Spiritual Director

[Brendan_64]

Why do elite athletes need coaches?

Are those who go to spiritual directors the equivalent of ‘elite’ spiritual athletes?

 

[Casilda]

I believe they are. I believe I am because I am broken and need spiritual advice.

 

[babochka]

Are those who go to spiritual directors the equivalent of ‘elite’ spiritual athletes?

Sometimes. Mostly they are just the ones who realize that they need help in achieving holiness and are willing to seek it. They want to become “elite” spiritual athletes.

 

[paperwight66]

The priest in our parish says he couldn’t possibly find time if everybody suddenly wanted to go to confession say every week or even once a month.
800 people at three minutes each = 2,400 minutes or 40 hours.
I dread to think what his reaction would be if he was expected to find time for all those wanting him as a spiritual director.
Even at only 10% of the parish = 80, needing what? An hour each?

 

[InLight247]

What path God calls a person on his spiritual journey is up to God.
How a person responds to God’s calling is up to the person.
Before anyone decides how to respond to God’s call, he must first be willing to listen to God, and know how to hear God.

Spiritual direction is for those who have strong desire to enhance their spirituality and believe someone more knowledgeable can help them. Spiritual direction is for those who want to reach holiness and have the humility to be guided. It is also for those who serve in church ministry.

God may or may not call a person to spiritual direction. Debating if spiritual direction is necessary is pointless.

Most Saints had spiritual directors. Their spiritual directors helped them on their way to high sanctity. No one can deny good spiritual companions and guides help us on our journey to God.

 

[Brendan_64]

I dread to think what his reaction would be if he was expected to find time for all those wanting him as a spiritual director.
Even at only 10% of the parish = 80, needing what? An hour each?

And then to find that, on giving his time, many of these were in fact actually after spiritual ‘counselling’ or a ‘listening ear’. As if priests aren’t overworked enough as it is.

 

[edward_george]

And then to find that, on giving his time, many of these were in fact actually after spiritual ‘counselling’ or a ‘listening ear’. As if priests aren’t overworked enough as it is.

Some priests do have a lot on their plate, it is true. And some don’t. The reason why? A priest is not forced to take on any more than what is just sort of basically required of him. He might have certain expectations from the Bishop, and of course there’s the regular schedule of Masses in his parish. But I’ve known priests who spent countless hours counseling people in spiritual direction and visiting the sick and preparing for homilies and teaching, etc., and others who devote very little of their time to things outside of Mass and perhaps sick calls on occasion. The latter is certainly a sad case, but the fact of the matter is that in a parish, a pastor, while he will be fairly busy, has control over his own schedule, and can take as many or as few meetings as he wants. If someone was going through a rough time in their life and needed some spiritual direction–for the benefit of having another’s perspective, or the mature opinion that comes from someone who has been formed for the priesthood–I see no reason why that should be discouraged, particularly if Father is interested in living up to his own title.

Here at the seminary, there are 200 men. Over 2/3 of them have spiritual direction with priests in house, and the others have it with nearby parish priests, if they so choose. One of our spiritual directors has about 70 directees, and another has 50 or so. This means they’re taking meetings daily, with guys going to them every two weeks or so for direction, and this on top of classes and other institutional responsibilities. A pastor of an average sized parish will not necessarily have the same amount of people seeking him out for spiritual direction, and if he did, he’d certainly be able to make time once in a while, at least monthly. I don’t understand why one should discourage lay people from seeking counsel from their priests. That’s what priests are there for.

-ACEGC

 

[Brendan_64]

I don’t understand why one should discourage lay people from seeking counsel from their priests. That’s what priests are there for.

-ACEGC

I’m not trying to discourage anybody, each to his own and all that, but it is not a form of panacea for spiritual problems. Depending on another person for direction isn’t, in my opinion, healthy. I can see how clergy, and those discerning priesthood and religious life, really would benefit from this, but as lay people we have relatively simple journeys.

I think that it is a symptom of Western culture to over-intellectualise and over-complicate relatively simple issues. This has resulted in the ‘therapy’ culture we see today. When many people experience some difficulty in their lives the inclination is to seek professional counselling, rather than try to use one’s own resources to work through it. Is our society much healthier as a result of the countless therapists that exist today?

 

[edward_george]

I’m not trying to discourage anybody, each to his own and all that, but it is not a form of panacea for spiritual problems. Depending on another person for direction isn’t, in my opinion, healthy. I can see how clergy, and those discerning priesthood and religious life, really would benefit from this, but as lay people we have relatively simple journeys.

