Son wants to be protestant

[theamari]

My 15yo son has informed me that Catholicism doesn’t “do it” for him and he wants to worship in a protestant church instead. We went to a funeral in a non-denomenational church, and he really liked the preaching and singing. I suggested that we look for a more charismatic Catholic Mass, but he wasn’t interested. He says if I don’t allow him to worship in a protestant church, I’m making him lose his faith. What is my responsibility as a Catholic parent in a situation like this?

 

[Samuel63]

A 15-year old is just what my son is now. My son was amazed with the validated miracles of Fatima. We got into this and then watched all the Excorcism movies. There are about five of these out now. It was fun. The depiction of the devil in these shows got his attention. I have Gabriel Amorth’s books “An Excorcist Tells His Stories I, and II”.

We read a book called Eucharistic Miracles and have The Incorruptables by the same author - Joan Carrol Cruz.

Anyway, getting into miracles and the supernatural was fun and kept him growing in the faith. I recommend the latest few Excorcism movies during the month of October.

On the other hand, many of our catholic parishes are lukewarm, filled with dissent, and the heresy of Modernism. This makes the faith rather dull. You need good preaching and this only comes from orthodox priests and parishes.

Boy’s retreats and campouts are available throuth Miles Christi - www.mileschristi.org. These guys rock! They are totally orthodox, incredibly smart, and all pretty young. My son and I just came back from a Day of Recollection tonight. It was a nice event.

We read together the daily readings at home in the morning also. If you can, get a daily roman missal. I believe Midwest Theological Forum makes one. I have an older version from them. It is very good.

Stay far far away from the feminized, lukewarm, dissenting, and modernist youth groups and parish activities. These programs are doing a lot of damage today.

 

[MidnightSun12]

I think your son’s reasons for going to church in the first place need to be fundamentally addressed. As catholics, we attend mass not because we find the community or the Priest’s homilies to be inclusive and uplifting, we attend mass because the Catholic church is Christ’s one true church and it is our greatest asset here on earth to help us reach heaven.

You should get your son to ask himself the following question: Would you rather go to a church that has a nice choir or would you rather go to a church that can get you into heaven? It needs to be made clear that it is, in fact, considerably more difficult to find salvation through a protestant denominaton then it is through the Catholic church. Your son is taking a tremendous risk with his soul and you need to emphasize to him just how serious this decision is.

God bless. My prayers are with you here.

 

[JaneBennet]

I don’t think I can give advice, but I can give the perspective of someone raised in a Protestant home, that left church, then returned to a non-denominational church, and luckily found my way to Mass shortly afterward.

What has drawn me toward Catholicism has been the sacraments. In a Protestant church, especially one more liberal leaning, someone will have a harder time finding a place where they even have communion on a semi-regular basis. And of course, as we all know, it has a totally different meaning there.

I also found a lot of the time, the sermons tend to focus on the epistles and Church building as opposed to a centrally strong focus on Christ and His message at the very core. I know it probably seems like I am making this up but it is my particular experience. The Catholic focus is about taking it out into your life. Mass isn’t just a worship experience or service like you will find in the Protestant tradition. So, perhaps explaining these things would help. I don’t mean to indict all Protestants, but I felt unfulfilled from the experience for many years. Also, maybe it is the case that he can do some reading to give him a deeper understanding of the Mass as he is getting closer to adulthood. I have done a lot of reading as of late and have come across some great books while I have been considering RCIA.

 

[JaneBennet]

I think your son’s reasons for going to church in the first place need to be fundamentally addressed. As catholics, we attend mass not because we find the community or the Priest’s homilies to be inclusive and uplifting, we attend mass because the Catholic church is Christ’s one true church and it is our greatest asset here on earth to help us reach heaven.

You should get your son to ask himself the following question: Would you rather go to a church that has a nice choir or would you rather go to a church that can get you into heaven? It needs to be made clear that it is, in fact, considerably more difficult to find salvation through a protestant denominaton then it is through the Catholic church. Your son is taking a tremendous risk with his soul and you need to emphasize to him just how serious this decision is.

God bless. My prayers are with you here.

I understand what you are saying. But I would caution going the heaven/hell route when comparing the Catholic Church to Protestant faith traditions. This kind of talk is what turned me off from religion totally as a teenager and young adult.

