Sleeping with your spouse, or not -- a question

[manualman]

WOW, that would be a serious drag.

We tend to sleep tanlged like puppies and I love. Works for her too as long as I use my ‘Breathe Right’ nose strips!

But everybody has to find what works for them.

 

[perfectpeach]

My husband and I also have this problem. We have two bed in our room. A queen size bed and a full size bed. I get the queen because I still cosleep.

 

[puzzleannie]

you could go the route that was pretty standard in middle class homes during my parents’ day, and judging by their house, also my grandparents, which is twin beds, or two double beds which is what my grandparents had, in the same room, because both were quite heavy. Grandma’s had a backboard. for the snoring try breath-rite strips, expensive but they actually work

 

[BamaRider]

Yall tellin me wearing a band-aid on your nose actually works? Far as I know I don’t snore, but good to know I can fall back to plan B if I start.

 

[1ke]

DH and I got a Tempurpedic king size which took care of the space and motion issues. We LOVE that mattress.

But, he snores endlessly. So, a couple of times he’s gone to sleep in another room so I can get some sleep. Sometimes his snoring is worse than others.

 

[whatevergirl]

Hi KC -Good to know dh and I are not alone with our sleeping issues. We have off and on slept in separate rooms even, for maybe 5 years now? It started back in PA. Not sure what happened, but dh really started snoring a lot more than when we were first married. I remember having no sleeping issues the first few years of our marriage. He claims that I snore…which I’m actually shocked to hear, but I guess I believe him.

We are planning to buy a sleep number bed soon–it has two separate chambers to mimic a double bed, but really it is one bed, with two separate areas…so you can adjust your side, your hubby can adjust his, and you don’t feel each other’s movements, and so on. I heard it’s great.

I marvel when dh and I watch tv shows or movies where the people fall asleep so close to one another…my husband’s response? They’re acting, honey.

Hats off to all of you who can sleep with your spouses without any problems! I’m envious. Hubby and I love to sleep together…we miss it, but we also NEED our sleep. We do manage to nap well together though…it’s at night where we have the issues.

 

[whatevergirl]

My husband and I have separate bedrooms, at opposite corners of the house. He’s got his own bathroom, too, because his banging around in the a.m. would wake the baby, who sleeps with me. Additional reasons for this arrangement are that he snores, and he sleeps ON TOP of the top sheet! Ever tried rolling over when a 200lb. man is on top of the top sheet? Can’t be done. It works beautifully for both of us, we have a happy marriage and we’ve been intimate at least 7 times.

I think it’s so funny to read everyone’s sleeping stories on here…how everyone is different, and how dh and I thought we were alone in this. We thought we were really weird or something…and we even felt bad about it at times, but reading through here, yay…we’re not alone!

Your post made me LOL!

 

[KCtheMommy]

Yall tellin me wearing a band-aid on your nose actually works? Far as I know I don’t snore, but good to know I can fall back to plan B if I start.

Yeah they work unless you have a cold, then you are going to snore no matter what!

 

[Joannm]

We have slept in twin beds for a number of years. They are pushed together and we use one King Size bedspread. Hubby also does not like to be touched when he sleeps and he hates blankets until the middle of the night when he used to pull mine off.

Funny thing but when we were in California over the summer we slept in a king at the hotel and had no problem. Maybe the bed was bigger than a regular King size.

 

[KCtheMommy]

Lucy and Ricky must have had a similar problem, as they slept in twin beds. All married television couples from the 50’s must have had similar problems. If you get twin beds, maybe decorate your bedroom in black and white, then tell every one you’re just getting ready to film an old family sit com.

We’re both LOL’ing!! OK will do.


I can’t believe HOW MANY OF YOU go through this.

I thought a few of you would, but really, no idea it was this unbalanced towards the “let’s just gets some sleep – in separate beds!” side!

 

[KCtheMommy]

We have slept in twin beds for a number of years. They are pushed together and we use one King Size bedspread. Hubby also does not like to be touched when he sleeps and he hates blankets until the middle of the night when he used to pull mine off.

