Something that happened after Mass

[notsmart]

I am trying to find a book or something that shows a layout of the Catholic Church and all the proper names for the places in it.
After the Mass today, I went up to the front of the church where there appears to be what’s called a Communion Rail, except at this church they dont use it for communion. Behind that area is of course the altar, and facing it to your left is the choir area. To the right is Mary and to the right of her, off to the side is the tabernacle with the red candle where the people go to get the Eucharist out of it, to give to the people. The names for these people, I don’t know so I’ll just call them assistants for now.
There is a room behind this tabernacle area that they keep the door open to, where the priest comes out at the beggining of the Mass, with the altar boys and girls, and some other people (I dont know what they would be called either) and then they go around the back, and then up the center aisle to the front area I described.

Here is what happened today. I was up as far as I could be, (the communion rail) and kneeled down as close as I could to Mary. Who is sorta off on the wall not out visibly in front. So, she seemed a bit farther away then in the other church I go to, where she is on the left side, and she is a massive marble statue there. No choir there, they are upstairs. And, there is a Joseph on the right…

Anyway, so after Mass, I was trying to say the Rosary by Mary and about 5 min into it, a lady appears from the way back of the area behind the altar, and is just walking around, moving a chair, then replaces the flowers at Mary’s table under her (she is not a statue here, but a wall hanging in what looks like brass) and then the choir director walks up to her (2 feet away from the altar) and they start chatting. Then she gets a cell phone call. She procedes to take it, and has a good and loud chat on the phone, for what seemed like an eternity. I could not pray the rosary with her doing all that. So, I fumbled for my little cheat sheet to try to focus again, and she sees me looking at my paper and tells her friend she has to “get off the phone now because someone is here”
I felt like I was intruding, and getting her angry I was there, so I grabbed my child’s hand and tried to bolt. She walks closer to us and asks if I need any help. I just stared at her. She smiled, then walked away, walked right past the tabernacle without kneeling (I see everyone do this there, so I am wondering why she did not?)
And then she follows me as I try to escape. I turned around, and said, oh I am sorry my name is Monica and I was just trying to pray the rosary and I am not good at it yet. She tells me her name, and that she is the DRE of the parish. (I found out, by looking at the bulletin, she must be the Director of Religious Education, if I am correct on the abbreviation. She told me she would be happy to help me out if I needed it, and told me to call her anytime.

Well, later in the day I just had really bad thoughts about everything that happened. I can’t put my finger on it, but it just seemed wrong that she was walking around up there, That she and the choir director were having a chat in front of the altar like that, and all the rest. Am I being too sensitive to all this?
I want to ask the priest about it, but how?

 

[Dauphin]

So, I fumbled for my little cheat sheet to try to focus again, and she sees me looking at my paper and tells her friend she has to "get off the phone now because someone is here"

That’s right. Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God and the Incarnate Word - the One who offers Himself in the Eucharist as an immaculate and perfect oblation for the forgiveness of sins - is there in the tabernacle, so she should stop profaning His house and adore Him.

 

[LilyM]

Taking a phone call in church, not to mention passing by the Tabernacle without at least a bow towards it, is slack and disrespectful to say the least, even more so when you were there nearby trying to pray!

I have to say you were a lot more tolerant than I would have been about such behaviour. Perhaps bring the matter up with her again next time you meet - perhaps in a somewhat humorous way like ‘gee, that must’ve been a really important phone call - and to think you just had to take it while Jesus was there in the tabernacle in front of you too! I guess it can only have been from God the Father then!’

 

[notsmart]

Taking a phone call in church, not to mention passing by the Tabernacle without at least a bow towards it, is slack and disrespectful to say the least, even more so when you were there nearby trying to pray!

I have to say you were a lot more tolerant than I would have been about such behaviour. Perhaps bring the matter up with her again next time you meet - perhaps in a somewhat humorous way like ‘gee, that must’ve been a really important phone call - and to think you just had to take it while Jesus was there in the tabernacle in front of you too! I guess it can only have been from God the Father then!’

I’m not sure she would listen to me as I am not even a christian.
She would laugh that I would say anything to her.

