Struggling with life

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Struggling1

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Hello everyone. I am a 27 year old raised Catholic turned to atheism/agnosticism honestly not a whole lot of belief in anything. I have been in a close to two week panic attack trying to figure out what I believe. I struggle so heavily with skepticism yet all I want is to believe. I am trying baby steps to see what I find I attended adoration and have said the rosary a few days in a row now simply begging for god to prove or reveal his existence again to me. I know we need to believe in faith but I am so struggling in this area. People are so materialistic and skeptical these days and it has led to the destruction of my beliefs. I don’t know entirely why I’m posting besides I need prayer please pray for the conversion of my soul.
 
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Immense hell that haunts me to the very depths of who I am.
 
We all have dark moments. I was a HUGE atheist when I was kid, i actually made fun of people who believed in God.

Your struggle is a noble one, and it’s very possible you’ll grow because of it, and it’s possible God will intervene to show you what life is really about. These days may just be among the best of your spiritual life
 
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You might be interested to know that the Church teaches:

http://w2.vatican.va/content/pius-x...nts/hf_p-xii_enc_12081950_humani-generis.html

4. Furthermore the human intelligence sometimes experiences difficulties in forming a judgment about the credibility of the Catholic faith, notwithstanding the many wonderful external signs God has given, which are sufficient to prove with certitude by the natural light of reason alone the divine origin of the Christian religion. For man can, whether from prejudice or passion or bad faith, refuse and resist not only the evidence of the external proofs that are available, but also the impulses of actual grace.

Many prayers for you.

If you can purchase a book, I highly recommend Trent Horn’s new book “Why We’re Catholic”.

You can also watch some of his debates


My son recently introduced me to this resource, while it is not exclusively Catholic it has some great resources: http://escapingatheism.com/
 
I just want so badly for him to exist even though everyone so greatly tried to disapprove his existence. It’s so hard when all I have learned is scientific methods to approaching issues and the metaphysical requires more. Thank you for the words of encouragement I’m going mad debating this with myself and it helps.
 
Struggling1 said:
I am trying baby steps to see what I find I attended adoration and have said the rosary a few days in a row now
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Welcome to CAF, @Struggling1. It seems that God is already proving Himself in your life. Sometimes, when we neglect HIm too long., He needs to get drastic to get our attention to return. Anxiety and panic, as uncomfortable as they are, often serve as a great wake up call. It is good timing that the call has come to you at the beginning of Lent, as this season is all about returning to the Lord.
Struggling1 said:
simply begging for god to prove or reveal his existence again to me
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How would you know this happened?

Many here at CAF will be praying for you. May God richly bless your Lenten journey this year, and may He reveal His unlimited love and mercy.
 
When I was going through something similar, I learned about Mother Theresa’s experience. Take a look…

In the darkness . . . Lord, my God, who am I that you should forsake me? The child of your love — and now become as the most hated one. The one — you have thrown away as unwanted — unloved. I call, I cling, I want, and there is no one to answer . . . Where I try to raise my thoughts to heaven, there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul. Love — the word — it brings nothing. I am told God lives in me — and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul.

Doubt is normal, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I’ll be praying for you. Feel free to reach out if you’d like to talk more. I’ll be happy to listen 🙂
 
I have no idea that’s why it haunts me I want to believe but I am quick to discredit anything that points to god. I don’t know if it’s fear or hatred or what emotion haunts me. I’m just so stuck in needing proof and it’s not something I’ll find so I am struggling.
 
Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to respond. I feel quite amazed at how many people are responding and it feels good to know I’m not Alone I hope to one day find Christ.
 
Thanks for the welcome to the forums and for the in depth info as well! I guess even a small personal oddity that means something to me. I guess I don’t even know what I’d be looking for. A sign of how silly my mind is skeptically.
 
I will I have a trip setup to Washington DC to go see the fransciscan monastery maybe have confession and maybe have a chance to talk to them. I also will stop by the cathedral of jp2. I heard his intercession has helped many skeptics.
 
Dude it’s like I’m looking in a mirror. My mother calls me Descartes because I’m skeptical about so many things. And I literally spend hours debating things with myself. Most recently, the morality of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings.

If it helps, take into account that the scientific method you, correctly, admire so much was given a massive impulse by Christianity throughout history. The Big Bang theory was formulated by a catholic priest who was a physicist. Medieval science owes a huge debt to the Catholic Church with people like Nicole Oresme and Roger Bacon. Genes were also discovered by a catholic priest, Gregor Mendel
 
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Thank you for responding it’s the hardest part! The mind wants to be skeptical but the heart needs faith. Without a gods existence all life is meaningless. That just doesn’t seem right the culmination of 13 billion years of creation for nothing. Why do we even create things why try at all. But with a god there’s a purpose. A path to better yourself and people seem at peace. I still struggle but will reflect heavily on your comment thank you.
 
You seem to be approaching revelation! Keep at it! I truly hope your journey to finding faith is successful!
 
I will keep posting here throughout my journey it’s just so hard! I need better resolve.
 
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