SPLIT: Would it have been better to have not gone to Mass?

[Bpinoy730]

Not meant to hijack someone elses thread, but I’m feeling frustrated and need some advice about being refused communion.

I worked late last night. I was so tired I fell asleep in my car after parking in my driveway. I finally made it in to my real bed. I didn’t wake up until my brother called me to say he had just been in a motorcycle accident. I only spoke with him long enough to make sure he was ok, before I had to leave for mass. I work weekends and can only make a early mass.

I went outside to leave for mass and found that my car had been stolen. I called the police to report my car missing, and got the run around for like 30 minutes. a officer was sent to my house to take a report and by then I had missed 1 of the only 2 masses I could make. I always make time for mass and have only missed 3 times in the last 15 years, due to falling asleep. I don’t even leave early. I had 2 jobs and was making good money, but I quit one when it started getting in the way of basic living; even though now I barely pay my bills. I’ve actually gone to mass when I was so tired I fell asleep standing up and tripped backwards over the pew. I’m not saying I’m a perfect, sinless, Catholic, I’m just saying I try to be a decent human. Annnny wayz.

So I made it to the last mass I could without missing work. I rode my motorcycle even though it started to sprinkle. I thought church was at noon, but it was at 1230. I busted my hump to make it there at 1150. My car is kind of special build, and I know lots of ways and people to help me find cars. The longer I wait to look for my car, the less chance I have of getting it back. While I was waiting for a call from the police, I was also texting people for help. I even posted a missing car ad with on craigslist, and got responses of sightings. My insurance had to be contacted so I wouldn’t be held liable for accidents.

I spent all of mass in the glass room between the front doors and main church. I was trying to be close to mass, but at the same time not be where everyone would see me and set a bad example. All my money is tied up in that car, and I don’t really have enough to get good transportation for the winter. I hope people can understand how frustrated I was/am feeling. As Fr. was coming in for mass I told him my car had been stolen and asked him to pray for me. He didn’t say much or seem interested, but it could just have been my perception due to difference of nationality.

I was almost the last person in line for communion. As I put my hands out he refused to get me communion, and gave me a lecture instead. He said he had been watching me texting all through mass and did the hand movements and all. I have like 10 million issues going on in my life right now and this priest doesn’t even know me. Last week I lost my work clothes and all my ID after my “heavy-duty” backpack split open on the highway; that is the kind of random junk I’m dealing with. Mass and communion are one of the few real consistent parts of my life. I need them to make it through the week.

I feel like I got singled out by the priest. I see people chewing gum, coming in late and leaving early, wearing “disrespectful” clothes, texting in the pew, leaving phones on, hear them ring, see kids like 10 years old eating, talking, ppl wearing hats, etc…a zillion things.I was the only one who got refused communion. I got tsk tsked in front of everyone by a priest who spent the entire mass watching me. He had no clue what I was doing and he still felt fit to judge me not worthy of communion in my time of crisis. Would it be better if I missed mass and stayed home? Can a priest or person be in the state of grace and receive communion while judging someone? He just assumed what I was doing and my lack of involvement and discipline. he didn’t know or ask what I was doing. I could of been looking at the readings online, or watching a youtube video of the readings/homily. Yeah, I might have some hokey excuses, but I feel so is getting denied communion based on his very few facts of me standing in the very back, checking my phone after getting my car stolen.

How am I supposed to feel, what was I supposed to do?

 

[ProVobis]

How am I supposed to feel, what was I supposed to do?

Sorry about your car.

Personally, I think you did what anyone else would have done in your spot, unless what you were doing was stirring up the discomfort level for those around you. The bigger issue I would have is with the priest watching the people while he’s saying Mass. I would think they should be grown up enough that they wouldn’t need supervision and it’s probably another reason why the ad orientem posture in the Mass should be made standard.

 

[Jean_Anthony]

aaa

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I am very sorry for your situation. I think that since you had so many issues going on in an emergency situation - stolen car, brother in accident, etc. that you would have been excused from going to Mass. You could then have gone to confession/spoken to your priest during the week so that you would be able to receive communion the next Sunday.

