Someone with no sins to confess?

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My son just celebrated his first Sacrament of Penance. After the children were done the priest invited anyone else that was there to go to confession also. In talking to a friend she said she would go to confession but she can’t think of any sins that she would need to confess since her last confession (which I think was 2 years ago). I laughed and said there would have to be something…heck…I usually sin within hours of leaving confession.

I know of some sins she committed such as not going to Church on Sundays or Holy Days of Obligation or gossiping…but in order for something to be a mortal sin it would have to meet the “three conditions for mortal sin”. What do you say to someone who truly thinks they are sinless? I wish I could suffer from the same delusion 🙂
 
If you perform an examination of conscience and come up empty after two years, you are either a saint or are purposely keeping yourself ignorant of what sin is.

It’s an interesting question - if I cover my ears and go “na na na” when people are talking about sin, is that a sin in itself? If I hear that missing Mass is a mortal sin but I don’t believe it, is that a sin in itself?
 
ryanferg said:
My son just celebrated his first Sacrament of Penance. After the children were done the priest invited anyone else that was there to go to confession also. In talking to a friend she said she would go to confession but she can’t think of any sins that she would need to confess since her last confession (which I think was 2 years ago). I laughed and said there would have to be something…heck…I usually sin within hours of leaving confession.

I know of some sins she committed such as not going to Church on Sundays or Holy Days of Obligation or gossiping…but in order for something to be a mortal sin it would have to meet the “three conditions for mortal sin”. What do you say to someone who truly thinks they are sinless? I wish I could suffer from the same delusion 🙂
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My opinion.
I think that that definition of sin is the traditional one, a little short…
It is not what you did or did not. Yes, you do and do not.
But your condition is a condition of sinner.
You and me are sinners.
We do not do what God wants.
The plan He has got for This world, we do not do it.
Thy Will be Done.
We do not do His will. That is why the world is like it is.
Sometimes we cannot remember exactly what we did wrong, but we should remember this condition of sinners.
We may go to the priest and say: “Father, I do not remember concretly facts, but I come here to confess that I have not done God’s will, that I am sorry for not being excactly like God wants me to be, and I will strive to be better, to do God’s Will, and never let Him Down!”.
That is enough to be a confession, unless the priest demands a “list”.
I do not think we should judge what others did.
Maybe what we think is a sin is not and what we think is not God judges it badly. Let God do the job right.
These were my thoughts.
 
Perhaps she was just embarrassed and knows she has sinned but didn’t want to tell you that. If she went, she must have told the priest SOMETHING.
 
You may offer yourself as an example of something you failed to do and maybe that will change her perspective on the need for Confession.
St. Basil once said -

Now, someone who takes a man who is clothed and renders him naked would be termed a robber; but when someone fails to clothe the naked, while he is able to do this, is such a man deserving of any other appellation? The bread which you hold back belongs to the hungry; the coat, which you guard in your locked storage-chests, belongs to the naked; the footwear mouldering in your closet belongs to those without shoes.
 
One of the Church’s precepts is to confess at least once a year. It’s apparent that she is unaware of this, at minimum. The OP has reason to believe that she is ignorant of what constitutes serious sin, so the best course of action is to give her a good examination of conscience to instruct her. Tell her that this is something to help her in teaching her son about moral living as he starts to ask her questions of right and wrong (and believe me, they DO ask). Best to be informed before the questions start coming.

I like this EoC:

Examination of Conscience for Adults

As an aside, I always plant a subtle seed when someone says something like, “I don’t have any sins to confess, and it’s been years since my last confession.” I tell them, “Gee, then I want a relic from you because the Pope goes to confession at least weekly, and so do I.”
 
I have…locked up…in confession…in fact I prefer to schedule but on a couple of times I’ve done the both prior to mass and…I don’t know once my iPhone …I thought! I left in my car rang off just as I opened the door…I did a thing though that is ok to do…Anglicans sometimes call it (broad confession ) its not bad to use…on an infrequent basis but not the ideal standard…but in a pinch…it works thusly…: Christ said love the Lord thy God, heart/soul/mind…Love thy neighbor as thyself. It’s of course a 2 point summation of the Decalouge “on these hang on the law and prophets” in a sense to transgress any of these is a domino/cascade of transgressing all:Now very important…protocol to the Priest…In the times I’ve used it I say…“Father, I ask your indulgence and patience to lay out before you and The Almighty a broad confession : usually I have gotten a kindly go ahead son. Father Bless me for I have sinned: Scripture says love neibor…I spoke ill of a brother I by doing so slandered one made in Gods image…thus not loving God…not loving God is tantamount to idolatry…”" AGAIN…it’s actually a good…Spiritual House Cleaning!!!.. It can can be misused if one uses it to avoid…specific personal sins…Summation…I think all of us have started a good connnfession or in my phone incident…it some how erased what I was going in for…it’s a question of balance…using is of course far away better than not doing connnfession …and speaking of iPhones there is a Catholic Confession App…it’s useful …to keep up with issues…review it before your confession (turn your ringer off people:))…and a simple journal does not hurt…I have used a …plain…line school binder stuck the page in my pocket and if it’s been a while for a confession …I literally go down the list!!! Anyway please forgive the length …I’m Texas-Irish…so brevity is not my strong point…forgive me that …😉 but hope in my Texas Irish catholic ramble I have a few halfway useful ideas!!! Godbless my beloved brethren !!!
 
