Study: Interracial marriage, acceptance growing

[rlg94086]

That experience is very true for you Asia and for others, but it’s wrong, and rather ignorant to imply confusion naturally follows for mixed-race children.

I’m also mixed race (black and white) but I never suffered the so-called “tragic mulatto” experience, the pressure to “pick” a side, or alienation because nobody looked like me. Much of that has to do with my upbringing and location in a multicultural neighbourhood; as I said, interracial couples are fairly common in the U.K., and black-white relationships are not at all unusual.

Besides location there’s also history to consider–I’m not really surprised, comparing U.S. and U.K. historical attitudes to interracial marriage, that it’s still an issue worth comment in the U.S. The English never banned interracial marriage (unlike White Americans) even if they were opposed to it, back in the day. And Black Caribbeans have always mixed with Asians, Whites, etc., and since black identity wasn’t an issue for Black Caribbeans until they immigrated to the U.K., it wasn’t an issue to marry whites. Some Black Americans, however, oppose black-white marriages because they’ll dilute “black identity,” while at the same time insisting that a mixed-race child can only have a black identity.

I think you are over-romanticizing British historical acceptance of interracial marriages, and over-simplifying American racial discord. Don’t worry though - we’ve come to expect it.

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-15164970

“People get too hung up about racism and prejudice,” he tells me.

Patrick Olive’s band Hot Chocolate, most popular in the 1970s and 80s, is still performing
But Patrick also wanted to introduce me to his wife - a white woman called Jane.

In the mid-70s he recalls how his hopes of dating a white girl were met by hostility and prejudice.

“The father was breathing fire and brimstone,” he told me.

A quarter of a century later and his relationship barely raises an eyebrow.

Things have also changed quite a bit in the US. It also varies by area. A “quarter of a century” ago, my marriage raised no eyebrows where we lived. I guess the West Coast of the US was ahead of the game in comparison to the part of England Patrick Olive was referring to.

 

[psr13]

Wrong? Ignorant? Choice of words–makes all the difference in the world, Bezant.

I didn’t say confusion naturally followed. I said it happened to me. My father was in the military, and my exposure to mixed race children is greater than most people. Very few of them, including my siblings, didn’t experience what I did.

I’m glad you didn’t. Wonderful!

Well, I know a whole mess of mixed race kids, and none have had this problem. However, races mix very well where I’m from. The culture reflects that. People don’t talk about white culture, Hispanic culture, or Asian culture. (There aren’t many blacks in the area I’m talking about.) The cultures all tend to go together.

By the way, the way you stated it previously was very absolute. You stated it in such a fashion that you were right and others’ experiences weren’t or were in the minority. Where I am from, your experience is in the minority.

 

[Raskolnikov]

I think you are over-romanticizing British historical acceptance of interracial marriages, and over-simplifying American racial discord. Don’t worry though - we’ve come to expect it.

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-15164970

Things have also changed quite a bit in the US. It also varies by area. A “quarter of a century” ago, my marriage raised no eyebrows where we lived. I guess the West Coast of the US was ahead of the game in comparison to the part of England Patrick Olive was referring to.

It seems to me that different countries get along differently with different groups. It wouldn’t surprise me too much if relationsh between black people and white peopl in Britain were fairly better than in the US. But there’s the question of, say, Indians in Great Britain, which is more complicated. Likewise, A white Frenchman or a white German dating a black Frenchman or a black German might not raise eyebrows at all, where as dating an Arab or a Turk more likely would. Surprising as it may be, most peoples seem capable of being extraordinarily tolerant toward some groups of people while persistently retaining prejudices toward other groups.

 

[4Squarebaby]

It seems to me that different countries get along differently with different groups. It wouldn’t surprise me too much if relationsh between black people and white peopl in Britain were fairly better than in the US. But there’s the question of, say, Indians in Great Britain, which is more complicated. Likewise, A white Frenchman or a white German dating a black Frenchman or a black German might not raise eyebrows at all, where as dating an Arab or a Turk more likely would. Surprising as it may be, most peoples seem capable of being extraordinarily tolerant toward some groups of people while persistently retaining prejudices toward other groups.

You found the post that was lost in my phone system. I agree while white/black because of the history of slavery and the following Jim Crow gets all the attention when discussing US attitudes they are not the end all. For example the millions of Americans from Chuck Norris on down who have always proudly proclaimed a partial Native American heritage. And until very recently South Asians were not thought of as a different race, just as different culturally most noticeable by dress and an alien faith. However after adding cultural studies to our education systems in the 70s they became other then white racially speaking. From the 1950s play and movie West Side Story the character “Arab” was white

 

[asia53]

Well, I know a whole mess of mixed race kids, and none have had this problem. However, races mix very well where I’m from. The culture reflects that. People don’t talk about white culture, Hispanic culture, or Asian culture. (There aren’t many blacks in the area I’m talking about.) The cultures all tend to go together.

