I know where you are coming from. I have struggled with that for some time. I just knew I was to marriage. While I still have quite a long time left, I am beginning to question that marriage was my calling.
Agapewolf - I am married now and a couple years younger than you, but I thought almost my entire life that I was supposed to be single and for a while thought I might be called to the religious life. I am an introvert and enjoy being by myself, but also enjoy the intimate company of a few friends and family. When I was single I would sometimes be sad about not having someone to share my life with. I prayed long and hard about it and realized that I can also find so much joy and love out of the platonic relationships that I had with my friends. I also had more time to devote for volunteering, charities etc., which isn’t as easy when you are married with a family. I found peace in my heart when I prayed over this and became very happy about being “alone”. My life was full. Of course, as soon as I was at peace with this, God brought my husband and I together. (Although this was not something I was expecting at all.)
Oh Agapewolf, I cannot tell you how similar my situation is to what you were experiencing as a single person. I am getting more and more peace with the idea of being alone. And, your advice of not wanting somebody too much has been my reflection over the past couple of years. It’s bringing me enormous peace.
I recently went to a wedding of someone who I think was 34 and was very faithful to the church. She finally found the right person and they were married within a year.
Indeed…
Yup. I even went to prom with a friend, which was her idea, or otherwise I’d have gone even to that alone.
However, it’s painful sometimes. I do realise I’m a difficult person and I have much focus on things not so crucial to many other people, so matching might be difficult and living in a poorly matched marriage… I believe the sacrament brings grace in abundance, but realistically, even that doesn’t prevent people from suffering from ill matching. Sometimes it’s better single than poorly matched. I would only hope to find out before 30 if God wants me married, single or ordained, but I’ll be fine enough if I don’t get called while engaged or something like that. I sometimes make a point of looking the best I can, being the most brilliant I can and the most courteous I can, just to pwn… ooops, I mean, debunk, a couple of stereotypes about single people being losers. Not like it isn’t hard sometimes. Especially lately.I’m not sure God plans specific people for each other as in the one single soulmate theory. I don’t think God would leave someone alone just because a different person made the wrong decision.
Sure and believe me it gives me headaches, but God isn’t a single chance person.
It’s been killing me since my last relationship’s end, but I’m sort of moving on. We could surely end up with a wrong person and then be in real trouble, but on the other hand, I don’t think it would be so easy to lose “the intended one”. I imagine one would have to make some effort to get there. If it were just a good candidate, God would perhaps provide another and give us another chance.
But in reality, it’s probably either a bad coincidence or, if there is a plan of God’s in it, maybe you aren’t ready or maybe God has a specific woman in mind for you and she isn’t ready or you both aren’t, or maybe He has a different calling for you… who knows. I’ve noticed you say, “the right one.” Why “the”? Are you convinced there’s one special woman out there, the only one with whom it can work out? I think there are many possibilities but sometimes once two people click, they won’t get out of each other’s mind. But that’s more like a bond forming than two people “discovering” themselves, I think.Dang agapewolf got to you first.Flirts with kangnamdragon.