Thanks for the new examination of conscience link! I was exhausting my other one and afraid the priest would get angry with me for not having substantial sins to confess. But I want to go to confession once a week, and do so for the most part. I have teaming imperfections and frequent confession gives me the grace to avoid serious sin.
I was reading St. Faustina and how she had regular confessors. If she had things to confess, don’t we all?😉
Perhaps the person who feels she has no sins is avoiding venial sins and imperfections, which don’t have to be confessed, but why not get that grace offered by the sacrament? How many times have I seen the priest’s light on over his confessional with empty confessionals to either side. I think of what a waste of a fantastic resource (the priest) and brushing aside of a great sacrament given to us.
 
From what I hear on religious TV many decent folks regard themselves as good (sinless) because they’re not obviously bad. But according to the great thinkers in the church the fact that you’re not obviously bad doesn’t make you good enough in the Lords eye either.

In some Church’s during confession they have available these ‘conscience’ cards tailored to adults, teens or children. A quick scan of one of these is an eye opener for the vast majority.

**What do you say to someone who truly thinks they are sinless? ** Politely remind them that we all sin and that we never know when our last day is upon us…‘and do you really want to be wrong about where you’ll spend eternity?’:rolleyes:

Regular confession is the best fire insurance you can have.
 
“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: " ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments" (Matthew 22:36-40).
 
ryanferg said:
My son just celebrated his first Sacrament of Penance. After the children were done the priest invited anyone else that was there to go to confession also. In talking to a friend she said she would go to confession but she can’t think of any sins that she would need to confess since her last confession (which I think was 2 years ago). I laughed and said there would have to be something…heck…I usually sin within hours of leaving confession.

I know of some sins she committed such as not going to Church on Sundays or Holy Days of Obligation or gossiping…but in order for something to be a mortal sin it would have to meet the “three conditions for mortal sin”. What do you say to someone who truly thinks they are sinless? I wish I could suffer from the same delusion 🙂
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There is really not much you can say to a person like this. If, as you say, you know she missed mass then you certainly could point that out, but otherwise, I’m afraid there isn’t much to be done until the Holy spirit begins to move them.

Actually I went through this when I returned to the Church. Though I was very happy to be able to return the sacraments, it was obvious that I had not yet been fully convicted in my sinfulness. My first confession back was quite poor in fact. Father was most patient with me and absolved me.
Later, as I began to reflect on matters, I became more and more convicted in my past sins and eventually had to return to confession with two sheets to confess…

As a friend, you can remind another that we all sin, large and small and that confession is a sacrament of great grace and benefit. You might even consider talking a bit about things that you struggle with (but only with a good friend) in the hopes that such conversation might help to encourage them in their own self examination.

But - like I say - there really isn’t much one can do - it’s more up to the Holy Spirit.

Peace
James
 
It is my understanding that one only has to go to confession if one has committed a mortal sin. The confession during mass takes care of all the venial sins. Am I mistaken?

I stopped going to confession because our priest seemed impatient with my usual list of venial sins. I do go when we have the special penance services during Advent & Lent - then I can go to a priest who doesn’t know me too well. :o

I miss the priests who helped me spiritually in confession even tho my sins were small potatoes.
 
mdkirkbride said:
You may offer yourself as an example of something you failed to do and maybe that will change her perspective on the need for Confession.
St. Basil once said -

Now, someone who takes a man who is clothed and renders him naked would be termed a robber; but when someone fails to clothe the naked, while he is able to do this, is such a man deserving of any other appellation? The bread which you hold back belongs to the hungry; the coat, which you guard in your locked storage-chests, belongs to the naked; the footwear mouldering in your closet belongs to those without shoes.
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I agree with this. Sins of omission can be just as important to atone for as sins of commission.
 
ryanferg said:
What do you say to someone who truly thinks they are sinless?
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What would I say? The only person you are fooling is yourself.

Perhaps this person could benefit from a good printed examination of conscience.
 
Bonnie said:
It is my understanding that one only has to go to confession if one has committed a mortal sin. The confession during mass takes care of all the venial sins. Am I mistaken?

