Sponsors RCIA and RCIC

[Jennifer132]

We have 5 children, and all seven of us are entering the church this Easter Vigil. We are told we all need different sponsors. Our families and close friends are not Catholic. We have met a few people at the parish who potentially might be a sponsor for a few of us, and my husband has a work friend who is Catholic, but not seven people! What I’m wondering is, what kind of commitment does a sponsor have to make? How often do we meet with them how many events must they attend? I’m trying to determine if asking these Catholic acquaintances would be a burden to them or not. Also, we do not have god parents for the children. It seems weird picking relative strangers as their sponsors…what do people normally do in this scenario?

 

[StudentMI]

The sponsors really just play a formal role, in my experience. RCIA in my former parish required them but they really didn’t do much. Sure, some people had great sponsors but I never spoke with mine outside of classes, and after being confirmed never exchanged more than a few sentences with him at Mass.

 

[thecolorsblend]

We have 5 children, and all seven of us are entering the church this Easter Vigil. We are told we all need different sponsors. Our families and close friends are not Catholic. We have met a few people at the parish who potentially might be a sponsor for a few of us, and my husband has a work friend who is Catholic, but not seven people! What I’m wondering is, what kind of commitment does a sponsor have to make? How often do we meet with them how many events must they attend? I’m trying to determine if asking these Catholic acquaintances would be a burden to them or not. Also, we do not have god parents for the children. It seems weird picking relative strangers as their sponsors…what do people normally do in this scenario?

There was no other choice for me except for the pastor to find a total stranger. He’s a nice guy and quite active in the parish. It’s not ideal but it’s doable.

When I was about to be welcomed into the Church though, my pastor said that if I know someone in another town, state or whatever, they could sponsor me as well. Somehow. All my pastor would’ve needed is a letter from their pastor saying they’re in good standing with the Church. I didn’t know any Catholics (and the only possibility said he attends Mass at an SSPX place!) but a Catholic friend from the Internet might be able to manage this for you.

Just thinking out loud here.

 

[LiamQ]

Blessed Be God for His generosity to your family!

I don’t have any advice on sponsors, but it’s simply wonderful to hear of this.

 

[1ke]

We have 5 children, and all seven of us are entering the church this Easter Vigil. We are told we all need different sponsors.

You’ve been given inaccurate information. Sponsors need not be unique. One sponsor can sponsor everyone, or some number of you.

What I’m wondering is, what kind of commitment does a sponsor have to make?

They need only be present at the Vigil. (well, if they don’t live where you do or can’t make it, they don’t even have to be at the Vigil, they can have a proxy stand in).

How often do we meet with them how many events must they attend?

That is up to you, and they need not attend any events. The RCIA classes are catechesis for you. It would be nice if they could attend with you, go on a retreat or whatever, but that is NOT mandatory for a sponsor and don’t let anyone tell you it is.

Your sponsor technically need not even be present at the Vigil, as someone can stand in as proxy.

I’m trying to determine if asking these Catholic acquaintances would be a burden to them or not.

I suppose that depends on whether an overzealous director tries to make it a burden.

Also, we do not have god parents for the children. It seems weird picking relative strangers as their sponsors…what do people normally do in this scenario?

It really depends on the individuals. If you know someone well, they can sponsor all of you.

If someone tries to tell you otherwise, take it to your pastor.

 

[jmcrae]

We have 5 children, and all seven of us are entering the church this Easter Vigil. We are told we all need different sponsors. Our families and close friends are not Catholic. We have met a few people at the parish who potentially might be a sponsor for a few of us, and my husband has a work friend who is Catholic, but not seven people! What I’m wondering is, what kind of commitment does a sponsor have to make? How often do we meet with them how many events must they attend? I’m trying to determine if asking these Catholic acquaintances would be a burden to them or not. Also, we do not have god parents for the children. It seems weird picking relative strangers as their sponsors…what do people normally do in this scenario?

Ideally, your sponsor will walk with you through these new experiences as you enter into a closer relationship with Christ in His Church, and they will be there for you in the future as well.

In practice it doesn’t always work out that way. The absolute minimum is that someone needs to stand with you and present you for your three Rites, who is willing to say that you have prepared yourself well for the Rite, and that you are well prepared to partake of the things that come next in your journey of faith.

Your sponsor is a fully initiated Catholic in good standing with the Church who is not your parent or your child, and, because of the laws that forbid us to be married to our godparents, they also should not be your spouse or serious romantic interest.

