft Auto, for example. But I don’t see anything wrong with letting kids play most games with shooting, fighting, etc.

:twocents:

I agree, but also “detached from reality” is the scary part for me, with the degree of realism and violence being depicted, it seems more that “just a game”. Sort of a desensitization from the suffering and actuality of violence. A lack of empathy for the victim that a teenager is blowing away, mortally wounding, or blowing up.

Growing up I was always taught a healthy respect for lethal weapons and the prey that I would shoot and never to point a gun/weapon at another person unless intent to shoot–whether an air pump bee bee gun, sling shot, and eventually shotguns/rifles. I believe that this generation of cyber teenagers is missing this important link with reality. How many of these kids have firsthand experienced the violence that entertains them? I have watched wild gamebirds flutter helplessly to the ground, game animals stumble and with spasmatic kicking breathe out there last breath, …its not pretty but not without purpose and respect. More of my :twocents:.

 

[joeysmom]

MonicaPA:

Hi everyone,

I sympathize with your situation completely! My 13 yo son is a good boy also but has a strong affection for video & computer games.

IMHO, you should stand firm. You have good reason to. We, as parents should not advocate the purchase of violence & bloodshed for the purposes of entertainment.

My son’s newest request is to play ‘online’ games. Does anyone have experience with this? He has been begging for months but it makes me very concerned since from what I understand he would be able to communicate with other players on the internet. Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

Keep praying & I will pray for all of us (children included!).

Peace of Christ,
Monica

Monica, yes! Joey plays this game called Shattered Galaxy and he meets people of all ages while playing (the free version). I haven’t given him permission to pay for it. My husband and I are concerned because he seems to chat a lot with them and they debate politics, religion, etc… I am afraid they are starting to influence his thoughts and beliefs.

How much time do you permit your son to play on the computer? Actually, I would love to know what you all do about this.
Thanks

 

[sparkle]

joey(name removed by moderator):

Aloha Everyone:
My 14 year old son is a very good kid. He gets wonderful grades, is a homebody, etc. However, he loves to play those violent shoot’em up games. He has asked permission to buy a sci-fi game called Half-Life for his computer. It is rated M for mature audiences. It has excessive gore, violence and adult themes. Of course we said no. He is now upset with us and is trying to convince us that we will not become a serial killer, etc.
I feel that he is starting to lose his spirituality and focusing more on his computer.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hi to “joey(name removed by moderator)”:

Your post is a wonderful one, and I can totally relate! I have 3 teens myself and they LOVE their computer games. I wish we had never let any “bang bang shoot em up” games or violent games of any nature in our home, but we did. Not “M” ones of course. The ones rated “T” for teen are bad enough. But war-enacted realistic violent ones all the same. Yikes~

May I ask you why would you allow “M” games which are rated “over 18” in your home to begin with for a 14 year old? Perhaps you were not aware of the ratings, but yes, definately the “M” ones are INAPPROPRIATE. Get rid of them all, and do not allow them in your home again. Just tell your son now you know this. Period. Even the ones rated “T” for teen are questionable. I also mght say too, that as I heard on “Focus on the Family”, some guests of Dr. Dobson said once: the only way to rid your child of his video game addiction is to get something in their lives to replace it with". Sports and music was the key for us.** Find another outlet for your precious son. He must have some other interests/talents–find out about them, and go for it. In the meantime though, at least rid your home of all “M” games, and start looking at the ratings on the games’ cover. OK? And also too, limit his playing to no more than one hour per day. Hope this helps.
Also don’t forget to pray for your children.
Luv,
Sparkle

 

[Shiann]

I’m a woman, (30) and I love gaming. I’ve got two younger brothers, so we had a lot of fun together growing up. We still do!

Half-Life (& II) is one of my faves. The online version is Counter Strike, and it is also great fun.

I commend all the parents here who have taken a stand on what you children are exposed to. As adults there will be plenty of opportunity for them to experience these things.

