Spinoff thread: Large Families and One Bag Minimalism

[jmjZelie]

Bitterhope,
I am so glad to see that you get what I am talking about! You said it beautifully.

Xantippe,
My husband got that Kindle deal! That is their Christmas this year: Kindle, cover, and content. One for each child old enough to operate a tablet and use learning apps. Sandra Boynton and Olivier Dunrea (our favorite authors for toddlers) even have books on Kindle!!!

EasterJoy,
We lived out of our luggage for a month when we first moved to SoCal. When the moving van arrived and we saw a truck full of stuff, we were aghast. We pitched half of it. We took a ton of stuff to the dumpster area and a man came in his pickup truck and just started loading up his truck with everything we brought out. He apparently is the man who handles trash service here and he happened to be there with a pickup truck and so he took everything that could be reused and promised to find a good home for all of it. So we had gotten rid of half before we moved, we got rid of another half after we moved, and we are getting rid of another half now. We are aiming to get back to that “living out of luggage” feeling. Not quite as minimal as backpacking through Europe, but still living lightly.

On another note,
I just got of the phone with some family. They are desperately poor and using food pantries and SNAP allowances and many other forms of welfare to survive. They are sick and disabled and unable to work much, and they are raising a young child (they adopted a baby of a relative) and they are caring for other family in their home. THAT is poverty, and yet, they are still joyful. They have asked for some help to purchase groceries and a special Christmas present for the child. We are going to be able to help because we are working very hard to live below our means and live simply and minimally. I am thankful for that and for the lessons that God is teaching us so we will be more free to respond when called upon. I like being so mobile and not having a mortgage and learning how to not need stuff or services to maintain a certain lifestyle. It makes me happy, and my family too.

 

[bitterhope]

That is amazing! I’m very glad to know that there are such good people striving for holiness in this world. Deciding to live just for today is such a joyful life. Focusing on what good can I do, rather than what more can I get, brings us closer to heaven. May God continue to bless you and your family with peace, joy, and togetherness this Christmas, and for eternity. You are an inspiration!

 

[jmjZelie]

Focusing on what good can I do, rather than what more can I get, brings us closer to heaven.

I did not know this! That makes me happy to hear.

May God continue to bless you and your family with peace, joy, and togetherness this Christmas, and for eternity.

Thank you. God bless you and your family, too, bitterhope.

This year has been one of dramatic changes and at least attempting radical conversion to Christ’s teachings. We asked ourselves where God was asking us to go and what He was asking us to do and how to live. We focused repeatedly upon Jesus’ answer to the rich young man who wanted to be perfect, and how he went away sad. My husband and I have had long discussions about what we can do to fulfill Jesus’ directions to sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, even as we must maintain a household and provide for the needs (including educational) of our children. Week by week we have baby stepped our way into His will, and the few crises moments this year have clued us in to when we got off the path and need to retrace our steps and find His will again and rest there.

bitterhope,
Your comments in this thread have reminded me of the deeper purpose behind all of this, and has strengthened my resolve to keep going. God is preparing us for something, something for which we would not have been ready a year ago. It is kind of frightening and exhilarating at the same time, as we work through this process and follow God’s will for our family. I keep wondering what is around the next bend in the path, but I know that I would be terrified of God showed me that much of the journey at once. So I am going to continue in obedience and diligence during this time, and ask God for the courage to face what comes next!

 

[mafh]

So this past year our family has sold or donated or given to friends or thrown away 75% of our stuff. We have settled on a minimal wardrobe and bare essentials kitchen. Now we are working toward one-bag minimalism, where each person has one piece of luggage for personal belongings: books, clothes, and toys. They will also each have one backpack for all their homeschool materials. I will follow suit with one teacher’s bag. Although I will keep a couple banker’s boxes of curriculum to use with subsequent children, especially religion and science and social studies. We are more than halfway to this point already.

Now, my husband comes from a wealthy family, so toys are a real problem. We still have some massive toy sets from years ago (Legos, Playmobil castles, Lincoln Logs, Thomas trains, etc) and we need to figure out what to keep and what to donate or give to friends.

So, my question is, imagine you were going to be nomadic and live a one-bag lifestyle. What would be important for you to keep in your bag? And what kind of toys would you consent to lugging around for your kids, especially if you have a wide range of kids. What would you be willing to let go of easily, with no regrets?

P.S. I think I should mention that this lifestyle choice is not an end in itself for us, but is a means to a greater end.