Remember that we are not obligated to receive communion each Sunday. Since you were admittedly distracted during Mass by your need to find your car, you were not truly disposed to receive communion. It was right for the priest to stop you. Yes, he should be stopping those who are chewing gum, and who are also texting/talking on the phone during Mass. (arriving late and ugly clothes are a different situation) Unfortunately, since you were in an area that he could see clearly, he singled you out.

I do hope your car is recovered. I recommend that you speak to the priest later this week and let him know what was happening Sunday, and the other circumstances in your life (lost belongs, etc.). Hopefully he will give you good counsel and also advise you as to how to handle a situation like last Sunday if it happens again.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

I do not think that the behaviour of others that you mention gives any of us any excuse to behave inappropriately at Mass. You probably had a valid reason to miss Mass. If you went to Mass then that is what you ought to have done. You spent the entire Mass, from your own description, in the vestibule texting so you were not really at Mass. A teacher would not accept a student doing that in a lesson. It would not be tolerated in a business meeting at work. Why should we behave that way at Mass? You may at least have fulfilled your Sunday obligation and it is good that you see the Mass as important rather than an obligation. You have no obligation to receive Communion so no problem there.

 

[EasterJoy]

Save the day someone dies, that is about the biggest bummer day I have ever heard of. I’m so sorry. I hope you’ve gotten your car back and your brother is OK.

OK, first for the “ought” part: No, you ought not miss Mass when you can go. As you very astutely realize, it is the glue that keeps you together. Although the unusual circumstances make your behavior understandable, unless someone is going to die if you’re not available, you ought to turn off the electronic devices during Mass. If you need to answer a truly urgent call, something important enough to excuse you from your obligation, then you leave Mass and come back in. Otherwise, be 100% there for Mass, and don’t use the behavior of others as any kind of excuse. Being surrounded by bulimics doesn’t make your anorexia healthy.

Now that the “ought” is done with: Arrange to meet with this priest and talk to him about the incident, and the whole day surrounding it. He may have had some particular reason, correct or mistaken, for which he singled you out. It is worth the time (and possible angst) it will take to more fully explain yourselves to each other. (It is even possible that it has hit him only later that the guy who had his car stolen and the guy who was texting are the same guy. Or not, but maybe.)

When you apologize–and yes, you should apologize for texting so much during Mass, because you weren’t a physician texting a paramedic about a patient being raced to the hospital–you can give all your reasons, but put your apology last.

That is
NOT “I’m sorry I was texting at Mass, but my brother had been in a serious accident, my car was stolen and I was frantic to get it back and keep up with his condition.” Great excuses, but still, excuses are not as good as apologies.

BUT RATHER “Father, I was upset because my brother had been in a terrible accident and my car had been stolen and I was frantic to know if he was going to be OK and whether my car might be recovered, but I shouldn’t have been texting at Mass. I’m sorry.” In the second case, mitigating reasons are given, but not as if these were excuses, so the apology is stronger.

 

[Bpinoy730]

ahhh. You are probably all correct. But I in my young age of 28 feel the urge to correct myself, as well as justify whatever I do. So yea, I don’t really like any of your answers so far. I just WANT to be right Sorta putting aside my pride for a moment and continuing picking up the harp…:

Maybe I am a Doctor/Nurse/On-Call Emergency Staff…:

All you know what I was doing, but he didn’t. In 7 years of college I’ve only missed 5 days of class. I took classes from police academy, to to art, to philosophy to, to yoga, to Spanish and so on. Every semester was a full load, and two semesters I petitioned and took over a full load. I passed all the first time with full credits, except math and english which I had to re-take and still struggle with. I have never been talked to about being disruptive, shown as absent, or kicked out of class for anything.

*My catechism classes back in the day were occasionally a different issue…

Regardless, none of all that doesn’t make texting in church right, I’m just saying there exceptions to every rule. Not that anyone was arguing otherwise…

I wasn’t sitting in the front pew 40 minutes late, rubbing my palms and thinking “oh what a clever boy I am for finding the loop-hole of being present at mass is a good enough excuse to get communion.” In class I passed because I tested out with good grades. I showed I learned the course material and could apply it. The same idea goes for the classes I failed.

