Our marriage is over. I am despartely heart broken and can not believe the great Lord did not intervene. I have cried out for 5 months and nothing good. Except the fact I found out that is Steve is a cheater. I have lost my faith in the Lord and I am so angry at the world. Obviously, God does not care!!!
We do not always know what God has in store for us. My ex was an adulturer, the divorce has just gone through after 2.5yrs of separation. I felt as a Catholic that God would turn my ex into a nice man, but nothing seemed to be happening. I left, was unsure because I was a Catholic, but then God showed me some of his plan for me. After I left, and it was very hard to do, I really found God. I realised that I could not have worked for God in my marriage, and also going through the stress and tears of a divorce has given me strength that I didn’t before possess and that new found strength is what has assisted me to be who I am presently.
It is painful. I was still crying about his affairs 18months after I left him. Sometimes I still get upset with God as I feel I wasted my twenties with this man.
God does care, he showed me he cared, and if you give God a chance you will see he does. One day you might realise that his plan for you if different to what you thought it would be and although you are grieving now, with time you might find a happiness you didn’t realise you could have. He may very well have answered your prayers by taking you out of a marriage with a man who might have caused you years of grief with his adulturous behaviour.
God does hear us, and he does answer our prayers, just not always in the way we hope or think is best for us, and not always when we think they will be answered.
I have felt like you on and off for many years. That God did not care, but over time I realised he was shaping my trust in him. As I was prepared to keep a bit more faith, and add a bit more faith at a time, my faith in him is quite strong now.
At the moment I am still going through a messy financial settlement with my ex. I have asked God over and over to humble my ex. However all I seemed to get was a long drawn out settlement that kept being drawn out, I was left with no money at times, and I have been quite distressed over it. But now, after 2.5yrs I have realised that I had to experience this in order to give God an opportunity to humble my husband. I have to report my ex to the tax office for tax fraud. So I have been thinking, ok, this will kill my ex as he is sooo arrogant, and I feel that this is one way God is going to humble my ex, but I just didn’t know I was going to be in the middle of it. However I’ve kept my faith, been very hard at times, but my point is, with time and faith, sometimes the reasons why God acts the way he does, in the time he does might be revealed to us. So while we think he isn’t acting on our prayers, believe me, he is, but the timing or lack of feeling God is listening is often so we have an opportunity to gain strength, faith, hope, patience, trust etc. But if we resist the opportunities to learn those things and others, we can delay his action I believe. My mum’s lack of faith has caused her to be miserable for most of the last 50yrs and she has stagnated in her ability to heal and find true spiritual happiness. But your opportunity to keep your faith in God might give you an opportunity to live a happier life for the next 50yrs.
Healing takes time, and sometimes faith does, and it needs us to be prepared to give it a chance. Do not let s…t that happens hold you back from union with God and heaven. And one way s…t that happens does this is by getting us to lose our faith.
God didn’t save your marriage (although one doesn’t know if he will later intervene) but Renata, maybe God has given you an opportunity to save your soul. Maybe he is teaching you strength so you can be a strong witness for him. Who knows, but all you have to do is keep your faith, and one day you might know the reasons to the big question we often ask of God ‘why?’.
The hurt doesn’t always fade with time, but it does get easier, and you will always have God.
Divorce is like a death, they say, and the pain just as horrible. But please don’t despair. I know that God cares for you…and I’m praying that you will find peace in your life…God has a Divine plan for you. It’s just one without your husband in it, for whatever the reason, at this point. His non-intervention could truly be a blessing, I know it doesn’t feel like that now, but keep your ear close to God and listen to His words of wisdom, and where He is leading you next.