 

[Isca]

The priest found a sponsor for me and the lady in question also sponsored several other of the candidates. I now attend a different parish as we moved house, so I only occasionally bump into her. It’s perfectly OK to have that arrangement.

I think in your situation (congratulations by the way), I’d be asking your priest if he could help to find someone who could sponsor you as a whole family.

 

[boldlygo]

**We have 5 children, and all seven of us are entering the **church this Easter Vigil. We are told we all need different sponsors. Our families and close friends are not Catholic. We have met a few people at the parish who potentially might be a sponsor for a few of us, and my husband has a work friend who is Catholic, but not seven people! What I’m wondering is, what kind of commitment does a sponsor have to make? How often do we meet with them how many events must they attend? I’m trying to determine if asking these Catholic acquaintances would be a burden to them or not. Also, we do not have god parents for the children. It seems weird picking relative strangers as their sponsors…what do people normally do in this scenario?

Congratulations…what a wonderful blessing!

I’ve been a member of the RCIA team at our small parish for 20 years, and during that time, have been a sponsor/Godparent several times…over the next several months, you will get to know the members of the RCIA team very well, and it’s not something you have to decide right now…think about it…

 

[pianistclare]

Ideally, your sponsor will walk with you through these new experiences as you enter into a closer relationship with Christ in His Church, and they will be there for you in the future as well.

In practice it doesn’t always work out that way. The absolute minimum is that someone needs to stand with you and present you for your three Rites, who is willing to say that you have prepared yourself well for the Rite, and that you are well prepared to partake of the things that come next in your journey of faith.

Your sponsor is a fully initiated Catholic in good standing with the Church who is not your parent or your child, and, because of the laws that forbid us to be married to our godparents, they also should not be your spouse or serious romantic interest.

 

[Reuben_J]

Ideally, your sponsor will walk with you through these new experiences as you enter into a closer relationship with Christ in His Church, and they will be there for you in the future as well.

In practice it doesn’t always work out that way. The absolute minimum is that someone needs to stand with you and present you for your three Rites, who is willing to say that you have prepared yourself well for the Rite, and that you are well prepared to partake of the things that come next in your journey of faith.

Your sponsor is a fully initiated Catholic in good standing with the Church who is not your parent or your child, and, because of the laws that forbid us to be married to our godparents, they also should not be your spouse or serious romantic interest.

I think this says it efficiently and nicely.

To the OP, being new to the parish, you may not know many Catholics there but do not fret over your sponsors. You can tell that to your RCIA instructor or the parish priest. They will find some nice Catholics for you.

Congratulation and welcome home.

God bless.

Reuben

 

[1ke]

The absolute minimum is that someone needs to stand with you and present you for your three Rites, who is willing to say that you have prepared yourself well for the Rite, and that you are well prepared to partake of the things that come next in your journey of faith.

If she does not have a sponsor or sponsors if/when she and her family attend the rites, any member of the team can stand up with/for the family.

One can be received into the Church without the rites. One can receive the rites without having selected a sponsor for baptism. The person who sponsors at the Rites need not be the same person who sponsors at Baptism.

Your sponsor is a fully initiated Catholic in good standing with the Church who is not your parent or your child, and,** because of the laws that forbid us to be married to our godparents**, they also should not be your spouse or serious romantic interest.

The 1983 code of canon law for Latin Catholics does not contain such a prohibition. So, they are free to choose a spouse or significant other as a sponsor. (although in my experience it is discouraged when adult inquirers are involved so as not to have added pressure on them during the discernment process)

The Eastern code **does **maintain this prohibition.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

The 1983 code of canon law for Latin Catholics does not contain such a prohibition. So, they are free to choose a spouse or significant other as a sponsor. (although in my experience it is discouraged when adult inquirers are involved so as not to have added pressure on them during the discernment process)

The Eastern code **does **maintain this prohibition.

I am simply astonished that this clarification still needs be repeated more than 30 years after the promulgation of the “new” Code of Canon Law.

 

[jmcrae]

If she does not have a sponsor or sponsors if/when she and her family attend the rites, any member of the team can stand up with/for the family.

One can be received into the Church without the rites. One can receive the rites without having selected a sponsor for baptism. The person who sponsors at the Rites need not be the same person who sponsors at Baptism.

We try to discourage minimalism except in the most unusual circumstances - if someone is in danger of death, obviously the Rites happen much more rapidly and in abbreviated form, and if someone has been living as a Catholic and had no idea until they went to look up their paperwork that they were not in fact Catholic, that would also proceed rapidly with abbreviated Rites.

