Struggling with Mass attendance

[Rence]

Please give the citation from Canon Law or the Catechism to support your position.

We are excused from Mass for a serious reason, such as illness or some other condition or situation which makes it impossible for us to attend. Then it it good to watch a televised Mass, but not required. “Going through a tough period in life” does not qualify as sufficient reason.

Edit to add: This is not a criticism of the OP, but deals only with the suggestion that watching a Mass on TV is a substitute for attending in person.

Depression is a serious reason. She needs to see a doctor and be treated for it.

 

[kmuestwin]

You have no idea of that. She should talk to her priest. What she is describing is clinical depression. Depression is an illness just like any other, and can be quite debilitating and needs to be treated. Her priest may decide to give her a dispensation until she sees a doctor.

OP, you might benefit from committing to attending Mass with a friend rather than trying to go alone and beating yourself up for not being able to.

I would shy away from diagnosing someone over the Internet but you are correct. She needs to discuss these feelings with her priest and a medical professional.

 

[nodito]

When you receive Communion worthily, you enter into communion with the whole Church. Perhaps you could see your reception of Communion as a way of joining yourself with your husband when you can’t be with him physically.

The people suggesting that watching a televised Mass would fulfill your Sunday obligation are incorrect. But it is also true that you may not be commiting mortal sin if you are depressed. I’d advise seeking the counsel of a good priest and then talking with a doctor.

I’m sorry that you’re hurting. God bless.

 

[jilly4ski]

You have no idea of that. She should talk to her priest. What she is describing is clinical depression. Depression is an illness just like any other, and can be quite debilitating and needs to be treated. Her priest may decide to give her a dispensation until she sees a doctor.

OP, you might benefit from committing to attending Mass with a friend rather than trying to go alone and beating yourself up for not being able to.

Actually since watching Mass on tv never satisfies one’s obligation, one does not need to see a priest about that. But she should go see a priest about her feelings, and go to confession, the priest in the confessional might tell her that her obligation was excused or not.

We don’t know if the OP is suffering from depression. If she thinks she is, she should see a doctor and go in for counseling.

I agree with the suggestion to find a friend to go to Mass with. Or try to go to a daily Mass, first, where most people are there by themselves. It won’t feel so weird. This might put you in the habit of going to Mass, and it won’t seem so lonely.

 

[Rence]

I would shy away from diagnosing someone over the Internet but you are correct. She needs to discuss these feelings with her priest and a medical professional.

Yes she does need to speak with a priest and a medical professional, and until she does, no one is able to ‘determine’ for her if she has serious reason or not for missing Mass. The only information we have to go on is what she says, and what she says raises big blinking red flags…

 

[Rence]

Actually since watching Mass on tv never satisfies one’s obligation, one does not need to see a priest about that.

Yes, watching Mass on TV can and does satisfy one’s obligation if the priest determines that it is appropriate, for example, a shut in who can’t get to Mass. A priest can give them dispensation. I know people who have such dispensation and the priests have recommended they watch on TV because they are unable to make it to Mass. One does need to see a priest about that unless they are certain they are not obligated (by their limitations, whatever they are) to attend Mass.

 

[Thankfulness]

Luna it’s a sad thing that your husband is away often.
Do you cry though when you can have the evening meal together and all the other things you shared?
A lot of us must go alone to Mass. Yes it’s sad for any of us whose husband or with doesn’t come to Mass with us.

For you the challenge is that regarding Sunday Mass…we are commanded to love God above all and others as ourselves. In this case of Mass you and we are required to love God first.

If you cannot as one poster said, go with someone, but the more you give in to not going the more a habit it becomes. It’s okay to go to Mass wiping away tears. I’ve wiped away tears in Mass more times than I can remember. Someone may even offer you kind support. I can’t say anyone ever noticed my tears.

I don’t know if bogs and other things help. Words are just words. Just next time, get ready and go. Try to avoid routines that make you think too much. Create a new routine for getting ready for Mass at least while your husband is away.

God bless and help you.

 

[jilly4ski]

Yes, watching Mass on TV can and does satisfy one’s obligation if the priest determines that it is appropriate, for example, a shut in who can’t get to Mass. A priest can give them dispensation. I know people who have such dispensation and the priests have recommended they watch on TV because they are unable to make it to Mass. One does need to see a priest about that unless they are certain they are not obligated (by their limitations, whatever they are) to attend Mass.