I think that it is a symptom of Western culture to over-intellectualise and over-complicate relatively simple issues. This has resulted in the ‘therapy’ culture we see today. When many people experience some difficulty in their lives the inclination is to seek professional counselling, rather than try to use one’s own resources to work through it. Is our society much healthier as a result of the countless therapists that exist today?

You would have a point if spiritual direction=therapy. Sometimes people just need another person to talk things out. That may not suit you and that’s fine. But you can’t go so far as to say that it’s unhealthy to depend on others to work out our problems–sometimes others can see things we can’t in a situation or can help us just sort of sound out what’s going on in our lives. Do you have a group of close friends you can talk to about personal matters, or else family members? Sometimes a phone call to someone like that can be just what you need to get things together. I don’t think anyone’s saying that spiritual direction is a “panacea.” Quite the opposite, it’s one of those resources you mention–one of the resources some people are blessed to have at their disposal is a good trusted priest they can at the very least bounce things off of.

-ACEGC

 

[babochka]

The priest in our parish says he couldn’t possibly find time if everybody suddenly wanted to go to confession say every week or even once a month.
800 people at three minutes each = 2,400 minutes or 40 hours.
I dread to think what his reaction would be if he was expected to find time for all those wanting him as a spiritual director.
Even at only 10% of the parish = 80, needing what? An hour each?

The time needed for spiritual direction can vary. While some go with great frequency, many only seek spiritual direction every 2 or 3 months, or even less often. Not everyone seeks out a parish priest for direction. Often, spiritual direction is sought from someone living in the monastic life. For most people, this would necessitate waiting until one had time to make a retreat or pilgrimage to a monastery. Some need it more frequently during certain periods of growth, and less frequent appointments will suffice at other times. Those priests (and others) who have a gift for spiritual direction will find their time for it in shorter supply, while those who have less of a gift (or a love) for giving direction will not generally be called upon.

 

[MomaMary8]

I’m not trying to discourage anybody, each to his own and all that, but it is not a form of panacea for spiritual problems. Depending on another person for direction isn’t, in my opinion, healthy. I can see how clergy, and those discerning priesthood and religious life, really would benefit from this, but as lay people we have relatively simple journeys.

I think that it is a symptom of Western culture to over-intellectualise and over-complicate relatively simple issues. This has resulted in the ‘therapy’ culture we see today. When many people experience some difficulty in their lives the inclination is to seek professional counselling, rather than try to use one’s own resources to work through it. Is our society much healthier as a result of the countless therapists that exist today?

I’m sorry to be jumping in here, I feel like I’m an interloper But anyway, after reading these threads, there seems to be a misconception about what Spiritual Direction is. It is not therapy to work out ones “problems” but rather guidance to grow in a spiritual life. Just reading the works of the saints can show how even great intellectuals in the Church have grown in their faith over time. (St. Thomas Aquinas is a very good example when you read his works in regards to the BVM.) A spiritual director is someone who can evaluate how you are doing in your prayer life and then push you to do more. They can also see the blocks in our life that we may be too wrapped up in to notice or see. They should help us peel away the distractions and focus on what we need to progress in our spiritual life. We are all on a journey that will hopefully lead to God. It does not matter if our vocation is lay or religious. We are all in need of guidance to help us get there. Jesus left behind the Church for this reason! We need help to sanctify our lives.

If we don’ think there are enough priests to offer SD, then I suggest we all pray for more priests!

BTW I receive my SD from a lay-single person trained in offering spiritual direction. Therapy issues are rarely discussed except to point out if they are impeding my prayer life.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Are those who go to spiritual directors the equivalent of ‘elite’ spiritual athletes?

Some of them, yes; the rest are working up the ranks and can benefit from from spiritual direction.

Sometimes. Mostly they are just the ones who realize that they need help in achieving holiness and are willing to seek it. They want to become “elite” spiritual athletes.

Right. I’m a little surprised no one used the analogy of coach earlier in the thread but spiritual direction is more like coaching than counseling. It looks like counseling because both people are typically sitting down and talking.

An elite runner, skier, swimmer or skater already has the skills and knows correct technique for their sport so why have a coach? A coach can spot issues with timing a stride, a stroke or dropping an arm that throws a jump off balance so they under rotate and two-foot a landing or fall.

In the same way, a spiritual director can note bad habits that are undermining spiritual growth, especially if it is one that some might think it is a little thing. If a woman is very busy running a household, is homeschooling, and doing “all the right things” it might not be easy for her to spot or it might be the very thing that frustrates her and doesn’t know how to turn it around on her own. Her SD can discuss it with her and give her suggestions on how to overcome it, how to put it in perspective, offer encouragement. Unlike a confessor, an SD can mention a previous sin or fault. An SD has objectivity and has the perspective of being outside of that persons mind.

