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Anglewannabe
Guest
Well… in that case, student 3 should be taught that once an issue is dealt with, to drop it
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Allegra
Guest
There’s a lot of kids that should be taught that. Unfortunately, going to another adult for attention when the first one doesn’t give the attention you want is pretty common with kids in kindy and 1st grade. 2nd grade is a little late for that behavior, but this student is new this year.
J
jlc2k2
Guest
How you handle it with your 3 yo is how I normally handle my kids. But, playing devil’s advocate, that wasn’t the case for the other teacher. The other teacher didn’t know that student 1 hadn’t done anything wrong. That’s where I get into a conundrum with my kids. What do I do when my only witnesses are 5 to 7 years old and all involved?
That said, I still think the other teacher handled it wrong because it was an incident in your classroom so she should have talked to you first. Because there was a reliable, impartial witness in this case who was in the real position of authority.
P
pensmama87
Guest
Yes, this is what I do. Even if they don’t feel like it, my kids are made to apologise for wrong actions. I think the comparison to confession up thread is apt.
I think part of the problem is we say “I’m sorry” both to accept responsibility and to express sorrow, eg. “I’m sorry for your loss.” I do express sympathy for other people feeling bad, but that doesn’t mean I’m accepting responsibility for it. I think maybe sometimes those wires get crossed.
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mommy_k
Guest
Ha!
In the school I volunteer at, all these little ones would be in trouble…
No talking out loud when lining up or in line. Period.
No apologies necessary.
In the school I volunteer at, all these little ones would be in trouble…
No talking out loud when lining up or in line. Period.
No apologies necessary.
K
kwitz
Guest
I think we need to make a better distinction (all around, not just in the classroom) about the difference between “sorry” and “apologizing”. I can be sorry you stubbed your toe but I don’t have to apologize unless I put the block in your way that you stubbed your toe on.
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Allegra
Guest
I’m not sure she was fully aware of precisely where it happened or whether or not I had seen it. It was one of those changing of the guard moments. I don’t feel that she stepped on my toes, and our school has a culture of teachers supporting one another. I was just sort of weirded out by her insistence that this child apologize for something that didn’t even happen, just because another child was upset. In my opinion, the upset child was wrong to be upset and should have stopped being upset once he found out that no one was calling him names.
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Allegra
Guest
I see your point. However, I sort of feel like the condolences-for-your-discomfort sorry is optional, while the taking-responsibility-for-my-actions sorry is not.
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Allegra
Guest
At the end of music class, the student have to work together to put up the Orff-estra to get the breakable things out of the way for kindy kids. Each kid is assigned a certain job and some of them take longer than others. Some of the tasks involve some verbal communication. Of course, the line has to be silent before they leave, but this happened when some of the kids were already in line and others were finished putting the instruments away.Ha!
In the school I volunteer at, all these little ones would be in trouble…
No talking out loud when lining up or in line. Period.
No apologies necessary.
J
jlc2k2
Guest
Ah. I see. I think this turned into a he said/she said from the other teacher’s perspective then. Bobby is saying Jane called him a weirdo. Jane says she didn’t say that.
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mommy_k
Guest
They all would still be in trouble.
If it happened here, the child practicing the word would have been asked to become silent, as it was not task related.The other student should not be allowed to cause disruption by backtalking, and continuing…silence would be reminded once.
Whoever does not follow direction and continues would be in detention, perhaps both.it’s about what you establish, not the students or another teacher to determine how you manage your class and enforce.
The sisters at the school I volunteer at taught me a few things.
P
pensmama87
Guest
I would agree. Based on your clarifications, I could see the teacher just wanting to get the situation over with as soon as possible. Your thread actually brought to mind a couple of times when I got in trouble for things at school I didn’t do, or that were very much misunderstood. On one occasion, another child was deliberately trying to get me falsely in trouble, and that stung for a long time, especially since it worked. But now I can look back on it and know the teacher was just trying to do her job. And I learned to avoid that kid.
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Allegra
Guest
Sounds like a lovely place.They all would still be in trouble.
If it happened here, the child practicing the word would have been asked to become silent, as it was not task related.The other student should not be allowed to cause disruption by backtalking, and continuing…silence would be reminded once.
Whoever does not follow direction and continues would be in detention, perhaps both.it’s about what you establish, not the students or another teacher to determine how you manage your class and enforce.
The sisters at the school I volunteer at taught me a few things.
I don’t have a problem if students have a reasonably quiet conversation while they are cleaning up the room. Eventually, children have to learn how to communicate with one another appropriately, and they can’t do that if they are never allowed to communicate. I expect them to speak to one another kindly when they have this freedom. I never have any problems getting the students to be quiet once it’s time for the class to leave the room and go into the hall. If I wanted to work in a monastery or prison, I would.
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mommy_k
Guest
Yes it’s lovely place…and I agree that a Catholic school enviornment is not for everyone.Sounds like a lovely place.
Best of luck with your class problem concerning these little ones.
R
Rico_S
Guest
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mommy_k
Guest
What?I just agreed with what she said.
It sounds like a prison to her, and it’s not for her. So i agreed. Should I have disagreed?
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Anglewannabe
Guest
Another scenario, kids who are caught doing something wrong will often lie and say ‘I didn’t do it’. Perhaps this teacher being unaware of the details incorrectly assumed student 1 was lying. After all, I know even adults who would purposely say ‘geero’ if they though it was hurting me because I thought they were calling me ‘weirdo’. Maybe this teacher though student 1 was being a smarty pants pushing student 2’s buttons
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Allegra
Guest
She might have. She hasn’t known the students long, since the school year just started. I’ve had all of them except the winey guy before. He’s new to the school. She’s one of these “perceptions are reality” enthusiasts though. It’s a phrase that is thrown around a lot in education. It’s supposed to mean that a student’s perceptions are their reality, not that their perceptions should be reality for everyone. When I spoke to her about it, she was okay that I had let the student go out, but she explained that in her room, the policy is that everyone has to apologize whether they meant to hurt someone or not. She’s going to have a long year.
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Anglewannabe
Guest
yeah, she will have a long year. On the one hand she is saying that student 3’s perception is NOT everyone’s reality yet she is making student 1 apologize because of student 3’s perception
Sounds like a contradiction.
Sounds like student 3 will just learn to wait until he is in her class to tatle
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Allegra
Guest
Well, maybe the teacher will change her policy when she gets tired of listening to all the tattle tellers in search of a coerced, insincere apology.yeah, she will have a long year. On the one hand she is saying that student 3’s perception is NOT everyone’s reality yet she is making student 1 apologize because of student 3’s perception
Sounds like a contradiction.
Sounds like student 3 will just learn to wait until he is in her class to tatle
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