No! the shut in has a dispensation from Mass period. Thus they do not need to do anything to fulfill their Mass obligation. Including watching Mass on tv.

However, it might be spiritually edifying or otherwise a good idea to watch Mass on tv if you have a dispensation or otherwise cannot make it to Mass. But it does not fulfill ones obligation. You have either been dispensed from that obligation, or have a legitimate reason to miss (illness, care of a child, etc), or one is in grave sin. Watching Mass on tv does not change any of those situations.

Here is the apologists answer on this topic.

 

[Rence]

No! the shut in has a dispensation from Mass period. Thus they do not need to do anything to fulfill their Mass obligation. Including watching Mass on tv.

Well, one of the shut-ins asked the priest if watching on TV satisfied her obligation, and he said yes. Perhaps his answer was simply because, as you said, they don’t need to do anything to fulfill their Mass obligation.

 

[nodito]

No! the shut in has a dispensation from Mass period. Thus they do not need to do anything to fulfill their Mass obligation. Including watching Mass on tv.

However, it might be spiritually edifying or otherwise a good idea to watch Mass on tv if you have a dispensation or otherwise cannot make it to Mass. But it does not fulfill ones obligation. You have either been dispensed from that obligation, or have a legitimate reason to miss (illness, care of a child, etc), or one is in grave sin. Watching Mass on tv does not change any of those situations.

Here is the apologists answer on this topic.

This is exactly correct.

 

[nodito]

Well, one of the shut-ins asked the priest if watching on TV satisfied her obligation, and he said yes. Perhaps his answer was simply because, as you said, they don’t need to do anything to fulfill their Mass obligation.

That seems like a reasonable explanation.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

100% wrong information. Demanding with an iron fist that no matter the circumstance a person attend mass is foolishness. When someone is struggling we can offer options such as EWTN mass or confession etc for non attendance. I will pray for you.

It is 100% correct information. The ‘iron fist’ here is YOUR in your stubborn insistence that ‘your way’ is correct. As another poster noted, the TV mass is not a substitute. NOBODY here is saying that there might not be a reason (such as depression) which would MITIGATE the sin of missing Sunday Mass for the OP.

To imply or outright assert (as you are doing with absolutely no support but your own word) that Catholic teaching is something that can be ‘put aside’ based on your emotionalism and that those who gently point to the teachings as being basic. are blue meanies . .is the real wrong here.

Here’s an example.

Catholic teaching is that Lenten Fridays in the U.S. are abstinence days.

Catholic teaching ALSO acknowledges that for those who are pregnant, nursing, diabetic, working hard labor, etc., the normal REQUIREMENT FOR ABSTINENCE is not binding for those people.

The requirement for abstinence is ALWAYS THERE. . .but there are some who for good reason are RELEASED FROM THE REQUIREMENT. They don’t get a ‘substitution’.

Now, here’s the thing with Sunday Mass.

The teaching is that one must attend Sunday Mass. NOT watch on the TV, be physically present.

IF one cannot be physically present, then the OBLIGATION is in that case NOT BINDING, because God doesn’t require impossibilities.

NOW, with the OP, her depression may–or may NOT-- be sufficient that she CANNOT be physically present.

If she cannot be there, she does NOT need to ‘watch the TV Mass.’ If she cannot be present, she is not BOUND to the obligation.

If she COULD be there, even with ‘difficulty’, then she should be there, and THAT is a matter for her and her priest.

People have acknowledged that. . .even if you haven’t.

The fact is, the Catholic TEACHING requires Sunday obligation being met AT Mass. NOT listening to the TV. TV mass is a nice pious practice but it DOES NOT MEET THE OBLIGATION. Implying that it does, does a great disservice to ALL CATHOLICS.

And nobody is castigating the poor OP. We who point out the teaching are not doing so to hurt or shame her, but to let her know what the teaching is, and encourage her to seek out her priest who ALONE (not people on a forum board) can let her know whether by some reason (such as depression) she MAY for a time be permissed to miss Mass because she is truly not able to be present.

ETWN Mass etc. are NOT ‘alternatives’ to physical attendance at Mass, and that is all there is to it. Such things are certainly helpful pious practices like reading Scripture etc. but they are not substitutes and saying they are is misleading.

