Stopping Masturbating

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Boy, you guys are funny.

Never said it was magic.
Never said it was the only answer.
Never said it was THE answer.
Never said it solves all problems.
Never said married men don’t struggle.
Never said it was the only solution to a problem.

Most Catholic married men to good wives don’t have this problem, even if they did prior to marriage.
 
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Your silly. THOSE PROBLEMS could only refer to the problems like the poster posted!!! We’re not talking about anything else! lol
 
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You keep moving the goalposts from general to particular to avoid having to accept responsibility for the correction that’s being offered to your position.
 
Okay, so if you’re referring to sexual temptation in general, you’re wrong, since marriage isn’t the cure-all for them.

If you’re referring specifically to the problems of the OP, and only his problems, then how could you possible correctly diagnose them and prescribe marriage as the cure for his exact situation?

Again, I have to wonder if maybe you’re being obtuse.
 
Yep, you’re clearly not arguing in good faith. You won’t even consider what I’m saying. You just keep changing the emphasis so you don’t have to admit you’re wrong.

Good evening to you.

-Father ACEGC
 
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I responded in point to what you said. Problem is you are arguing in generalities that I never made.
 
No, all you did was to claim you never said that marriage fixed all problems, when you literally said that, and then you kept changing what you meant by what you said any time someone corrected you. And then you were rude to me, a priest, and others on here.

Also, you never answered my question. Are you married?
 
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Here is where you said, and I quote:
Traces95z said:
Get married. It solves all those problems.
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Now, I know you don’t think I’m so stupid as to think you meant “marriage solves all problems.” So when I call you out for saying marriage solves all “those problems,” that’s when you move to “I never said marriage solves all problems,” which I know you didn’t say. And when I specify “those problems,” as being “sexual sin and temptation,” you tell me you never said that. And indeed you never said that exactly, but that’s how pronouns work.

You keep moving the goalposts. Which makes me wonder if you’re really interested in discussion, or just chainyanking.
 
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Yes but when I told you that marriage doesn’t solve THOSE PROBLEMS you objected to that. Basically your position is that you’re right, no matter what anyone says. I am obstinate in that I’m going to keep speaking what is true and prudent.

So tell me, are you married?
 
Married for five years. I too had problems like that of the OP. Marriage indeed cured this problem. M free for five years. Thanks be to God. And I didn’t marry just because of this but it was one of the many reasons to marry. How can this be wrong?
I offered this to give the OP some hope in the future as he sounded sincere it trying to get away from it. I would bet if he someday marries a good Catholic woman, it will no longer be an issue. In the meantime he has my and other’s suggestions.
 
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Traces95z said:
Reread previous post. Once again, “THOSE PROBLEMS” meant those that the poster was describing. Why can’t you adjust your thinking to my intended meaning? Why are you so obistinate?
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No matter how many times we read the posts, it’s still wrong. As has been explained, marriage does not solve the problem the OP was describing.

And please stop chastising a priest who’s explaining your error.
 
Because your experience is not universal. I know people for whom your experience is the case.

But I’ve been ordained for four years and I’ve heard literally thousands upon thousands of confessions. So I know that married men confess to sexual sin with some regularity. And I know that marriage isn’t a fix for sexual sin of itself.

And further, I know Church teaching that that can’t be the reason you get married. If your intention is not to have a permanent, fruitful, and exclusive union with a particular person, your intention is defective. You might have other reasons, of course.

But “just get married” is really terrible advice for someone struggling with sexual sin. And you’d think I know what I’m talking about.
 
I try to stay out of discussions on this particular topic — it boils down to three basic ideas:
  • In the objective order, it is mortally sinful
  • Due to the very nature of the sin, though, there can be factors that mitigate culpability
  • But avoid near occasions of sin and go to confession each and every time
I only “jump in” here because just “getting married” is not that simple anymore, for a man who desires it. Many women have satisfying, fulfilling lives and careers, and are in no particular hurry to get married. In our culture, their expectations tend to be very high — marriage is more like a “capstone” than a “beginning”, the icing on the cake, so to speak. Catholic women who accept and want to follow all of the teachings of the magisterium regarding married life are relatively rare — and why would you want to marry someone who isn’t willing to follow all of those teachings? That’s asking for trouble if there ever were such a thing.

I’ve just got to say it, starting from “ground zero” of being single with no one in particular in mind, and getting to the point of finding someone who wants to marry you and will help you towards heaven — not hinder you — is a major undertaking. It can be a real “hat trick”. Sadly, not everyone succeeds at it. CatholicMatch is one of your better bets.
 
Traces95z said:
The bible states to marry if you are burning with lust. I meant it the same way the bible does. Of course it is not the ONLY reason to marry.
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Not lecturing here, or judging - just adding some ancient perspective. Staring my 40th in the face, it is so much more than a physical relationship. Sure that is part of it, but what to do when life changes? When sexual desire no longer matches?

Marriage also includes “for worse, for poorer and in sickness” - even though we may not hear that or pay attention to it. It is not the solution; the end to a problem. It is the beginning of a sacramental life together with all the ups and the many downs.

It is love - which desires the good of the other and which does not count the cost. Is there sexual union? Certainly but one can go to the red light district if that is what is desired.
 
You are suggesting that for something to be “a” solution that it is the only reason for doing it. That is an incorrect assumption. My advice to the OP suggests that there is hope. Marriage should quench the fire that affects men. It suggests as much in the bible. The OP can look forward to one day marrying and which should alleviate, objectively speaking, the physiological yearning he is struggling with. If it doesn’t solve the problem for a man when married then there are others issues involved. The OP did not indicate anything other than a physiological difficulty.

Here is an analogy that may get lost on some of you, but loosen your hair buns and try to understand the principle:

If you were hungry and I told you, “Go eat a big dinner, that will cure your problem.” Objectively speaking, it would cure the problem for most people. Now you can say there might be some or even many people who would still be hungry, but objectively speaking, telling someone to eat a big meal would be good advice. But if the person is unable at this time to eat a big meal then one would give the advice on what to do in the meantime…This I did for the OP.

I never suggested that one should marry ONLY to avoid masturbating.
I never suggested that getting married is a magic cure-all.
I never suggested that marriage doesn’t have other problems.
I never suggested that marriage solves all problems.
I never suggested that the decision to marry should be solely or even primarily to avoid masturbation.
I never suggested that a marriage is centered around a physical relationship.
I never suggested that a marriage should not first and foremost be about love.
etc., etc. etc…

How you all came up with these inferences based on eight words is beyond me. Even after explaining what I meant, you all still won’t accept my explanation.

And “those problems” meant those problems the OP was having, obviously. But some of you won’t accept that explanation either!

Indeed, a marriage should be based on love and a desire for one’s spouse to get to heaven. How you all would quickly assume otherwise based on my post is beyond me.

When I was struggling with this addiction, I lived with regret for many years. It negatively affected my life in many ways. One day I got on my knees and pleaded with God. “I can’t take this anymore. I will live a celibate life out of love for you, but I can’t struggle with lust anymore. I can’t do it anymore. Please either help me to no longer have this feeling or help me get married.” One month later, at age 48, a woman contacted me on a Catholic dating site, we fell in love, and married two years later. I have been chaste in the five years I have been married.

If the OP has a calling to be married and that will serve him well for a variety of reasons, his sexual issue not withstanding, then as the bible says, “It is good to be married”.
 
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