Son wants to wear chapel veil

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Horton said:
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Xanthippe_Voorhees:
Are you really going to sit here and argue that a two-parent family doesn’t have an advantage over that of a single parent?
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You make it sound as though all single parents have a choice. Not all of us did. I didn’t choose for my husband to die, I didn’t choose to raise my kids alone. It was what happened to us and you do the best you can.

I’d still like to see evidence for your claim. Single parents are at a “severe” disadvantage.
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And none of my friends had a choice, either.

Not having a choice and being at a disadvantage aren’t mutually exclusive. I didn’t choose to go into foster care and be adopted. Even with adoption, I was at a disadvantage. Why are you so adverse to that word?

Here’s an article in a newspaper that pulls data from several legitimate sources and covers the stark differences between dual and single-family homes. However it came about.

 
Horton said:
I’d still like to see evidence for your claim. Single parents are at a “severe” disadvantage.
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I agree with you. Some might be, but so are some two-parent families. Some single parents do wonderfully. Every family is different, I think.
 
You could always suggest wearing a kippah, which is what many boys wear to religious services and some all the time. Jesus would have kept his head covered, especially when worshipping in the synagogue. Start a new trend!
 
I’m not going to argue with you, it’s a pointless endeavor. You have your opinion and I have my actual knowledge of doing it for more than 20 years.
 
Horton said:
I’m not going to argue with you, it’s a pointless endeavor. You have your opinion and I have my actual knowledge of doing it for more than 20 years.
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I did it, too. It wasn’t my choice, either, it wasn’t easy, but we faced no greater challenges than many two-parent families, and my children are terrific kids. Studious and well-adjusted.
 
ComplineSanFran said:
You could always suggest wearing a kippah, which is what many boys wear to religious services and some all the time. Jesus would have kept his head covered, especially when worshipping in the synagogue. Start a new trend!
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He could use a prayer shawl to pray at home, but it is not polite for males to wear hats inside a Christian church. It would not do to teach him that is OK.
 
ConstantLearner said:
Well, I know I’m really in the minority here, but I can assure you, I’m not a vile or hateful person. Still, I find women who wear a head covering in church, other than a modest hat, prideful. I think they want to say, “Hey, look at me. I’m holier than you are.” They have to know they are drawing attention. Second, I think it just looks silly in the US in 2018. (I realize it might be the norm in countries like Spain and Italy, where I’ve seen women wearing the lace mantillas.) It’s not the custom in the US, however. I don’t mind seeing some very elderly women wearing them, though none at my parish do.

Still, it’s not a crime or a sin, and, though I can’t help having negative feelings, I try not to judge the women who want to cover their head. It is, after all, their choice.

But I still think one’s son is far more important than indulging the urge to cover one’s head, when covering one’s head is unnecessary and not the norm in the US today.

Edit: I should have said the above was my emotional reaction. I don’t judge any woman who covers her head or pretend to know what she thinks. I know enough to realize my emotional responses aren’t always right.
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When you feel you need to start out a post with the qualification that you are not a vile or hateful person, think twice, LOL.

You can handle your emotions about the matter (which are neither here nor there) by asking this question:
Is wearing head-covering “other than a modest hat” (whatever that is) inherently prideful or is it not a sin? Those are mutually exclusive possibilities, are they not? Surely choices that are inherently prideful are sins, are they not?

Either it is not a sin
–which case it is rash judgment on your part to find it prideful or inherently attention-seeking behavior rather than, say, minding your business about others choosing to do what is allowed for reasons they do not share with you because they are not under your spiritual direction–

or it is a sin
–in which case it is not OK to tell people that it “is, after all, their choice.” No, you don’t say that someone’s choice to sin is like the choice to wear blue instead of purple.

It is not true, in spite of the common quip, that “in the Catholic Church, that which is not obligatory is forbidden and that which is not forbidden is obligatory.”

Now, it is true that for a particular person this practice might be praiseworthy or not or it might be spiritually profitable or not or it might be spiritually damaging or not. It is fair to be concerned about someone if they do things that would be damaging for you if you were to do the same thing. Of course that would arouse certain emotions in you, and there is nothing wrong with that. It is worth examining the source of our emotions, though. They usually spring from un-examined expectations. When we feel offended, for instance, it is because we felt a right to expect a certain standard of behavior that was violated. In this case, I’m concerned that you fear for others because they do what would be dangerous for you to do, that’s all.
 
