Student at Catholic elementary school has his parent's are two gay fathers

[Maximilan_Kolbe]

I don’t believe you will agree with my parenting decisions but I will attempt to explain anyway that might hopefully shed some light?

Take religion totally out of the equation for a moment, and simply talk about someone’s deeply held belief system. If I were a strict vegan and raising my children to be such, I may hesitate to bring my young children to a home of someone who hunted and was going to serve deer meat for dinner each time we visited. I might not, but if I did it would be to give my child as consistent message as possible at a young age.

This is not to judge the person that is a hunter, we could certainly be friends with them! It’s just exposing my children to conflicting messages at a young age can be confusing. Others believe you should expose your child to lots of things at once. I believe in gradual exposure to the realities of life as a child matures that’s all. My children all learned about the gay lifestyle just not at age three-five that’s all, no judgment simply parenting. Don’t expect you to agree just trying to explain, God bless your day.

Hey, I do agree with you; that’s the point. I am not interetsed in shunning people; my motives are age-appropriate protection of my children. That’s the entire point.

I don’t get the folks who disagree and who claim exposure to the ills of this world will happen anyway, then turn around and have a list of things that are unacceptable for their young children (porography, violence, drugs). What? What hapepened to “they’ll be exposed to it eventually?” Or “let ye who is without sin…”

That’s why those arguments seem inconsistent and I don’t believe most on here actually believe that or live that in all things.

 

[pensmama87]

Hey, I do agree with you; that’s the point. I am not interetsed in shunning people; my motives are age-appropriate protection of my children. That’s the entire point.

I don’t get the folks who disagree and who claim exposure to the ills of this world will happen anyway, then turn around and have a list of things that are unacceptable for their young children (porography, violence, drugs). What? What hapepened to “they’ll be exposed to it eventually?” Or “let ye who is without sin…”

That’s why those arguments seem inconsistent and I don’t believe most on here actually believe that or live that in all things.

I think for me a lot of it comes down to seeing what happened to several highly sheltered friends when they began living independently. One or two small threats to their carefully constructed worldview and the whole thing came crashing down.

I also think it could be very risky waiting to expose a child to certain ideas because it’s very likely someone else will beat you to the punch on their terms, not yours, and because it doesn’t make sense to me to wait until (most likely) an age where children tend toward rebellion.

So no, I don’t plan on showing my children pornography or giving them drugs, but yeah, actually, I probably will talk to them about it. My mom probably isn’t happy, for example, that she had to explain what smoking was after visiting my uncle when I was three, but I do imagine her teaching me to call cigarettes “icky sticks” helped me not be tempted to smoke.

 

[Maximilan_Kolbe]

I think for me a lot of it comes down to seeing what happened to several highly sheltered friends when they began living independently. One or two small threats to their carefully constructed worldview and the whole thing came crashing down.

I also think it could be very risky waiting to expose a child to certain ideas because it’s very likely someone else will beat you to the punch on their terms, not yours, and because it doesn’t make sense to me to wait until (most likely) an age where children tend toward rebellion.

So no, I don’t plan on showing my children pornography or giving them drugs, but yeah, actually, I probably will talk to them about it. My mom probably isn’t happy, for example, that she had to explain what smoking was after visiting my uncle when I was three, but I do imagine her teaching me to call cigarettes “icky sticks” helped me not be tempted to smoke.

Yep. You can’t hide your children from the world, and age appropriate discussions and exposure are important. Age appropriate being the key.

You can roll your eyes at the notion of pornography or drugs (I never said giving them drugs; I mentioned an environment wher drug use may be seen or viewed, much like ultra-violent depictions that are not fit for children), but is this more ridiculous than exposing your children to to homosexual men pretending that marriage can be anything we want? I see them all as dangerous for young minds, especially since the former is looked upon with greater scorn in society (at least more taboo, for now); the latter is seen as normal, which make it more insidious and dangerous, IMO. I can teach my children the ills and dangers of many of the things mentioned without the need to expose them to it. And again, why are the scenarios mentioned different and worthy of an eye roll? I don’t think the Church or any of the Popes in the last hundred years or so would see the dangers any differently, given their statements and writings.

I do not think protecting your children from that which may confuse them or send a wrong message as they are young is the same thing as shielding them from anything bad in the world and leaving them unequipped to deal with it. But simply you can’t argue that the world is nasty and parents who choose to shield children from it until an appropriate time creates and unhealthy fake box around them but then turn around and say “oh, but that, now that is too much. There is no way that should be exposed to children.” It just seems like an inconsistent argument to use against those who support not exposing children at certain ages to homosexual guardians, that’s all I am saying.

 

[EasterJoy]

Could a Hindu school accept the children of cattle ranchers? They could, but they would undoubtedly let the family know that there won’t be any roast beef sandwiches allowed at the school and that the family cannot promote beef consumption, either.

The family has to expect to make some concessions to achieve the necessary accommodation. A school ought to be hospitable, but it cannot be expected to suspend its raison d’être in order to achieve a hospitable atmosphere.

 

[1990Domer]

That’s a miniscule sampling, but I know you won’t hear that.

