Struggling with NFP

[apricot_yogurt]

I am sorry. My snipy, sarcastic comments did not add anything to this thread. Women with PMT should stay away from forums, and husbands, and children.

 

[crazyage3]

I have being using NFP now for 3 months. I am finding it a bit of a struggle because my husband does not share my spiritual beliefs. While he is a kind man, a wonderful husband and excellent father, he is not a religious man and we have a wonderful marriage.

It was difficult this weekend because I was still in my fertile window and he really wanted to make love to me. I said no and I’ve never flat out said no before. He was really hurt and felt rejected - he’s a sensitive soul. The next day (a safe day), I tried to initiate lovemaking, but he then rejected me and I could tell he was still hurt. He was sour with me and was giving me the silent treatment.

To show him I love him, I did something for him that I knew would make him happy. He then softened up and we later made love.

I told him that I don’t want to use ABC anymore and that if he wishes to make love during my fertile time, then he should use a condom because I am bound to not use ABC.

I don’t want NFP to hurt my marriage and it makes it difficult when your husband doesn’t share your spiritual beliefs.

Any comments/thoughts?

It is very hard! Even after 6 years of it. My husband is not spiritual at all …I look at the bright side and see he is willing to work with me on something I believe in.
Please dont resort to Birth Control! If you are truly doing NFP , there are things to do in place of “making love” during fertile times. I wish you many blessings

 

[crazyage3]

I am happy that your marriage is now stronger. It is not our place to judge.

You believe that Jesus responded to your prayers…keep your faith. It’s beautiful.

I’m glad you are receiving answers from jesus! But I will say that BC is not acceptable in any situation. I, however, will not be the judge of your Faith. That is up to GOD. I’m only doing what God has built me up to do and that is Preach everything PROLIFE!

 

[nodito]

Make all the nasty comments you want. Cling to the rule book like it is everything. Jesus Christ is bigger than a one size fits all rule book. In 1885 small pox broke out in Montreal Canada. The Catholic leadership declared vacination is immoral and a sin. The Protestants embraced vacination. 3000 people died in the small pox outbreak. 27 Protestants and 981 Catholics. If you were a rule oriented Catholic you died. I wont let that happen to my family. The church screws up from time to time. Follow the rules like a blind sheep in 1885 Montreal Canada. See where you end up.
chapters.indigo.ca/books/Plague-How-Smallpox-Devestated-Montreal-Michael-Bliss/9780006394648-item.html?pticket=jt44va455wyvkeqq21qr1g45RUjTdLfWyhXJIHI8j6qEJuV2Grs%3d

As far as I can tell, this is false. Without reading the book you cited, I can find no substantive evidence that supports your allegation that the Church at one time prohibited smallpox vaccinations. I did find an article on EWTN that says that this rumor is pure fabrication:

ewtn.com/library/PROLENC/ENCYC043.HTM

In any event, I’d be curious to hear who this “Catholic leadership” you referred to was. Perhaps there were errant priests in 1885, just as there are errant priests today advising couples to contracept?

Furthermore, to suggest that “the Church screws up from time to time” neglects the fact that Christ told us that the Holy Spirit would lead the Church and that the gates of hell would not prevail against it. [Matthew 16L18]. We’ve had poor leadership for sure, but the official teachings of the Church are never in error.

 

[kage_ar]

Make all the nasty comments you want. Cling to the rule book like it is everything. Jesus Christ is bigger than a one size fits all rule book. In 1885 small pox broke out in Montreal Canada. The Catholic leadership declared vacination is immoral and a sin. The Protestants embraced vacination. 3000 people died in the small pox outbreak. 27 Protestants and 981 Catholics. If you were a rule oriented Catholic you died. I wont let that happen to my family. The church screws up from time to time. Follow the rules like a blind sheep in 1885 Montreal Canada. See where you end up.
chapters.indigo.ca/books/Plague-How-Smallpox-Devestated-Montreal-Michael-Bliss/9780006394648-item.html?pticket=jt44va455wyvkeqq21qr1g45RUjTdLfWyhXJIHI8j6qEJuV2Grs%3d

Document with official sources, the Vatican keeps everything on line, so, you should be able to quickly find and link to the Vatican document that supports your allegation.

