My only advice is that are always consequences from immoral acts. Just make sure that you do not have any children that you are not taking care of and that you have a clean bill of health, no STDs. After that do not discuss your sexual past with a potential partner until you get to the serious part of the relationship and when you do that do not get into the specifics, anyone that would ask for specifics might have a morbid curiosity that is not a solid base for a good relationship.
I do not find Cristiano’s response to be harsh. God’s moral laws are not whimsical. If a person is raised to be chaste until faithful in a monogamous marriage, the chance of STD’s, fatherless children, or unmarried parents, and other serious complications will diminish. Moral laws cooperate with nature.
The problem is that our present society thinks that “cooperating with nature” means acting on sexual impulse without thought to future physical and emotional safety, and without thought to future children and future generations. (Chlymidia, for example, also can render one sterile if not treated in a timely manner) Refer to nature and you will see that the young survive best with both parents alive, close, loving, and interacting. Acting on a sexual whim, with condom, contraceptive, or not, can lead more than one person down a dangerous spiritual, psychological, and physical path.
Of course God knows all of this and thus we have our moral laws. Following these laws will not kill us; ignoring these laws might kill us. My brother died of AIDS. He was a good person but he ignored moral laws in his personal life. Not all who ignore moral laws will contract an STD, but society pays a price anyway. Disrespect and disconnection are two examples of moral results of sex outside of marriage–has anyone seen Hugh Hefner lately? Very disconnected. And he still has a magazine and club to promote that disconnection.
What I ask is how does one learn to foster a chaste life in themselves and in their children when society has so de-valued virginity (did one of the previous posters use the term “freakin’ virginity”?) . A virgin used to be seen as virtuous; now it’s seen in some circles as some kind of neurotic disability if you are a virgin over the age of 15!!
When one turns their back on their own and another’s sexual integrity they are often led there by others: parents, friends, community. If they never learned to respect their own sexuality in a truly full manner, if no one ever taught them to be chaste, how could they be fully accountable in their sin?
To have erred is a problem but to walk away from sin, beg God’s forgiveness and increase understanding and valuing of chastity is a sane and respectful thing. Those who have fallen away but found their way back can often give others a great gift in learning how to continue to value God’s laws. That was all my brother could give.
To the OP: if you have these feelings that are “bugging” you, you certainly are already educating others that your present regrets are reason enough for others to stay on or seek a solid moral path of chastity.
My favorite metaphor of the difference between sex outside of a marriage and sex inside of a marriage is this: Outside of marriage, sex is a forest fire; within a sacred marriage, sex is a blazing fire in a fireplace. You do not deny the natural power of sex with that statement–you just put sexual nature in a saner and safer context. If you can put some of your regrets into promoting the “fireplace”, then you probably won’t be so haunted by your past.
I was just defending the woman who most likely did lead the OP to sin.