I have a 10yo dd who is very familiar with all these games (sees me and my brothers playing) but I make sure she sticks with age appropriate games to actually play.

You know what your child should be exposed to. I feel with my understanding of the gaming environment, I can introduce this to my daughter in an apporpriate way. She isn’t enthralled by the gory games- in fact of any that she BEGS me to play- it would be online games like Ulitma Online or WarCraft. But since these are subscription services, and she doesn’t have the money or the sophistication to stick with, and develop her character- I have decided to wait.

I don’t particularly like UO or WC, because they are so time consuming. My brothers have both played thousands of hours, and have accumulated accounts that could be sold for hundreds of real dollars. Bah. I’d rather play for a half hour or an hour- and be able to put it away without a financial obligation.

My advice to the OP would be that if you have a question- follow your instincts. It sounds like you’d rather have him doing something else. I commend you for that!

Way to go Mom!

 

[joeysmom]

Summer Girl:

I just consulted my resident game expert, my husband. He says Half-Life is basically a game about a scientist who is stranded on a base where an interdementional portal opens up and all sorts of space monsters come out and you have to kill them. He said that he would let a fourteen year old play this game, but not Half-Life II. Half Life is an older version, but Half Life II is newer so the gore is more graphically realistic. He compared Half Life to Halo. Hope that helps.

Hi Summer Girl. Thanks for asking your husband. I think it is the newer game Half-Life II that Joey wants to buy. Sorry about the confusion, I forgot about the first one.

 

[Shiann]

felra:

I agree, but also “detached from reality” is the scary part for me, with the degree of realism and violence being depicted, it seems more that “just a game”. Sort of a desensitization from the suffering and actuality of violence. A lack of empathy for the victim that a teenager is blowing away, mortally wounding, or blowing up.

I understand your point, but I don’t agree that the desensitization is quite as deep as you portray here. With most games it’s no different than watching a good war movie, or James Bond flick.

Growing up I was always taught a healthy respect for lethal weapons and the prey that I would shoot and never to point a gun/weapon at another person unless intent to shoot–whether an air pump bee bee gun, sling shot, and eventually shotguns/rifles. I believe that this generation of cyber teenagers is missing this important link with reality. How many of these kids have firsthand experienced the violence that entertains them? I have watched wild gamebirds flutter helplessly to the ground, game animals stumble and with spasmatic kicking breathe out there last breath, …its not pretty but not without purpose and respect. More of my :twocents:.

Most of the gamers around here have the same experience with hunting that you describe. There is a healthy respect when a hunter harvests. They see the use of a shotgun or rifle different than the use of a mouse controller to shoot a 2 dimensional rifle on screen. We’re probably lucky around here, but I offer the following articles for your review.

gr.bolt.com/articles/violence/violence.htm

And it’s working. Sparked by Columbine, mainstream media routinely paints a picture of gamers as odd shut-ins dangerously close to the precipice of violent behavior, and almost unerringly misconstrue the games themselves without taking the time to fact check…

Gaming is also a new medium, one that has recently become wildly successful. Young people play them and old folks don’t understand, so they must be bad. Don’t forget that in the 1950’s, rock and roll was linked to youth violence in the same way. The hedonistic, tribal rhythms were going to turn America’s youth into a bunch of violent maniacs. Rock and roll was banned and censored all over the country. A bill was even put before Congress in 1955 to ban rock and roll altogether.

And here:
culturalpolicy.uchicago.edu/conf2001/papers/goldstein.html

This last one is quite good as it takes most video game studies into consideration - regardless of their result.

I guess it boils down to this…

I feel the very same way when I miss a strike in bowling, or when I miss a short putt in golf; that I feel when I miss a shot in Half-Life or CounterStrike. And I have felt that way since I was 12 and we were playing Mario Brothers.

I wouldn’t classify myself as agressive.

So the point is, I think, that violent video games do not MAKE a teen into a bad adult.