This site is geared more towards travel, but you might find www.onebag.com helpful. It’s goal is for a person to be able to travel indefinitely living out of only one bag weighing 22 lbs or less.

 

[jmjZelie]

This site is geared more towards travel, but you might find www.onebag.com helpful. It’s goal is for a person to be able to travel indefinitely living out of only one bag weighing 22 lbs or less.

Hey that is cool! Thanks, I will check that out!

 

[gardenswithkids]

…I know that not everyone will understand the push towards a minimalistic lifestyle, and I am not saying that anyone else needs to do it for themselves. I was just looking for some feedback on which of certain types of things to keep and which to let go. I hope that those who find it odd to deliberately choose to have less than one can afford, in order to be able to do better things with the spare time and money, and in order to make a large family lifestyle function in practice and not just in theory, can just give me the benefit of the doubt here…

I love the spiritual aspect of the thread discussion, but I’m going to bring back the shallowness of home decorating.

For those worried about lack of creativity with less stuff, I recently was at a pricey boutique where they were selling Christmas decorations of stars made out of sticks and glue for $20and up. I don’t know about where you live, but where I come from, sticks are plentiful, so my kids could create something like those that without me having to spend more than :twocents: on glue. That boutique also had a sign that mentioned something about “Up-Cycled Chic”, which (except for the high price tags) looked a lot like children’s crafts made from whatever’s lying around the house. Same boutique was selling drinking glasses from jam jars, but I saw almost the exact jar, but with jam in it selling for less at a hardware store. Since Zelie’s family now lives near the ocean, they have access to the ever-popular sea-shell, which if you have looked around recently is another hot trend in decorating. Sticks, rocks, sand and shells–plus a bit of glue and some creativity can fetch high prices.

More fun home decorating on the cheap since Zellie’s looking to get rid of some Legos, Legos can be glued together and used as a kitchen backsplash and other furniture (like headboards for beds and tables.) An image search on the internet turns up lots of interesting and useful stuff. Maybe some of your children older children can assemble their old Legos into something that can be sold for profit or given away as a Christmas gift to the people who first gave them the Legos. Just a thought, but since you were talking about giving them away, it’s something to consider. Maybe they could assemble a small end table and sent it back to the grandparents who originally gave them the Legos as Christmas gifts.

:hammering:

 

[alphawoman]

I guess I’m the odd person out.
As an artist and musician, I find the lack of toys and creative stimulation (building blocks and such) to be really sad and depressing. Kids need a creative outlet.
This requires “stuff”.
Children are small for such a small amount of time. I encouraged my children in creativity. They played store, Mass, and all kinds of things, but the “stuff” that others saw as clutter was fodder for their creative minds and activities. We had a blast. Now that they are grown I have a few very sentimental items. I’m purging all the time…but this thread makes me sad. I tend to look at the world through the lens of a child…( I guess because I work with children all the time).

Yes, there seems to be a critical mass of ammunition children need to launch off a given theme and create their own world. For children under 6, particularly, play is so centered on the tangible. I would be mindful, in your cull, to prioritize keeping toys and materials for the youngest in your family. They need it to develop creative thinking, problem solving skills, and innovate.

My son, for instance, is constantly building inventions with materials sourced from various kits/sets and would have dramatically less ability to implement his grand plans without some props. I keep many different building sets on hand (Tinker Toys, Blocks, Meccano, Lego, Magformers, the list goes on…) and accumulated sundry building materials because DS spends 90%+ of his free play time combining them to make his own inventions. He has literally made about eleventy thousand different specifications of lightsabers using flashlights, tape, blocks, magformers, aluminum foil, duct tape (I should invest in a tape company!), string, flyswatters,…you name it. He designs intricate systems, sources his materials, oversees construction, and then tests and refines whatever he makes. There’s tremendous pride for him in being able to have the autonomy to create, and that would be impinged by having his materials taken away.

 

[jmjZelie]

Just a quick update:
We have been hard at work paring down our lifestyle and I am pleased both with our progress in minimalism and with the way it has sparked out creativity. We have all been doing more creative and productive activities, including arts and crafts for the kids, and sewing and paper crafting for myself. Having a smaller stash of craft items and a more wide open space to do creative activities has given us permission to be more creative, and unapologetically.