Funny thing but when we were in California over the summer we slept in a king at the hotel and had no problem. Maybe the bed was bigger than a regular King size.

LOL it’s called a “California King” no kidding, honest.

 

[whatevergirl]

We’re both LOL’ing!! OK will do.


I can’t believe HOW MANY OF YOU go through this.

I thought a few of you would, but really, no idea it was this unbalanced towards the “let’s just gets some sleep – in separate beds!” side!

Sleep is reeeeeeally important. Like 70% of americans don’t get enough sleep supposedly…it could because they are all sleeping in the same bed as their sweeties. I’m horrible to be around if I don’t get enough sleep for a few days in a row. Good luck and let us know what you end up doing, KC.

 

[KCtheMommy]

Sleep is reeeeeeally important. Like 70% of americans don’t get enough sleep supposedly…it could because they are all sleeping in the same bed as their sweeties. I’m horrible to be around if I don’t get enough sleep for a few days in a row. Good luck and let us know what you end up doing, KC.

I think the King Temperpedic is out.

We talked today when he got home. Gosh, when I said it he looked crushed. I keep asking “are you sure you aren’t hurt about it?” I keep trying to make sure this isn’t going to upset him. I said what about a King Temperpedic? Well he kabashed the idea because a couple of the Chiefs at work were talking one day about those things. One chief going out to buy one was advised by another Chief about a small problem with a Tempurpedic: sex. Yeah it’s great that it doesn’t move when you sleep – but makes sex far less enjoyable because the bed just doesn’t move. LOL DH is like “you NEED movement.” I guess the Chief advising actually got rid of his temperpedic. So Tempurpedic users, what say you? Does it hamper your sex life?

Finally just now he said “you know, you are right, we aren’t sleeping, we are miserable. We need two beds, it’s just that they are so expensive.” I think at this point we agreed on one Temperpedic for me, and one regular bed that’s not firm, but not pillow top either for him. Cool.

That’s settled. I sure didn’t like his sad face. It’s so hard though, you know we’ve been fighting the fight to stay in the same bed for years. Just for the pre-conceived notion. Sometimes those things are so hard to let go.

Oh and about the snoring, DH covers his head with pillows when he sleeps, so if he’s not right next to me listening to me snore, he’ll be fine. I wont wake every few minutes by his turning.

 

[whatevergirl]

I think the King Temperpedic is out.

We talked today when he got home. Gosh, when I said it he looked crushed. I keep asking “are you sure you aren’t hurt about it?” I keep trying to make sure this isn’t going to upset him. I said what about a King Temperpedic? Well he kabashed the idea because a couple of the Chiefs at work were talking one day about those things. One chief going out to buy one was advised by another Chief about a small problem with a Tempurpedic: sex. Yeah it’s great that it doesn’t move when you sleep – but makes sex far less enjoyable because the bed just doesn’t move. LOL DH is like “you NEED movement.” I guess the Chief advising actually got rid of his temperpedic. So Tempurpedic users, what say you? Does it hamper your sex life?

hahahaha awaiting replies…lol!

Finally just now he said “you know, you are right, we aren’t sleeping, we are miserable. We need two beds, it’s just that they are so expensive.” I think at this point we agreed on one Temperpedic for me, and one regular bed that’s not firm, but not pillow top either for him. Cool.

Great, that’s a good plan, I think…you’re making progress.

That’s settled. I sure didn’t like his sad face. It’s so hard though, you know we’ve been fighting the fight to stay in the same bed for years. Just for the pre-conceived notion. Sometimes those things are so hard to let go.

Oh and about the snoring, DH covers his head with pillows when he sleeps, so if he’s not right next to me listening to me snore, he’ll be fine. I wont wake every few minutes by his turning.

