Spiritual Director

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I saw a program on EWTN recently wherein the participants stressed the need for every Catholic to have a Spiritual Director. I find this very confusing.:confused:

First, where would a person even find a spiritual director? Many parishes have only one priest - generally a Diocesean - which means he needs to be paid for his time. Every Catholic cannot afford to pay a priest for individual spiritual direction.

This seems also to be a favorite topic on CAF - the need for a spiritual director. Posters mention it as though you just went to your parish rectory and the priest was at your disposal.:rolleyes:

I think that being able to have a spiritual director is not something that the majority of Catholics would be able to afford, even if they could find a Priest willing to do it.

:knight1:
 
I can’t answer the question. It’s obvious that there aren’t enough priests to go around for that. How about consecrated religious or deacons?

I think we need a LOT more deacons than we have.

Might be a good time to mention what we all probably presume, that all spiritual direction consultations should be absolutely confidential.
 
As a lay-person you don’t need a personal spiritual director. I can understand deacons, priests and bishops needing spiritual directors, but not ordinary members of the laity. We have the Holy Mass, the Sacraments, the Teachings of the Church, the Catechism, the Bible, and we have the Holy Spirit to guide us. We no more need our own spiritual director than we need our own psychiatrist. Personally I think it is a rather self-indulgent to think that we need our own ‘professional’ to guide us and listen to our troubles and woes. We are responsible for ourselves and we have the Holy Spirit to guide us (if only we listen) that should suffice. How did the generations before us survive without spiritual directors, shrinks etc? I personally don’t know a single lay-person who has a spiritual director, perhaps it is more common in the USA?
 
Brendan_64 said:
As a lay-person you don’t need a personal spiritual director. I can understand deacons, priests and bishops needing spiritual directors, but not ordinary members of the laity. We have the Holy Mass, the Sacraments, the Teachings of the Church, the Catechism, the Bible, and we have the Holy Spirit to guide us. We no more need our own spiritual director than we need our own psychiatrist.
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St. Francis de Sales, in the classic Introduction to the Devout Life disagreed with you. 🙂 You can read what he had to say about the subject by following this link: catholicspiritualdirection.org/devoutlife.pdf

Chapter IV (which starts on page 18) is entitled: The Need of a Guide for Those Who Would Enter Upon and Advance in the Devout Life.
 
babochka, thank you for your response. I have not read the St. Francis deSales book that you mentioned; but, I will.

It still begs the question. Where does one find a spiritual director and how can an ordinary Catholic lay person even afford to pay such a person?🤷

:highprayer:
 
Carmelite1 said:
babochka, thank you for your response. I have not read the St. Francis deSales book that you mentioned; but, I will.

It still begs the question. Where does one find a spiritual director and how can an ordinary Catholic lay person even afford to pay such a person?🤷

:highprayer:
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Have you approached your priest or deacon? I asked my priest if there was someone he would recommend as a spiritual director and he said ‘yes, ME, that is part of my role’ and he did not set firm guidelines around how often to meet, that was up to me. He sees me at mass weekly and sometimes daily and at confession. He promised if he ever thought I was backsliding (as I did years ago)he would call me on it. (that was my main concern). It is up to me to study the catechism, partake in study groups in the church and nourish my faith. It seems that not that many ask for direction as you might think and your priest or deacon may welcome that role.
Can’t hurt to ask.
 
hi, i like EWTN programs; and i do recall some time passing when the same EWTN advised-to have a personal spiritual director-and that must have been years ago, they must be still doing that; topics of informative shows can be expanded upon; i also thought, by first impression, it is not realistic…or the trouble a person would have to go about it; but indeed-i once had a spiritual director in my diocese, a Jesuit priest…likewise.then, as a younger man-i was forward to demand attention…i did slip him a 20…but to be more sincere-the spiritual advise on prayer-i have remembered for over 25 years, some years not understanding it, until recently-when it all made sense…a very good value on the dollar…This did not include sacrament, just advise in an office, advise on prayer and discernment of spirits. Interesting, in hindsight, is that the priest showed an uncanny way to have figured me out-matching me with the right advice…(any book may not be a puzzel that fits need and advice ); there is the human/soul factor/then there is the topic of the neighborhood priest- to find to have the possibility of a good confessor (perhaps as substitute for a chaplin/spiritual counselor;) the topic grows as any one confessor seems to match better than another-so seems…generally, catholic retreat houses have a chaplin-or some one available to talk. Monasteries have the same option: I guess the other side of the topic: don’t be too clingy or dependent on them if yo u find one…i suggest that even though the idea from EWTN seems exagerated (with a shortage of personnel)-it is better than the quandries psychiatrist’s couch…(God is good!) thx patrick:
here is a quote by Fulton Sheen…
“All our anxieties relate to time… The major problems of psychiatry revolve around an analysis of the despair, pessimism, melancholy, and complexes that are the inheritances of what has been or with the fears, anxieties, worries, that are the imaginings of what will be.”
―Fulton J. Sheen
Source/Notes:
Sanctifying the Moment in Lift Up Your Heart (1950)