If I had shown blatant disrespect I could see it being fair to be put in my place automatically.But how distracted is too distracted, and wow Disrespectful is too disrespectful to get punished? I would rather have had the priest come down from the pulpit during mass and question me if he thought the worst of me. Heck, get an alter server to come tell me. If what I was was doing was so wrong that I would be denied communion I’d like to have been warned at that moment rather than have him assume it was obvious.

Oh the Humanity:

I probably should have typed sinful clothing rather than bad clothing. Yup its true. When I see a beautiful lady my mind wonders. Even more so when I see one in a mini skirt or halter top and spikes. Father has repeatedly spoke about proper attire, and yet a large population ignore him. Signs were even posted with visual examples. Should I start running up to communion and make sure Father lectures them that if they “cause even the smallest to sin, it would have been better that a stone was tied around their neck and they were cast into the water”? Maybe I deserve the same fate for causing Father to lose focus. Out of context?

I once wore a gray hat my mom knitted me, during winter, and was told it was disrespectful if I didn’t remove it. I removed my hat and after mass saw there had been a few ladies wearing hats, but no one told them anything. I have no issue with strict policing in its self. If someone wants to micro manage at least be fair, clear and obvious enough to let everyone learn from the example.

I’ll give him credit because he is human, and I’m not the only person he has ever singled out, but it has been erratic. I felt what I learned was something like its ok to get communion sometimes if you come to mass late, sit in the front, and leave early with no explanation. But its not ok to get communion in my situation.

If I have to fight to get communion and prove myself in front of everyone, why not EVERYONE in front of me? Is staring off into the church people watching as we “listen” any holy-er than staring at my cell phone as I “listen”? I thought the point of mass was to get closer to God, and remind people how to act their entire life, not just hourly

Yea, I know. It sounds like I’m trying to tell everyone what they should believe, like I’m God, and I’m right yatta yatta yatta. I am thankful for all your time and comments though. A little honest debate helps my personal growth. Its kind of like confession in trying to stay from self-medicating. Its a constant fight I hope to overcome, and hope everyone else is successful in conquering.

 

[TrueLight]

?

I once wore a gray hat my mom knitted me, during winter, and was told it was disrespectful if I didn’t remove it. I removed my hat and after mass saw there had been a few ladies wearing hats, but no one told them anything. I have no issue with strict policing in its self. If someone wants to micro manage at least be fair, clear and obvious enough to let everyone learn from the example.

FYI, Traditionally, women have covered their heads during Mass/church.

1 Corinthians 112 I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the traditions just as I passed them on to you. 3 But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man,[a] and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. 5 But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is the same as having her head shaved. 6 For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head.
7 A man ought not to cover his head,** since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10 It is for this reason that a woman ought to have authority over her own[c] head, because of the angels. 11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12 For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God. **

Nowadays a lot of women don’t and one can argue that what St Paul says does not apply to modern times, but that is why it would be okay for women in the congregation to wear hats and for men not to.

 

[PJM]

=Bpinoy730;8401687]Not meant to hijack someone elses thread, but I’m feeling frustrated and need some advice about being refused communion.

I worked late last night. I was so tired I fell asleep in my car after parking in my driveway. I finally made it in to my real bed. I didn’t wake up until my brother called me to say he had just been in a motorcycle accident. I only spoke with him long enough to make sure he was ok, before I had to leave for mass. I work weekends and can only make a early mass.

I went outside to leave for mass and found that my car had been stolen. I called the police to report my car missing, and got the run around for like 30 minutes. a officer was sent to my house to take a report and by then I had missed 1 of the only 2 masses I could make. I always make time for mass and have only missed 3 times in the last 15 years, due to falling asleep. I don’t even leave early. I had 2 jobs and was making good money, but I quit one when it started getting in the way of basic living; even though now I barely pay my bills. I’ve actually gone to mass when I was so tired I fell asleep standing up and tripped backwards over the pew. I’m not saying I’m a perfect, sinless, Catholic, I’m just saying I try to be a decent human. Annnny wayz.

So I made it to the last mass I could without missing work. I rode my motorcycle even though it started to sprinkle. I thought church was at noon, but it was at 1230. I busted my hump to make it there at 1150. My car is kind of special build, and I know lots of ways and people to help me find cars. The longer I wait to look for my car, the less chance I have of getting it back. While I was waiting for a call from the police, I was also texting people for help. I even posted a missing car ad with on craigslist, and got responses of sightings. My insurance had to be contacted so I wouldn’t be held liable for accidents.

