As for helping teens find positive outlets even though they are in fancy families. There would be nothing stopping you from doing that in the Secular branches of either Order. ** If you joined the religious of either Order you would only be allowed to service them if your superiors said you could**, but as a secular you wouldn’t have to obtain permission. Whether your fraternity would serve that group as a whole would depend on the wishes of the fraternity and the council.
The bolded is the big part. It’s very much on my heart that if God decides that my wife will pass away before I do, I’m going all-in with the Order. Whichever Secular Order I join, I’ll be in, full stop to go First Order. It gnaws at me a bit due to what Jason mentioned:
Great points in my view. Spiritual poverty is important, and rampant.
The youth of today have so much spiritual poverty. They have their computers, their iPhones, their shoes, post secondary education, in some cases tattoos, dying their hair, hitting a tanning salon. They have everything they could ever want, yet they are still impoverished. And the kids, like I did, who come from broken homes. They have no stable paternal figure in their lives.
I’m 30 years old with a one year old son, and I’m married. It’s not just the teens that see me as a paternal figure, but the other volunteers. I’m ten years older than our current youth coordinator *who is the fourth one I’ve worked with over the last nine years at my parish), and he leans on me for guidance and support.
Those things above? Pure mendicant. Which makes things easier, as it narrows things down.
I don’t see things slowing down, ministry wise. God has clearly set things up in my life where for the next while that’s what is what will be the focus of my life within ministry. The question is more of the approach, the spirituality, and the “long game”. Working with people regardless of their income, where they live, all that I care about is bringing youth and young adults closer to Christ. Teaching kids who go to “Catholic” schools about the Truth, teaching RCIA for youth/young adults. Being that paternal figure towards others. Building fraternity, which literally saved my life. My best man brought me into his household when I was homeless, and the bonds I formed with some of the men who lived in that house are tighter than what I have with my own flesh and blood.
I love both Dominic and Francis so much, and model my life after the both of them. In a way, it seems almost not fair that I would have to chose to live by the Rules of one over the other. What concerns me is that joining one, I’ll be missing out on what my passion is, and on the people that I feel like God wants me to minister to. Perhaps Brother JR can chime in, but how many Franciscans minister to families who make six figures a year, but their kids have less spiritual riches than someone from Calcutta?
It’s difficult. More difficult than marriage, in the sense that when I knew that my wife was going to be my wife, that was going to happen. Period. This feels like the stage when I was single and hadn’t yet met her. It’s literally like I’m in love with two beautiful women at the same time, and I’m trying to figure out which one God wants me to be with. And considering what I said before; if my wife ever passes away before I do then this would become a literal life long commitment with vows.
I dunno.
Thanks for responding gentlemen, and thank you for sharing. And thanks for letting me ramble. And as always, thank you for the information (and any further information/thoughts you all will mention later).