 

[EasterJoy]

I am trying to find a book or something that shows a layout of the Catholic Church and all the proper names for the places in it.
After the Mass today, I went up to the front of the church where there appears to be what’s called a Communion Rail, except at this church they dont use it for communion. Behind that area is of course the altar, and facing it to your left is the choir area. To the right is Mary and to the right of her, off to the side is the tabernacle with the red candle where the people go to get the Eucharist out of it, to give to the people. The names for these people, I don’t know so I’ll just call them assistants for now.
There is a room behind this tabernacle area that they keep the door open to, where the priest comes out at the beggining of the Mass, with the altar boys and girls, and some other people (I dont know what they would be called either) and then they go around the back, and then up the center aisle to the front area I described.

Here is what happened today. I was up as far as I could be, (the communion rail) and kneeled down as close as I could to Mary. Who is sorta off on the wall not out visibly in front. So, she seemed a bit farther away then in the other church I go to, where she is on the left side, and she is a massive marble statue there. No choir there, they are upstairs. And, there is a Joseph on the right…

Anyway, so after Mass, I was trying to say the Rosary by Mary and about 5 min into it, a lady appears from the way back of the area behind the altar, and is just walking around, moving a chair, then replaces the flowers at Mary’s table under her (she is not a statue here, but a wall hanging in what looks like brass) and then the choir director walks up to her (2 feet away from the altar) and they start chatting. Then she gets a cell phone call. She procedes to take it, and has a good and loud chat on the phone, for what seemed like an eternity. I could not pray the rosary with her doing all that. So, I fumbled for my little cheat sheet to try to focus again, and she sees me looking at my paper and tells her friend she has to “get off the phone now because someone is here”
I felt like I was intruding, and getting her angry I was there, so I grabbed my child’s hand and tried to bolt. She walks closer to us and asks if I need any help. I just stared at her. She smiled, then walked away, walked right past the tabernacle without kneeling (I see everyone do this there, so I am wondering why she did not?)
And then she follows me as I try to escape. I turned around, and said, oh I am sorry my name is Monica and I was just trying to pray the rosary and I am not good at it yet. She tells me her name, and that she is the DRE of the parish. (I found out, by looking at the bulletin, she must be the Director of Religious Education, if I am correct on the abbreviation. She told me she would be happy to help me out if I needed it, and told me to call her anytime.

Well, later in the day I just had really bad thoughts about everything that happened. I can’t put my finger on it, but it just seemed wrong that she was walking around up there, That she and the choir director were having a chat in front of the altar like that, and all the rest. Am I being too sensitive to all this?
I want to ask the priest about it, but how?

You ask your pastor if you can have an appointment to talk to him privately, and when you have some time with him at which he can give you his undivided attention in private, tell him what you told us. That’s the place to start.

If he is totally unsympathetic to the problem you described, find a different parish. I don’t mean that he might not also counsel you that it is important to your spiritual health that you not dwell on bitter events or judge others, but that he should be sympathetic to someone who objects to parish staff who use cell phones in church, only a few feet away from the Blessed Sacrament, or anywhere where others are trying to recite the rosary. If that doesn’t bother him, you are trying to teach a pig to sing. Don’t try it: as the saying goes, you’ll just frustrate yourself and annoy the pig. But if he is like any pastor I know, he’ll be sympathetic.

 

[benedictgal]

If this woman is in charge of religious ed for the parish, she should know better. If this were an emergency, I can understand–things will happen and can be urgent. However, if this is some sort of chit-chat then she needs to take it to the outside.

Unfortunately, this is also what happens when people are no longer taught respect and silence before Our Lord.

 

[notsmart]

I am not a member there, and I am not a christian, but my daughter is going to school there. I just don’t feel I have the right to say anything, and it may mess up my child’s education if I do.

You ask your pastor if you can have an appointment to talk to him privately, and when you have some time with him at which he can give you his undivided attention in private, tell him what you told us. That’s the place to start.

If he is totally unsympathetic to the problem you described, find a different parish. I don’t mean that he might not also counsel you that it is important to your spiritual health that you not dwell on bitter events or judge others, but that he should be sympathetic to someone who objects to parish staff who use cell phones in church, only a few feet away from the Blessed Sacrament, or anywhere where others are trying to recite the rosary. If that doesn’t bother him, you are trying to teach a pig to sing. Don’t try it: as the saying goes, you’ll just frustrate yourself and annoy the pig. But if he is like any pastor I know, he’ll be sympathetic.

