B
BUDDYBUDDY25
Guest
So here I am …feeling lost.
I’ve been married 12 years. One child. We didn’t have a second because our marriage has been a bit like a roller coaster AND he didn’t want to tempt fate…concerned that we’d have a child with a disability. (we have no risk of that)… I am 38 and WANT another child before it’s too late.
We’ve gone to counseling. LOTS of drama filled history. But, today - we sit - rarely have s*x. I don’t really initiate anymore, because it just seems like it will be more robotic stuff. Our physical history is not good… both victims of previous abuse. (Yes, we’ve gone to therapy, but I think it still bothers me).
Husband quit his job (I’m the breadwinner) and is trying to do freelance work (starting his own business from home). Wants to work from home…is doing that now, but still wants a nanny to help out now. Initially, it was to save us on childcare…even though our son is 8 and gets out of school at 3pm.
We are broke. He asked me to file for bankruptcy last year …since most of the debt was in my name. He wanted to save his credit…so we could get cars etc and wouldn’t both be burdened with the bad credit. Well, the bankruptcy was dismissed. I make far too much money…well over 6 figures. Now, I just have outstanding debt…loads of it. And it’s mostly been charged off. I have ZERO credit.
Years ago, he suggested I sue my mother for my father’s life insurance …my Mother does not have a job (never has) and she was living off of it. I said no…
He wants to sue for everything lately. We moved into a house that had mold last summer. We had a mold test done – it showed positive, but the landlord thought my husband was such pain in the arse that he told us he would refund our security deposit and he wanted us to move instead of fixing it. My husband filed suit against him and that’s still pending.
Then, we moved into another house (lease) and it had bad plumbing – sewage leaking from ceiling – and while they fixed it – he filed suit against them. That’s also still pending.
He called a news reporter on that story and begged that they do a report. The reporter said he would need to name me (I have a public job) and I said no. Husband is upset that I won’t do the story. I said my bankruptcy etc could get out in the media and I can’t risk that. He just doesn’t seem to get it.
So, now I sit angry, resentful. He’s home all day “doing accounting” even though our home office looks like a kindergartener did the filings. It’s a mess. He’s lost the business checkbook…
and last night, I asked him to do me one favor. The deadline was last night at midnight. He “forgot” and the whole thing ended up without my entry…
I have talked to him about this and he seems to let it go in one ear and out the other. He makes me dinners often… when I get home from work, but that’s about it. After our son falls asleep, he usually drinks wine and falls asleep too.
I wanted to bring an organizer in to get the bills and paperwork set up properly and he said no…he’d handle it. Yet, he spent the weekend scrubbing the driveway to make it look cleaner. I sometimes want to strangle him.
Am I out of bounds? Or would this make someone want to run for the hills?
I have been advised several times to file for divorce – and I have always tried to hold out.
I’ve been married 12 years. One child. We didn’t have a second because our marriage has been a bit like a roller coaster AND he didn’t want to tempt fate…concerned that we’d have a child with a disability. (we have no risk of that)… I am 38 and WANT another child before it’s too late.
We’ve gone to counseling. LOTS of drama filled history. But, today - we sit - rarely have s*x. I don’t really initiate anymore, because it just seems like it will be more robotic stuff. Our physical history is not good… both victims of previous abuse. (Yes, we’ve gone to therapy, but I think it still bothers me).
Husband quit his job (I’m the breadwinner) and is trying to do freelance work (starting his own business from home). Wants to work from home…is doing that now, but still wants a nanny to help out now. Initially, it was to save us on childcare…even though our son is 8 and gets out of school at 3pm.
We are broke. He asked me to file for bankruptcy last year …since most of the debt was in my name. He wanted to save his credit…so we could get cars etc and wouldn’t both be burdened with the bad credit. Well, the bankruptcy was dismissed. I make far too much money…well over 6 figures. Now, I just have outstanding debt…loads of it. And it’s mostly been charged off. I have ZERO credit.
Years ago, he suggested I sue my mother for my father’s life insurance …my Mother does not have a job (never has) and she was living off of it. I said no…
He wants to sue for everything lately. We moved into a house that had mold last summer. We had a mold test done – it showed positive, but the landlord thought my husband was such pain in the arse that he told us he would refund our security deposit and he wanted us to move instead of fixing it. My husband filed suit against him and that’s still pending.
Then, we moved into another house (lease) and it had bad plumbing – sewage leaking from ceiling – and while they fixed it – he filed suit against them. That’s also still pending.
He called a news reporter on that story and begged that they do a report. The reporter said he would need to name me (I have a public job) and I said no. Husband is upset that I won’t do the story. I said my bankruptcy etc could get out in the media and I can’t risk that. He just doesn’t seem to get it.
So, now I sit angry, resentful. He’s home all day “doing accounting” even though our home office looks like a kindergartener did the filings. It’s a mess. He’s lost the business checkbook…
and last night, I asked him to do me one favor. The deadline was last night at midnight. He “forgot” and the whole thing ended up without my entry…
I have talked to him about this and he seems to let it go in one ear and out the other. He makes me dinners often… when I get home from work, but that’s about it. After our son falls asleep, he usually drinks wine and falls asleep too.
I wanted to bring an organizer in to get the bills and paperwork set up properly and he said no…he’d handle it. Yet, he spent the weekend scrubbing the driveway to make it look cleaner. I sometimes want to strangle him.
Am I out of bounds? Or would this make someone want to run for the hills?
I have been advised several times to file for divorce – and I have always tried to hold out.