If an already BAD teen spends hours and hours playing violent video games- you MIGHT get a bad adult. But remember, we started with a bad teen to begin with…

As with any cultural game, literature, art, music- (IOW the things we get to do in our spare time)… people will have many different opinions on their value in our lives, and the lives of our kids.

You as a parent are free to make that decision for yourself. But I hope those who choose not to include certain cultural items in their home- they would allow others the same freedoms.

 

[joeysmom]

Benedictus:

Am I the only one who thinks that playing “violent” video games isn’t bad? I played those types of games growing up, and I have yet to murder anyone. Boys just like that type of thing, and I don’t think it’s harmful.

Sexual content is another matter though.

I’ll admit I don’t know anything about that game in particular.

No, I don’t think “violent” games are all bad. I used to love to play Wolfenstein :yup:
We also permit Joey to play Timesplitter, and Tom Clancy games on his PS2. I just want to make sure our permission isn’t for more and more violent games. He is also not permitted to play games that have a lot of scantily clad women or sexual themes.

 

[joeysmom]

sparkle:

Hi to “joey(name removed by moderator)”:

Your post is a wonderful one, and I can totally relate! I have 3 teens myself and they LOVE their computer games. I wish we had never let any “bang bang shoot em up” games or violent games of any nature in our home, but we did. Not “M” ones of course. The ones rated “T” for teen are bad enough. But war-enacted realistic violent ones all the same. Yikes~

May I ask you why would you allow “M” games which are rated “over 18” in your home to begin with for a 14 year old? Perhaps you were not aware of the ratings, but yes, definately the “M” ones are INAPPROPRIATE. Get rid of them all, and do not allow them in your home again. Just tell your son now you know this. Period. Even the ones rated “T” for teen are questionable. I also mght say too, that as I heard on “Focus on the Family”, some guests of Dr. Dobson said once: the only way to rid your child of his video game addiction is to get something in their lives to replace it with". Sports and music was the key for us.** Find another outlet for your precious son. He must have some other interests/talents–find out about them, and go for it. In the meantime though, at least rid your home of all “M” games, and start looking at the ratings on the games’ cover. OK? And also too, limit his playing to no more than one hour per day. Hope this helps.
Also don’t forget to pray for your children.
Luv,
Sparkle

Hi Sparkle:
To answer your question on why we would allow a 14 y.o. to play M games, well, Joey borrowed an M game from a friend. We watched him play it and it didn’t seem any more violent than the teen games. Since we trust our son’s judgment, we permitted him to get those types of games. Some of them even have the on-off feature for the blood.
But I really regret this decision. I actually, collected all his M games and put them away. I look back fondly at the times he used to play Spyro the Dragon or Crash Bandicoot.

As for other interest, this is a constant battle my husband and I have. Joey does have to take piano lessons and is in the computer club. He swims but all of these things are more like obligations rather than interest. He really is interested in the ins and outs of computers. He is working on his own website.
He is an only child so it is hard to get him to go play outdoors and his friends from school live too far away. Unfortunately, we live in an area that don’t have too many kids his age. I’m not making excuses but these are the obstacles we face.

And, pray, yes I pray for him and all the children of the world.
Thanks for your advice.

 

[LSK]

joey(name removed by moderator):

Aloha Everyone:
My 14 year old son is a very good kid. He gets wonderful grades, is a homebody, etc. However, he loves to play those violent shoot’em up games. He has asked permission to buy a sci-fi game called Half-Life for his computer. It is rated M for mature audiences. It has excessive gore, violence and adult themes. Of course we said no. He is now upset with us and is trying to convince us that we will not become a serial killer, etc.
I feel that he is starting to lose his spirituality and focusing more on his computer.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

JPII once wrote: Not everything that is popular is right, and right is not always popular.

 

[Ghostgirl]

Just look at the ratings. That’s what they’re there for. Banning all games entirely is going too far.

 

[Alterum]

Benedictus:

Am I the only one who thinks that playing “violent” video games isn’t bad? I played those types of games growing up, and I have yet to murder anyone. Boys just like that type of thing, and I don’t think it’s harmful.