I spent all of mass in the glass room between the front doors and main church. I was trying to be close to mass, but at the same time not be where everyone would see me and set a bad example. All my money is tied up in that car, and I don’t really have enough to get good transportation for the winter. I hope people can understand how frustrated I was/am feeling. As Fr. was coming in for mass I told him my car had been stolen and asked him to pray for me. He didn’t say much or seem interested, but it could just have been my perception due to difference of nationality.

I was almost the last person in line for communion. As I put my hands out he refused to get me communion, and gave me a lecture instead. He said he had been watching me texting all through mass and did the hand movements and all. I have like 10 million issues going on in my life right now and this priest doesn’t even know me. Last week I lost my work clothes and all my ID after my “heavy-duty” backpack split open on the highway; that is the kind of random junk I’m dealing with. Mass and communion are one of the few real consistent parts of my life. I need them to make it through the week.

I feel like I got singled out by the priest. I see people chewing gum, coming in late and leaving early, wearing “disrespectful” clothes, texting in the pew, leaving phones on, hear them ring, see kids like 10 years old eating, talking, ppl wearing hats, etc…a zillion things.I was the only one who got refused communion. I got tsk tsked in front of everyone by a priest who spent the entire mass watching me. He had no clue what I was doing and he still felt fit to judge me not worthy of communion in my time of crisis. Would it be better if I missed mass and stayed home? Can a priest or person be in the state of grace and receive communion while judging someone? He just assumed what I was doing and my lack of involvement and discipline. he didn’t know or ask what I was doing. I could of been looking at the readings online, or watching a youtube video of the readings/homily. Yeah, I might have some hokey excuses, but I feel so is getting denied communion based on his very few facts of me standing in the very back, checking my phone after getting my car stolen.

How am I supposed to feel, what was I supposed to do?

The Priest was doing His assigned job

We are to “Attend” Mass means we ARE REQUIRED to be attentive AT MASS

You were there physically, but not emotionally or spiritually connected. There for effectively "not in attendance AT MASS.’ A sin? Yes! A Mortal sin; likely not as it was your entent to be there. Dicusss it with your Confessor; but don’t lose more sleep over it.

God Bless,
Pat

OH!

GOD FIRST
Family second
Everything elase [cool cars included] follow

 

[Bpinoy730]

A little voice in my head nags that I’m making a mountain out of a mole hill when I should be arguing against war or world hunger. Part of me also says I may have as much to teach me, as I have to learn from him. I should probably be spend as much time talking to the brother I have an issue with rather than myself and everyone else…I will speak to the Fr.

Hats= Tradition, but not a requirement for women?

any sin = no communion?

 

[Bpinoy730]

The Fr. has never met me, but I should probably also mention that the younger brother who crashed was their trip organizer for the Spain World Youth Day, and a CCD teacher…and that I left a SIGNED note on Fr.s door telling him how I felt and what I thought of him…I waited a day to write it, and re read it and still felt the same, so I left it a little crude.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

Perhaps it is time for you to consider this matter from a perspective other than your own.

 

[EasterJoy]

The Fr. has never met me, but I should probably also mention that the younger brother who crashed was their trip organizer for the Spain World Youth Day, and a CCD teacher…and that I left a SIGNED note on Fr.s door telling him how I felt and what I thought of him…I waited a day to write it, and re read it and still felt the same, so I left it a little crude.

It is almost never a good idea to tell someone what you think of them in a note, no matter what you think of them. I have made that mistake–oh, how I have made that mistake!

The note won’t give you resolution, because it leaves the question unanswered and the relationship broken. It does not matter if it is the priest’s fault or your fault or both at fault or nobody at fault. Fault-finding does not fix a situation like this.

This is playing out as if it were a clash of principles. Pastoral care does not work that way. You can’t prove your way to moral superiority, and to be perfectly frank, neither can this priest. There is such a thing as dead right in interpersonal relationships, just as there is in motorcycle riding. If a truck hits you when you had the right of way, you are just as dead as if it was you and not the truck driver who deserved the citation. Likewise, you were laid out flat. Perhaps the priest was, too, or has been by your note. It could hardly matter less whose fault it was. What matters is getting you healed up and then doing what you can for your part to avoid similar collisions in the future. (I mean the you in the plural sense.)

