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apricot_yogurt
Guest
Did you have sex before you were married? I am only asking this because I did, and it took me a long time to see that I wasn’t doing anything wrong *in *marriage. Call it a guilt hangover.
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exiled
Guest
BINGO! I thoroughly believe that was part of our problem, too. Praise the Lord for NFP, because I think without that, I would have felt completely objectified.
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PennitentMan
Guest
Yes we did have sex before marriage. We were not part of the Catholic Church then, so we didn’t understand it
We’re married for almost 5 years now.
Thanks guys!
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hasikelee
Guest
www.christopherwest.com
www.marriagebuilders.com
Also, has she had any recent or consistent doctor exams? Low libido is oftentime related to purely medical issues and it could simply be a thyroid issue, for example.
If you had not mentioned that she was shy, trying to avoid and felt it was “wrong” I would have just thought she was having the mommy blues where it takes time to get your body back into rythm, and by then you have a toddler on your hands so that saps all your energy.
I am willing to bet your wife thinks that 13mo baby is 3 times more stressful than your job.
But since you mentioned the other issues regarding sexual perception, I would suggest a candid talk (with a neutral helper if need be) then a game plan. She may need counseling, or both of you, she may need a good physical exam to root out a physical problem, she may need some time alone. Or it could be as easy as changing her lifestyle.
You might even find that something you are doing or not doing is hurting her as much as the low sexual activity is hurting you. That is a downward and common spiral.
But you’re only going to know if she tells you. So maybe the best thing to do is to set the sexual issue aside and try to focus on her without that hanging between you. If she is constantly expecting that you want to share in the marital embrace with her, it may put her on guard and force her to repress feelings/problems.
www.marriagebuilders.com
Also, has she had any recent or consistent doctor exams? Low libido is oftentime related to purely medical issues and it could simply be a thyroid issue, for example.
If you had not mentioned that she was shy, trying to avoid and felt it was “wrong” I would have just thought she was having the mommy blues where it takes time to get your body back into rythm, and by then you have a toddler on your hands so that saps all your energy.
I am willing to bet your wife thinks that 13mo baby is 3 times more stressful than your job.
But since you mentioned the other issues regarding sexual perception, I would suggest a candid talk (with a neutral helper if need be) then a game plan. She may need counseling, or both of you, she may need a good physical exam to root out a physical problem, she may need some time alone. Or it could be as easy as changing her lifestyle.
You might even find that something you are doing or not doing is hurting her as much as the low sexual activity is hurting you. That is a downward and common spiral.
But you’re only going to know if she tells you. So maybe the best thing to do is to set the sexual issue aside and try to focus on her without that hanging between you. If she is constantly expecting that you want to share in the marital embrace with her, it may put her on guard and force her to repress feelings/problems.
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PennitentMan
Guest
Guys, you have been such a great help with this, but I think it’s time to close these two posts.
I’m afraid that I’ll just sink into one of those “poor me” situations, and that’s is not what I want.
Thank you all for the help and advice, this has been fantastic and some great ideas!
But I think I’m going to refrain from posting again just so that I can keep focus on the future and how to recitify the situation.
Thanks again, you are fantastic!
Your brother in Christ,
PM
I’m afraid that I’ll just sink into one of those “poor me” situations, and that’s is not what I want.
Thank you all for the help and advice, this has been fantastic and some great ideas!
But I think I’m going to refrain from posting again just so that I can keep focus on the future and how to recitify the situation.
Thanks again, you are fantastic!
Your brother in Christ,
PM
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