I think I addressed a fair bit of what you said/asked already, from psychological points of view.
People live what they learn. The Cycle of abuse, perpetrated by parents, friends, neighbors, Society, the Medical model of “Psychiatry” treating bodies, rather than Beings.
You seem to be looking for an answer no one can actually just ~give~ you, to the extent that are we immortal souls, with material bodies, or are we dependent on our existences for the bodies we wear?
That’s my interpretation of reading through your previous posts. Feel free to define it clearer/differently after this post.
My answer is Yes, we are immortal souls that can exist (they do, and we will, when we’re done here), made in the image of God, and God expects, hopes and Wills for us to live as Christ taught. You use Pagan as part of your religion, for the forums. Have you studied other cultures and religions more than just one or a handful? Most religions understand that there is a Spiritual world beyond this one, not the just visible material one we all see and share.
I have Schizophrenia, and have survived just about every kind of abuse as a child, and some as an adult as well. I can Cope with the voices and things I sometimes see, without medication, because I understand things at a Rational Scientific level. “random noise” in my mind, in the parts of the brain that translate sound and vision, interfering with my normal sight and hearing, such that these things seem to come from Without, and only I can see them, because they probably come from Within (in the brain) and that’s ~why~ only I can see them… and then dismiss them as “figments of imagination” to a large degree.
From that, rather than learning how to be a slave to the conditioning I grew up with, behaving like an animal and carrying on that cycle, rationalizing and excusing my behaviors, I Chose to Think about the things I survived, forgiving my step-father, when I was a teen, for example, because I understood the kind of person His father was, and so on. I also had read a fair bit of the Bible and plenty else besides by then, too (the “sins of the father”, to 7 generations idea from the Bible), but we all have to start with what we have, when we decide/choose to “own” our own life =)
However… and I’m sure there’s plenty of Atheists who believe the universe “simply happened” and there are no gods, or spiritual nonsense of Any kind… that would tell me my Spiritual experiences are also, just “figments” when I would say otherwise. But hard to share ones subjective experience with folks who either don’t have, deny they have, or rationalize away such things.
People think only in the dimensions they’re familiar with much of the time. People Live and Exist in the Material world, time space, matter energy, the forces that hold it altogether, etc… Mathematically, and in our imaginations, we can understand more dimensions than that. Enough that even if there ~were~ no God (or gods) there likely eventually ~would~ be, if this were the first “accidental” creation to exist with the properties to create life that could think and act of it’s own volition… and such a God would probably become a lot more than just the Universe, imbuing “itself” through all of creation, Material, Spiritual, and beyond.
Buddhist understood a Multiverse long before Science came up with the idea, more recently. Hinduism starts from the concept of One god, and then 3, and then, all the others. They still only have “One” God. All the other “gods” are more akin to aspects of that One, similar to the way a Christian might describe God’s Attributes, just using a different vernacular.
So it would seem that God existed well before we did, or after, or both… The Alpha and The Omega, The Beginning or The End… and yet, we’re still here, living lives, in accordance or not, to the Will of God, as we choose.
I think it’s pretty clear that a great Many people from Many cultures and religions understood God (or the gods) to be quite certainly Real, and Experienced communion with God, to varying degrees… and over time the “messages” have been refined. Christ has one of the most clearly defined, down to earth ways I’ve ever read, even in plain mistranslated to English, examples of how to Exist in Union/Communion with God, as we live our own self-driven lives, depending on how much we allow God to lead us, in our own ways, or His(Hers, Pagan
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).
So Ultimately, I think you’re gonna have to find the answer you’re Seeking for, yourself.
Or… you could just Ask God =)
Asking Nicely, for answers that you need/want, and taking the care to understand, you may not always “like” them as much as you thought
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It all works out, though, In my experience.