I really don’t want to engage your specific issue b/c anyone who doesn’t offer hugs you label as rude and mean spirited. I’ve read all your threads and posts. But I will say this. I feel terrible that your special needs child had such a rough go in the schools. The bullying you describe sounds terrible. It’s hard to fathom that your pleas for help fell on deaf ears—truly disheartening. No excuse…just awful. With that said, most Catholic schools aren’t equipped to deal with moderate/severe special needs kids. It is a sad reality that there aren’t enough resources, or it hasn’t been enough of a priority to direct more resources to that issue. My wife teaches in a Catholic school, she would seldom recommend putting a special needs kids in catholic school. She constantly sees the problems that these children face b/c parents won’t admit that there are issues (not saying you are one of them) or the school is too weak to draw the line with the parent and place the child somewhere better suited to meet the needs of the child.

Now, there are catholic schools in our area that are trying to address the issue, but its expensive and resource intensive.

But, your experience doesn’t invalidate Catholic schools no more than meeting a bad priest invalidates Catholicism.

I know, but it’s all I know and where I live. I can’t investigate every school. Plus, I want hubby to keep his job and I have elderly parents to take of.

 

[1990Domer]

That’s a miniscule sampling, but I know you won’t hear that.

I really don’t want to engage your specific issue b/c anyone who doesn’t offer hugs you label as rude and mean spirited. I’ve read all your threads and posts. But I will say this. I feel terrible that your special needs child had such a rough go in the schools. The bullying you describe sounds terrible. It’s hard to fathom that your pleas for help fell on deaf ears—truly disheartening. No excuse…just awful. With that said, most Catholic schools aren’t equipped to deal with moderate/severe special needs kids. It is a sad reality that there aren’t enough resources, or it hasn’t been enough of a priority to direct more resources to that issue. My wife teaches in a Catholic school, she would seldom recommend putting a special needs kids in catholic school. She constantly sees the problems that these children face b/c parents won’t admit that there are issues (not saying you are one of them) or the school is too weak to draw the line with the parent and place the child somewhere better suited to meet the needs of the child.

Now, there are catholic schools in our area that are trying to address the issue, but its expensive and resource intensive.

But, your experience doesn’t invalidate Catholic schools no more than meeting a bad priest invalidates Catholicism.

My son was mainstreamed by kindy. He’s a little quirky but not a discipline issue. He got student of the month twice. I was not expecting hugs and kisses from his classmates. However, the county guidance counselor was fired and we were never told.

I do not think ALL Catholic schools are bad. We plan on sending him to. Christian Brothers High School. I am speaking from the county I live in only…

Finally, we provided them with a full neuropsychology report to help them make their decision. This was a $3000 test…very thorough.

 

[pensmama87]

Yep. You can’t hide your children from the world, and age appropriate discussions and exposure are important. Age appropriate being the key.

You can roll your eyes at the notion of pornography or drugs (I never said giving them drugs; I mentioned an environment wher drug use may be seen or viewed, much like ultra-violent depictions that are not fit for children), but is this more ridiculous than exposing your children to to homosexual men pretending that marriage can be anything we want? I see them all as dangerous for young minds, especially since the former is looked upon with greater scorn in society (at least more taboo, for now); the latter is seen as normal, which make it more insidious and dangerous, IMO. I can teach my children the ills and dangers of many of the things mentioned without the need to expose them to it. And again, why are the scenarios mentioned different and worthy of an eye roll? I don’t think the Church or any of the Popes in the last hundred years or so would see the dangers any differently, given their statements and writings.

I do not think protecting your children from that which may confuse them or send a wrong message as they are young is the same thing as shielding them from anything bad in the world and leaving them unequipped to deal with it. But simply you can’t argue that the world is nasty and parents who choose to shield children from it until an appropriate time creates and unhealthy fake box around them but then turn around and say “oh, but that, now that is too much. There is no way that should be exposed to children.” It just seems like an inconsistent argument to use against those who support not exposing children at certain ages to homosexual guardians, that’s all I am saying.

I guess I don’t understand the distinctions you are making.

Your child could encounter a child in this situation at the grocery store, library, living on your street, or even in your own family. I’m not saying go out looking for it. But if the child is already there, and you trust the faithfulness of the school, I really don’t think it has to be a huge deal - and that does not in any way mean that I’m going to lessen the importance of Church teaching on the issue. The child is not the parents. Especially at an elementary level.

 

[1990Domer]

My son wants to be a Trappist monk. I hope this happens. My worries solved.

Bye-bye thread.

 

[EasterJoy]

My son wants to be a Trappist monk. I hope this happens. My worries solved.

Bye-bye thread.

*One day Abba Isaac went to a monastery. He saw a brother committing a sin
and he condemned him. When he returned to the desert, an angel of the Lord came
and stood in front of the door of his cell, and said, “I will not let you
enter.” But he persisted saying, “What is the matter?” And the angel
replied, “God has sent me to ask you where you want to throw the guilty
brother whom you have condemned.” Immediately he repented and said, “I have
sinned, forgive me.” Then the angel said, “Get up, God has forgiven you.
But from now on, be careful not to judge someone before God has done so.” *

---

*It happened that Abba Moses the Ethiopian was struggling with the temptation
of fornication. Unable to stay any longer in the cell, he went and told Abba
Isidore. The old man exhorted him to return to his cell. But he refused,
saying, “Abba, I cannot.” Then Abba Isidore took Moses out onto the terrace
and said to him, “Look towards the west.” He looked and saw hordes of
demons flying about and making a noise before launching an attack. Then Abba
Isidore said to him, “Look towards the east.” He turned and saw an innumerable
multitude of holy angels shining with glory. Abba Isidore said, “See, these
are sent by the Lord to the saints to bring them help, while those in the
west fight against them. Those who are with us are more in number than they
are.”

Then Abba Moses gave thanks to God, plucked up his courage, and returned to his cell. *