In most normal situations, it is appropriate and beneficial to participate in the Rites - I don’t think people should feel like they are being imposed upon but rather that they are receiving greater gifts. The journey of conversion is a pilgrimage with many interesting landmarks and stopping places along the way; not a foot race to see how fast you can get done.

 

[Reuben_J]

If she does not have a sponsor or sponsors if/when she and her family attend the rites, any member of the team can stand up with/for the family.

One can be received into the Church without the rites. One can receive the rites without having selected a sponsor for baptism. The person who sponsors at the Rites need not be the same person who sponsors at Baptism.

Smart answer and probably nobody can say that is wrong.

Having said that, baptism sponsorship has been very often not made into good use or what they should be. You don’t need to arrange a sponsor and just rope anyone available at the baptismal rite to become one, let alone having a chosen sponsor who do not turn up at the baptism or when he does, it would be the last time the candidate would see his face.

I think that is not what the Church intended in Baptism sponsorship.

Baptism is one single greatest event in a person life, where his life is practically changed and he will never be the same again. It would be good to accord to a baptismal candidate as much as we can give as is reasonably required and that can begin with the sponsor. He should not absent himself unless there is an earthquake or a calamity (in other word he should try to make it a priority especially if it has been planned long before hand).

An example in our parish, which is a large archdiocese, we see this trend of indifference on the part of the sponsors. Thus last Easter, before the mass baptism during the Easter Vigil (there were more than one thousands candidates which caused a huge logistic nightmare). the candidates and their sponsors were made to attend a few briefings to teach them on their required role which should not stop immediately after the rite but to continue long into their respective lives. I thought it was ironic, something that most people take for granted, that it should be pumped into their heads.

As far as I know, everybody turned up and it was nice to see and especially so for the baptized to have their sponsors standing behind them.

 

[1ke]

We try to discourage minimalism except

Are you suggesting I am ENcouraging “.minimalism”?

What I am doing is encouraging a stressed out person who is under the impression she has to find SEVEN different sponsors for herself, husband, and five children. She does not.

I suggested that if she knows one person (or a couple of people) well, that person can be the sponsor of each member of her family, whether that person is local or lives far away, whether or not that person can attend rites or meetings.

She has the right to select a sponsor, as does each member of her family, and she cannot be told they must each have a different sponsor because that simply isn’t true.

 

[Phemie]

Are you suggesting I am ENcouraging “.minimalism”?

What I am doing is encouraging a stressed out person who is under the impression she has to find SEVEN different sponsors for herself, husband, and five children. She does not.

I suggested that if she knows one person (or a couple of people) well, that person can be the sponsor of each member of her family, whether that person is local or lives far away, whether or not that person can attend rites or meetings.

She has the right to select a sponsor, as does each member of her family, and she cannot be told they must each have a different sponsor because that simply isn’t true.

I rarely disagree with you but what’s the point of an RCIA sponsor who can’t attend the sessions and be available for the person going through it?

I’m well aware that when it comes to Baptism & Confirmation the choice of godparent/sponsor is up to the person receiving the sacrament, but RCIA sponsors are often appointed as needed from a team of volunteers. In the end these same volunteers may be chosen as godparent/sponsor, and often are, but not always.

As for requiring 7, that’s a bit much. I don’t doubt that the kids could have one for all of them but I do think the adults each need their own sponsor. I wouldn’t want to be the sponsor for a husband and wife at the same time. That would likely inhibit some of the conversations that should be happening.

 

[jmcrae]

I rarely disagree with you but what’s the point of an RCIA sponsor who can’t attend the sessions and be available for the person going through it?

I’m well aware that when it comes to Baptism & Confirmation the choice of godparent/sponsor is up to the person receiving the sacrament, but RCIA sponsors are often appointed as needed from a team of volunteers. In the end these same volunteers may be chosen as godparent/sponsor, and often are, but not always.

As for requiring 7, that’s a bit much. I don’t doubt that the kids could have one for all of them but I do think the adults each need their own sponsor. I wouldn’t want to be the sponsor for a husband and wife at the same time. That would likely inhibit some of the conversations that should be happening.

I agree with this.

Also I thought it was clear in my response that the minimalism I was reacting to was the omission of the Rites altogether.

As I understand it from the RCIA training sessions I’ve attended, the Rites can be abbreviated in special cases, but not omitted, for Baptismal candidates. All of the Rites also take place at infant Baptisms as well, one right after the other.

 

[jmcrae]

I am simply astonished that this clarification still needs be repeated more than 30 years after the promulgation of the “new” Code of Canon Law.

