And that was his point - that as Catholics, we are called to serve others and the options are through marriage or though the religious life. He said in chosing the single life, one is ultimately serving only himself.
Like the other poster, I have wondered if what he said was true Catholic teaching? One thing I can say for this particular Priest - he doesn’t water down a thing - he tells it like it is… straight up and many people (sadly) find him totally offensive.
I agree with the practical and down-to-earth comments of Norseman82. I would like to add some things about the Catholic teaching on the matter.
What your priest said isn’t quite accurate, though I think his basic idea right. Is he a religious, by the way?
If not, right there you have another way of life which isn’t “religious life” in the canonical sense. I’m sure, though, that he meant “religious life in some broader sense.”
Anyway, we basically all have the same vocation: the vocation to love. In Familiaris Consortio, Pope John Paul says:
- God created man in His own image and likeness(20): calling him to existence through love, He called him at the same time for love.
God is love(21) and in Himself He lives a mystery of personal loving communion. Creating the human race in His own image and continually keeping it in being, God inscribed in the humanity of man and woman the vocation, and thus the capacity and responsibility, of love and communion.(22) Love is therefore the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being.
The last sentence is quoted in the Catechism, n. 2392.
Now, what are the basic ways we fulfill that vocation? Love has to be self-giving, and if it is to be complete, it has to involve the whole person, body and soul. So our sexuality has to be included in the way we live out our vocation to love. Moreover, self-giving is most complete when we give not only the present moment, but also our future lives, so far as we can–the love should include commitment.
For these reason, the
normal ways of fulfilling the vocation to love are (1) marriage, and (2) dedicated virginity or celibacy.
Pope John Paul II continues in Familiaris Consortio:
Christian revelation recognizes two specific ways of realizing the vocation of the human person in its entirety, to love: marriage and virginity or celibacy. Either one is, in its own proper form, an actuation of the most profound truth of man, of his being “created in the image of God.”
I say these are the
normal ways, because there might be circumstances that would exclude a full dedication to either way of life: if men or women are unable to marry, yet their spiritual director and confessor urge them not to promise virginity or celibacy. I would think it rare that such advice would be right for a person’s whole life, but can’t be excluded. God permits some to have bodily sicknesses so severe that they can’t live a normal life, and similarly God permits some to have psychological sicknesses of a nature that they can’t fulfill their vocation to love in the normal way–it is to be fulfilled in acceptance of their sickness, and in doing what they can to live according to love and grow in it.
So, your priest is right that as a rule one can’t
choose as a vocation an
uncommitted single life (though in some cases one might have to accept it, at least for a long time). But one can choose a
committed single life, by vows or some other promises dedicating one’s single state to the service of God, one’s neighbors and the Church. This committed to celibacy or virginity for the sake of the kingdom
is possible, however, outside a religious community, and therefore it’s not entirely correct to present the two alternatives as “marriage” and “religious life.”
Sometimes the vocation to a single life dedicated to service is discovered only through the fact that marriage is not impossible. I quote from my
book on vocation:
A second way in which a way of life may be found by divine providence is when providence determines the way of life. Thus, if one believed that one was called to religious life, but due to an incurable case of severe depression, one was unable to enter religious life, then one should accept this as God’s will, and turn one’s attention to other ways of life. Or again, someone might believe that he should marry, but find himself unable to do so. In such a case, he could then accept the situation as appointed by divine providence, and embrace the single state as a means of serving God and neighbor. Thus Pope Pius XII, speaking of the various ways in which a vocation to virginity may be experienced, includes the example of a woman who wants to marry, but is unable to do so.
When one thinks upon the maidens and the women who voluntarily renounce marriage in order to consecrate themselves to a higher life of contemplation, of sacrifice, and of charity, a luminous word comes immediately to the lips: vocation!.. This vocation, this call of love, makes itself felt in very diverse manners… But also the young Christian woman, remaining unmarried in spite of herself, who nevertheless trusts in the providence of the heavenly Father, recognizes in the vicissitudes of life the voice of the Master: “Magister adest et vocat te” (John 11:28); It is the master, and he is calling you! She responds, she renounces the beloved dream of her adolescence and her youth: to have a faithful companion in life, to form a family! And in the impossibility of marriage she recognizes her vocation; then, with a broken but submissive heart, she also gives her whole self to more noble and diverse good works.
“There is nothing worthy of a person’s joy save the service of God and the procurement of his honor and glory in all things.” (St. John of the Cross)
