Shut that thing up!

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I’m sorry if I came off as bashing her MIL. I don’t think it necessarily has to be taken that way. Finding the humor in it is a healthy thing to do.

I’m not recommending that they openly make fun of her MIL. But that can laugh about her to themselves.

See, I figure, if the couple can laugh at the situation, they are more likely to be able to charitably maintain a relationship with the woman.

If they continue to let this woman hurt them, they are more likely to sever their relationship with her. Suppose this happens, then the old woman dies. Later they find out that this orneriness is a symptom of some sort of disease that afflicts the elderly. They could regret their not maintaining contact.
 
Black_Jaque said:
I’m sorry if I came off as bashing her MIL. I don’t think it necessarily has to be taken that way. Finding the humor in it is a healthy thing to do.

I’m not recommending that they openly make fun of her MIL. But that can laugh about her to themselves.

See, I figure, if the couple can laugh at the situation, they are more likely to be able to charitably maintain a relationship with the woman.

If they continue to let this woman hurt them, they are more likely to sever their relationship with her. Suppose this happens, then the old woman dies. Later they find out that this orneriness is a symptom of some sort of disease that afflicts the elderly. They could regret their not maintaining contact.
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actually, franks mom is quite young, she is only 62 🙂 we do not see much humour in it, and what we do do is ignore most of it as we are just not surprised anymore. but the shut up comment really hurt and why? because earlier in the day, i had wished someone who is close to me, a happy thanksgiving, and all they could say was, is that it? i said, well, i guess you don’t want to talk to me then, and you want to speak to frank?

there was silence on the phone, and they spoke to frank, wished him a happy thanksgiving and spoke for half an hour to him. at least someone was nice to frank yesterday, for that iam deeply grateful. then he called his mom about a half hour later, and this happened, and i heard it, and after the first phone call, this one just tipped the hat over, and it hurt, and i felt sad, and that was
enough to bum me out for the whole day.

but, today, i thought i’d post about it, talk it over with you all, and see what you had to say about it, and you’ve all been very good to me and frank for this we are both very grateful to say the least!

God bless you all!
 
BLB_Oregon said:
That is actually within what I meant by counselling…just having someone outside the drama who can speak to what you are going through from an entirely sane perspective.

I did not mean to imply that there was anything wrong with your husband mentally. It is very difficult to take the kind of abuse he’s getting from someone you love. This is not one of those normal things that everyone has to deal with.

I am glad you have the priest to talk to, also. This is so not about you, so not about Canada. This is about your MIL.

I would not be so sure about that. She abused him over what went on with his opa, did she not? How can that be blamed on you? If she loved him so much and in a healthy way, why would she punish him for the fact that you and his opa don’t live up to what she wants?

She blames you, yet she calls him an idiot, though, right?

I don’t think I need to tell you that this is not normal behavior for a woman who has a healthy and loving relationship with her son. Otherwise, why on earth would the man who was so lovingly raising her son not be a “positive thing” to talk about? Let us say she could not take care of Frank herself through no fault of her own…if you were in her position, wouldn’t you thank heaven for your wonderful parents who take care of your only son for you, and do it ten times a day?

I don’t know how to tell you this, but “just not speaking” to one’s MIL is not what is normally meant by “getting along fine.” It seems as if you may have only moved from the “slave” or “non-entity” list to the “competitor” list.

The more you talk about her, the more she sounds like a classic manipulator. Again…who is the person that she takes care of? If she thinks this abuse is ok, who is the person whom she loves even though they trade this kind of abuse?

That is only about a million times more worthwhile than anything I have to say.

Good luck to you, and bless you for being such a supportive wife.
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this is definitely not about me, your right about that. grandpa was the kindest man next to frank that i have ever had the pleasure to meet! God rest his loving soul!

Franks mom left him with grandpa not because she didn’t have the means to look after him, but because she had met someone and didn’t want to raise him. that’s a true fact.
 
MyPhilomena said:
this is definitely not about me, your right about that. grandpa was the kindest man next to frank that i have ever had the pleasure to meet! God rest his loving soul!

Franks mom left him with grandpa not because she didn’t have the means to look after him, but because she had met someone and didn’t want to raise him. that’s a true fact.
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I am in no position to know what caused that, except that it is some deep sickness of the mind or of the soul. Even if not, it would probably be the easiest on you and Frank if you assumed that were the case. It is a matter of the heart; it cannot be proven otherwise until Judgement Day.

