You would be surprised at how it works with the right people and the right approach. Part of the problem is that the layman who wants a liturgical reform in his parish, does not quite know what to ask for. I recently attended a listening session with our bishop. There were more than 3000 laymen. There was the bishop, every major superior of men, and many pastors.
There were many laymen asking for liturgical reform, I wanted to shout out the words for them. Unfortunately, I was among the superiors. We were not allowed to speak. Our job was to listen. I knew what they wanted to say, after being on these fora for many years, but they were not saying it. The kept saying that they wanted more reverent masses or that they wanted more meat and potatoes in their homilies.
It was good for them to get up and say this, but they were not quite hitting the nail on the head. There were a few who were very specific. I could tell that they were used to doing this. I’ll give you an example of one woman that truly impressed me.
She began something like this,
“Your Excellency, Reverend Fathers Superiors and Reverend Brothers Superior”
Right there she had our attention. She knew the proper protocol and she was very respectful and polite. Then she continued.
“My wish is for more homilies where the deacons and the priests explain the scriptures, address questions that we have about things such as birth control, confession, divorce and remarriage, abortion, our apostolic duties to the world.”
Now she really had our attention. She was making a very clear list of what she wanted to hear about in homilies. She moved on to catechesis.
“I believe that we need to look at our religious education programs. There is not enough dogma and morals taught with clarity. Our children need to know the Commandments, sacraments, parts of the mass, traditional prayers, the mysteries of the life of Jesus and Mary and more bible.”
OK, now we’re getting somewhere. She’s giving us another list that is very specific. Finally she concludes.
“We understand that many parishes have to be closed because you Reverend Fathers Superior and Brothers Superior have to return to your charism. Our community has evolved from a poor community of immigrants to a middle class community. We understand that we can no longer claim the attention and services of your religious communities, because we don’t have a right to them, as we are not part of the poorest of the poor.”
OK, great. She shows an understanding why the superiors are pulling men from parishes, schools and other institutions and why superiors are closing them. She’s not pointing the finger or complaining. She really has everyone’s attention. She goes for her concluding sentence.
“Are there religious communities out there that serve people like us, the middle class? We miss not seeing the religious in our parishes and our schools. We miss not having our parishes and not having our Catholic schools. I would ask that the diocese consider inviting them to come and take over for those religious who are not allowed to serve us.”
This was beautifully put. She hit all of the marks that she wanted. She was very specific. She was very respectful. She showed that she understood why there were changes around the diocese. She did not point fingers. She even suggested a possible solution,inviting other religious communities that do serve the middle classes in order to keep these parishes and schools open.
This lady ended up being invited to work on one of the teams to implement some of the goal of the diocesan synod. We all agreed that she was the kind of lay person with whom we would be delighted to work. She was intelligent. She knew what was needed. She understood things from our point of view. She presented the needs of the community very clearly and without anger or whining. She offered some solutions.
Like this, I’ve seen lay groups get up and running in different diocese who are not having a synod, but where these lay groups are very clear in what is needed, they understand where bishops and superiors need to focus, but at the same time, they understand the challenges that bishops and superiors face. They offer to create associations, societies and ministries to help. Right now, I’m teaching theology and pastoral care to a group of laymen who approached me and said that they wanted to help Catholic families, especially fathers. They knew that the Franciscans of Life work with poor families and poor fathers.
They asked me if I would work with their families. I said that I was not allowed to help their families, because they have income. I was very sorry. They were very astute. They said, “will you teach us to do what you do, so that we can do it in our communities?” I promised to check the constitutions to make sure that there was no violation. I did and there was nothing against it. Every Monday, for three hours for one year, these men study theology, ministry and Franciscan methods in pastoral care. They go back into their communities and work with families to bring them back to the faith.
It’s a matter of making the request very specific. Try not to ask for too much at one time. In the end, it’s impossible to solve every situation. You can only respond to one need at a time. One by one, you start and you end up responding to many needs. It’s also a matter of knowing how to address the bishop, the priests and the religious in your area. Had these men demanded that I help them, I probably would have said that I didn’t have time. Instead, they were so humble, that I felt that I had to find out if it was legal for me to help them and then to make the time for them.
I always tell the lay folk, we are the Church militant, not the Church belligerent. Approaching bishops, pastors and religious superiors with demands will only get a cold reaction. One cannot force a bishop, pastor a religious superior to do anything. The money threat does not work. I’ve seen that use and have seen the catastrophic consequences.
In one place where the people decided not to support a certain parish because they were not happy, the religious superior called his men on a Friday and told them to vaccate all five parishes and three schools that they had in that diocese. The next day, people came and found the doors locked and the bishop received the keys in the mail. They complained to Rome and Cardinal Ratzinger said that there was nothing that the pope could do, because the people had abdicated their obligation to support the parish and to present their needs and concerns with reverence as required by Canon Law. This was many years ago. But people in that diocese learned a very hard lesson.
I find that individuals who don’t know how to ask and how to offer suggestions that are concrete or who ask for more than can be realistically handled at one time end up being frustrated.
The key is to be clear, use concrete examples, select the top three to begin with. When those are resolved, then select another three, volunteer to help, speak with great reverence, try to show that you understand the position of those in authority, and try to explain how this is important to you. Forget about “We used to do it this way.” That’s not going to buy you sympathy from anyone. We used to do laundry by hand too, but we’re not going back to that . Do you see what I’m saying?
If you’re not sure how to speak the the hierarchy and to religious superiors, read a good biography on St. Francis of Assisi. The man was a master at diplomacy, a master negotiator, and a truly reverent man. Because of these qualities, he was never refused anything. The same is true of Mother Teresa. Read her story and observe her style.
We have to learn how to ask, when to ask and what to ask for.
I hope this gives people some ideas.
Fraternally,
Br. JR, FFV