By the way, the way you stated it previously was very absolute. You stated it in such a fashion that you were right and others’ experiences weren’t or were in the minority. Where I am from, your experience is in the minority.

Please refrain from subjectively deciding what I posted is in any way a dismissal of others’ experiences. I posted my, my family, and others of my acquaintance experiences. It is not an absolute.

Well, I know a whole mess of mixed race kids

So do I. It’s rare to find one who hasn’t had the same experience. Once again, it’s what I have found to be true, others haven’t found this to be true. That’s fine.

 

[ringil]

In any case, this is a great development of public opinion. Hopefully, it will continue and coincide with stronger and more intact families, not that the two are neccessarily related but along with an acceptance of diversity, we need more mature committment in the familial unit.

 

[Bezant]

Wrong? Ignorant? Choice of words–makes all the difference in the world, Bezant.

I didn’t say confusion naturally followed. I said it happened to me. My father was in the military, and my exposure to mixed race children is greater than most people. Very few of them, including my siblings, didn’t experience what I did.

I’m glad you didn’t. Wonderful!

I don’t mean to offend you, but I’m afraid I must be as blunt, because the implication was there in Tenovir’s comments and your response, even though you clearly don’t mean to say that confusion naturally follows.

 

[Bezant]

I think you are over-romanticizing British historical acceptance of interracial marriages, and over-simplifying American racial discord. Don’t worry though - we’ve come to expect it.

Thanks! Trust me, I was worried about suggesting that 1950s Britain was a shiny bastion of tolerance, accepting of interracial marriages or even ethnic minorities. My grandparents’ generation faced some stiff racism and general ignorance (“You can speak English?”) when they immigrated after the war–and unfortunately, the dregs still remain in 2012. I was definitely over-simplifying my response for the sake of brevity, but I also think there’s truth in it.

Things have also changed quite a bit in the US. It also varies by area. A “quarter of a century” ago, my marriage raised no eyebrows where we lived. I guess the West Coast of the US was ahead of the game in comparison to the part of England Patrick Olive was referring to.

I’m sure the attitudes in the urban West Coast are far ahead of someplace in rural Alabama (but who knows, might be wrong ). And there are still parts of England where I’m relieved I didn’t grow up (coughcough*, Liverpool) but in general I think we are a step ahead (as we are in everything… )

 

[asia53]

I don’t mean to offend you, but I’m afraid I must be as blunt, because the implication was there in Tenovir’s comments and your response, even though you clearly don’t mean to say that confusion naturally follows.

No worries, Bezant.

 

[Bezant]

No worries, Bezant.

Excellent

 

[Bezant]

It seems to me that different countries get along differently with different groups. It wouldn’t surprise me too much if relationsh between black people and white peopl in Britain were fairly better than in the US. But there’s the question of, say, Indians in Great Britain, which is more complicated. Likewise, A white Frenchman or a white German dating a black Frenchman or a black German might not raise eyebrows at all, where as dating an Arab or a Turk more likely would. Surprising as it may be, most peoples seem capable of being extraordinarily tolerant toward some groups of people while persistently retaining prejudices toward other groups.

This is also true. While black-and-white relationships are very common, Asian-and-white relationships are rarer (it’s usually the guy who’s Asian) and I can only name one or two Asian-and-black relationships (unless you count Caribbean people of Indian descent).

 

[rlg94086]

This is also true. While black-and-white relationships are very common, Asian-and-white relationships are rarer (it’s usually the guy who’s Asian) and I can only name one or two Asian-and-black relationships (unless you count Caribbean people of Indian descent).

That’s weird. The Asian wife is more common here, whether the man is white or black - Tiger Woods’ parents are a good example. The most common question posed: “did you meet her when you were stationed overseas?”

I good number of my former coworkers in Holland have Asian wives whom they met while doing business overseas, but I’m sure that’s not necessarily indicative of the rest of Europe. It has more to do with the industry we were in.

I don’t remember meeting any interracial couples when I lived in England for 6 months in 2000, but then I don’t particularly remember meeting many people who were non-white. It may be the region and/or industry I was in. I lived in Thame and worked with high tech accounts mainly in London, Bracknell, Swindon…one in Manchester. I also called on a couple accounts more recently (2007) in Surrey and Paignton.

 

[Ghosty]

Well, I’ve done my part. My wife is originally from Japan and our daughter is a hafu of course. Funny thing is that at the local Gymboree I would say that obvious “pure bloods” are the minority. Slightly more than half of the kids in my daughter’s age group are from mixed parentage, with all different kinds of mixes accounted for. It’s odd because “mixed marriages” are not uncommon or frowned upon where I live (Seattle), but they certainly aren’t more than 50% of the marriages.