One hopes that everyone does the best the can, all evidence to the contrary…and mothers, most especially. Thank God, indeed, for that grandpa, for he, his wife, and Frank’s great grandmother are the ones who brought Frank to you whole. How the whole situation must have broken their hearts! May they all rest in peace. Pray for their lost daughter. I think I am safe in saying that they would want that.

I think it will be Heaven before you meet your real MIL. Let us hope and pray that comes to pass. As for this life…well, you never know. You never know. Greater miracles have happened.
 
I just have to apologise to you as a human being that anyone, just anyone let alone a family member should ever say such awful words to another human being. I am sorry, sorry for you, sorry for your husband Frank who has blossomed so beautifully in his conversion to the faith and sorry for his mother, sorry for his mother’s father…I am just sorry.

You know you have to blow all of this woman’s hate out of the water with love. Hate can’t touch love, no venom that spills out of her mouth, no fits of rage and name calling can touch love. Love just destroys hate. You also know that satan strikes at the heart of the family, he likes to spread discord in families and your mother-in-laws weakness is not hate of you, her weakness is that she doesn’t know how to love nor how to let go and let others love, that is why she thinks she hates you because she sees you taking the only love she had in her son and to her mind you took him far away from her, so she has no idea how to love.

You know no-one can ever know Love, ever know Jesus unless someone has been Jesus to them.

You and your husband must show her how to love by being so very kind to her, so very patient with her, so very polite to her, but also being so very strong together in your marriage and in love of each other.

St Paul said that our battle is with spirits and dominions…you and your husband say this prayer to Jesus to take this spirit of discord away from your family:

‘Lord Jesus bind all evil spirits from our family. In the Holy Name of Jesus we order you, spirit of discord and now bind you to silence by the Precious Blood of Jesus and bind you, spirit of discord, forever to the Cross. Amen.’ Then Bless each other with Holy Water making the Sign of the Cross and forgive your mother-in-law.

Say this in great faith and trust in Jesus and I assure you everything will be alright, you’ll see.

I will offer my next Eucharist for you and your family that it may be a living image of the Holy Trinity and of the Holy Family.

In my prayers
 
blessedstar said:
I will offer my next Eucharist for you and your family that it may be a living image of the Holy Trinity and of the Holy Family. In my prayers
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Indeed, that is very generous of you:) thank you. We do pray for her and we are never rude or combative with her or shout or anything like that.

We are trying to set an example, not just for her, but for my daughter as well. Like the previous poster to you said, greater miracles have happened! That is so true! Praise God!
 
MyPhilomena said:
Indeed, that is very generous of you:) thank you. We do pray for her and we are never rude or combative with her or shout or anything like that.

We are trying to set an example, not just for her, but for my daughter as well. Like the previous poster to you said, greater miracles have happened! That is so true! Praise God!
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You and Frank are beautiful people and God Bless your little one.

I give every one of my Eucharists back to Jesus for someone else, I don’t keep a single one all to myself because the way I see it our Blessed Virgin Mother Mary bore the Eucharist in her womb and gifted Him to the whole world, so the little I can do is offer my Eucharist for others too. You call it generous, I call it love of others and my duty.

Peace to you and your family always
 
blessedstar said:
I just have to apologise to you as a human being that anyone, just anyone let alone a family member should ever say such awful words to another human being. I am sorry, sorry for you, sorry for your husband Frank who has blossomed so beautifully in his conversion to the faith and sorry for his mother, sorry for his mother’s father…I am just sorry.

You know you have to blow all of this woman’s hate out of the water with love. Hate can’t touch love, no venom that spills out of her mouth, no fits of rage and name calling can touch love. Love just destroys hate. You also know that satan strikes at the heart of the family, he likes to spread discord in families and your mother-in-laws weakness is not hate of you, her weakness is that she doesn’t know how to love nor how to let go and let others love, that is why she thinks she hates you because she sees you taking the only love she had in her son and to her mind you took him far away from her, so she has no idea how to love.

You know no-one can ever know Love, ever know Jesus unless someone has been Jesus to them.

You and your husband must show her how to love by being so very kind to her, so very patient with her, so very polite to her, but also being so very strong together in your marriage and in love of each other.

St Paul said that our battle is with spirits and dominions…you and your husband say this prayer to Jesus to take this spirit of discord away from your family:

‘Lord Jesus bind all evil spirits from our family. In the Holy Name of Jesus we order you, spirit of discord and now bind you to silence by the Precious Blood of Jesus and bind you, spirit of discord, forever to the Cross. Amen.’ Then Bless each other with Holy Water making the Sign of the Cross and forgive your mother-in-law.