Read more at izquotes.com/quote/266507
 
Carmelite1 said:
I saw a program on EWTN recently wherein the participants stressed the need for every Catholic to have a Spiritual Director. I find this very confusing.:confused:

First, where would a person even find a spiritual director? Many parishes have only one priest - generally a Diocesean - which means he needs to be paid for his time. Every Catholic cannot afford to pay a priest for individual spiritual direction.

This seems also to be a favorite topic on CAF - the need for a spiritual director. Posters mention it as though you just went to your parish rectory and the priest was at your disposal.:rolleyes:

I think that being able to have a spiritual director is not something that the majority of Catholics would be able to afford, even if they could find a Priest willing to do it.

:knight1:
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Ok, I didn’t realize a priest was supposed to be paid for his time. I’m confused. Can someone please clarify this for me?
Thanks.
 
Sahara_DeSert said:
Have you approached your priest or deacon? I asked my priest if there was someone he would recommend as a spiritual director and he said ‘yes, ME, that is part of my role’ and he did not set firm guidelines around how often to meet, that was up to me. He sees me at mass weekly and sometimes daily and at confession. He promised if he ever thought I was backsliding (as I did years ago)he would call me on it. (that was my main concern). It is up to me to study the catechism, partake in study groups in the church and nourish my faith. It seems that not that many ask for direction as you might think and your priest or deacon may welcome that role.
Can’t hurt to ask.
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I would start by finding a good regular confessor. I know that there are many here who will argue that confession is not the time and place for spiritual direction, but many saints (including St. John Vianney and St. Alphonsus disagree). A confessor who knows you well and offers good, solid advice can certainly serve for spiritual direction, especially in the beginning of your journey. Ask around about good confessors. They often have reputations. 🙂 If you can’t get a good recommendation, I would just try confession with several different priests until you find a good fit. Seek out priests who schedule frequent confessions and hear many; they tend to have a great love for the sacrament. Once you have established a relationship with a confessor who is holy and devout and gives good direction in confession, you might venture to ask him if he would meet with you for more intense spiritual direction.

If you have Opus Dei in your area, you might start by attending a recollection. Opus Dei priests offer good spiritual direction in confession and are usually available at other times for more direction. This is without charge.
 
I have been in regular spiritual direction for about 7 years. I have had a few. A couple were diocesan priests, who told me flat out that no payment was required or expected, as it was already part of their “job”. I had a lay woman guide me through the 19th Annotation of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, and I payed her a small stipend, that we agreed upon in the beginning, because it is a big undertaking, she has to take continuing ed credits to keep her certification current, and I am of the firm belief that if one “pays” for something, even a token amount, one is more likely to take the advice/direction more seriously than if they had nothing “invested”.

My current spiritual director is a deacon. He does direction as part of his ministry, and therefore does not require any payment. If any of his directees wish to give him a stipend, he donates it to a mission in Central America that his parish sponsors.

Most of the people I know who “charge” for services, and it ranges from $25-$65 per hour, are lay people. Most of them have backgrounds in social work and or psychology and have retired from their secular jobs and now do spiritual direction and give retreats. Of the ones I know that charge, none would turn someone away who would benefit from their services if the person could not pay.

With that out of the way, I have to say that spiritual direction has been a great gift to me. My directors, while all very different, were the perfect fit for me at the time. I have grown and matured in my faith. Spiritual direction helps me to see where God is working in my life, and where I am working against God. My director keeps me accountable, helps me to see things from a different perspective and have given me some very sage advice, which has done nothing but strengthen my relationship with God and the Church.
 
Priests are paid a salary. I don’t know where you get that you’d have to pay a priest for spiritual direction. Ask your pastor if you can schedule a meeting once a month or so for spiritual direction, tell him what kind of things you’d like to discuss. If he won’t be available to you, find another priest in another parish. It’s not all that complicated, really.