Would you want to be married to someone who takes a parenting role in your life, even if it’s allowed? Or to your god child?

 

[dconklin]

You’ve been given inaccurate information. Sponsors need not be unique. One sponsor can sponsor everyone, or some number of you.

They need only be present at the Vigil. (well, if they don’t live where you do or can’t make it, they don’t even have to be at the Vigil, they can have a proxy stand in).

That is up to you, and they need not attend any events. The RCIA classes are catechesis for you. It would be nice if they could attend with you, go on a retreat or whatever, but that is NOT mandatory for a sponsor and don’t let anyone tell you it is.

Your sponsor technically need not even be present at the Vigil, as someone can stand in as proxy.

I suppose that depends on whether an overzealous director tries to make it a burden.

It really depends on the individuals. If you know someone well, they can sponsor all of you.

If someone tries to tell you otherwise, take it to your pastor.

As much as I try not to disagree with 1ke, I need to beg to differ with some of this. Our RCIA program encourages the sponsors to attend a number of the classes and to be present for the Rites. Manditory? No, but it is encouraged. A few years ago we started using Parish Guides. PGs are members of the parish who are assigned to attend class with the RCIA students to help answer questions and such. Many PGs become sponsors.

 

[1ke]

I rarely disagree with you but what’s the point of an RCIA sponsor who can’t attend the sessions and be available for the person going through it?

Well, let’s examine what, exactly RCIA is. RCIA is NOT “sessions”. Catechesis group sessions are established as a convenient way to impart doctrinal topics to a group of people inquiring into the faith.

But never confuse catechetical sessions with RCIA. RCIA are rites that accompany a person’s journey, which is a process.

The *process *of conversion certainly takes dialog with other Catholics, formation in living as a Catholic. The **community as a whole **assists with this via the sacramental and liturgical life of the community and evangelization and corporal/spiritual works of mercy it does.

A sponsor can walk a faith journey with their candidate or catechumen without ever going to “sessions”.

If this family has one or two Catholics they call friends-- such as the husband’s work friend-- they can walk together through discussion, through sharing meals, through attending liturgy, through any number of things that don’t include “sessions”.

If the sponsor can **also **attend the catechetical sessions with the catechumen or candidate, great.

But if they can’t that is NOT, NOT, NOT an impediment to them being a sponsor. Canon law outlines the requirements of a sponsor. “Attending RCIA meetings” is not among them.

And, there’s no such thing as an “RCIA sponsor” really. The sponsor sponsors the candidate for baptism and/or confirmation. The sponsor has a role in the Rites, but in cases where a sponsor cannot be present at the rites (such as someone who lives out of town) a proxy can serve.

In the OP’s case, she doesn’t know many/any Catholics. In more general cases, sometimes people do have Catholics in their lives-- an aunt, uncle, grandparent, friend, who may be local or may live somewhere else. They most certainly can (and IMHO should) be the sponsor even if they cannot attend meetings or rites. It would certainly be ideal if they could attend rites and Vigil. But in worst case scenario, a person can be a sponsor and have a proxy at the actual baptism/confirmation.

This happens ever day with infant baptisms and even with our teen confirmands-- a sponsor is selected who cannot attend the actual ceremony and life just goes on and a proxy stands in and there is no problem. But for some reason with RCIA catechumens and candidates, people get bent out of joint at the idea. I don’t know how the whole “assign a sponsor” who has to attend catechetical sessions got started, but it should not be the norm. The catechumen or candidate should select their sponsor from among Catholics they know. If they have trouble, then the community steps in and helps by offering people who have volunteered to be sponsors for candidates and catechumens who need them.

I’m well aware that when it comes to Baptism & Confirmation the choice of godparent/sponsor is up to the person receiving the sacrament, but RCIA sponsors are often appointed as needed from a team of volunteers. In the end these same volunteers may be chosen as godparent/sponsor, and often are, but not always.

Let’s fine another term for these people. “RCIA sponsor” has no meaning, canonically.

As for requiring 7, that’s a bit much. I don’t doubt that the kids could have one for all of them but I do think the adults each need their own sponsor. I wouldn’t want to be the sponsor for a husband and wife at the same time. That would likely inhibit some of the conversations that should be happening.

If they find a couple of people they are comfortable with, great. If not, one certainly can be the sponsor of all.

She doesn’t have to have a sponsor right out of the gate. Meeting people in the parish during the inquiry process will help with choices. But, ultimately, a sponsor stands witness to the baptism and/or confirmation, must meet canonical requirements, and need not be all of these others things people try to make sponsors be.