It worked out in a messy way that you went to Mass, but you did the right thing. Just because some of the results were unpleasant doesn’t change that.

Talk to the priest. The matter may look very different after you have done that. In any event, having done that, try to let the matter go. Be contrite where you were wrong, make amends, and having obtained absolution for your own sins, take the counsel that the Lord gave with the parable of the man forgiven a great debt, and let the rest go.

 

[SecretGarden]

I think it’s ok to miss mass if there is an emergency such as yours. Your car was stolen, you brother was in an accident, it was normal for you to be anxious and upset. Most people wouldn’t have the gumption to do what you tried. The fact you spent most of the time between the doors is irrelevant here because you were silent, and you were being respectful because at least you were texting and not disrupting the mass. You mentioned you were in an area where you could hear the mass. That again is showing respect. Just because your mind wasn’t on the mass doesn’t mean it wasn’t nourishing your soul. I think in this case, you had every right going up for the eucharist and having it. I don’t think it was right for the priest to not give you the eucharist especially if you were anxious.

I suggest that you follow the other’s suggestion and speak with him. You can apologize if your behaviour seemed a bit inappropriate and see what he has to say. I believe its important to attend mass as much as possible but we should also allow ourselves room to take care of ourselves which means in your case miss mass so you can contact the necessary people to handle the situation. You could also miss mass to see your brother if the situation was extremely bad. God will understand if you chose to see a severely injured relative verses going to mass. If another emergency arises, you can always watch the mass online and try to get to the next possible mass you can for the Eucharist. Young people have a lot on their plates, between working all sorts of crazy hours, and dealing with life in general, it can be difficult to manage everything.

Attend mass as much as possible and be real with yourself and your needs. If this priest refuses to listen to you, find another parish if you can with one who cares about his people and who understands that sometimes life happens and its not always pretty.

 

[Bpinoy730]

Is there a priest part of this forum. I like hearing from my peers, but id be curious to know the official united opinion of the church on my quandary. I haven’t had much luck getting my questions clearly answered by an official source in years. I had a question on marriage that took like 6 months or persistent nagging to nail someone for an answer. My track record with the church hasn’t been great. First priest I had as a kid died from hiv/aids he contracted during his homosexual phase. The Fr. who replaced him left the and deciding he was a homosexual and got a boyfriend. As a kid id get laughed at for asking where dinosaurs were in the bible. I didn’t quit the church because its the ppl setting bad examples, not necessarly the church being bad. But yea, Im going to try having an open mind and talking to some priests, and making amends with the on I have issues with

 

[EasterJoy]

Is there a priest part of this forum. I like hearing from my peers, but id be curious to know the official united opinion of the church on my quandary. I haven’t had much luck getting my questions clearly answered by an official source in years. I had a question on marriage that took like 6 months or persistent nagging to nail someone for an answer. My track record with the church hasn’t been great. First priest I had as a kid died from hiv/aids he contracted during his homosexual phase. The Fr. who replaced him left the and deciding he was a homosexual and got a boyfriend. As a kid id get laughed at for asking where dinosaurs were in the bible. I didn’t quit the church because its the ppl setting bad examples, not necessarly the church being bad. But yea, Im going to try having an open mind and talking to some priests, and making amends with the on I have issues with

Wow, you did have a bad run, there. I’m sorry you got laughed at for asking where the dinosaurs were in the Bible; I hope you can see from your present prospective that it is kind of a cute question for a kid to ask. Adults have to be careful not to unintentionally shame kids for asking reasonable questions that are unknowingly also entertaining…which kids unfailingly do.

This latest run-in with the priest was also unfortunate. Personally, although most priests I know would be very upset to see a communicant spending essentially all of Mass on an electronic device before approaching Holy Communion–that is not what is meant by participating at Mass–I don’t think any of them would have handled it quite that way. As your case attests, there are sometimes extenuating circumstances. Even when it doesn’t seem like there could be any reason for the action, even when the person arguably did not have to be doing what they were doing, sometimes it is better to have a pastoral discussion rather than a confrontation.

Do talk to the priest, and if his answer doesn’t satisfy you, go talk to another one.

