We’ve been married for 21 years, and we’ve slept in just about any combo you can imagine in that time. Four little cuddlers to co-sleep and night-nurse, a back injury before our son had quite weaned (couldn’t sleep w/him in the bed anymore, so DH cuddled w/him instead), MAJOR snoring, etc. - we’ve spent at least as many nights in separate rooms as together.
When I was pregnant w/our 3rd child, I slept in a recliner for the last trimester. DH slept w/our son for quite a while after my injury and again after Katrina. He snores so loudly, even with the Breathe Right spray (which does help), that even the highest-rated earplugs in the store (33dB noise reduction rating) still need pillows over my head. Heck, even plugs and pillows aren’t always enough, and if I can’t wake him up enough to move to DS’s room I’ll go to the couch and deal w/the cranky back the next day.
Hey, does a noise machine really work? I can’t run a fan in the bdr because DH is prone to corneal abrasions - VERY painful, and his eyes don’t close all the way when he sleeps, so a fan is a big no-no.
I’ve been worried about him possibly having apnea for YEARS and begging him to see a doctor about it - being self-employed, though, with only the overpriced major medical insurance that’s offered to individuals, he keeps putting it off. I don’t have time, it’s too expensive, I don’t have time, I’ll wait till December so our deductible will be paid off (yeah, right, haven’t met a deductible since Katrina), I don’t have time…
Anyway, now that our kids pretty much sleep independently, we’ve been trying to get back to cuddling together at night. It’s been mixed results - we miss one another when we sleep apart, but we (me, anyway) almost always get much better rest apart than together. sigh
Here’s to all the CAF-ers and our flexible arrangements!