What path God calls a person on his spiritual journey is up to God.
How a person responds to God’s calling is up to the person.
Before anyone decides how to respond to God’s call, he must first be willing to listen to God, and know how to hear God.

Spiritual direction is for those who have strong desire to enhance their spirituality and believe someone more knowledgeable can help them. Spiritual direction is for those who want to reach holiness and have the humility to be guided. It is also for those who serve in church ministry.

God may or may not call a person to spiritual direction. Debating if spiritual direction is necessary is pointless.

Most Saints had spiritual directors. Their spiritual directors helped them on their way to high sanctity. No one can deny good spiritual companions and guides help us on our journey to God.

Yes to all of this.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

I’m sorry to be jumping in here, I feel like I’m an interloper But anyway, after reading these threads, there seems to be a misconception about what Spiritual Direction is. It is not therapy to work out ones “problems” but rather guidance to grow in a spiritual life. Just reading the works of the saints can show how even great intellectuals in the Church have grown in their faith over time. (St. Thomas Aquinas is a very good example when you read his works in regards to the BVM.) A spiritual director is someone who can evaluate how you are doing in your prayer life and then push you to do more. They can also see the blocks in our life that we may be too wrapped up in to notice or see. They should help us peel away the distractions and focus on what we need to progress in our spiritual life. We are all on a journey that will hopefully lead to God. It does not matter if our vocation is lay or religious. We are all in need of guidance to help us get there. Jesus left behind the Church for this reason! We need help to sanctify our lives.

If we don’ think there are enough priests to offer SD, then I suggest we all pray for more priests!

BTW I receive my SD from a lay-single person trained in offering spiritual direction. Therapy issues are rarely discussed except to point out if they are impeding my prayer life.

Yes. Thanks for interloping!

 

[spina1953]

In reading Guidance in Spiritual Direction by Charles Hugo Doyle, he says that sadly in the past spiritual direction was not al that well taught or thought needed for the laity. But he says that was changing. I can understand that there are parishes where it would be rather difficult for the priest to o spiritual direction. I do think that some priest are not versed in knowing how to give spiritual direction. However, there are those priests that try to give spiritual direction and welcome those who seek it. I think as it appears or seems to me that there are many Catholic’s who do not understand or know of spiritual direction.
For me I have had three spiritual directors who have helped me greatly in my prayer live, helping to grow spiritually. it was not therapy nor was it about counseling, but how to grow in holiness. It had not just helped me, but has also showed me ways to see the world God created and to love all as God loves. Putting God in one's life and allowing God to be a part of one's life I think is a one of the greatest gifts one can receive from God who loves all and wants to be a part of one's life.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

And then to find that, on giving his time, many of these were in fact actually after spiritual ‘counselling’ or a ‘listening ear’. As if priests aren’t overworked enough as it is.

I have no doubt that this happens, especially if it’s being recommended on EWTN or similar.

I think we have tried to describe what spiritual direction is and isn’t but I get the feeling you see spiritual direction differently. How do you define it? What would a session of spiritual direction look like with someone discerning their vocation and how would it look like with a diocesan priest? How would those differ from a laywoman who is a young wife and mother or a older widow?

I saw a program on EWTN recently wherein **the participants stressed the need for every Catholic to have a Spiritual Director. **I find this very confusing.

First, where would a person even find a spiritual director? Many parishes have only one priest - generally a Diocesean - which means he needs to be paid for his time. Every Catholic cannot afford to pay a priest for individual spiritual direction.

This seems also to be a favorite topic on CAF - the need for a spiritual director. Posters mention it as though you just went to your parish rectory and the priest was at your disposal.

I think that being able to have a spiritual director is not something that the majority of Catholics would be able to afford, even if they could find a Priest willing to do it.

:knight1:

 

[Brendan_64]

If we don’ think there are enough priests to offer SD, then I suggest we all pray for more priests!

That’s an understatement if ever there was one. There’s barely enough priests to administer the Sacraments adequately (at least in the UK) let alone offer additional time-consuming services. And yes, people have been praying for more priests for decades here.

Interestingly thought, there are parts of the world (even parts of Europe) where there is an excess of priests, and these priests would be glad to come to the UK to have their own parish, but some UK bishops are reluctant to allow this in their dioceses. So we continue to pray and we continue to see the numbers of priests falling (within our own country). Perhaps the Holy Spirit has answered our prayers, but we refuse to accept His gift because the wrapping paper isn’t to our liking?