J
JOL
Guest
I posted a couple weeks ago about how I have been on this see-saw for the past 11 years in and out of the Catholic church. Having been raised a Catholic I really don’t know much of WHY Catholic’s do what they do, I simply always just did as I was told. Quite honestly, I didn’t consider myself a Christian until I “accepted Jesus into my heart”.
My aunt (which you could honestly say is more of a grandmother to me than a aunt) is nearing death. It could be tonight that she leaves her body behind. This is the saddest news I am having to deal with, and to be completely honest, I am taking this very hard. I have been through many many deaths through my life, but in my adulthood, this is probably going to be one of the hardest. When her health started really fading last week I picked up my rosaries and began praying for her, asking for Mary’s intercession. I never really knew how to pray the rosary with the various mysteries, but I let the focus of my prayer be for my aunt. Tonight I went to Mass for her, I haven’t gone to Mass in a year or so.
The last time I went to Mass I remember just being so judgemental and looking for “errors” in the Catholic Mass. I didn’t even feel like I was there, it felt more like an out of body experiance than my really being there. Tonight when I went I really (for the first time in 11 years) saw the Mass for the beauty it truly is, how very Christ centered it is. Why hadn’t I seen this before?
It was through the death of my mother-in-law that I left the Catholic church. I couldn’t agree with “the church” that salvation can’t be found outside of her. My mother-in-law was a dear godly woman who centered her life on Christ, her faith in Him was evident in her everyday life.
It very well may be through the death of my aunt that I am led home to the Catholic church…though…I won’t say that just yet.
You see, I can’t for 1 second believe that just because my aunt hasn’t read a bible nor has she prayed a specific “sinners prayer” accepting Jesus into her heart, that I am not going to see her in heaven some day. I can’t believe that. She is a godly Catholic Christian woman who spends nearly 3 hours each day praying for people who ask for her prayer. This isn’t a quality that non-Christians possess. I know that it isn’t for me to decide who is a true Christian and who isn’t, but at the same time I can no longer accept that one has to say a “sinners prayer accepting the Lord into their heart” in order to be saved. Does that make sense? Thanks for listening to my ramblings…
My aunt (which you could honestly say is more of a grandmother to me than a aunt) is nearing death. It could be tonight that she leaves her body behind. This is the saddest news I am having to deal with, and to be completely honest, I am taking this very hard. I have been through many many deaths through my life, but in my adulthood, this is probably going to be one of the hardest. When her health started really fading last week I picked up my rosaries and began praying for her, asking for Mary’s intercession. I never really knew how to pray the rosary with the various mysteries, but I let the focus of my prayer be for my aunt. Tonight I went to Mass for her, I haven’t gone to Mass in a year or so.
The last time I went to Mass I remember just being so judgemental and looking for “errors” in the Catholic Mass. I didn’t even feel like I was there, it felt more like an out of body experiance than my really being there. Tonight when I went I really (for the first time in 11 years) saw the Mass for the beauty it truly is, how very Christ centered it is. Why hadn’t I seen this before?
It was through the death of my mother-in-law that I left the Catholic church. I couldn’t agree with “the church” that salvation can’t be found outside of her. My mother-in-law was a dear godly woman who centered her life on Christ, her faith in Him was evident in her everyday life.
It very well may be through the death of my aunt that I am led home to the Catholic church…though…I won’t say that just yet.
You see, I can’t for 1 second believe that just because my aunt hasn’t read a bible nor has she prayed a specific “sinners prayer” accepting Jesus into her heart, that I am not going to see her in heaven some day. I can’t believe that. She is a godly Catholic Christian woman who spends nearly 3 hours each day praying for people who ask for her prayer. This isn’t a quality that non-Christians possess. I know that it isn’t for me to decide who is a true Christian and who isn’t, but at the same time I can no longer accept that one has to say a “sinners prayer accepting the Lord into their heart” in order to be saved. Does that make sense? Thanks for listening to my ramblings…