"Staying" Catholic in Public Schools

[allenr74]

Hello,

My son is entering 8th grade this year and will be off to high school in the fall of 2017. He wants to go to a catholic high school that is 8 miles away. It’s academically rigorous and, while he’s a good student, I don’t know if he’ll be accepted. He needs to take an entrance exam.

There’s another catholic school that’s 17 miles away. The distance plus the tuition pretty much puts it out of our range. Our other option is the local public high school. If my son doesn’t make his first choice it looks like he’ll be going to the public school.

He’s been in catholic school since kindergarten. He likes the religious classes that he gets everyday as well as the daily prayers.

For those in the forums that have children or grand children in public school, what’s been successful for you to “keep them catholic”?

Thanks.

 

[pensmama87]

My oldest is starting public school this year (just kindergarten), but I’ve been discussing this issue with several other families in our parish whose children have attended/continue to attend the same schools.

They have said the two biggest things are actively practicing the faith at home, and having friends outside the home who are Catholics. I think school can end up becoming all of a family’s social life, and then it can be easy to forget the faith or put it on the back burner and bring it back just for Sundays.

At the high school level, there’s hopefully youth group at the parish, or other social activities for Catholic teens, or he can keep on with other non-school activities with the friends from his previous school.

Of course, we’ll see how it goes for us once we get started.

 

[CthgeDelendaEst]

Hello,

My son is entering 8th grade this year and will be off to high school in the fall of 2017. He wants to go to a catholic high school that is 8 miles away. It’s academically rigorous and, while he’s a good student, I don’t know if he’ll be accepted. He needs to take an entrance exam.

There’s another catholic school that’s 17 miles away. The distance plus the tuition pretty much puts it out of our range. Our other option is the local public high school. If my son doesn’t make his first choice it looks like he’ll be going to the public school.

He’s been in catholic school since kindergarten. He likes the religious classes that he gets everyday as well as the daily prayers.

For those in the forums that have children or grand children in public school, what’s been successful for you to “keep them catholic”?

Thanks.

Unless you want to spend several hours each week going over his assignments and “reprogramming” him, do your best to keep him out of the public schools. His mind will get filled with LBGTQ agitprop and anti-male, feminist nonsense there. Have you considered homeschooling?

 

[pensmama87]

Unless you want to spend several hours each week going over his assignments and “reprogramming” him, do your best to keep him out of the public schools. His mind will get filled with LBGTQ agitprop and anti-male, feminist nonsense there. Have you considered homeschooling?

This is highly school- and geographic-area dependent.

(And sorry to say, in areas where this is prevalent in public schools, you can’t rule out the possibility that it’s in the Catholic schools, either.)

 

[CthgeDelendaEst]

(And sorry to say, in areas where this is prevalent in public schools, you can’t rule out the possibility that it’s in the Catholic schools, either.)

I don’t disagree. Which is why I would be very choosy about any Catholic school as well, and advocate homeschooling.

It doesn’t matter what goes on in your home - your level of orthodoxy doesn’t amount to a hill of beans if you send impressionable young minds off to an institution - Catholic or not - when every kid has a portable porn machine in their pocket.

 

[E_7]

I’m 25 years old. My parents sent me to public school from K-12, and then I went to a private Catholic University. My experience at that time was that my parents were teaching us morality (what’s right and what’s wrong), every single day. My parents focused on morality, angels and demons topics, spiritual battles, and the Rosary…every single day. My school and parents work was 30 minutes away from home, and grocery shopping was 1 hour away. Enough time to pray, teach, talk and sing. I felt like a warrior on a mission of to not let myself be defeated by evil spirits that used people as instruments. Of course, I wasn’t liked by my schoolmates. I had my first best friend that was “bought” with money (I used to buy her recess snacks) to suddenly abandon me without explanation 10 years later. Maybe I was too much conservative freak? In total, I had 3 real best friends, one was Catholic and really sweet and conservative, only daughter of the family; the other was a childhood bully that became my best friend of the 3, loyal, mature, and with a mix of liberal and conservative; the third one was a protestant obese girl, super funny and childish, we shared the same secular hobbies.

On the other hand, My husband, 31, went to Catholic private school from K-12 and it was like he never attended a Catholic school. Why? Because his parents taught him little to nothing about Catholicism and morality. He learned the things he knows now by reviewing things by himself after he reverted to the faith and he finished graduate school in a State University.

