Spiritual Direction

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Christbearer03

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Hello all. I might starting getting spiritual direction from a priest over the phone to try and get my scrupulosity under control. Now, my question is what kind of stuff should I be talking about with my spiritual director besides giving him questions? Should I ask for advice, good tips, ask about Church teachings, etc? I should be taking the lead when I speak with him, right? I am sorry if I sound dumb.

Thanks all, and may God bless you! May our Blessed Mother always protect and be with you!
 
Christbearer03 said:
Hello all. I might starting getting spiritual direction from a priest over the phone to try and get my scrupulosity under control. Now, my question is what kind of stuff should I be talking about with my spiritual director besides giving him questions? Should I ask for advice, good tips, ask about Church teachings, etc? I should be taking the lead when I speak with him, right? I am sorry if I sound dumb.

Thanks all, and may God bless you! May our Blessed Mother always protect and be with you!
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Pray to the Holy Spirit for guidance right before each SD meeting, and put your sessions in Our Lady’s hands. Take some time the day before your session to think about the things you want to talk about and then when you are on the phone, you can let it aaaalll out. Normally, the directee does most of the talking. The director is kind of like a sounding board and advisor. He will ask you questions about where you are in your spiritual life, what’s going on in your prayer life, where you are struggling, where you are doing well. Hopefully he’ll help you grow in holiness in general and overcome whatever spiritual difficulties you have. You can focus your sessions on one particular issue (scrupulosity, vocation, etc.) but I’d still take the opportunity to have him help you overcome other areas of sin that are difficult for you.

If he doesn’t offer, you can always ask him what would be good spiritual reading for you.
 
GaudentAngeli said:
Pray to the Holy Spirit for guidance right before each SD meeting, and put your sessions in Our Lady’s hands. Take some time the day before your session to think about the things you want to talk about and then when you are on the phone, you can let it aaaalll out. Normally, the directee does most of the talking. The director is kind of like a sounding board and advisor. He will ask you questions about where you are in your spiritual life, what’s going on in your prayer life, where you are struggling, where you are doing well. Hopefully he’ll help you grow in holiness in general and overcome whatever spiritual difficulties you have. You can focus your sessions on one particular issue (scrupulosity, vocation, etc.) but I’d still take the opportunity to have him help you overcome other areas of sin that are difficult for you.

If he doesn’t offer, you can always ask him what would be good spiritual reading for you.
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But I feel like I might just be asking questions almost the whole time. Can I also just ask the priest for advice and tips based on my questions?
 
Christbearer03 said:
But I feel like I might just be asking questions almost the whole time. Can I also just ask the priest for advice and tips based on my questions?
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He’ll know what to do. No worries. Yes, ask questions, but be aware that he will pend a good deal of time counseling you once he gets a feel for your level of scruples.
God bless you.
 
Christbearer03 said:
But I feel like I might just be asking questions almost the whole time. Can I also just ask the priest for advice and tips based on my questions?
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Yup, that happens sometimes. In my own SD sessions sometimes I talk a lot and other times I’m pretty much asking questions, sometimes very simple Catholicism 101 questions. Every session is different, and that’s okay! Make sure that from the get-go your director knows you want to focus on your scrupulosity issues, then if your mind blanks and you don’t know what to say, then tell him you’re nervous. He’ll help you, he’ll know what to do. Your SD is sometimes the best person to ask for advise and tips on various things. But he needs to know who you are and what you’re struggling with so be prepared to tell him your background – not just regarding your spiritual life, but your family and what you spend your time doing etc because all that is important if he’s to fully understand why you are the way you are.
 
Christbearer03 said:
Hello all. I might starting getting spiritual direction from a priest over the phone to try and get my scrupulosity under control. Now, my question is what kind of stuff should I be talking about with my spiritual director besides giving him questions? Should I ask for advice, good tips, ask about Church teachings, etc? I should be taking the lead when I speak with him, right? I am sorry if I sound dumb.

Thanks all, and may God bless you! May our Blessed Mother always protect and be with you!
Click to expand...
I have one book and one pamphlet I would recommend: Journey to God by Daniel Burke (on Spiritual Direction) and a pamphlet/small book Making the Most of Spiritual Direction by Antenio P. Villahoz. The book especially is good and answers your questions…yes, you do take the lead. My director wants me to come with things I am in prayer (discussion with the Lord) about. You must have this relationship with Jesus first and share what He is leading you in thoughts/actions. What areas you are struggling with and why? What does it seem He is showing you about this? Etc. etc. But…we are all different in our walk with Jesus so no one person is the same:) (Praise God for our uniqueness!) First time ask him about how direction could be…so many levels of direction. Basically we want to deepen our relationship to Him and therefore bring our Lord glory in all we are and do to help others come to Him in a fuller way. I will pray for you!
Blessings in Him,
mlz
 
Talk about whatever you want. You can obey him if you like. If he disagrees with the church though, like contraception say, “Contraception is a good thing, and you should use it,” If he says that- or anything that disagrees with the church, then let him be anathema.
 