I do very much agree that the reasons for going to Mass are an issue to be addressed. We go to Mass to worship our God for the everlasting sacrifice of Christ. We are united with Him and through sacramental grace take Him out into the world with us to do His work here on earth. We are the members of His body; He reigns through us. We are to work and serve to bring God’s will to earth as it is in heaven. The sacraments are gifts given to us by God to help us in this process and they are very important in one’s life. Walking away from this kind of viewpoint would I think be more difficult.

 

[anp1215]

Unlike what a poster above said, orthodox Catholic youth groups DO exist.

If there is one in your area such as Lifeteen, check it out, meet with the leaders, and see how it seems to you. Your son might like that.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

My 15yo son has informed me that Catholicism doesn’t “do it” for him and he wants to worship in a protestant church instead. We went to a funeral in a non-denomenational church, and he really liked the preaching and singing. I suggested that we look for a more charismatic Catholic Mass, but he wasn’t interested. He says if I don’t allow him to worship in a protestant church, I’m making him lose his faith. What is my responsibility as a Catholic parent in a situation like this?

Are you his mother, or his father? If you are his mother, get his father involved. He needs to get involved in his son’s faith life as soon as possible. No, do not let him go Protestant. It may take years for him to come back, and some never do. Get him involved in men’s activities at an orthodox parish. Watch “Crossing the Goal” on EWTN for an example of a men’s ministry.

 

[robwar]

I have 2 teenage boys, 17 and 14. Let me ask you if he is involved in alter serving, If not having him involved in that may help him to be involved in the mass. Also, if he is confirmed he can serve in other capacities such as usher, Eucharistic minister and even lector. If we don’t have our children involved in just the basics such as mass, they may be just sitting there, rather bored and and more seemingly exciting Protestant Churches will come along and snatch them up. Is there a youth ministry at your parish or at least one close by? Even if it is just more social, if your son has friends at church, he will less likely want to leave. Since he still lives at home with you, you need to let him know that he has to attend with you at the Catholic church and don’t let drive him drive to the Protestant Church he wants to go to. At 15, he can’t go anywhere unless you drive him. Again, if he isn’t involved in the church especially at mass, try to have him start. Good luck and you are in my prayers.

 

[lumenchristi]

I think your son’s reasons for going to church in the first place need to be fundamentally addressed. As catholics, we attend mass not because we find the community or the Priest’s homilies to be inclusive and uplifting, we attend mass because the Catholic church is Christ’s one true church and it is our greatest asset here on earth to help us reach heaven.

You should get your son to ask himself the following question: Would you rather go to a church that has a nice choir or would you rather go to a church that can get you into heaven? It needs to be made clear that it is, in fact, considerably more difficult to find salvation through a protestant denominaton then it is through the Catholic church. Your son is taking a tremendous risk with his soul and you need to emphasize to him just how serious this decision is.

God bless. My prayers are with you here.

So are you saying that Christians of other denominations will not go to heaven? In my personal opinion as a Catholic, I believe a person with good merits who loves the God in creation will be reunited with the One True God in heaven. Becuase I haven’t been and come back to say so, I cannot tell for fact, but I do believe God loves all humanity. I believe also, that most people don’t realize we as Catholics believe in the same God that Jews, and Muslims believe in, calling Him Yahweh or Muhammed, and worshipping Him differently don’t discount His authenticity.

The LORDS Blessing and Peace ,
lumenchristi

 

[robwar]

So are you saying that Christians of other denominations will not go to heaven? In my personal opinion as a Catholic, I believe a person with good merits who loves the God in creation will be reunited with the One True God in heaven. Becuase I haven’t been and come back to say so, I cannot tell for fact, but I do believe God loves all humanity. I believe also, that most people don’t realize we as Catholics believe in the same God that Jews, and Muslims believe in, calling Him Yahweh or Muhammed, and worshipping Him differently don’t discount His authenticity.

The LORDS Blessing and Peace ,
lumenchristi

The issue for a 15 year old boy may be that he hasn’t been involved in the church and sitting there bored and a seemingly more exciting Protestant service come along and snatches them up. If we don’t have our children involved and participating in our faith even at the most basic level they will go if bored or lonely or tired.