So for my son, who is still a toddler, I’m thinking of forgetting about Catholic school and focus on other private schools (not public, and not necessarily Catholic ) which have great SAT/ACT average scores above national level and that students from there have been accepted to Ivy League colleges.

 

[pensmama87]

So for my son, who is still a toddler, I’m thinking of forgetting about Catholic school and focuse on other private schools (not public, and not necessarily Catholic ) which have great SAT/ACT average scores above national level and that students from there have been accepted to Ivy League colleges.

You may be pleasantly surprised at some public schools as far as academic excellence goes. There is tremendous variation from district to district. I was public schooled K-12 and about 90% of my graduating class went on to four year colleges. About 15% of us went to Ivy League schools. That doesn’t tell the whole story, of course, because the Ivy League schools aren’t the only good colleges out there, but it gives you a sense that we weren’t anything to sneeze at, academically speaking. And many of those kids who didn’t go on to four-year colleges still made something of themselves and are contributing to society.

The point I’m making is not just to defend public schools, even though I know that I’m probably in the minority as far as schooling decisions go at a place like CAF. The primary point I wish to make is that whether a school is public, private, or Catholic, or even homeschool groups or co-ops, does not tell you enough *by itself *. You need to know the community, you need to be involved with your kids’ lives (while equipping them to run them themselves as adults), and you need to actively teach and practice the faith with your kids.

 

[E_7]

You may be pleasantly surprised at some public schools as far as academic excellence goes. There is tremendous variation from district to district. I was public schooled K-12 and about 90% of my graduating class went on to four year colleges. About 15% of us went to Ivy League schools. That doesn’t tell the whole story, of course, because the Ivy League schools aren’t the only good colleges out there, but it gives you a sense that we weren’t anything to sneeze at, academically speaking. And many of those kids who didn’t go on to four-year colleges still made something of themselves and are contributing to society.

The point I’m making is not just to defend public schools, even though I know that I’m probably in the minority as far as schooling decisions go at a place like CAF. The primary point I wish to make is that whether a school is public, private, or Catholic, or even homeschool groups or co-ops, does not tell you enough *by itself *. You need to know the community, you need to be involved with your kids’ lives (while equipping them to run them themselves as adults), and you need to actively teach and practice the faith with your kids.

Of course! And I agree with you. But the way I would do it (I could change my mind later in the future ), is to take advantage of those tools like k12.niche.com , select the school I like based on academics and SAT/ACT scores FIRST, and then the rest of stuff that you mentioned.

Edit: obviously, teaching morality, philosophy, theology and Catholicism is coming first! But above I was referring what I would do first when the time comes to hunt for schools.

 

[pensmama87]

Of course! And I agree with you. But the way I would do it (I could change my mind later in the future ), is to take advantage of those tools like k12.niche.com , select the school I like based on academics and SAT/ACT scores FIRST, and then the rest of stuff that you mentioned.

Edit: obviously, teaching morality, philosophy, theology and Catholicism is coming first! But above I was referring what I would do first when the time comes to hunt for schools.

I used to teach SAT and ACT courses. If you get a book by the Princeton Review from the library, you can get a perfect score on the test without breaking a sweat. Those scores can indicate a general level of basic knowledge, but over that, all the high scores tell you is whether or not the person is a good test taker. (Generally, very smart kids tend to also be good test takers because they can either catch the "gotcha"s or because they are quick enough or know the subject enough that the "gotcha"s don’t trip them up, but the scores won’t tell you much about curriculum.)

We selected where we would live based on public school district because we live in an area with several that are the best in the state. I saw no reason to spend tens of thousands of dollars on private tuition when I could just live in a great community with a great, orthodox Catholic parish and public schools, community activities, etc. For me it’s a whole package deal.

 

[E_7]

I used to teach SAT and ACT courses. If you get a book by the Princeton Review from the library, you can get a perfect score on the test without breaking a sweat. Those scores can indicate a general level of basic knowledge, but over that, all the high scores tell you is whether or not the person is a good test taker. (Generally, very smart kids tend to also be good test takers because they can either catch the "gotcha"s or because they are quick enough or know the subject enough that the "gotcha"s don’t trip them up, but the scores won’t tell you much about curriculum.)

