Hi therese3879, this is understandably very stressful and I hope it resolves as a case of psychosomatosis - your brain fooling your body into signs of pregnancy.
Given your symptoms, I’d head to your primary doc anyway. You can take an HPT and you should (they’ll give you another one at the office anyway and charge you thrice as much for it), but other posters are correct that other issues may be at play here that could indicate serious health concerns that should be checked out.
Also, you mentioned that the intercourse and ovulation were both recent but that you and your boyfriend have drifted apart. I’m sure that the stress of a possible pregnancy hasn’t helped things and may even be at cause of the drift, but I wonder if this is an indication that either your relationship clearly isn’t ready to become more serious (and hence you two should agree upon farther boundaries in the future) or that you two perhaps aren’t ready to grow any further together as a couple.
The family situation makes me think of my two daughters, who are far too young to worry about getting into a situation like this, and how we ought to raise them so that they will know what we expect of them, what we believe as truth, but also that they can come to us in times of crisis like this.
My deepest fears are because my family is very conservative Catholics, which makes my situation all the more unbearably hard. I find myself feeling lost and hopeless, because my family and even friends have looked to me as a role model for chastity. Because I always was, til weeks ago. So this is just the most humbling and painful experience I could ever imagine right now…
If I drive drunk and smash up my car, I’m not a hypocrite for telling you that you ought not to drink and drive - I’m just a lesson. You can still be that role model, but if you are pregnant you are right that it will scandalize some. Honesty is best in these situations, even if it is difficult. And take things one step at a time - bearing in mind that even with the difficulties of raising a child you still want to go to school and accomplish certain things in your life. All things can be done but you’ll certainly need their help, so honesty is best.
Looking for advice… if you are a parent of somebody my age, how would you recommend that I break the news, if I have to (if I AM pregnant) to my parents?
Just tell us. Let us help you. Give us the opportunity to be disappointed but then to forgive. It’s part of it, we’ll be mad but we’ll deal with it. And let us help you. We’ve been there with pregnancy tests and follow-ups and morning sickness and labor plans and delivery and healing and late night feedings and colic and diaper changes. In my house, and I hope in yours, the sin will be forgiven, the family will grow by one, the nights will be less restful and the days more work, but we accept gratefully the gift of the child and the opportunity to show a forgiving and selfless love to you, our daughter, once again. Pummel the boyfriend a few times perhaps, but …
And how on earth am I going to explain a pregnancy to my friends?
Simply. Maybe over dinner so they can’t run out the door screaming “Sinner!Sinner!Sinner!” Not that they would. Give them the opportunity to be supportive and let them be disappointed but reflect on their own lives as well.
What about at Mass, where it seems like everybody knows me?
Count yourself deeply blessed to have such a tight-knit parish in which to raise your child. Give them the opportunity to become community.
I’d just like to point out that “Plan B” is NOT the abortion pill. They work in completely different ways. Plan B is basically an extra strength birth control pill. It does not interfere with an already existing pregnancy, and is only effective within 5 days of the act.
I’d like to IM you, Sapphiregirl, to help me understand this difference that’s often been stated. It may be that we approach the definition of pregnancy distinctly so that one considers it to begin at implantation and the other at fertilization. Rather than continue to take the thread of this very stressed and open person off into a different direction.
And the cramping…Not to give you medical advice but you could have a cyst.
I know that sounds odd, but SOME of the cramping could be caused from the worry about the possible pregnancy. Our brains have a lot of power over physical symptoms. Since there is nothing you can do about the outcome by worrying, just worry about today…Yes you’re right, ANY form of birth control is against our beliefs, so good for you for standing up for your faith!