What is happening here?!
The OP is in a very serious situation. She has already demonstrated an understanding of Church teaching, and has admitted that she is struggling with accepting it, because of the trials she and her husband are facing.
She doesn’t need to be put down. Her struggles should not be minimized.
She needs to be encouraged not to be fearful.
She needs to be directed to models of NFP that offer a high level of certainty.
She needs to be counseled to go back to her priest and speak to him if her conscience is still troubled.
And she needs to be told that if, despite all her efforts to form her own conscience, that if her husband still doesn’t understand, and out of fear he goes and gets a vasectomy or insists upon condom usage, she is not culpable. Her husband may yet come to a place of conversion or acceptance. But right now they are scared.
I think the use of the word “pathetic” and other such words used in this thread to mock the internal conflict experienced by the OP and other posters who have gone through similar crises, is just mean and unfair. Would you look someone in the face and call them pathetic? Because there are people on the other end of the internet connection, even if you cannot see their face.
The OP was asking if the Church would prefer that she “excommunicate” herself because she cannot accept a hard teaching right now. I said of course she should stay. To whom should she go? The Church that Christ founded has the teachings that lead to eternal life. But some posters here appear to be so angry at her internal conflict, as well as those of a couple other posters who struggle similarly, that they are willing to say yes, leave. I remember one poster saying that if she finds herself unable to refrain from communion while she struggles with dissent (remember she and her husband are only discussing vasectomy, and nothing has been done yet), then yes, she should leave the Church until such time as she finds she no longer dissents.

It is against forum rules to tell someone to leave the Church, and furthermore, how dare anyone tell any of the lost little lambs to stay away until they can properly find their way back to the Church, without the help of Jesus looking for them each and every Sunday?