 

[gigi4747]

This is no doubt a multifactorial problem, and hard to address in an online forum, but one thing that comes to mind is that situations like yours arise in part because we’ve lost our reverence for the Eucharist. Non-Catholic Christians do often have great preaching, etc, but we have the Eucharist. We don’t need gimmicks, props, celebrity speakers, or even good preaching (although that would be nice), because we have the Eucharist.

Part of it too sounds like it’s about your particular family dynamics. In our house, going to Mass on Sunday was non-negotiable (thank You, God), however much anyone groused about it. I don’t think I’d let him blackmail you, ie, you’re “making him lose his faith” by not letting him go to a nondenominational church. You’re his parent and the one who will answer one day for how you instructed him. (Have you explained that to him?) Your house, your rules. I’d tell him he can go to whatever church he wants for the preaching, etc, as long as he fulfills his Sunday obligation by assisting in a Catholic Mass as well. In fact, if he does, you’ll almost certainly need to brush up on some apologetics to respond to the misinformation he’ll come home with. It could be a learning experience for you both.

 

[anthony_preston]

Hey,
I understand where your son is coming from. I am a devote Catholic (age 17) that attends a protestant youth group myself. I see the very vague differences when they preach about the bible. I strongly recommend you watch this video and have your son watch this as well. It’s about a former Southern Baptist minister (Michael Cumbie) who converted to Catholicism. It goes through the mass ceremony step by step and explains the significance (and it’s pretty funny). It explains it from catholic and non-catholic perspective and clearly emulates the truth in Catholicism. The links below!!!

catholicmass.co/

God Bless:thumbsup:

 

[theamari]

Thank you for that link, Anthony. That is wonderful!

Thank you all for your responses. My son was an altar server for years, and this change came out of the blue. I have tried to interest him in going to a Lifeteen Mass, but he will not. I’m hoping he is just going through a rebellious phase. Thank you all especially for your prayers!

 

[MidnightSun12]

So are you saying that Christians of other denominations will not go to heaven? In my personal opinion as a Catholic, I believe a person with good merits who loves the God in creation will be reunited with the One True God in heaven. Becuase I haven’t been and come back to say so, I cannot tell for fact, but I do believe God loves all humanity. I believe also, that most people don’t realize we as Catholics believe in the same God that Jews, and Muslims believe in, calling Him Yahweh or Muhammed, and worshipping Him differently don’t discount His authenticity.

The LORDS Blessing and Peace ,
lumenchristi

Thanks for the reply!

Nobody can say for certain how many people are in heaven or hell (all we know is that many are called and few are chosen). What is true, however, is that catholicism is the easiest and most direct route to enter into heaven. The sacraments of reconciliation, the eucharist, and our relationship with the Holy Mother are all powerful weapons against sin and hell that most protestant denominations do not have. Jesus has also clearly said that the gates of hell will not prevail against the catholic church meaning that our moral theology is infallible (which means that any differences in moral theory between the protestant churches and the Catholic church are errors on behalf of the protestant church which can lead its followers astray).

Whether a person goes to hell or heaven, has nothing to do with the fact that God loves us. God loves all of us equally, unfortunately, when a person lives a bad life and their soul is in the state of mortal sin upon dying, there is simply no way that they could exist in a place like heaven. A soul that has rejected God through sin can simply not bear to be in God’s presence. So, through His divine mercy, God sends the sinner to the one place where the sinner can continue to exist (a place that is far away from God’s love…hell). Unfortunately, satan also exists in this place and it is a place of tremendous suffering.

 

[mab23]

I think your son’s reasons for going to church in the first place need to be fundamentally addressed. As catholics, we attend mass not because we find the community or the Priest’s homilies to be inclusive and uplifting, we attend mass because the Catholic church is Christ’s one true church and it is our greatest asset here on earth to help us reach heaven.

You should get your son to ask himself the following question: Would you rather go to a church that has a nice choir or would you rather go to a church that can get you into heaven? It needs to be made clear that it is, in fact, considerably more difficult to find salvation through a protestant denominaton then it is through the Catholic church. Your son is taking a tremendous risk with his soul and you need to emphasize to him just how serious this decision is.

God bless. My prayers are with you here.

are you saying the only way to get into heaven is through the catholic church - because if you don’t know that for a fact why say it?

and i would try to compare and contrast the catholic church with the protestant church - i think the non-denominational churches are more appealing to younger kids because of the bands and singing and the more “lax” approach

 

[joshua_b]

As someone else pointed out, this is a complex issue that is difficult to address in an online discussion forum. I speak as someone who left the Church in my late teens/early 20’s and finally came back.