 

[puzzleannie]

there is one woefully ignorant person in OP’s story, and it is not the new Catholic just learning the rosary. sadly it is the person whose job it should be to educate others in the very behaviors she is lacking. Pray for your parish, volunteer for CCD, because you will learn a lot by teaching it, and hopefully will be a good influence on your DRE. Congratulations for not letting her have it. My peeve: catechists and DREs who persist in chatting, welcoming latecomers, insisting they sign in and get coffee etc. all the while the meeting has begun and we are in prayer or listening to the scripture being proclaimed. As often as I remind them we all stop what we are doing at those times, they still forget. yaggh

I did once answer the cell phone in church (not during Mass) because I was expecting an emergency call-back from the hospital, but stepped outside to deal with it. I did have to explain myself to those present later and ask their indulgence.

 

[notsmart]

there is one woefully ignorant person in OP’s story, and it is not the new Catholic just learning the rosary. sadly it is the person whose job it should be to educate others in the very behaviors she is lacking. Pray for your parish, volunteer for CCD, because you will learn a lot by teaching it, and hopefully will be a good influence on your DRE. Congratulations for not letting her have it. My peeve: catechists and DREs who persist in chatting, welcoming latecomers, insisting they sign in and get coffee etc. all the while the meeting has begun and we are in prayer or listening to the scripture being proclaimed. As often as I remind them we all stop what we are doing at those times, they still forget. yaggh

I am not a new Catholic.

I am a unbaptised person who desires to be catholic, married to an atheist. Its not like I can even volunteer for anything now. I am even unsure about when I can start RCIA. :crying:

Thats why I went to Mass yesterday and today. I went to Mass today twice! I was so upset by that lady I went to the other church where there is a huge Mary, and everyone is quiet there. And there were other ladies praying the rosary after mass too. One even smiled at my daughter and GAVE her a rosary!

 

[puzzleannie]

I am not a new Catholic.

I am a unbaptised person who desires to be catholic, married to an atheist. Its not like I can even volunteer for anything now. I am even unsure about when I can start RCIA. :crying:

Thats why I went to Mass yesterday and today. I went to Mass today twice! I was so upset by that lady I went to the other church where there is a huge Mary, and everyone is quiet there. And there were other ladies praying the rosary after mass too. One even smiled at my daughter and GAVE her a rosary!

good move, I would be very leery recommending you go to the first DRE for help with RCIA. welcome home, and I hope you find this journey the occasion of immense grace for you and your family.

 

[GoneFishin]

What we have here is more rampant disrespect to what Catholics hold dear and sacred to them. I see this at our Church and at various others that I have attended. The MC’s, Directors and even Eucharistic Ministers(and even some Priests) not following the rules. This is bad for our younger generation that will think that all this OK. We have to many Protestant influences in our Church. Is it just me or are the older Priests very lax about Mass nowadays?

 

[notsmart]

good move, I would be very leery recommending you go to the first DRE for help with RCIA. welcome home, and I hope you find this journey the occasion of immense grace for you and your family.

Thank you puzzelannie. She does not run the RCIA there, another lady does. I think she is a layperson with no title.

I do pray that one day, I can teach CCD there, and get into a pro life ministry somewhere. I want to so that I can help children, in and out of the womb. I don’t want to just sit back and expect things. It’s been very hard just learning what I have so far. I expect it will continue to be. But, my dad always said nothing is worth having that you have not worked hard for.

 

[notsmart]

What we have here is more rampant disrespect to what Catholics hold dear and sacred to them. I see this at our Church and at various others that I have attended. The MC’s, Directors and even Eucharistic Ministers(and even some Priests) not following the rules. This is bad for our younger generation that will think that all this OK. We have to many Protestant influences in our Church. Is it just me or are the older Priests very lax about Mass nowadays?

I like the priests at that parish. They are very good, and respectful. All of the people there take a deep bow in front of the tabernacle, some get on their knee. This is likely an isolated incident.
I don’t know what all the terms are you are using here mean, but the priests are good at this parish from what I can tell.
This happened after Mass, so there was nothing lax about the Mass at all. It was less formal than the other parish, but it was not lax.

I will pray for your parish also

Monica

 

[Cara_Serrano]

Dear Notsmart,
I’m sorry you had to experience this kind of irreverence towards God in a Catholic Church! I hope you continue your journey towards God and your commendable practice of saying the rosary. Despite what you may see individual Catholics doing in a Catholic Church, the divine presence of Christ in the Eucharist is real and always deserves our love, respect, and devotion. ((In addition to the DRE’s lack of respect for the Eucharist, interrupting your prayer time with her phone call was just plain rude!)