I stopped going to confession because our priest seemed impatient with my usual list of venial sins. I do go when we have the special penance services during Advent & Lent - then I can go to a priest who doesn’t know me too well. :o

I miss the priests who helped me spiritually in confession even tho my sins were small potatoes.
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I know what you mean about the priests who help even with small potato sins. I, too, miss the advice. But I believe the advice will return again. I also think perhaps when no advice is given, they feel you can take care of the matter. Then too, they may be very busy or have a lot on their minds, or just finished speaking to a murderer. We can’t know. And if that particular priest seemed impatient; perhaps you could try a disclaimer, which I’ve done on occasion, “I have my faults and venial sins to confess…” But don’t stop going to confession. 😉
God bless you.
 
Met this Cat…he was fixing a deck on our boathouse. It was warm…I see him wiping his face…so I call down come in a bit… My wife just made cold lemonade. Gladly he trots in…sipping his glass he sees a wood cross above the mantle…Are you a Christian Sir? Indeed I am I said. He tells me I used to live like the Devil…drank smoked weed gambled at the boats…but 9 years ago I went to this church hands got laid on me I was slain! And got up free! (Not desiring a debate on hands and slaying spirits) I said well it is very fine you are free of these addictions! No sir! Better…I see go to a Full Holiness Church… It was nine years ago, ain’t committed nary a sin nary a one! What do you think of that…I heard my wife scuttle out the front door (despite nothing being in the SUV…she has a what will he not say phobia…it’s exaggerated I feel.) I really fell my head swim… Well…my friend…9 years! That was a bloody deep long coma …glad your on your feet!" (For anyone who is worried I hurt his feelings…fret not…he looked a bit confused…smiled…said …amen…) polished off his lemon and went back to work. Lol…sigh…bless his heart…I’m not familiar with this full holiness bit but I rather felt bad for him…I mean…People!!! What were they teaching the man that he was CONVINCED he committed …“nary a sin 9 years” …on April 1st I may have a play for Father Tim…my good Limerick Priest…he actually has a joke over me…I might confess Nary a sin…when you mess with him his brogue gets thick as a peat bog!!!
 
Elvis_Guy said:
Met this Cat…he was fixing a deck on our boathouse. It was warm…I see him wiping his face…so I call down come in a bit… My wife just made cold lemonade. Gladly he trots in…sipping his glass he sees a wood cross above the mantle…Are you a Christian Sir? Indeed I am I said. He tells me I used to live like the Devil…drank smoked weed gambled at the boats…but 9 years ago I went to this church hands got laid on me I was slain! And got up free! (Not desiring a debate on hands and slaying spirits) I said well it is very fine you are free of these addictions! No sir! Better…I see go to a Full Holiness Church… It was nine years ago, ain’t committed nary a sin nary a one! What do you think of that…I heard my wife scuttle out the front door (despite nothing being in the SUV…she has a what will he not say phobia…it’s exaggerated I feel.) I really fell my head swim… Well…my friend…9 years! That was a bloody deep long coma …glad your on your feet!" (For anyone who is worried I hurt his feelings…fret not…he looked a bit confused…smiled…said …amen…) polished off his lemon and went back to work. Lol…sigh…bless his heart…I’m not familiar with this full holiness bit but I rather felt bad for him…I mean…People!!! What were they teaching the man that he was CONVINCED he committed …“nary a sin 9 years” …on April 1st I may have a play for Father Tim…my good Limerick Priest…he actually has a joke over me…I might confess Nary a sin…when you mess with him his brogue gets thick as a peat bog!!!
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I was waiting for the line about the mosquiteers a coming with lanterns to find us.
 
Elvis_Guy said:
It was nine years ago, ain’t committed nary a sin nary a one!
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Sounds like a guy I used to work with. He had started his own home church - except his wife & kids weren’t disciples - & he really shocked me when he said he hadn’t committed a single sin since his conversion! :eek:

I was too polite to say anything, but I would have given anything to ask his wife if he was really without sin. 😃
 
Back in the days when I went I frequently to confession - once a year or so - I didn’t have much to confess, either. Sometimes I had to struggle to dig up three things to ut on “the list”. I surely didn’t lead a better life than i do now, I just managed to justify most of my sinfulness, blame it on someone or something else, or just not see it at all.

Now I go about monthly, and while I still have to pause and reflect, I can usually find several things that are not as they should be. I love that our priest never seems impatient. ALL sin is offensive to God, he says.

Pray for your friend to see things in her life as God sees them

I have a co-worker/friend who hasn’t been in about 40 years. She says that other than a few swear words and missing Mass on Sundays… I have been talking to her for years (like about 10). Trying not to push too hard, but to gently assist the Hoy Spirit. I gave her a little booklet the other day on confession. She asked how much she owed me. just GO!
 
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