Does your son understand that the Catholic Church is the Church that Jesus founded and left for us when He was on earth? Does he understand that the Catholic Church is the Church Jesus speaks of in the Gospel. Does he understand that Jesus did leave us a visible Church, that holds the FULLNESS of all Truth, and that Church still survives today through apostolic succession?

I spent many years in Catholic school, and my catechesis was not terrible, but did not include that tenet as the cornerstone. I was never taught the fundamental truth that Christ left us a visible Church. Once the idea that Jesus left us a Church (NOT a bible), and that Church was visible and still in existence, then attemting to discern what Church He left us led me to very few options.

Ultimately, there are only two Christian churches that can claim historical lineage all the way back to the time of the Apostles. I do not know your situation, or your son’s level of chatechesis, but I think it is important to start there. It is imperative to understand WHY it matters what Church we belong to.

 

[AskSeekKnock]

As a college student, I did the same thing. My mother worried herself sick too. I left the Church for more than a decade, was confirmed outside it, married outside it. Then my own children arrived, and God helped me find my way home. Our kids were baptized Catholic and attend Catholic schools. We obtained a sanation so our marriage is now both valid and sacramental. Next month I will be confirmed on Pentecost.

When the prodigal son told his father he was out of there, the father let him go. And when his son returned, he welcomed him with open arms.

The time I spent outside the Church was necessary for me to understand what a treasure the Catholic faith is.

Remain steadfast in prayer, and let your son’s faith journey unwind as God wills it.

 

[Pax2u]

Maybe this isn’t a good analogy, but this is what I have told my children about being Catholic vs. Protestant.

Imagine you are a person who is dangerously undernourished…at the point of death from malnutrition. Some bread and milk will keep you going. However, if you sit down to a 10 course steak dinner with all the trimmings (substitute the wonderful meal of your choice!) each day you will gain all the weight you need and get the nourishment that will most help you flourish.

Same way with religion…yes, you can be a good person and get to heaven as a Protestant. But being Catholic provides everything we could possibly need to help us on our way.

If I can choose between a piece of toast or a big serving of hot fudge ice cream cake, guess which one I want?

 

[dad_o_six]

Maybe you, his father, should take him to various churches on two conditions: 1. That you still meet your Sunday obligation. 2. That you refrain from participating in communion.

I’m not sure why people are afraid of open exploration of the Truth. I find this to be especially endemic to Novus Ordo Catholics.

I think it’s important to communicate that you believe that going to Mass on Sunday is not optional or replaceable. Whether your son continues to follow this expectation into adulthood will be a matter of his own free will and his own properly formed conscience.

It’s also important to get across that Catholics believe something radically different about the Eucharist. Ideally, you could get across that the material and spiritual intersection of reality in the Eucharist (my own words) is a logical necessity and any belief that doesn’t have this intersection is either detached or irrelevant.

We live in a culture infatuated with emotionalism. I think his attraction to Evangelical denominations is likely an attraction to this emotionalism. From that perspective, it might be worthwhile to have a serious discussion of where emotionalism leads a person. In terms of temporal consequences, there is some evidence to suggest that an individual would be better-served by an atheistic world-view than an Evangelical. These emotional Protestants have epidemic rates of divorce and step-families. Anecdotally, my own experience is that Evangelical parents of teens often deal with serious drug abuse and very early sexuality.

Commercial: I left Novus Ordo for SSPX. The demographics in the pews is a flat distribution. They are building a large new seminary because there are plenty of enthusiastic young people (versus Novus Ordo which is dwindling away). The only counter-argument that my former parishioners have is that I am being disobedient. To me, they seem like Pharisees, concerned with the letter of the law while disregarding logic and the law of contradiction. In that respect, I’m with your son–the modern Catholic church is boorish.

Lastly, read about Fatima.

 

[theamari]

Does your son understand that the Catholic Church is the Church that Jesus founded and left for us when He was on earth? Does he understand that the Catholic Church is the Church Jesus speaks of in the Gospel. Does he understand that Jesus did leave us a visible Church, that holds the FULLNESS of all Truth, and that Church still survives today through apostolic succession?

My son has been well catechized. He knows the truth. He refuses to engage in a rational discussion about it.