By the way, I think you should change your name. When it comes to Marian prayer and reverence for the Eucharist, you’re already smarter than a DRE!

 

[notsmart]

Maybe I needed to experience this now, rather than later. You are right Cara- I should not care what any individual does. In fact, that was the one thing I decided not too long ago would not deter me from going forward.
What I need to do, is be really nice to her, and pray for her in front of Mary no matter what happens, and heck- maybe as a byproduct of all this, I will learn to say the rosary no matter what the distraction is around me.

Because, what if I am in a noisy place when I need to pray it?
I might as well get used to it now. She may have been a blessing in a way to help me get better at focusing. I do sometimes drift off even when it is pin drop quiet. I have to stay positive!

I do know she runs the CCD program, so I am glad my daugher is getting her daily religious ed from someone else!

Of course, I will have to get up to speed on it because its my primary duty as a parent to insure she gets the right information, and learns it.

Pressure is building for me each day. Sometimes, I think my head is going to explode.

Thanks for the support in my journey!

And to everyone at CAF who is helping me be smarter.

 

[magdasmom]

Hi Notsmart, Congrats on your discernment to join the Church. I thought I’d point out if no one else had that RCIA usually starts when school starts in the fall. So check at some of the local parishes for an exact date. I am cradle Catholic but hubby is a convert of 2 years.

You did the charitable thing dealing with the DRE although I think you would be perfectly within your rights to mention to the priest or even any other person doing a similar thing. Some people are ignorant of “procedures” and just don’t know any better, even “higher ups” like DRE’s and such They come from families or parishes where the Catechism and practices of the church are watered down. Also, you may know this but I thought I would just check: it is wonderful for you to attend Mass while in conversion but not permitted to accept the Eucharist. Just FYI. You may know that already, but like I mentioned before, some people just don’t know so you have to give the benefit of the doubt. Praying for your continued conversion as well as your husbands!

 

[notsmart]

Hi Notsmart, Congrats on your discernment to join the Church. I thought I’d point out if no one else had that RCIA usually starts when school starts in the fall. So check at some of the local parishes for an exact date. I am cradle Catholic but hubby is a convert of 2 years.

You did the charitable thing dealing with the DRE although I think you would be perfectly within your rights to mention to the priest or even any other person doing a similar thing. Some people are ignorant of “procedures” and just don’t know any better, even “higher ups” like DRE’s and such They come from families or parishes where the Catechism and practices of the church are watered down. Also, you may know this but I thought I would just check: it is wonderful for you to attend Mass while in conversion but not permitted to accept the Eucharist. Just FYI. You may know that already, but like I mentioned before, some people just don’t know so you have to give the benefit of the doubt. Praying for your continued conversion as well as your husbands!

Thank you, Magda(name removed by moderator)! and yes- I know I can’t recieve. I am not even a christian, so I don’t even procede up the line, I just sit and pray in the pew.
I know the RCIA class schedule, but I have a finer problem with an atheist husband I am dealing with, with the help of a nice priest. We’ll see how this works out. Even if I have to wait longer.

By the way, nice to meet you! Thank you for replying to my thread and welcome to the forum!

Monica

 

[Jenny_Z]

Your best bet, when it comes to folks like that, is to just ignore them. Have courage, don’t let them interrupt your rosary.

When that happens to me (and it does, our parish tends to be noisy, and I try not to be angry), I always keep my head down and my rosary in my hand, praying “Please, God, let me concentrate on you” until either they stop, or I feel like I can go on.

 

[Church_Militant]

It’s going to be alright Monica.

Yes the DRE was messed up, but to be honest it seems to me that she realized what she had done and was trying to make it up to you. She obviously didn’t realize how distressed you were about it all.

If you call her, I think you may make a very valuable friend who can help you get into RCIA and get some other helps along the way.

I get distracted by stuff like that too sometimes and especially so since I pray most of my Rosary in Latin. (just because…) I just offer it up as suffering and keep going and I’m like you, I’ll pull out my “cheat sheet” in a heartbeat.

Hang in there my friend!
The peace of the Lord be always with you.

 

[Trishie]

The truth is that you are a lot ‘smarter’ than you think. You have a wisdom that God gives you so that you are aware of truth before you even know the right questions. This has been obvious. We are priveleged to have you wish to join us…God bless you and your daughter, and your husband, Trishie