I’ll wait…

 

[Alix1912]

Honestly…

Coming from someone who is not Catholic and has not problem with ABC that prevents conception. If you want to use ABC go ahead.

However, I practice NFP with my Catholic Husband for several reason, none of which have to do with Catholicism.

It’s healthier for you. BC pills alter your hormones, and your hormones affect everything about your body and emotions. After going off the pill, I am happier, losing weight, and generally feel better.

NFP actually helps couple find other ways to express their love for each other. My husband and I enjoy kissing and making out like horny teenagers on my fertil days, and it’s kinda fun.

I agree with the people here that say to involve your husband in your charting. My husband is actually interested in my charts and what they mean, he is an engineer so charts and graphs are kinda his thing. (Course be prepared for the well educated husband, to point out that you are being unreasonable about something because it is the day before your period and your PMSing, and use the chart as back up).

Do what you need to do to help your marriage, but talk to your husband about why you want to us NFP outside of the relgious reason, and see if he responds better.

 

[embwt]

I found the thread from AAA:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=135215

I think you misunderstood the post by Father Vincent Serpa.

If your husband refuses to make love to you unless he wears a condom, then you can proceed without you committing sin. But this is totally different than you asking your husband to wear one. This sin is on you.

To anyone else on CAF, am I interpretting correctly?

I’m sure that doesn’t help your struggle. Keep praying for your husband.

 

[SMHW]

I think you misunderstood the post by Father Vincent Serpa.

If your husband refuses to make love to you unless he wears a condom, then you can proceed without you committing sin. But this is totally different than you asking your husband to wear one. This sin is on you.

To anyone else on CAF, am I interpretting correctly?

I’m sure that doesn’t help your struggle. Keep praying for your husband.

I would agree with this interpretation.

Forgive me for being blunt here. I think the original poster needs to take a look at her own reasons for wanting to use NFP. She seems to be operating on the assumption that she has the right to demand her husband to do whatever necessary to prevent her from becoming pregnant, whether is in conformance with Catholic teaching or not.

While I can understand that reaction, I think maybe that attitude is not as helpful to the relationship as is the way of thinking which also puts the responsibility on the husband but is open to the possibility of more children.

 

[Serap]

I would agree with this interpretation.

Forgive me for being blunt here. I think the original poster needs to take a look at her own reasons for wanting to use NFP. She seems to be operating on the assumption that she has the right to demand her husband to do whatever necessary to prevent her from becoming pregnant, whether is in conformance with Catholic teaching or not.

While I can understand that reaction, I think maybe that attitude is not as helpful to the relationship as is the way of thinking which also puts the responsibility on the husband but is open to the possibility of more children.

Wrong, but thanks anyway. My husband is not ready either. He wants to use ABC and I don’t…it’s that simple.

During my fertile time, if he doesn’t understand and insists that we make love and insists on using a condom, that’s his free will…end of story.

You’re entitled to your opinion though…it’s just an opinion. Watch your charity.

 

[SMHW]

Wrong, but thanks anyway. My husband is not ready either. He wants to use ABC and I don’t…it’s that simple.

During my fertile time, if he doesn’t understand and insists that we make love and insists on using a condom, that’s his free will…end of story.

You’re entitled to your opinion though…it’s just an opinion. Watch your charity.

I’m very sorry if I misread you. I interpreted the line from your first post as you requesting that your husband use a condom if he wished to have sexual relations during your fertile time rather than it being his idea. I apologize.

 

[Serap]

I’m very sorry if I misread you. I interpreted the line from your first post as you requesting that your husband use a condom if he wished to have sexual relations during your fertile time rather than it being his idea. I apologize.

Hey no worries. Thanks for trying to help.

 

[Scottgun]

2370 …“every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible’ is intrinsically evil”

So yeah, abortifacient vs. non-abortifacient is a red herring.