Also, we have decided to transition to a partly furniture-free lifestyle. We have gotten rid of the dining room table and chairs, and have opted to use tiny low tables that we can push together for a dining surface for the family, or can be used for individual work like lessons or Legos or crafts. But we sit on the floor, not a chair. We are contemplating selling our sectional sofa, too, and transitioning entirely to a no-chair daily lifestyle (although we would keep a couple small but nice folding chairs for guests who need them). We got rid of our bed, and now the kids are clamoring to get rid of theirs too. The mattress on the floor is working beautifully. We already banished the TV and its cabinet. We keep the TV in a closet in case we desire to watch a movie, but we got rid of the cabinet and the TV never gets left out anymore.

I think that is all the changes pertinent to this thread for now. We had previously, at various times, lived without a bed, or a sofa, or a TV, or a dining set, but now we are putting it all together. The kids love the accessibility of my lap when I sit on the floor with them, and they are increasingly happy with the positive effects that these lifestyle changes are having upon their mother and their home. We talk often about the freedom to do more fulfilling things, when we are not bound to take care of so many possessions.

I am very thankful that my husband and I started out our married life as poor college kids. It taught us a lesson which we almost forgot, that we are happiest when we are not attached to stuff and when we are free to say yes to people and experiences because we purposefully say no to buying and owning stuff. I am glad we remembered this lesson before our oldest children were too much older to be adventurous about life, and became content being surrounded by clutter. This year has been a wonderful wake up. From the cross-country move, to the downsizing of our lifestyle, to the short but serious bout of depression. We started to question EVERYTHING.

Anyway, thanks for reading and for those who offered feedback before. God bless you all this Christmas season!

 

[CradleJourney]

So, my question is, imagine you were going to be nomadic and live a one-bag lifestyle. What would be important for you to keep in your bag? And what kind of toys would you consent to lugging around for your kids, especially if you have a wide range of kids. What would you be willing to let go of easily, with no regrets?

P.S. I think I should mention that this lifestyle choice is not an end in itself for us, but is a means to a greater end.

To be honest, I’ve thought about this quite a bit recently (even before I saw your posts) - and as attractive as the idea is, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s just not “me”. In a fantasy world, I’d be a lore-master…with shelves of books, troves of artifacts, etc., rather than a quester … heading out with just my bag ready for quests and adventure.

That said, having 8 people living in less than 1,000 sq ft, I’ve had to be rather judicious in controlling my horde.

For toys it’s a classic case of the classics - if it has batteries, it usually goes fairly quickly, while things like Legos are forever (even my 17yr old will break them out to test a design idea now and then).

“Friends” (be they stuffed or plastic - with or without real hair) must always be allowed on any journey But like real life, we can only have so many “friends” - so I try to keep a cap on the number of stuffed animals and dolls (though the youngest does seem to acquire new ones from thin air).

For me, truth is I’d probably be willing to get rid of most useful and needed things (like the entire contents of my kitchen) well before I’d part with a book or one of my handful of figurines.

I guess it’s just a case of a totally different journey/calling smile We relish and thrive in clutter (though it needs trimmed periodically - like the three trash bags of old paper I got rid of today) while your family is obviously relishing and thriving in a minimalist adventuring style.

 

[Sophie_Lawrence]

I was curious, if you have discussed this minimalist approach with a spiritual advisor?

I was actually reminded of this thread when reading another one on physical mortification. Some religious practice this but only with permission of a spiritual advisor. You seem to be purging a great deal.

I hope it’s ok to mention

 

[Kelfa28]

Me personally?

Couldn’t do it, I wouldn’t be able to function and it would just add stress and anxiety.

Call me crazy but I love my “stuff” and think people are weird for purging it.

We like having guests over and I look forward to curling up on my nice sofa to watch a movie after a long day with the girls and I look forward to my wonderful and comfortable bed.

My husband and I are anti-clutter people.

We purge stuff that isn’t used on a regular basis. We have a collection table in the basement of things we don’t use anymore and will make regular trips to the Salvation Army with old toys, appliances, home decor and other things we never use. We donate clothes to Catholic charity regularly.

Are house is usually neat and tidy because we don’t let things clutter up, the girls know how to clean up after themselves and hubby and I always do our regular cleaning each night plus an additional room like the bathroom, our room, the playroom, living room and so on.

But lose my bed, dinning room table and sectional? My kids’ beds and their lovely toys they enjoy so much? The TV?!?!? My computer?!?!?!? What?

No, no thank-you.

I would be out of my mind within a day and wouldn’t be able to recover.

 

[HopenHappiness]

Kelfa28 I am with you, I love my things and my house. We moved and up-sized from a 1054 sqft to 2100 sqft (just my hubby and I) and it has brought us and family and friends so much joy. Before we use to entertain and were all squished like sardines. Now we have a wide open space and can accommodate at least 8 extra people comfortably over extended periods of time. Not to mention we can celebrate with at least 20 people for the day.