Say this in great faith and trust in Jesus and I assure you everything will be alright, you’ll see.

I will offer my next Eucharist for you and your family that it may be a living image of the Holy Trinity and of the Holy Family.

In my prayers
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thank you blessed star for that prayer I will say it whenever I approach my dad and I hadn’t thought of Holy water before which is what God blesses and may be needed with such a strong spirit, I will carry that prayer with me always, I have noticed that my dad is in silence because he has no nice words in his brain. If a person is not really RECEIVING the love they will not return it or if he does not really hear it can’t repeat it so I need something to break the barrier and only Jesus can other wise it can end up being a shouting match. Jesus is a quiet loving Lord thank you again :blessyou: desert
 
MyPhilomena said:
no she isn’t 🙂 she is 3 inches taller than me, and has bigger muscles 🙂
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😃 As for your daughter… Don’t argue with her, I certainly won’t! 😃

I offered my Eucharist for you and your entire family today.

I hope you said the prayer with your husband and blessed each other with Holy Water making the Sign of the Cross.

I hope things are much improved for you and your family.

In my prayers
 
dessert said:
thank you blessed star for that prayer I will say it whenever I approach my dad and I hadn’t thought of Holy water before which is what God blesses and may be needed with such a strong spirit, I will carry that prayer with me always, I have noticed that my dad is in silence because he has no nice words in his brain. If a person is not really RECEIVING the love they will not return it or if he does not really hear it can’t repeat it so I need something to break the barrier and only Jesus can other wise it can end up being a shouting match. Jesus is a quiet loving Lord thank you again :blessyou: desert
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Tomorrow I will offer my Eucharist for you and your father.

Yes say the prayer. This applies to all situations,whatever spirit may be affecting peoples lives insert the name of that spirit, for example, spirit of lust, spirit of envy, spirit of greed, spirit of discord, spirit of violence etc

In my prayers
 
You know, we might be under-estimating the pain your M-I-L has gone through.

Sometimes, the most angry bitter person is just a front for the pain of seperation they have gone through.

While we should certainly pray for this woman, we should not do so with a spirit of arrogance, or feel that we are in any way better than she, for who knows her heart save The Lord.

It might be that when she gets a telephone call, she cannot help blurting it out for one reason or another. She might also be a daily church goer praying the rosary morn noon and night.

It might be her specific focus of the day to reduce her anger.

It might not be.

But we don’t know.

Peace and God Bless.
 
Magicsilence said:
You know, we might be under-estimating the pain your M-I-L has gone through.

Sometimes, the most angry bitter person is just a front for the pain of seperation they have gone through.

While we should certainly pray for this woman, we should not do so with a spirit of arrogance, or feel that we are in any way better than she, for who knows her heart save The Lord.

It might be that when she gets a telephone call, she cannot help blurting it out for one reason or another. She might also be a daily church goer praying the rosary morn noon and night.

It might be her specific focus of the day to reduce her anger.

It might not be.

But we don’t know.

Peace and God Bless.
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I agree, we must not judge
 
Magicsilence said:
You know, we might be under-estimating the pain your M-I-L has gone through.

Sometimes, the most angry bitter person is just a front for the pain of seperation they have gone through.

While we should certainly pray for this woman, we should not do so with a spirit of arrogance, or feel that we are in any way better than she, for who knows her heart save The Lord.

It might be that when she gets a telephone call, she cannot help blurting it out for one reason or another. She might also be a daily church goer praying the rosary morn noon and night.

It might be her specific focus of the day to reduce her anger.

It might not be.

But we don’t know.

Peace and God Bless.
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no, she is not a churchgoer, that is a fact. she is an athiest and a socialist and quite proud of it believe me. as for her pain, that is obvious, she misses frank, but she is quite angry about life, and choses to take it out on innocent people.
 
MyPhilomena said:
no, she is not a churchgoer, that is a fact. she is an athiest and a socialist and quite proud of it believe me. as for her pain, that is obvious, she misses frank, but she is quite angry about life, and choses to take it out on innocent people.
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Well we are all sinners, Catholic, Christian, Jew, Muslim, non-denominational, athiest etc.

She is still your neighbour and probably the most wounded neighbour you know so carry on loving her being the Good Samaritan you are.

In my prayers
 
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