So, i just need the advice of omen who use it, have gone through it. is it REALLY, HONESTLY and TRULY effective? Do you feel comfortable with it’s effectiveness? What are it’s biggest drawbacks?
I can definitely relate to you not knowing any women who use NFP. Like you, I have Catholic parents. They always told me that NFP was the right way to do things, but when I got to be an adult, mom told me that they’d actually used condoms for years! Same with my inlaws. That definitely added to a fear of it not working–why else would my own Catholic parents not use it when they knew better? I understand your fear of it not working–I had the same uneasiness with it when I first decided to learn. But after reading through the material and getting some instruction on it, that fear subsided because I could tell that NFP was actually pretty scientific. That is, there are specific things that a woman’s body does when it’s fertile. Yes, NFP is honestly, truly effective as long as you follow the rules. It’s more effective than ABC, even. I’m very comfortable using it. I’ll admit that the first couple of months, I’d start getting a little antsy waiting for my period to start. But whenever that happened, I could go look at my chart and be reassured that I’d followed the rules. I don’t worry about it at all now.
As far as drawbacks go, there is the obvious abstinence issue. Some people have more trouble getting control over their sexual urges than others do. My husband was one of those who was not happy with the idea of abstinence when we first learned. But he’s worked very hard at it, and says he’s perfectly ok with it now. Periodic abstinence was never a problem for me, and I never saw it as a “drawback.” In practice, we both learned that it’s really not a drawback at all. It’s important that married couples learn how to say “I love you” to each other in more than just sexual ways. Using NFP, I feel so much more loved and respected. In all honesty, our sex life has actually *improved *a great deal since learning NFP. We’re both more appreciative of the gift of sex now.
The only other minor drawback I can think of has to do with the charting of it. The first couple of months, both my husband and I almost always had this calendar in our heads. It was almost like we felt we “had” to have sex while on our free days, because we’d be wishing we had when we were back on abstinence time. After gaining some understanding, the calendar went away. Part of the beauty (I think) of having the abstinence is that when that time is over, you both will experience a bit of an increased libido. We both appreciate each other much more now. So it’s really not a “drawback” maybe just a learning curve. We had to learn to trust in God and in the method of it.
The most important thing is that you have to put your trust in God. Sometimes, even with your best efforts to avoid pregnancy, God will bless you with a baby anyways, and you should be willing to accept it. That is just part of the territory that comes with having sex. You have to trust that God won’t give you more to handle than you can deal with, and trust that He will help you raise even a surprise baby. Before I learned NFP, I had two surprise babies! The timing wasn’t perfect with either of them–I had to finish going to school with a toddler and being pregnant. I guess the way I saw it, I’d had two surprises on ABC, which wasn’t good for my soul; I had nothing to lose by learning NFP. I decided to stop using ABC and put my trust in God instead. I’ve used NFP for about two years now, and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