Sexual content is another matter though.

I’ll admit I don’t know anything about that game in particular.

I agree with you entirely. There’s nothing wrong with violent video games (and I’m very conservative, trust me). I’ve played Half-Life (and its sequel) all the way through. It just involves shooting aliens/zombies. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. Just make sure your son doesn’t waste a lot of time in front of a computer, like I did when I was younger!

 

[felra]

I understand your point, but I don’t agree that the desensitization is quite as deep as you portray here. With most games it’s no different than watching a good war movie, or James Bond flick.

My point was more one of teenagers losing the ability to have appropriate “Christ-like” empathy for their fellow man or creature. I still believe that the verdict is out. I see no research cited regarding how repeated viewing of/“participating” in violent images affects one’s ability to have empathy for the victim.

Most of the gamers around here have the same experience with hunting that you describe

. There is a healthy respect when a hunter harvests. They see the use of a shotgun or rifle different than the use of a mouse controller to shoot a 2 dimensional rifle on screen. We’re probably lucky around here, but I offer the following articles for your review.
I would think that most teenagers/kids are not exposed to hunting as a formative experience to reference for the reality of shooting and killing a living creature.
[
](http://gr.bolt.com/articles/violence/violence.htm)
gr.bolt.com/articles/violence/violence.htm[

Don’t forget that in the 1950’s, ](http://gr.bolt.com/articles/violence/violence.htm)rock and roll was linked to youth violence in the same way. The hedonistic, tribal rhythms were going to turn America’s youth into a bunch of violent maniacs. Rock and roll was banned and censored all over the country. A bill was even put before Congress in 1955 to ban rock and roll altogether.

Rock and roll was the accompany music to much of the rebellion of the 60’s onward and teenage rebellion in general.

And here:

culturalpolicy.uchicago.edu/conf2001/papers/goldstein.html

This last one is quite good as it takes most video game studies into consideration - regardless of their result.

I guess it boils down to this…

I feel the very same way when I miss a strike in bowling, or when I miss a short putt in golf; that I feel when I miss a shot in Half-Life or CounterStrike. And I have felt that way since I was 12 and we were playing Mario Brothers.

I wouldn’t classify myself as agressive.

So the point is, I think, that violent video games do not MAKE a teen into a bad adult.

If an already BAD teen spends hours and hours playing violent video games- you MIGHT get a bad adult. But remember, we started with a bad teen to begin with…

As with any cultural game, literature, art, music- (IOW the things we get to do in our spare time)… people will have many different opinions on their value in our lives, and the lives of our kids.

My point is that to raise kids to be Christ-like, allowing them to manipulate realistic images in often graphic, audio stimulated violent encounters can lessen the appreciation for the reality of violence and lack of empathy for suffering.

You as a parent are free to make that decision for yourself. But I hope those who choose not to include certain cultural items in their home- they would allow others the same freedoms.

Of course, just like the internet. Responsible parenting. I would hope that Christian parents exercise discernment and common sense in filtering “cultural items” that their children are allowed to consume with their minds.

 

[MonicaPA]

wabrams:

What online game is he interested in playing?

Sorry to follow up so late on this question…I have a lot of posts to catch up on in this helpful thread!

He (my 13yo son) wants to play online ‘role-playing’ games. I do not have a specific name for the game, but I need to find out. Someone earlier mentioned scantily clad women/girls on these games. That is a NO-NO for my kiddo…another reason to deter him at this point.

I am going to have to find a delicate, loving, yet firm way to say no!

 

[Shlemele]

For those with early teen children I would suggest stradegy games as they have little to no gore. and no saxualy sugestive content. I enjoyed sim city myself. These are great if you have an analytical child.

Online shooter games that might be more age apropreate are ones like star ward battlefront. You are a storm trooper or a rebel soldier. No blood really and if you would let your children watch the movies then it is probably age apropreate for them.

Online games can be tough because they can be such an engrosing experiance. If possible do some research to see if the game comes with tools to restrict game time.