At any rate I’ve definitely noticed a strong upswing in such relationships in my life time. When I was a kid I knew several mixed children, especially East Asian and something else (incredibly common here; kids with both parents being East Asian were actually very unusual unless they were both immigrants). My age group of people around thirty and younger just seem to have pretty much dropped all pretense of dating “within our own”, and it’s not even remotely edgy for us, at least for our area. I don’t expect my daughter to run into any difficulties at all, as half-Japanese half-something else kids have been normal here since I was little.

The really amusing thing for me is that I do work with the elderly a lot, and those of the WWII generation are often surprised that I would marry a Japanese woman, and ask questions about how our families feel about it. I just tell them that she’s the only girl I dated that my mother liked, and that her mother told her daughters to not marry Japanese men (her mother remarried a white American and the family moved here when my wife was young). The issue of race honestly never came up when we started dating or talking about marriage. Now religious differences would be a much bigger problem for me, but we’re both Catholic so it’s not an issue; her family is Protestant, though, and some issues do come up with them from time to time.

We joke that my daughter has to marry an Australian Aborigine so we can get the full spread in our family, as my side is already quite mixed as it is.

Peace and God bless!

 

[4Squarebaby]

That’s weird. The Asian wife is more common here, whether the man is white or black - Tiger Woods’ parents are a good example. The most common question posed: “did you meet her when you were stationed overseas?”

I good number of my former coworkers in Holland have Asian wives whom they met while doing business overseas, but I’m sure that’s not necessarily indicative of the rest of Europe. It has more to do with the industry we were in.

I don’t remember meeting any interracial couples when I lived in England for 6 months in 2000, but then I don’t particularly remember meeting many people who were non-white. It may be the region and/or industry I was in. I lived in Thame and worked with high tech accounts mainly in London, Bracknell, Swindon…one in Manchester. I also called on a couple accounts more recently (2007) in Surrey and Paignton.

Generally when the British say “Asian” they are referring to Indians and Pakistanis

 

[rlg94086]

Generally when the British say “Asian” they are referring to Indians and Pakistanis

Good point! I’ve only known a couple of Indian/Pakistani interracial marriages, and in both cases the wife was white.

My wife and I were discussing it last night and noted that male versus female half of the relationship that tends to be white varies by the ethnicity of the other partner. What I mean is that most of the black/white relationships I’ve known, the man was black. For East Asian/white relationships, the white is typically white. I wonder if its a cultural thing…

 

[4Squarebaby]

Good point! I’ve only known a couple of Indian/Pakistani interracial marriages, and in both cases the wife was white.

My wife and I were discussing it last night and noted that male versus female half of the relationship that tends to be white varies by the ethnicity of the other partner. What I mean is that most of the black/white relationships I’ve known, the man was black. For East Asian/white relationships, the white is typically white. I wonder if its a cultural thing…

With Pakistani’s specifically and many Indians she will be Muslim so on top of any cultural/family objections it is almost forbidden by her faith since most men in the other races will not be Muslim

 

[rlg94086]

With Pakistani’s specifically and many Indians she will be Muslim so on top of any cultural/family objections it is almost forbidden by her faith since most men in the other races will not be Muslim

I don’t know anything about that. Both guys I know are Indian - Hindu. One is married to a Catholic woman.

Are Muslim men able to marry women of other faiths, or are they under the same restrictions?

 

[4Squarebaby]

I don’t know anything about that. Both guys I know are Indian - Hindu. One is married to a Catholic woman.

Are Muslim men able to marry women of other faiths, or are they under the same restrictions?

Faithful “people of the book” Meaning chaste, practicing Christians and Jewish women, in the letter of their law. In theory anyway.

 

[4Squarebaby]

I understand, my Muslim cousin is married to a women who Muslim theologians would consider a pagan and my Catholic brother in law is married to a Muslim. However in the broad generalities by which we see interracial couples the fact that we are talking about different ethnic groups entirely, mostly South Asian in Great Britain versus mostly East and Southeast Asians in the USA along with the faith factor does account for a difference between British and American perceptions of which member of the couple will be the minority when taking about “Asians” specifically.

 

[Marybeloved]

The major issue with mixed race children is that they may have problems later in life in finding acceptance in the culture. Often both races reject the child and it has negative effects on them.

Funny, in my country mixed-race children are HIGHLY gloated over! People always insist that they are hands down the most beautiful people (and children) on the Planet! Doesn’t matter if it is white/Black or Indian-Black etc As long as the skin tone does not fall on any particular race, everyone insists that nothing compares to those children in beauty So, over here, I guess the only problem that might worry a parent is the fear of raising a child with a “big head”