M
marymagdalene
Guest
This morning, I woke up refreshed. I did my usual morning prayer and read today’s scripture reading and homily. There was something that the priest wrote in that homily that I did not notice when I read today’s gospel. It was in Jn 1:42b which says,“Jesus looked at him (Simon)”. The priest wrote it this way: Jesus looked at Simon --that special, intense, concentrated look of love that sees not only what is on the surface, but inner depths.
It was nothing at first, but when I reflected on it for a while, there was a feeling that I really could not describe. It was like I was there and Jesus was not looking at Simon, but me. It feels like there was something heavy in my heart that has been lifted or melted with that look. I believe I have just been healed with my hurts - of being rejected by ex-boyfriend. I did not measure up to my ex-boyfriend’s standards so he left me and married someone else who may have met his standards (good for him). Jesus allowed me to really see who I really am and what I am worth to Him. He sees me as His Child, His Friend and His Champion. And I believe in my heart and mind now that this is my real image and I am special to Him. I felt like He said I am worth dying for…indeed, He died for my sins on the cross. For a long time, I have not felt this romantic feeling (yes, I find this romantic) and yet felt deeply spiritual.
Now, I can see that my pain had been a gift. It allowed me to see the real me, my real worth and who really Jesus is to me. I thank Him for that gift and the growth that is brought about by the painful experience. Now, I can move on and I know I can now see clearly Christ in the people around me.
I thank you for your prayers.
It was nothing at first, but when I reflected on it for a while, there was a feeling that I really could not describe. It was like I was there and Jesus was not looking at Simon, but me. It feels like there was something heavy in my heart that has been lifted or melted with that look. I believe I have just been healed with my hurts - of being rejected by ex-boyfriend. I did not measure up to my ex-boyfriend’s standards so he left me and married someone else who may have met his standards (good for him). Jesus allowed me to really see who I really am and what I am worth to Him. He sees me as His Child, His Friend and His Champion. And I believe in my heart and mind now that this is my real image and I am special to Him. I felt like He said I am worth dying for…indeed, He died for my sins on the cross. For a long time, I have not felt this romantic feeling (yes, I find this romantic) and yet felt deeply spiritual.
Now, I can see that my pain had been a gift. It allowed me to see the real me, my real worth and who really Jesus is to me. I thank Him for that gift and the growth that is brought about by the painful experience. Now, I can move on and I know I can now see clearly Christ in the people around me.
I thank you for your prayers.