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It wouldn’t be damaging for me. I used to have a black lace mantilla and a white lace one that I sometimes wore. I didn’t want to offend anyone, but I think what initially turned me off them was their use in several old horror films I saw. From there, it was all downhill. Didn’t even like lace anything lace.

As I said, the negativity is just my initial emotional reaction. I know it may be totally wrong, and I judge no one who wears one, even though I’d rather see a hat or no head covering at all.
 
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PetraG said:
He could use a prayer shawl to pray at home, but it is not polite for males to wear hats inside a Christian church. It would not do to teach him that is OK.
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I have seen many men wearing headgear inside churches. It is a cultural and preferential thing, nothing more.
 
I agree with the others. Veils are not necessary. It’s just a piece of cloth. You son should feel free to play around with it. He’s 6.
 
It’s not a veil, it never was a veil, it never will be a veil. If you want to wear a veil, become a nun!

Otherwise you are wearing a head covering.

Could we at least get the linguistics right, use correct terminology and give our religious sisters the respect they have earned.

We can’t be a Priests, neither can lay males, they can’t wear Priestly robes. We cannot wear veils
 
The veil is only part of a religious habit which may also include a tunic, scapular or apron. Different habits have different components.
 
That would be the whole outfit.

No it’s not silly, it’s important. We use words to communicate. We use words so others understand us.
And win scrabble.
 
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ConstantLearner said:
Still, I find women who wear a head covering in church, other than a modest hat, prideful. I think they want to say, “Hey, look at me. I’m holier than you are.” They have to know they are drawing attention. Second, I think it just looks silly in the US in 2018.
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Have you ever spoken to a woman who wears a mantilla? How can you make such a judgement based on your own perceptions of what you think this head covering represents and transferring these motivations onto a stranger?
 
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Brendan_64 said:
Have you ever spoken to a woman who wears a mantilla? How can you make such a judgement based on your own perceptions of what you think this head covering represents and then transfer these motivations onto a stranger?
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Yes, I have. Several, in Europe and the US.

It’s not a judgment. See post #160.
 
OK fair enough.

I know two ladies who are the only people in each of their respective OF parish churches who wear mantillas. Both are quite young woman, but they are both gentle, kind, pious ladies. I do not believe that either of them wears a mantilla out of as wish to make a show of themselves. They also take their faith very seriously and at times I feel in awe of their devotion. I believe them to be ladies who just want to practice their faith quietly and bring up their children to value piety, prayer and devotion.
 
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ConstantLearner said:
I think they want to say, “Hey, look at me. I’m holier than you are.” They have to know they are drawing attention.
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I had the opposite notion years ago. I thought I was seeing a kindred spirit, someone orthodox, someone humble.
We’re both wrong.
 
Brendan_64 said:
I know two ladies who are the only people in each of their respective OF parish churches who wear mantillas. Both are quite young woman, but they are both gentle, kind, pious ladies. I do not believe that either of them wears a mantilla out of as wish to make a show of themselves. They also take their faith very seriously and at times I feel in awe of their devotion. I believe them to be ladies who just want to practice their faith quietly and bring up their children to value piety, prayer and devotion.
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Okay, I take you at your word. Thanks.
 
Bruised_Reed said:
I had the opposite notion years ago. I thought I was seeing a kindred spirit, someone orthodox, someone humble.
We’re both wrong.
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Do you care to share what you see now? I’d like to know. If you don’t want to, I understand.
 
I just see another Catholic woman, one who is discovering or re-discovering traditional devotions, novenas, etc., and most likely loves the EF (some people love a High Mass but for me a Low Mass is where it’s at).

People have been wrong about me. I made a simple request at a past parish home, for a little Latin; maybe the Sanctus with minor 5th harmony. Please? Even without a manilla, I was directed to a nearby SSPX chapel. I know I pulled a face and blurted out, “I’m not a rad trad.” LOL
I know we’re rare but I’m one of a few who is equally at home at a TLM or a Charismatic Mass. It takes a kinds. That’s all.
 
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