We selected where we would live based on public school district because we live in an area with several that are the best in the state. I saw no reason to spend tens of thousands of dollars on private tuition when I could just live in a great community with a great, orthodox Catholic parish and public schools, community activities, etc. For me it’s a whole package deal.

That is good info I could use for future references when we finally move any time now, if you don’t mind. Thanks!

 

[pensmama87]

Anyway, OP, if I were you, I’d maybe do a tour of the public school, check out the website, look at the curriculum, see if there are any red flags that pop up. There’s a lot typically on the Internet now - see if the school or PTA has a Facebook page, talk to some of your neighbors whose children go to the school. And see who at your parish sends their kids to the school, and look into the parish resources for teens.

That would be the practical course I would take. It may be that you do your research and decide you will homeschool or even reach for the further school. Or you might know already that some things just won’t be in the budget or won’t fit you. That’s OK. The best you can do is the best you can do. I think it’s great that you’re considering this a year early so you can make the best decision you can for your son.

 

[jilly4ski]

I don’t disagree. Which is why I would be very choosy about any Catholic school as well, and advocate homeschooling.

It doesn’t matter what goes on in your home - your level of orthodoxy doesn’t amount to a hill of beans if you send impressionable young minds off to an institution - Catholic or not - when every kid has a portable porn machine in their pocket.

Eh, I went to public schools my whole life, and I spent several months discussing theology and apologetics with classmates at lunch. (One was a really nice fundamentalist girl another was a girl who claimed she was Catholic, but wasn’t actually because she had never been baptized).

What helped me is that my dad got into philosophy and theology around that time and I was able to explore my faith in a safe non pressured way, as I was able to pick up my dad’s books and read them once he was done. My favorite was Born Fundamentalist Born again Catholic, and I read a bit of the Philokalia. Later in high school after being more secure in my faith I read Scott Hahn’s Lamb’s Supper (which is really good). This of course will only work for intellectually curious student, who is good at individual study.

 

[jilly4ski]

I’m 25 years old. My parents sent me to public school from K-12, and then I went to a private Catholic University. My experience at that time was that my parents were teaching us morality (what’s right and what’s wrong), every single day. My parents focused on morality, angels and demons topics, spiritual battles, and the Rosary…every single day. My school and parents work was 30 minutes away from home, and grocery shopping was 1 hour away. Enough time to pray, teach, talk and sing. I felt like a warrior on a mission of to not let myself be defeated by evil spirits that used people as instruments. Of course, I wasn’t liked by my schoolmates. I had my first best friend that was “bought” with money (I used to buy her recess snacks) to suddenly abandon me without explanation 10 years later. Maybe I was too much conservative freak? In total, I had 3 real best friends, one was Catholic and really sweet and conservative, only daughter of the family; the other was a childhood bully that became my best friend of the 3, loyal, mature, and with a mix of liberal and conservative; the third one was a protestant obese girl, super funny and childish, we shared the same secular hobbies.

On the other hand, My husband, 31, went to Catholic private school from K-12 and it was like he never attended a Catholic school. Why? Because his parents taught him little to nothing about Catholicism and morality. He learned the things he knows now by reviewing things by himself after he reverted to the faith and he finished graduate school in a State University.

So for my son, who is still a toddler, I’m thinking of forgetting about Catholic school and focus on other private schools (not public, and not necessarily Catholic ) which have great SAT/ACT average scores above national level and that students from there have been accepted to Ivy League colleges.

This was my experience too. I was a public school kid k-12 but I went to a private Catholic college. We had a mandatory theology class (Judeo-Christian theology), and the catholic school kids seemed like they had never darkened the door of a church before. They had trouble with basic bible stories like keeping Jacob and Joshua straight. I would assume that they “learned” the material for a test in school, but never learned and lived the material. Where I grew up looking at picture bibles and going to religious education with no tests, fun learning events like VBS (at the Catholic church).

 

[jane_doe]

Hello,

My son is entering 8th grade this year and will be off to high school in the fall of 2017. He wants to go to a catholic high school that is 8 miles away. It’s academically rigorous and, while he’s a good student, I don’t know if he’ll be accepted. He needs to take an entrance exam.

