Stopping Masturbating

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Finally, someone who understands context. Thanks for your support! 👍
 
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Traces95z said:
If you were hungry and I told you, “Go eat a big dinner, that will cure your problem.” Objectively speaking, it would cure the problem for most people. Now you can say there might be some or even many people who would still be hungry, but objectively speaking, telling someone to eat a big meal would be good advice.
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That’s the problem right here : you’re indirectly comparing a spouse to dinner - to something you can use to fill your needs. That’s complete objectification of another human being.

I can’t think of many worse ways of objectifying someone than marrying them with the expectation that they will be available to satisfy one’s sexual urges, be it the main reason why you marry or one reason among many others.

The root of sexual sins lies within an individual, and it isn’t realistic to expect someone else to cure it. Only the affected person can, with the help of God and, in some cases, the help of medical professionals.
 
As I expected, the principle of the analogy was lost. Instead another literal translation.
 
I never said the reason a man is chaste is solely because of his wife…Here we go again! This is a Catholic site. I understand the OP is a practicing Catholic. I would hope he would find a Catholic woman who also understands Catholic teaching whereby both spouses support each other in this vain.

That period of abstinence is an issue that the couple can deal with then. In the meantime, the spouses enjoy one another and his lustful disposition he had as a single man struggling, should be under control for obvious reasons…and objectively speaking. Not everyone, even with much prayer can overcome constant sexual arousal. It is as physiological as it is psychological. Sometimes, its best to hope that one day marriage will curb one’s sexual appetite. It does just that for most. The bible even addresses this issue. Its interesting that no one has explained what they think the passage means. But until marriage, prayer, avoiding occasions of sin, and I would add fasting, are the common remedies given.

We practice NFP, so yes, I have gone two to four weeks. Not fun but not a problem. Extreme situations as you described often aren’t a reliable debate tactic.
 
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Poor Traces95z - and poor St. Paul, St. Augustine, St. Thomas… going on about one of the three goods of matrimony as if it were an actual… good, or something! How dare they?

If the OP is having pain, he should talk to a doctor. Mild discomfort might be normal, but feeling like you’re being stabbed is not. Usually the body takes care of itself while one is unconscious.

The standard cures, other than marriage, are the following:

Prayer and the Sacraments
Distracting oneself with work, recreation, and strong male friendships
Removing near occasions of sin as far as reasonably possible (computer by the window, open doors, cold showers, monitoring programs like Covenant Eyes, etc.)
Laughing a lot - the overflow of rational delight drives out lust
Fasting more - the body wants to have food more than sex
Exercising more
 
To the OP - If you’re struggling with porn, I highly recommend a programme called Covenant Eyes. It’s not free, but it’s a small price to pay for freedom. All you need is one friend you can use as an accountability partner.
 
For what it’s worth, I can attest that I haven’t masturbated since getting married 19 years ago; we also went four years without relations at one point (after the birth of our youngest). Obviously it takes prayer and commitment to remain chaste, but the grace of marriage certainly helped. Didn’t some of the Fathers posit the quieting of concupiscence as an argument for marriage?
 
Would Father (or any vowed celibate OR chaste single person) care to offer guidance to those on the forums who struggle with this sin? I’ve always wanted to ask a priest ‘how they do it’ but never had sufficient anonymity to so 😁
 
You could check out the hundreds of threads on CAF that have already tried answering that question by using the search feature actually.
 
If you don’t understand my “ways of expression,” then ask! Instead, you all jumped on my advice as being horrible. None of you took the time to try to understand what I was saying, nor did any of you accept my comments against your presumptions. A couple members who got here late understood exactly what I meant and agreed with me. For the rest of you, there was no attempt to try to understand the context of my post. You read the first sentence of my post and held me to the fire for it without any attempt to understand what I meant.

Note: My “hair buns” comment was an expression. I didn’t mean it literally. If I said, “Don’t get your panties in a bunch,” would you presume I think you all literally wear women’s undergarments? Don’t be so fragile.
 
Breaking down your problems one by one:
  1. Some men do get pain like this, it can be normal. Only a doctor can tell you if it is or not.
  2. Erections for no reason slow down as you get older but they don’t stop for every man. They also don’t mean anything.
  3. Arousal for no reason is a different matter. Chances are there are reasons and they started earlier than you thought. When arousal happens, start thinking about the last few hours and see what led you to this point. Chances are you have some behaviors you mentally associate with masturbation.
  4. Go to confession anyways. It may seem like a private issue but Christ already saw you give in. You’re not telling Him anything He doesn’t already know.
 
You seem to equate someone not accepting your opinion with not understanding your opinion. You can say an an orange is purple or blue all you like, But it doesn’t make it true.

You kept repeating your opinion and when people did not accept it because it was flawed, you kept repeating it, and adding insults to those trying to explain.
 
Traces95z said:
Problem is he didn’t attempt to understand what I meant. Instead he and others just told me I gave horrible advice. Even after I exhaustively defended my comments against the many presumptions and generalities, there was still no attempt to say, “okay, that’s what you meant.”
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I think you’re just wrong, though. One mans opinion. Marriage, and with it the availability of licit sex, does not “cure” masturbation. People struggle with masturbation for a multitude of reasons. Not to mention that even within a marriage there are going to be times when your spouse is unavailable, unable or simply not in the mood. You’ll still need your ability to control yourself post marriage.

And I know this isn’t what you meant, but some people might interpret your advice to mean “rush into marriage just so you can have sex.” Even if that “cured” sexual immorality it would bring on a dozen other problems.
 
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