STILL struggling with 'wives obey your husbands'

[Liberanosamalo]

God created Adam and stuck him in charge of the animals. Even let him name them. Then God in His infinite wisdom, realized it probably wasn’t too good to leave Adam all alone. Left to his own devices, Adam would realize all the animals were out to get him, and would end up in a cabin in Montana with a stockpile of gold and guns. So He created Eve. As his helpmate.

And He gave Eve her own set of skills and wisdom and compassion. And curiosity.

Go back to Genesis. Eve got led astray by the serpent, and Adam, not exercising his authority correctly, followed along. And God kicked them both out of Paradise. Oops.

See, the moral of that story is, the man doesn’t always exercise his authority in a rightful way. And the women shouldn’t blindly follow him. When she’s off track, she can’t necessarily count on HIM to lead her back. The blind leading the blind and all that. Our fallen human nature.

Add in the fact your husband is an agnostic/atheist and he’s completely without the kind of compass someone who might otherwise OBEY him would be able to trust. You are NOT ensured that every “idea” that pops into his head, unfiltered by grace or the sacraments, is not from The Evil One. YOU need to be vigilant that his fear-based thinking isn’t more dangerous because of that. God says “Do not be afraid.” Satan says, “Be afraid.” God says “Trust ME.” Satan says “Be your own God. Depend on yourself.”

Unless you are absolutely sure the genesis of every one of his ideas and orders and suggestions is from the Truth of God and his own submission to God, then you are not required blindly to follow them. The ideal is for a wife to submit to a man who submits to God. If the first part of that chain is not in effect, nothing good will follow from the rest.

Just my humble opinion.

Don’t move. Keep some extra cans of soup on hand. Comes in handy during blizzards. But the survivalist stuff was going around 20 years ago, and I had a husband who was deep into that. Oddly enough, he has abandoned his faith too. Spent all his life trusting the authors of newsletters more than he trusted God. Glad I didn’t waste 20 years in a cabin in Montana eating berries and squirrels because he was sure the cities would be taken over by throngs of people demanding HIS money and burning his house down.

I mean, really…

Hint for non-married people: if your date starts talking about stockpiling weapons and food and all that, proceed with extreme caution. My xh, along with being a complete narcissist, also had anxiety issues and a huge level of paranoia about other people controlling him and the government being his enemy. His big problem was he couldn’t control himself. Part of him knew that and couldn’t handle it or fix it, so he projected it all onto everyone around him. That worked out just great!

The other poster was right… someday we’ll all be dead, no matter if we go to that cabin in the wilderness or not. What good is it if we gain the whole world (or keep our own little corner of it) and suffer the loss of our immortal soul?

In this respect, your first obligation is to obey God and take care of your family in a responsible way. Left to his devices, your kids will be eating twigs and dried pork patties and not going to school for the rest of their childhoods. You’ll need that stockpile of gold later to pay for their therapy sessions.

 

[ac_claire]

Yes! it uses the same word. “Mulieres viris suis subditæ sint”

In Greek too they use the same words for both verses.

Ok thanks. Interesting that they translated it into two different words. I still think there’s not much of a difference between the terms in these contexts lol.

 

[Cristiano]

Ok thanks. Interesting that they translated it into two different words. I still think there’s not much of a difference between the terms in these contexts lol.

I think that the idea is that Catholics must use reason and faith in their understanding of the scriptures. As you say I do not think that there is too much difference in the words. I just enjoy the digging because it helps me to understand better.

 

[ac_claire]

To go back to the OP’s situation…I’ve been thinking a lot about this, since I do know some people who think like your husband does. (They aren’t Catholic either.) The command to submit/obey/however you want to term it is supposed to be in all things except for sin. My own judgment leads me to believe that the “sin exception” might also cover anything that would be harmful to you or your children. So, if you came to that same conclusion you might want to consider whether or not your husband’s wishes could be so risky as to be harmful. You gotta think, you’re a grown adult who can say “no, this is too much” but your kids are young and innocent and would need you to protect them.

Not commenting on his philosophies so much as his application of them in his plans for the future. It’s a tough call though, as to whether or not his plans would qualify as “dangerously unreasonable” or not. Would probably take a lot of discernment to figure that out. If the plans are not just objectively dangerous, then I’d think you would need to just trust him.

 

[Mickey_Finn]

rwillinborg. Obedient, submissive? These are similiar enough for this topic. I think you would be fulfilling your duty by getting your husband to a competent physician, Your general practitioner should be able to give you a referall. When he’s on an even keel. Then he can lead and you can follow. There’s nothing wrong with disaster preparedness. Many people could do with a little more. But his plan, as you’ve laid it out. Doesn’t make alot of sense. So, playing into it would be a mistake in my opinion.

Good luck.

 

[ElisabethM]

. . . Not commenting on his philosophies so much as his application of them in his plans for the future. It’s a tough call though, as to whether or not his plans would qualify as “dangerously unreasonable” or not. Would probably take a lot of discernment to figure that out. If the plans are not just objectively dangerous, then I’d think you would need to just trust him.

I think this is it. I was just watching a film on Padre Pio where he is told by the Guardian Father that the was taking control of the hospital he was building with the Dr. Sanguinetti. Dr. Sanguinetti said, “This is unjust! You can’t let them do this.” Padre Pio answered, “You can never go wrong with obedience.” And the motives of the Guardian Father and the order, according to the film, were wrong, BUT, I think the point is obedience here would not result in mortal danger for anyone.

I would only refuse to obey my husband if it would put myself or my children in mortal or spiritual danger, such as if he said we are leaving the Catholic Church. I would also refuse in the case of the husband mentioned here because it would put the family in mortal danger.

An area of obedience I had to struggle with was with a priest who demanded things of me that were not right, but did not put me or my family in spiritual or mortal danger. Much the case as with Padre Pio, I chose to obey (though, I’m sorry to say, not as graciously as Pio).