-ACEGC
 
BLP said:
Ok, I didn’t realize a priest was supposed to be paid for his time. I’m confused. Can someone please clarify this for me?
Thanks.
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I don’t believe so, especially if it’s your own pastor, who is responsible for your soul.

My priest is my spiritual director, and I don’t pay him. He has never requested anything, and I doubt he’s even allowed to. I do pray for him and have Masses offered for him, but I do it all in secret. I have read books that state that charging for spiritual direction is a big no-no, as it changes the relationship and makes it difficult for the spiritual director to remain unbiased if the directee is a source of revenue for the director.

I don’t think everyone needs a regular spiritual director. I have one because I am discerning a vocation. Our priest doesn’t offer regular spiritual direction to people who aren’t discerning a vocation. His rule is direction only once every three to four months.
 
edward_george said:
Priests are paid a salary.
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Not in most dioceses in the UK, they’re not. They receive a very small weekly ‘food allowance’ (which hasn’t risen since the mid 1980’s and wouldn’t actually feed them at todays food prices) and then what they receive is down to what the parishioners donate to them in the Easter and Christmas Sunday collection. Priests rely on what parishioners donate voluntarily for baptisms, weddings, funerals and saying Masses for specific intentions. If people didn’t donate voluntarily to priests when they carry out specific services then our priests would be living in abject poverty.

Yes, pastoral care is part of the priest’s role (as is administering the sacraments) but if we didn’t give the priest a donation (depending on what we can each afford) for carrying out such services specifically for us, then the man couldn’t afford to live. It’s not about a priest’s ‘job description’ or us receiving ‘value for money’, it’s about what we can afford to donate to support our priest.
 
Deo_Gratias42 said:
I don’t think everyone needs a regular spiritual director. I have one because I am discerning a vocation.
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I’d agree with that. Those seriously discerning a vocation do need specific directing, as though those already ordained.

The trouble with lay-people (who aren’t discerning a vocation) seeking a spiritual director is that it can be seen as some sort of ‘spiritual therapy’. I think it’s a product of a culture where people feel they need therapists, when what is going on in their lives (secularly and spiritually) is nothing more than the ordinary, ups and downs, troubles and woes, that have been going on in the lives of most people since man first walked on the earth. Talk to God, talk to your spouse, talk to your family, talk to your friends, talk to yourself, that’s what people have been doing for thousands of years.
 
I don’t think read spiritual direction can be compared with therapy. i have been in direction with the same priest for 17 years. He understands what is going on in my spiritual life better than I know myself. He challenges me, confronts me, encourages me, and sometimes chastises me. I feel I have grown tremendously in my relationship with God. The director just doesn’t listen to problems and woes, he or she offers a voice to discernment of the Spirit working in a person’s life.

Not everyone needs a spiritual director that might be true, but for those of us involved in ministry it is essential. People in ministry need to be ministered to. Spiritual direction is an intimate relationship with a person whom you put your complete trust in to help you discern God working in your life.
 
I would have thought you could get a type of spiritual.direction just by having a regular confessor - would that be the same thing?
 
You can ask your pastor to be your spiritual director. If he isn’t able to do it, he might be able to refer you to someone else.

I have gone for spiritual direction and have found it to be tremendously helpful. There have been times when I felt that I needed that kind of help.

When I first went, I had a nun as a spiritual director, and I was referred to her.

When I went again, my pastor at the time, was my director.
 
Joannm said:
Not everyone needs a spiritual director that might be true, but for those of us involved in ministry it is essential. People in ministry need to be ministered to. Spiritual direction is an intimate relationship with a person whom you put your complete trust in to help you discern God working in your life.
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That is so true. My SD always gives me good counsel for the ministry I am in. Since my SD moved away I only see him a few times a year. Each time I discuss with him about the programs and concerns of my ministry. I always receive wise advice from him. It is a true blessing.
 
I agree with most people posting. It probably is not necessary unless 1. You are discerning a vocation to the priesthood or religious life, or you are considering one, 2. You struggle with a specific sin that greatly damages your relationship with God, 3. You are going through some sort of crisis, or 4. There is some other reason that would require meeting with a priest on a regular basis.

If you do the math, there are 78 million Catholics in the U.S. There are less than 40,000 priests. This would mean every priest would have 1,950 regular people coming to him for spiritual direction. Even if you cut down the number of Catholics (because let’s face it, statistics show only 25% go to Mass every Sunday), we are still talking close to 500 people per priest. That just isn’t possible, unless there is an increase in vocations to the priesthood - a very large increase.
 
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