Struggling with Strong Dislike for Someone

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powerandglory

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Best tips on overcoming an intense dislike (nearly hate) for a person I have to deal with daily? I’m trying to get to the point where she doesn’t anger me so much but losing big time. I have always treated her coldly in response but trying to be a better version of myself here. 😥
 
You need to pray for her every day and ask God to help you treat her with charity, because God loves her.
And try to go out of your way to be nice to her.
If you do this every day then it will get better.
I have been there.
 
powerandglory said:
I have always treated her coldly in response but trying to be a better version…
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Treating her coldly might be doing you more harm than her. See what you can do about that. If you want to try something radical, look for small ways to help her. What can you do for her?

How does she treat you?
 
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I developed this technique a long time ago after having a dream and it has served me well in many situations. I say to myself, what if this person is Jesus testing me in Christian charity. How would I react to this person if I believed this to be true?

I’d had a dream at a time that I was in a world of stress about dealing with a person close to me, that I’d gone to heaven and lo and behold this person turned out to be God who had been in disguise.
 
She treats me (everyone really) very rudely. The dislike is definitely mutual. We are both strong personalities, and to be honest, I think I dislike in her what I dislike in myself.
 
I’ve had the same difficulty - a friend whom I did like very much, just really angered me and frustrated heaps out of me because they always took the side of Devils Advocate in our conversations and would not concede a point or admit they knew what the point was that I was trying to make. It was a huge effort to hold onto my anger, but I often lost the struggle.

Advice given me by priests were to often pray “Lord, make me a calm and gentle person” over and over again, and the second piece of advice given to me was to try and see that person how God sees that person. Thereby treating them with patience (God has been very patient with me), gentleness and kindness.
 
powerandglory said:
Best tips on overcoming an intense dislike (nearly hate) for a person I have to deal with daily? I’m trying to get to the point where she doesn’t anger me so much but losing big time. I have always treated her coldly in response but trying to be a better version of myself here
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Think of her as your personal spiritual trainer, helping your soul get in shape by exercising your will to forgive and to treat her with kindness. You will see how fast you will grow and begin to enjoy being tender toward her. Evangelize her by getting to know her and finding out what her troubles and struggles are. Then you will learn to love her as yourself.
 
Pray for God to pour down blessings and healings onto your nemesis, even if it means she will increase and you will decrease.
Imagine her surrounded by God’s love (which she actually is, BTW).

At the same time, you have every right to set boundaries with her, and to call her on inappropriate behavior.

And also make to keep your own house in order, that you strive to be the best person you’re supposed to be.

Best of luck 🙂
 
I read once that if you imagine the person is Jesus or one of his disciples (I had an easier time imagining the latter) then you would go out of your way to be respectful and nice/kind. I found I did it because I was thinking well Jesus see’s something in them so I must too and perhaps their customs are different to mine (having imagined they were a disciple come back in time).

I also read that charity doesnt see faults in others and if it accidently notices one it pretends to not observe it. Also that the more God is in a soul the greater the skill in finding good among evil. So ask God for help continually and to fill you with his grace. God bless, I have been there not easy. On the positive side, God send these trials to strengthen us and make us holy, so be sure to thank him for her.
 
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Always remember to be quick to forgive and slow to anger. And in that order too.
 
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Whenever there has been someone I haven’t liked, I tried engaging with them until I found something that I did like…maybe we had one thing in common. And then I would build on that one thing. And the more I did engage with them, I actually came to like them.

My pastor used to say, “If you want to make friends, show yourself to be friendly.” Acting coldly toward someone isn’t the answer to your situation.

And as others have said, definitely pray for them…and for yourself, asking God to help you to see them as He does.
 
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Christ called us to radical love. He told us to love our enemies, to do good for the people who were mean to us.

Can you do an anonymous nice thing for her? Send her flowers?

Of course, pray for her. Maybe have a Mass said for her.

When you pray the Our Father, pray “Forgive me my trespasses as I forgive (insert her name here).”
 
I remember watching the movie about St Alberto Hurtado and that is the first time in my life I want to stop disliking or getting angry with the people I know.
I am really impressed when he note down every time he got angry under ‘Wrath’ title. Even though the people he got angry at dis really bad things.
Cheers.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Can you do an anonymous nice thing for her? Send her flowers?
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I would caution against that.

Because of the current climate between the two of them, the recipient might not see it in a good light and the motive may be misinterpreted.

Just focus on treating the other fairly with no ill will.
 
Does your dislike have any substance in it? Like did she do anything wrong to you, offended you or God in any way?
 
What I’ve noticed in my own life is when I really dislike someone, it changes who I am. So I basically ignore or forget people. It’s much healthier. It’s a choice you have to make, I think.
 
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What is it about her you don’t like? And why don’t you like it?

Who knows? Maybe you have a good reason not to like her?

Does she carry a pitchfork, have horns growing out of her head, and a long pointy tail?
 
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