Our house has become an exploring place to all our Nieces & Nephews ranging in ages from 6 months - 33 years old. The older ones have brought their kids because it is a learning place. I have the old toys and games that they never have seen. My grand nephew growing up amid the gaming golden age, would come and play a pinball like game from the 1940’s for hours. My great great niece is playing with toys my son played with as a baby. I would be very sad without my possession, everything I own has a cherished memory to them, and get new memories everyday. So when I am very old and gray, lots of people will have great memories because of my things, as well as I will.

Also my house is the only house everyone plays by the rules of a cell free zone willingly. Our TV comes in very handy to show the slide shows of the last gathering or pictures of gatherings they couldn’t attend, or just to show pictures of the family.

And to the person who brings out the china for just for Thanksgiving and Christmas. You need to bring them out more often, you need to create memories where your kids / grand-kids will want them because of those memories. Same with any other Family Heirloom, and if something breaks, don’t worry there is the internet and most anything can be replaced.

 

[jmjZelie]

To be honest, I’ve thought about this quite a bit recently (even before I saw your posts) - and as attractive as the idea is, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s just not “me”. In a fantasy world, I’d be a lore-master…with shelves of books, troves of artifacts, etc., rather than a quester … heading out with just my bag ready for quests and adventure.
.
.
.
I guess it’s just a case of a totally different journey/calling smile We relish and thrive in clutter (though it needs trimmed periodically - like the three trash bags of old paper I got rid of today) while your family is obviously relishing and thriving in a minimalist adventuring style.

I love this post! I love your concept of a lore-master vs. a quester! That is so apt! Thank you for sharing your story. I really enjoyed your feedback.

 

[jmjZelie]

I was curious, if you have discussed this minimalist approach with a spiritual advisor?

I was actually reminded of this thread when reading another one on physical mortification. Some religious practice this but only with permission of a spiritual advisor. You seem to be purging a great deal.

I hope it’s ok to mention

No, I don’t have a spiritual advisor. Yes, we are purging a great deal, but our focus is upon what we want to keep and then letting go of anything that isn’t either useful or beautiful to us.

This is not like physical mortification, because there is no pain involved and we are actually making ourselves few more comfortable and happy through this process.

But I truly appreciate your kind concern. God bless you, Sophie!

 

[jmjZelie]

By the way, we kept our mattress, just not our bed frame. We kept our TV, but in a closet and we just bring it out a couple times a weekend. We kept my laptop computer and we all have kindles. So we have fun and educational technology available to us (sometimes too available!).

We still have our sectional sofa, for now. We are getting used to floor sitting though, since we do so for arts and crafts and lessons and dining. So we will see how we much we use it. We would always keep some chairs for guests, no matter what, though. But floor sitting has been a huge success for our family, so we feel silly for waiting a decade before we finally acted on our instincts and got rid of the table and chairs.

I discovered that there is a small movement of people advocating a partly furniture-free lifestyle, just yesterday while I was using Pinterest. Apparently, our instincts to use the floor and low tables or standing activities is shared by others as well. That was nice to see.

I am now reading a wonderful book called The Happy Minimalist. If there is anyone reading this thread who is interested in this lifestyle for themselves, I recommend this book and his YouTube video on “extreme minimalism”. Our family really enjoyed his video and have watched it multiple times and I am enjoying his book as well (on Kindle, so no clutter!).

Oh, and one more thing that I have been thinking about. I have an old friend, who is my polar opposite. She loves knick knacks and collections and not only covers every table and bookshelf with her little treasures, she also has had special shelves made to hold her collections. They are everywhere in her house. When we lived in the same town, I enjoyed going to her house because it was like a museum. She enjoyed taking care of her collections (she even had a Pez dispenser collection with a special shelf for them!). But I loved even more going back to my own home, where the counters and tables were COMPLETELY cleared and the bookshelves were perfectly straight and organized. Two different ways of living, both perfectly suited to the person who lived there. We could each appreciate each other’s preferences, but we could never live in each other’s homes. This is very much like CradleJourney’s comment of lore-master vs. quester.

 

[pianistclare]

Me personally?

Couldn’t do it, I wouldn’t be able to function and it would just add stress and anxiety.

Call me crazy but I love my “stuff” and think people are weird for purging it.

We like having guests over and I look forward to curling up on my nice sofa to watch a movie after a long day with the girls and I look forward to my wonderful and comfortable bed.