That’s about all I got, but if you have questions please PM me.

 

[KiwiCatholic86]

When I was 14, I used to play an online role-playing game called Avatar. It’s a MUD, so completely text-based (no images of scantily-clad characters there). Playing a MUD is often described as like being in a book, so can be very engaging for certain people. While there are various channels you can chat over, you can also turn them all off, effectively isolating yourself from the other players if you wish. It’s intended to be family-friendly, so certain words and topics of discussion were off-limits on public channels and there was a word-filter option as well. Perhaps you could look into something like that.

 

[puzzleannie]

no not unless you wish to teach him that violent reactions are to be encouraged and are useful problem solving techniques.

 

[Shiann]

felra:

My point was more one of teenagers losing the ability to have appropriate “Christ-like” empathy for their fellow man or creature. I still believe that the verdict is out. I see no research cited regarding how repeated viewing of/“participating” in violent images affects one’s ability to have empathy for the victim.

I understand. But again, I think this is line of thinking is deeper than is necessary.

When I play first person shooter games there is no victim and oppressor- it doesn’t get that deep. It is merely my ‘character’ getting from point A to point B and getting rid of any obstacles in the way. There is nothing that entices me to merge reality with fiction and give my character and the other characters in the game depth of emotion. It is really no different than reading a book about a man who does all the things I’m doing ‘for’ him in a computer game.

When I log on, and play CounterStrike I shoot other human shaped characters, in an environment that is similar to an abandoned war torn city. I could be shooting moving soda cans, or rolling rocks, or flinging rubber bands at falling leaves. But as my goal is to shoot every single one of those ‘objects’, my frustration develops because of my lack of skill- NOT because I want to kill all the human beings I can.

Now, can 12-14 year olds handle this- maybe not. And that call is completely up to the parents.

But I hesitate to paint the broad brush of “violent games make violent kids”. I think rather, it would be more proper to say “violent games may make violent kids more violent.”

As I, and those I know (who play first person shooter games) are not inherently violent people, violent video games are just another form of entertainment… war movies, Tom Clancy novels, etc.

I would think that most teenagers/kids are not exposed to hunting as a formative experience to reference for the reality of shooting and killing a living creature.

Probably not- which is why I clarified that in my post.

Exactly my point. “Rebellion already- music followed- may have made more rebellion.”

Violent kids- violent video games- may make more violent kids.

My point is that to raise kids to be Christ-like, allowing them to manipulate realistic images in often graphic, audio stimulated violent encounters can lessen the appreciation for the reality of violence and lack of empathy for suffering.

That’s a fine opinion, and if you choose to raise your children that way- I will applaud you and support you in doing so. But in turn, I can make the determination that it has entertainment value- and that my child can enjoy it responsibly, and I can still feel confident that I’m raising my child in the Faith.

Of course, just like the internet. Responsible parenting. I would hope that Christian parents exercise discernment and common sense in filtering “cultural items” that their children are allowed to consume with their minds.

I completely agree with this statement. But “cultural items” is so broad- that it might include things for me that it would not include for you.

 

[mercygate]

joey(name removed by moderator):

Aloha Everyone:
My 14 year old son is a very good kid. He gets wonderful grades, is a homebody, etc. However, he loves to play those violent shoot’em up games. He has asked permission to buy a sci-fi game called Half-Life for his computer. It is rated M for mature audiences. It has excessive gore, violence and adult themes. Of course we said no. He is now upset with us and is trying to convince us that we will not become a serial killer, etc.
I feel that he is starting to lose his spirituality and focusing more on his computer.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I think if you’re asking the question, you have already lost the battle.

No way on God’s green earth would I have knowlingly let anything like that into my kid’s brain. Enough garbage got in there WITHOUT my knowing it. Kids need to know that their parents are willing to take a little grief in order to stand up for their values. How else will they learn?

BTW, my kid now makes the movies I wouldn’t have let in the door (e.g., Bad News Bears – yuk!).