There’s another catholic school that’s 17 miles away. The distance plus the tuition pretty much puts it out of our range. Our other option is the local public high school. If my son doesn’t make his first choice it looks like he’ll be going to the public school.

He’s been in catholic school since kindergarten. He likes the religious classes that he gets everyday as well as the daily prayers.

For those in the forums that have children or grand children in public school, what’s been successful for you to “keep them catholic”?

Thanks.

The world is a very sinful dirty place. Eventually your son will have to face this world (whether it’s next year, college, or post-college).

The most important thing any parent can do is not to hide them from the world (that’s impossible) but to fortify them against the world. Teach your son strength in Christ. Teach him every day, starting first thing in the morning until good-night prayers. Teaching your children what is right is your #1 priority as a parent.

 

[Lea101]

The world is a very sinful dirty place. Eventually your son will have to face this world (whether it’s next year, college, or post-college).

The most important thing any parent can do is not to hide them from the world (that’s impossible) but to fortify them against the world. Teach your son strength in Christ. Teach him every day, starting first thing in the morning until good-night prayers. Teaching your children what is right is your #1 priority as a parent.

I agree. Many parents try to shelter their kids and it can cause their children to be really ignorant/intolerant of people with different beliefs or cause them to be the child that they are so afraid of. Parenting is what shapes your child, not the school IMO.

My parents put me in a Catholic school (over here, catholic schools are different. It’s funded by the government as well, and sex ed covers contraception for instance, the only thing that makes it catholic is morning prayers and mass for certain events). I was exposed to many weird stuff (on accident) when I was younger and my mom was never afraid to tell me bluntly about it. She didn’t shelter me, she just tells me why we should not do those things i saw and why we shouldn’t. I found a book (for 10 year olds!) in my school library and the character was masturbating for goodness’ sake. My mom just sat me down and told me what it is (because I didn’t know what it meant) and told me simply why it was wrong. She didn’t panic and you can tell she was kind of glad that i found out what it was so she could tell me.

I honestly think it helped me to not get influenced by certain stuff. I watched shows like How I Met Your Mother, Friends, The Office and while I enjoyed these shows, I never felt myself thinking that premarital sex or porn was ever ok.

I’m not saying that you should expose your son to all of this on purpose, but you shouldn’t go out of your way to shelter him if he is old enough to understand and talk in English IMO. Your son will probably be exposed to porn when he grows up, Catholic school or not. His faith, which is dependent on his parents, is the thing that’s either going to help him through a porn addiction (if he gets one), or look away whenever he sees porn in general.

And faith is and should be largely taught in the house. Don’t depend on schools for it. If you are parenting right, your child should be almost the same no matter what school he goes to (you need to be involved in his life though, so if he has bad friends, he can turn to you)

Unlike me, your son seems to have an interest for religion, which is amazing. Prayers at home is a very good thing. If he has exams and tests, both can pray before he sits for them. You can talk about the history of the church. From my experience, children will tend to lose that childlike faith and would be more interested to hear about stuff that proves their faith to be true. So books like Rome Sweet Rome might be interesting for him to read when he is older (for example)

 

[CradleJourney]

I agree. Many parents try to shelter their kids and it can cause their children to be really ignorant/intolerant of people with different beliefs or cause them to be the child that they are so afraid of. Parenting is what shapes your child, not the school IMO.

My parents put me in a Catholic school (over here, catholic schools are different. It’s funded by the government as well, and sex ed covers contraception for instance, the only thing that makes it catholic is morning prayers and mass for certain events). I was exposed to many weird stuff (on accident) when I was younger and my mom was never afraid to tell me bluntly about it. She didn’t shelter me, she just tells me why we should not do those things i saw and why we shouldn’t. I found a book (for 10 year olds!) in my school library and the character was masturbating for goodness’ sake. My mom just sat me down and told me what it is (because I didn’t know what it meant) and told me simply why it was wrong. She didn’t panic and you can tell she was kind of glad that i found out what it was so she could tell me.

I honestly think it helped me to not get influenced by certain stuff. I watched shows like How I Met Your Mother, Friends, The Office and while I enjoyed these shows, I never felt myself thinking that premarital sex or porn was ever ok.