 

[DoGodsBidding]

Is there a priest part of this forum. I like hearing from my peers, but id be curious to know the official united opinion of the church on my quandary. I haven’t had much luck getting my questions clearly answered by an official source in years. I had a question on marriage that took like 6 months or persistent nagging to nail someone for an answer. My track record with the church hasn’t been great. First priest I had as a kid died from hiv/aids he contracted during his homosexual phase. The Fr. who replaced him left the and deciding he was a homosexual and got a boyfriend. As a kid id get laughed at for asking where dinosaurs were in the bible. I didn’t quit the church because its the ppl setting bad examples, not necessarly the church being bad. But yea, Im going to try having an open mind and talking to some priests, and making amends with the on I have issues with

Use the “Ask an Apologist” section. It is the first one on the home page.

DGB

 

[SecretGarden]

I just want to encourage you to not give up with the Catholic church. Unfortunately you’ve met some priests that give the priesthood a bad name. Please know that not all priests you have met are like that. Priests are also human and sometimes they fall like the rest of us. I’m sorry that they have hurt you. I’ve been hurt by many protestant ministers and it’s not fun. It takes time to heal and sometimes even more time to find a good one. There are good ones around. I am fortunate to know several good ones. If you lived in the Montreal area, I could recommend several that are approachable and easy to talk to. If you want to learn more about the Catholic church, I can recommend several good books and websites to help.

I hope your brother is getting better and know that the people on this forum have a good heart and want to see you grow in your faith. Keep asking your questions because it’s a gift and you are lucky to have some amazing resources where these questions can be answered.

Take care and God bless,

SG

 

[EasterJoy]

Unfortunately you’ve met some priests that give the priesthood a bad name. Please know that not all priests you have met are like that.

It is a good idea, however, to talk to the actual person from whom you took offense before projecting too much onto them. They both have their own side to share with each other, and we have only heard one side.

Just as it would be a shame for the priest to go away from this thinking the communicant was so obviously unattentive to the point of irreverence that approaching Holy Communion wasn’t appropriate, it would be a shame for the communicant to go away from this thinking the priest was inexcusably unfair, lacking in compassion, and end of story. We don’t know that.

The priest saw someone texting non-stop during Mass. That is not OK, and the OP doesn’t deny that. It is something the OP would never do under ordinary circumstances and in retrospect might not do if the situation were to play out all over again. Still, the OP did have some truly extraordinary extenuating circumstances, and was also unusually in need of compassionate pastoral care.

I think the priest would be edified to know that the willingness to text through Mass came not from a habitual attitude but from a very short-term and unusual state of frantic agitation.

If the priest sees no room for compassion about the situation, it would be worth it for the OP to talk to another priest about the situation. That was a very bad day! Most fellow Catholics, let alone most priests, would want to be there to be a comfort on a day like that.

Still, this highlights something we all need to remember when we see “bad” behavior, both during Mass and outside of it. Even when you think you know the whole story, you don’t always know the whole story. Let’s give the priests that same benefit of the doubt, right?

 

[cat5wired]

Maybe I missed it, but PIboy, 1)Did you get your issue resolved in time to go to the Eucharist again? 2) Did you get yer car back? 3) Did your crashed brother recover??

This is not confession, so you don’t have to give all the details, but some of us out here (others besides myself I’m sure) were touched by your situation, and hope all is well.

Especially since you wrote about Mass + Communion being the glue that holds your life together (what a beautiful way to say it!), I for one am praying you got a sympathetic priest to listen to you… If NOT, like others have said before me, hopefully you will buttonhole a priest you feel more comfortable with.

I think its interesting that you were standing in the back of the church so as not to distract or scandalize anyone. I hope you can laugh in realising that the person you distracted was the Priest.

And if you had gone to Communion to one of the Eucharistic Ministers (assuming there are some in your parish), they would have not known about your texting, since they face FORWARD during the Mass. I’m not at all saying you should try to sneak around the priest! But you had the perfect coincidence of factors to get temporarily “refused”. I say temporary, because you were not excommunicated or anything.

I’m sure a priest who totally knew what was going on with you that Sunday morning would understand and maybe even provide you with some helpful spiritual direction.

May God bless you.