 

[charliedrake]

Well, one of the shut-ins asked the priest if watching on TV satisfied her obligation, and he said yes. Perhaps his answer was simply because, as you said, they don’t need to do anything to fulfill their Mass obligation.

Agreed and Thank you.

To all who disagreed with me earlier I only accept apologies in written Christmas cards.

 

[CatholicPraises]

Agreed and Thank you.

To all who disagreed with me earlier I only accept apologies in written Christmas cards.

I believed you were correct all along, its really just common sense, compassion and of course RCIA 101.

Merry Christmas!

 

[PrayForMeStJude]

You have no idea of that. She should talk to her priest. What she is describing is clinical depression. Depression is an illness just like any other, and can be quite debilitating and needs to be treated. Her priest may decide to give her a dispensation until she sees a doctor.

OP, you might benefit from committing to attending Mass with a friend rather than trying to go alone and beating yourself up for not being able to.

Depression is a serious reason. She needs to see a doctor and be treated for it.

I think its nuts that some people accurately describe canon law regarding mass attendence and you guys jump on them saying they don’t know her situation, can’t make judgements, and are being cold or close-minded.

Yet in the same breath you, based on information gleaned from one post on an internet forum, have diagnosed her with a complex psychological disorder and excused her from mass attendence.

Who is really leaping to conclusions here? Who is really doing a greater disservice to the Church?

 

[CatholicPraises]

Agreed and Thank you.

To all who disagreed with me earlier I only accept apologies in written Christmas cards.

I believed you were correct all along, its really just common sense, compassion and of course RCIA 101.

Merry Christmas!

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

Hi again ,

Thank you all for your concern, prayers, suggestions, and advice. Just knowing that I’m not the only one who struggles with this is tremendously helpful.

I do have depression and generalized anxiety disorder, for which I am medicated and go to therapy to cope with. I will bring this fact up with my priest. Thank you for those who mentioned this because it never occurred to me to do so.

I will seriously consider changing Mass times and see if that makes a difference. I only wish our parish had a “bring a singleton to Mass” ministry. When I’m more used to my new living situation, I may ask my parish if they know of anyone who struggles with transportation to and from Mass and volunteer to help a parishioner out that way.

My husband and I Skype at least once a day, and we email 2-3 times/week. He’s also romantic enough to send me postcards from the various places he’s been while on the road. None of this replaces having him at home every night, however.

And thanks for the suggestion to watch televised Mass. I can’t speak to it fulfilling my Sunday obligation, but it’s a moot point anyway since I don’t have television. Maybe if Netflix had streaming Masses…

Luna

 

[Luvtosew]

I may ask my parish if they know of anyone who struggles with transportation to and from Mass and volunteer to help a parishioner out that way

wonderful solution!!!

 

[kmuestwin]

Hi again ,

Thank you all for your concern, prayers, suggestions, and advice. Just knowing that I’m not the only one who struggles with this is tremendously helpful.

I do have depression and generalized anxiety disorder, for which I am medicated and go to therapy to cope with. I will bring this fact up with my priest. Thank you for those who mentioned this because it never occurred to me to do so.

I will seriously consider changing Mass times and see if that makes a difference. I only wish our parish had a “bring a singleton to Mass” ministry. When I’m more used to my new living situation, I may ask my parish if they know of anyone who struggles with transportation to and from Mass and volunteer to help a parishioner out that way.

My husband and I Skype at least once a day, and we email 2-3 times/week. He’s also romantic enough to send me postcards from the various places he’s been while on the road. None of this replaces having him at home every night, however.

And thanks for the suggestion to watch televised Mass. I can’t speak to it fulfilling my Sunday obligation, but it’s a moot point anyway since I don’t have television. Maybe if Netflix had streaming Masses…

Luna

Another thing you could do is ask your husband what time he is going to mass (if he is able) and go at the same time at a parish in your area. You can go together without being together.

Feeling alone is hard. I am often alone at church but my own loneliness is nothing in comparison to being away from a spouse. Remember to offer up this suffering to God for the redemption of souls.

I will spend some time in front of the blessed sacrament for you this evening.

 

[Senior_Pal]

As a senior and minimal income, the EWTN televised mass has been wonders for me, thank you for supporting it and not look down on those who do. My Priest says its just fine when I can’t make mass with limited transportation.