Your posts are all over the place.
In Spiration, I hope that you don’t mind if I try to address all of your concerns in just a couple of simple answers. If I miss something important, or if I fail to give a reasonable answer I’m sorry. I’m doing the best that I can. I, perhaps more so even then you, am trying to reason this out.
As for how I define my “self”, I have indeed given this some thought. On the one hand all that I know about myself is that I think, I wonder, I reason. These are the most essential aspects of my “self”. They are what I mean when I say that “I am”. I can contemplate my own existence, therefore I am. When I boil it all down to what I really, truly, honestly know, that’s it, that’s all, I am. I’m not some omnipotent, onmiscient, creator of all the universe, just a simple, inconsequential, I am. Alone. Unfeeling, and unloved.
On the other hand I am an insignificant human, on an insignificant speck of dust, trying to cope with the everyday struggles of life, and insecurity, and love, and hatred, and indifference, and injustice, and the inhumanity of man. I love. I hate. I fear. I hope. I remember. These things are just as much a part of who I am as some philosophical “I am”. These things give meaning, and context, and purpose to some imagined, grand, illusory “self”. I feel. I experience. I care. I persevere. I am alive.
And therein lies the dichotomy. For on the one hand I am honest enough to accept that this may only be an “illusion”, but on the other hand I know that it is only because of this “illusion” that I love, and hope, and dream, and cry. I claim that it is only an illusion, but I act, and hope as if it is not. I am either a hypocrite, a fool, or both.
Or perhaps it is simpler than this. Perhaps the solipsist in me speaks of my spirit, and the humanity in me speaks of my soul. Of such things I do not know. I leave it to you to decide.
You asked how I define my “self”. I am both hypocrite and fool. Solipsist in spirit, but human in soul. That, for now, is all I can give. If it changes I will humbly let you know.