I’m not saying that you should expose your son to all of this on purpose, but you shouldn’t go out of your way to shelter him if he is old enough to understand and talk in English IMO. Your son will probably be exposed to porn when he grows up, Catholic school or not. His faith, which is dependent on his parents, is the thing that’s either going to help him through a porn addiction (if he gets one), or look away whenever he sees porn in general.

And faith is and should be largely taught in the house. Don’t depend on schools for it. If you are parenting right, your child should be almost the same no matter what school he goes to (you need to be involved in his life though, so if he has bad friends, he can turn to you)

Unlike me, your son seems to have an interest for religion, which is amazing. Prayers at home is a very good thing. If he has exams and tests, both can pray before he sits for them. You can talk about the history of the church. From my experience, children will tend to lose that childlike faith and would be more interested to hear about stuff that proves their faith to be true. So books like Rome Sweet Rome might be interesting for him to read when he is older (for example)

I agree, too. My daughter (and I) learned the most about the Catholic faith while she attended a public high school and ate lunch with her friends (inc. two evangelicals, one Muslim, one atheist, and one gay guy). When not plotting a revolt against the “injustice” of having too much homework, they discussed a wide variety of current events and what each believed - and so she’d come home and do research to find out not only what the Catholic church taught, but WHY it taught that - and then go back to school ready to state why she believed what she did. I feel it was excellent preparation for the real world and I became so impressed with her ability to discuss and disagree with someone and do so civilly. (Something I wish more adults could learn to manage.)

My other daughter also attend public high school - for her, her passion for music and involvement in our parish music program helped her feel her faith was an intrinsic part of who she was.

Each child is different - and this is true of faith as it is true in everything else. There are no guarantees. All you can do is make the best choice you can, set the best example you can, and be as supportive / communicative as you can.

 

[mommy_k]

We are a catholic school family and please, don’t give up on the Catholic high schools. Have your child take the entrance exams,and also contact the diocese for scholarship and family contribution money to help. There are funds set aside for this.

Many Catholic high schools have introductory programs and tutoring for students to help them as well. These days many kids do not attend catholic high school, so the placement tests are to guage where the child fits in the curriculum, not to turn them away.

Depending on how large the elementary school is, a it is also an adjustment to go from a small catholic elementary enviornment to a large public one. This is the feedback I have heard from friends who switched to public for high school.

I agree with the other posters that if your child has a good home foundation in religion and morality they will be successful in public school if this is what you choose, but be prepared for the different enviornment.

 

[Lookingforjoy]

My daughter (and I) learned the most about the Catholic faith while she attended a public high school and ate lunch with her friends (inc. two evangelicals, one Muslim, one atheist, and one gay guy). When not plotting a revolt against the “injustice” of having too much homework, they discussed a wide variety of current events and what each believed - and so she’d come home and do research to find out not only what the Catholic church taught, but WHY it taught that - and then go back to school ready to state why she believed what she did. I feel it was excellent preparation for the real world and I became so impressed with her ability to discuss and disagree with someone and do so civilly. (Something I wish more adults could learn to manage.)

I was going to chime in and say something similar. I attended public schools my whole life, and I learned some valuable things like defending my position and faith without arguing, and how to walk my own path without disparaging or demeaning others. Meanwhile, my husband went to a Catholic school for K-8, and in addition to being pretty homogenous, about a third of the girls were pregnant before they left high school.

Also, don’t forget that your child may go to public school and have a Catholic teacher - like me I don’t teach religion in my public school, but I also haven’t had to cover any material that was against my morals. I think we do a pretty good job with our students.

 

[CradleJourney]

Also, don’t forget that your child may go to public school and have a Catholic teacher - like me I don’t teach religion in my public school, but I also haven’t had to cover any material that was against my morals. I think we do a pretty good job with our students.

Definitely an advantage I have in my school district is that the area has a strong Christian presence (Catholics, Lutherans, Methodist, Contemporary, etc) along with a conservative Sikh group. Result is that much of the “nonsense” one hears of in other areas is not an issue here - although religious affiliation is kept quiet, it’s obvious the large majority of teachers and administrators are in line with basic Christian beliefs regarding practical morality.

 

[allenr74]

Thank you, everyone, for your thoughtful responses. I appreciate the time taken to explain all your experiences. They brought to light some things I didn’t think of and reinforced some items I was aware of.