My husband and I are anti-clutter people.

We purge stuff that isn’t used on a regular basis. We have a collection table in the basement of things we don’t use anymore and will make regular trips to the Salvation Army with old toys, appliances, home decor and other things we never use. We donate clothes to Catholic charity regularly.

Are house is usually neat and tidy because we don’t let things clutter up, the girls know how to clean up after themselves and hubby and I always do our regular cleaning each night plus an additional room like the bathroom, our room, the playroom, living room and so on.

But lose my bed, dinning room table and sectional? My kids’ beds and their lovely toys they enjoy so much? The TV?!?!? My computer?!?!?!? What?

No, no thank-you.

I would be out of my mind within a day and wouldn’t be able to recover.

Agree. Totally.
Not to mention it’s all well and good when everyone in the house is healthy.
But the world does use dining tables, and people with arthritis need chairs and a raised bed. Infirmed people too.
I just wonder what in the world is prompting this extremism?

Does the OP somehow believe she’s avoiding “worldly notions” to get rid of everyday items? How does that make one holier? Sure kids think it’s cool to live like it’s a tree house, but still…
Good luck to you OP.
It would never be an option for me. Not on a practical nor intellectual level.

 

[jmjZelie]

Agree. Totally.
Not to mention it’s all well and good when everyone in the house is healthy.
But the world does use dining tables, and people with arthritis need chairs and a raised bed. Infirmed people too.
I just wonder what in the world is prompting this extremism?

Does the OP somehow believe she’s avoiding “worldly notions” to get rid of everyday items? How does that make one holier? Sure kids think it’s cool to live like it’s a tree house, but still…
Good luck to you OP.
It would never be an option for me. Not on a practical nor intellectual level.

In case you missed it, I mentioned that I would be keeping some small, but comfortable chairs. We still have the sectional sofa, but ironically, it is studiously avoided by those in our extended family with back problems because it is too soft. We also have a raised (and super comfortable) air mattress for visitors who will be sleeping over at our home. Hospitality is incredibly important to us. Before our cross-country move, we regularly hosted people in our home. Guess what everyone did? They ignored the sofa and stood at the counters in the kitchen, and stood outside and sat on the floor. Seriously, that is what they did. Now we have moved nearly 5000 miles away, and we are only hosting family visitors for a while, until we build up our social circle here. But we do not want to furnish our home for the sake of what other people want to see in our home maybe someday.

We still have plenty of supplies for creativity, which I have mentioned more than once in this thread. I do not look down upon people who want to have more stuff (including furniture) in their homes. I just don’t want the same things. Neither does my husband.

I don’t think I can make this all make sense to you, because you seem to have had a strong negative reaction to my thread. I would never say this lifestyle is for everyone, but I do think that this makes sense for us. If you had any questions about what or why we are doing this, I could try to answer, if you like.

But ultimately, this is about finally living in a way that makes sense for my husband and I. These are concepts that we have experimented with in bits and pieces for about 15 years, maybe longer. So now we are putting it all together. Through our personal life experiences, and due to our temperaments and circumstances, minimalism and simple living and choosing NOT to own as many things as other people in our state in life is what makes sense for us. Anyway, that is my attempt to give a preliminary explanation. I think that if you were to see our home, you would probably just come in and find your choice of seating and join the party and not really think about what we choose not to have, and you would have fun! It is probably not really noticeable or relevant to others that we don’t have a bed frame, or that we have a low dining arrangement like many families do around the world. We are far more peculiar for having five children than for what we don’t own.

 

[CradleJourney]

I love this post! I love your concept of a lore-master vs. a quester! That is so apt! Thank you for sharing your story. I really enjoyed your feedback.

Your welcome! Glad it struck a positive note with you

 

[ThePCWife]

The minimalist by choice life is just trading one kind of dependency and first-world wealth for another.

 

[pensmama87]

The minimalist by choice life is just trading one kind of dependency and first-world wealth for another.

I suspect this is why I couldn’t do it. My family cannot afford to be minimalists. I have to stockpile certain things because there is no guarantee that if a genuine need were to come up, we could afford to pay whatever the current price is. Because I watch price trends and hold onto things, I have a lot more purchasing power than just buying things as I need them.

I’m all about no clutter and buying only what you need or will use. I grew up in a hoarder house and that environment was toxic. But you bet I use underbed storage containers for my linens, so my linen closet is an extension of my pantry.

People have always saved things, and I think that’s OK.