Hey–you know what I just thought of…how about earplugs for your hubby? I wear those, even when dh is not in the bed…yes, I’m a very light sleeper, but the ORIGINAL reason I started using ear plugs (the foam kind) is to prevent hearing my hubby snore. Unless you sound like the loudest chainsaw on the planet, KC, earplugs should work for him. Have you guys tried that?

 

[KCtheMommy]

Hey–you know what I just thought of…how about earplugs for your hubby? I wear those, even when dh is not in the bed…yes, I’m a very light sleeper, but the ORIGINAL reason I started using ear plugs (the foam kind) is to prevent hearing my hubby snore. Unless you sound like the loudest chainsaw on the planet, KC, earplugs should work for him. Have you guys tried that?

We have, well he has – but there are still a million other things, like DH taking all the sheets off the bed in his flip-flopping. Me touching him accidentally. It’s not just the snoring!

 

[Teakafrog]

Well, we both love spooning with each other all night. Our issue is the mattress. I like a very firm mattress for my back, he likes a soft squishy one. So his solution (which we haven’t been able to afford yet ) is a Sleep Number bed, so we can both ‘pump up’ our side to the firmness we want. One of these years… Sigh. I can’t wait. I want a king too–we only have a queen, which was fun having the baby sleep with us for a year so she could nurse. Not.

 

[shannyk]

One chief going out to buy one was advised by another Chief about a small problem with a Tempurpedic: sex. Yeah it’s great that it doesn’t move when you sleep – but makes sex far less enjoyable because the bed just doesn’t move.

Oh my gosh…tooo funny that this would come up.

Several years back when I was mattress shopping I had me a lay down on one of those tempurpedics, and silently wondered "how on earth do people have sex on these things? does it work? do they make some sort of tempurpedic sex adapter mattress topper? because I just couldn’t see how it could work… Even taking into consideration various positions…I don’t see it. Ok I’ll leave it there.

Also read that tempurpedics are the most toxic mattresses as far as off gassing goes and are bad for people with asthma and emphysema etc., just an FYI if anyone is considering one and has those issues.

I’ve slept on one of the sleep number beds and LOVED it. Next time I’m mattress shopping that just might be the one I get.

KC you are not alone…I always found it difficult to sleep with my hubby, I coped, but never really got 100% used to it. When he was out of town working it was heavenly to have the bed to myself. My hub and I were both super touch sensitive, and no surprise our kids were, and are, the same way. I’m all for cuddling and all that but when you want to sleep you want some peace.

I say do what you gotta do. Good sleep is SO important! It’s hard on your heart and brain especially, not to mention hormones, like we don’t have enough issues with that as is, and if you’re trying to loose weight you’ll never do it without proper sleep. It really is important.

I personally think the idea of two doubles is a good one, unless that leaves the snoring unresolved. you can always push those babies together if need be

 

[udoc89]

I am the world’s lightest sleeper–my husband is next. My son says I wake up if the barometric pressure changes.

I’ve laughed as I’ve read through these posts, and I’m reassured that we are not oddballs for sleeping in separate beds. We have twin beds now, but I still have to sleep in a different room most nights. My husband snores, and I’m a restless sleeper. I kick and jump and talk in my sleep.

We already know we love each other–we’ve been married 26 years. We both need our sleep, however, and realized a long time ago there is nothing sexy about waking up cranky and groggy because someone made bullfrog noises all night and someone else was jumping up and down on the bed.

 

[happymommy]

Several years back when I was mattress shopping I had me a lay down on one of those tempurpedics, and silently wondered "how on earth do people have sex on these things? does it work? do they make some sort of tempurpedic sex adapter mattress topper? because I just couldn’t see how it could work… Even taking into consideration various positions…I don’t see it. Ok I’ll leave it there.


Also read that tempurpedics are the most toxic mattresses as far as off gassing goes
Is there a mattress with a man on it that doesn’t release toxic gas?!

 

[shannyk]

Is there a mattress with a man on it that doesn’t release toxic gas?!

oh my gosh…tears…happymommy you’re always a riot!

Yet another good excuse…er…reason to have seperate beds