mlz said:
I have one book and one pamphlet I would recommend: Journey to God by Daniel Burke (on Spiritual Direction) and a pamphlet/small book Making the Most of Spiritual Direction by Antenio P. Villahoz. The book especially is good and answers your questions…yes, you do take the lead. My director wants me to come with things I am in prayer (discussion with the Lord) about. You must have this relationship with Jesus first and share what He is leading you in thoughts/actions. What areas you are struggling with and why? What does it seem He is showing you about this? Etc. etc. But…we are all different in our walk with Jesus so no one person is the same:) (Praise God for our uniqueness!) First time ask him about how direction could be…so many levels of direction. Basically we want to deepen our relationship to Him and therefore bring our Lord glory in all we are and do to help others come to Him in a fuller way. I will pray for you!
Blessings in Him,
mlz
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Thanks for the book recommendations. Those sound like they are worth reading.
 
Update: I have to continue looking now for a spiritual director. I will probably try my local monastery next. Any thoughts on this?
 
Christbearer03 said:
Update: I have to continue looking now for a spiritual director. I will probably try my local monastery next. Any thoughts on this?
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The link I provided gives helpful steps on finding and selecting an SD and what to look out for.
 
Casilda said:
The link I provided gives helpful steps on finding and selecting an SD and what to look out for.
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Wow, this is a great website. Thank you!

I have another question for you and everyone else here.

If I do eventually get a spiritual director, I would really just want it to stay between my mother and me. I do not really want to tell all my family. Is that okay?
 
Christbearer03 said:
Wow, this is a great website. Thank you!

I have another question for you and everyone else here.

If I do eventually get a spiritual director, I would really just want it to stay between my mother and me. I do not really want to tell all my family. Is that okay?
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Of course it’s OK. You can tell who you want or not tell.
Why would you think that you have to share this with the world? 🤷
 
Oneofthewomen said:
Of course it’s OK. You can tell who you want or not tell.
Why would you think that you have to share this with the world? 🤷
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I think I might have had a thought that I could be denying my faith. But, you are right.

The problem with me and getting spiritual direction is I cannot drive yet. There is a counseling center in my town, but I really want to get a spiritual director. I might just have to find a priest that I can work with over the phone, because that might be my only solution. I realize that it would not be ideal, but at least it would be something.
 
Christbearer03 said:
I think I might have had a thought that I could be denying my faith. But, you are right.

The problem with me and getting spiritual direction is I cannot drive yet. There is a counseling center in my town, but I really want to get a spiritual director. I might just have to find a priest that I can work with over the phone, because that might be my only solution. I realize that it would not be ideal, but at least it would be something.
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Spiritual direction is not counseling.
There can be a counseling component, but most SD’s will tell you up front they are not mental health counselors.
In many cases, especially cases involving scrupulosity, a SD may recommend that you see a mental health professional as well.

As far as spiritual direction over the phone, I am not sure that is the best option. What you really need to do is speak to your own priest, who knows you, and ask him to help you find the right director.
 
Oneofthewomen said:
Spiritual direction is not counseling.
There can be a counseling component, but most SD’s will tell you up front they are not mental health counselors.
In many cases, especially cases involving scrupulosity, a SD may recommend that you see a mental health professional as well.

As far as spiritual direction over the phone, I am not sure that is the best option. What you really need to do is speak to your own priest, who knows you, and ask him to help you find the right director.
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I will have to ask my priest, but I’m not sure how many priests in my area will be able to speak good English and help me, as I belong to the Ukrainian Catholic Church. There is one priest that I know that could help me. Again, I would have to rely on my mother to drive me to meet with the priest.
 
Christbearer03 said:
I will have to ask my priest, but I’m not sure how many priests in my area will be able to speak good English and help me, as I belong to the Ukrainian Catholic Church. There is one priest that I know that could help me. Again, I would have to rely on my mother to drive me to meet with the priest.
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Just because you are a member of the Ukrainian Catholic Church doesn’t mean that you can’t go to a Roman Catholic (or any other particular church for that matter) priest for spiritual direction. I’m sure that there are a plethora of Catholic priests in your area who you could go to for direction.

Just throwing out some ideas! God bless you! 🙂
 
Richard_White said:
Just because you are a member of the Ukrainian Catholic Church doesn’t mean that you can’t go to a Roman Catholic (or any other particular church for that matter) priest for spiritual direction. I’m sure that there are a plethora of Catholic priests in your area who you could go to for direction.

Just throwing out some ideas! God bless you! 🙂
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There is a priest from a local Byzantine Catholic Church that I might try to contact. That priest does know me, so maybe that will be a good fit for me.
 
Christbearer03 said:
There is a priest from a local Byzantine Catholic Church that I might try to contact. That priest does know me, so maybe that will be a good fit for me.
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That sounds like a good idea.
I will mention that before I moved back here to my hometown where our Maronite parish is, I received spiritual direction from a Roman Catholic priest. He was very helpful.
 
Update: I found a priest that I trust that I will be working with for at least a little while. It is not the most ideal situation, but at least it is a start and something for now.
 
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