Having attended Masses as a non-Catholic since last March, I would like to share some of my experience. At the first parish I attended I always stepped out of the pew to let the pew mates by. Then I would have to get back out of the Communion line and then I would have to step back out to let people back in. Soon most of the people around me realized I wasn’t going up.
At my new parish we have chairs and lot more people and I go at different times now. So I figured I would just stay and let people go by me. I would on occasion need to encourage someone to go by me. So once some sensitive person was also staying in the rows and took offense and another time someone had trouble slipping by.
I never know what to do now.
But I have always found that I was never the only one not going up. I don’t want to go up for a blessing so I have never tried that, and I am not the smallest of bears, so getting around me could be a problem.
I arrive on time, early even, so I feel obligated to sit in the middle of the row.
You’re very kind to consider other’s feelings! I’m sorry if anyone is making you feel uncomfortable. I do understand what you mean about “feeling obligated to sit in the middle of the row,” but I’m not sure, in the case of a row of chairs, that you have to feel that way.
Although my church has pews, perhaps the following might still apply, and help in some way:
For medical reasons, I need to sit near the back, at the end of the pew close to the side door
(not near the center aisle.) This way, in case I must take medication or feel unwell, it will be a minimum number of people who will be disturbed.
I arrive very early, genuflect and pray, placing a small white scarf under a hymnal next to me on the pew, so that if I do have to stand to allow people to pass, I won’t lose my place.
I then sit quietly, and put the kneeler up well before people begin to arrive.* Before Mass begins,* I will get out of my seat once or twice as people settle into the middle, and I don’t mind standing discreetly to the side for a while, (instead of getting up and down over and over.) Yet, because many people go down the
center aisle, they fill up the middle of my pew without my having to get up over and over.
If people do enter the side, door, I have more room to get up and allow to pass
because I* am* at the end of the pew. My heart goes out to young parents struggling with babies, diaper bags and bottles, and being where I am at the end makes it easier to let them pass. I always smile at anyone passing by to make sure they know they are welcome. If I were to see an elderly person arriving late, I would give up my seat entirely, but our ushers are swift, and very good to ensure that everyone is treated with the utmost respect and I have never seen anyone standing for long.
I would think that whether the church has pews or rows of chairs, a person could choose to sit at the end, rather than feel hemmed in and troubled on both sides all during the Mass. In this way, all can concentrate on Christ in the beauty of the Mass.
Here’s something humorous: Years ago, I once chose to sit in the middle of the pew, thinking it was the right thing to do. A large group arrived, coming down the center aisle, “forcing” me way left of center in the pew, nearly to the end as I accommodated them. A few moments later, another group arrived on my left, forcing me back to the right again, where all of us were a bit crowded! Still, we all smiled and all was well.
Arriving early (as you also do) is the best way to find a place where you can pray and reflect with the minimum of “ups and downs.”
If you don’t mind sitting at the end of the row of chairs, you could place a light jacket on the chair back so that if you have to stand and let people pass, your placed is 'saved."
Perhaps you might try different places such as the very* front* of the church. Very few latecomers march themselves all the way up to the front of the church once Mass has started!
I welcome you to go up and get that blessing though! I was shy about it when I went through RCIA years ago, but I wished I’d gone up sooner. I hope you will feel free to try it. Until then, it’s very kind of you to be so considerate of other people. Compassion and consideration are everything! You are very welcome at Mass, and I salute your compassion for others.
Blessings,
Kathryn Ann:harp:
)
Also the priest did say it wasn’t really appropriate in a presentation I was at so I really shouldn’t go up. So I may try going out of the row of the chairs and going back in, and trying to be at one end of the aisle or another.