HomeschoolDad:
also the very real likelihood that any child conceived, would be adversely affected by the psychotropic drugs that the woman has to take.
I know YOU know this, but, we don’t require married people to avoid children because of birth defects, even fatal ones. We would do our best to provide the best care for a child abnormalities.
I realize there is something very deep in the “Catholic DNA” that says the conception and birth of a child is always a good thing, regardless of the conditions or circumstances. I don’t deny that for an instant. We as Catholics are not allowed to second-guess our own existence, or that of anyone else — “that person should never have been born” (or conceived, if you will). You will hear this sentiment in the secular world
all the time.
This said, I would never recommend that a person, who can reasonably foresee that a child of theirs would have massive problems in life,
shouldn’t forego having children, and never bring them into the world in the first place. Again, the secular world would say “amen, brother”, but many faithful Catholics would take pause. I am sure you are aware, as well, that there are some ultra-traditionalist Catholics who refuse to use NFP, and refuse to abstain entirely, rather, they accept whatever children they have, whenever they have them, no matter how many they have. As long as I’m not asked to help support these children, I am entirely good with this — the fathers of these families often have very good jobs, and women who want to have a lifestyle such as this, seek out “high-quality” men who can afford to make this happen. I say, the more traditionalist Catholics in the world, the better.
But not to digress. If a person chooses to bring a child into the world, even though it can be reasonably foreseen that this child is going to have great problems or challenges, I’m not going to get in the way of that. “Not to judge” cuts both ways. But, on the other hand, if a person says “if I ever bear (or father) a child, they’ll have problems, their life will be very difficult, they’ll be sick (or impaired, or disabled, or whatever), I think I’ll just remain childless” — as long as they don’t use immoral means to this end — I don’t have a problem with that either. I think this could fall under the rubric, echoed by three Popes, of “grave” or “serious” reasons to avoid pregnancy. It’s much more than “I just don’t want children”.
A college classmate of mine, whose family had serious genetic issues — he was basically OK, but both his brother and sister were gravely impaired — told me that if he ever married, he would have himself vasectomized, so that he could never father children and pass on these genes. I told him that I couldn’t agree with his methods, but I entirely understood his reasoning. (He wasn’t Catholic, though he would attend Mass with me from time to time.) If I were a priest, and a penitent came to me with a scenario anything like this —
as long as they were willing to follow the Church’s teachings — I would tell them to be at peace.
