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xpirategrrlx
Guest
I am going to attempt to make a long story short, but I apologize in advance as that just may not happen. I have been soul searching for a long time and for the life of me don’t understand why I didn’t give the Catholic faith a good look in my journey.
I come from a family where my dad is Mormon and my mom is Catholic. As a baby, I was baptized (Christened? Not sure…sorry) in my mom’s church. However, my mom wasn’t really a practicing Catholic (she loves her faith, but isn’t a church goer), so at about 7 years old, when my dad started going back to church, my siblings and I went with him. At 8 you are supposed to be baptized, but at the age of 8, I felt I wasn’t ready to make such a decision (precocious much?). It wasn’t until I was 11 and my sister was 8 and making the choice to be baptized that I followed. I still felt uneasy, as I felt I was letting my mom down by being baptized in a different church (even though I’d only been to mass maybe twice at this point) and the diplomat in me couldn’t understand why I couldn’t be a part of both religions. I went through with the baptism, my dad was happy, my mom wasn’t upset and I was actually pretty happy. I find no fault in the LDS religion. I have many friends who are absolutely wonderful. Most members are very family oriented and try to do what is right. They do good works and look out for their fellow man. Fast forward to teen years though, and I just get restless in church. I don’t feel the Spirit the way I should (and perhaps, I never really did feel it the way I’m supposed to?) so I stop going.
Fast forward a couple more years and I join the Army and wind up going to church for the few months before I leave for basic training. Church gets me through the rough parts of training yet, I still have that restless feeling.
Sigh. I know, I’m so long winded. After basic, my church attendance kind of wanes and I go through my rebellious stage. By the time I make it to Korea, I haven’t seen a church in months. I wind up unwed and pregnant, a BIG no no to most religions and feel like I’m going to be the biggest disappointment ever to my father. He tells me he doesn’t care, he loves me and can’t wait to meet his granchild.
The church however, was more off putting. The leaders were wonderful actually, and very accepting. They never once said an unkind word to me. Many members however, said things right to my face that made me uncomfortable. Like, “this is why you’re supposed to wait until you’re married,” and “you should give it up for adoption”. I felt that my sins had been discussed within the proper channels and that I had repented and that my judgement was in His hands, not that of the church members. (I must say though, these were holier than thou members that most religions have in their folds…I know it is not specific to Mormonism. My true friends Mormon or not, love me for me, faults and all…)
After this, it was harder to sit in church. I didn’t feel the spirit. I didn’t feel like I agreed with many teachings. I didn’t want to denounce my membership, as I didn’t want to hurt my dad’s feelings (I know…bad excuse) but I stopped going and began to look elsewhere. I tried being just spiritual, then I tried a couple other faiths and even looked into some new age routes. Nothing seemed to fit. I craved more. I am missing something and I want it.
Recently, I asked my mom why we were raised with dad’s religion and she said it was because she was a bad Catholic and didn’t go to church and he did, so we just went with him. I admit, my knowledge of the faith is limited, but it has always intrigued me and I want to look into it more. I haven’t been to a mass in a couple years (occasionally I go with my mom on Christmas or Easter, only this year, I got up to go and was sick), and asked if we could give it a try. There is a beauty about Catholicism that I’ve noticed through my mother even though she doesn’t practice like she says she should. She has often mentioned the reason she never converted to LDS is because she never felt she was searching. That whenever she went to mass, she felt right, as if she were home. When she prays, she feels that she doesn’t need to change her beliefs. I want to feel that.
However, I know the religion is full of tradition that I can’t even begin to understand. I am planning on attending a mass this weekend, and she will probably go with me. But I am nervous. What do I need to do? Wear? How do I act? Do I need to let whoever is in charge know I am interested in seriously investigating and learning about their faith? Do I need to be rebaptized if I decide to follow this path? My daughter has since been baptized LDS and goes with my father to church. I am a firm believer in letting the child celebrate faith the way she sees fit and am not looking to force her into changing if she doesn’t desire to do so. I am sorry for the long windedness, but would really appreciate any (name removed by moderator)ut.
Again, I don’t want to seem like I’m insulting the religion I was raised in. I just disagree with a lot and don’t think I should claim to be a part of something I don’t fully believe in. I don’t feel at home there. I want to feel like I am in the right place. I want the feeling my mother describes. Any insight on the Catholic religion would be appreciated, I have talked to my mother a bit about it, but sometimes, it’s just easier to discuss the changing of one’s religion with someone other than family. It’s a big deal to me, as I love both my parents and as you can probably tell from the above novel, I don’t want either to think of my change as me saying I value one over the other. They are both wonderful people who have always made me feel loved, even with all the mistakes I’ve made!
Thank you in advance!
I come from a family where my dad is Mormon and my mom is Catholic. As a baby, I was baptized (Christened? Not sure…sorry) in my mom’s church. However, my mom wasn’t really a practicing Catholic (she loves her faith, but isn’t a church goer), so at about 7 years old, when my dad started going back to church, my siblings and I went with him. At 8 you are supposed to be baptized, but at the age of 8, I felt I wasn’t ready to make such a decision (precocious much?). It wasn’t until I was 11 and my sister was 8 and making the choice to be baptized that I followed. I still felt uneasy, as I felt I was letting my mom down by being baptized in a different church (even though I’d only been to mass maybe twice at this point) and the diplomat in me couldn’t understand why I couldn’t be a part of both religions. I went through with the baptism, my dad was happy, my mom wasn’t upset and I was actually pretty happy. I find no fault in the LDS religion. I have many friends who are absolutely wonderful. Most members are very family oriented and try to do what is right. They do good works and look out for their fellow man. Fast forward to teen years though, and I just get restless in church. I don’t feel the Spirit the way I should (and perhaps, I never really did feel it the way I’m supposed to?) so I stop going.
Fast forward a couple more years and I join the Army and wind up going to church for the few months before I leave for basic training. Church gets me through the rough parts of training yet, I still have that restless feeling.
Sigh. I know, I’m so long winded. After basic, my church attendance kind of wanes and I go through my rebellious stage. By the time I make it to Korea, I haven’t seen a church in months. I wind up unwed and pregnant, a BIG no no to most religions and feel like I’m going to be the biggest disappointment ever to my father. He tells me he doesn’t care, he loves me and can’t wait to meet his granchild.
The church however, was more off putting. The leaders were wonderful actually, and very accepting. They never once said an unkind word to me. Many members however, said things right to my face that made me uncomfortable. Like, “this is why you’re supposed to wait until you’re married,” and “you should give it up for adoption”. I felt that my sins had been discussed within the proper channels and that I had repented and that my judgement was in His hands, not that of the church members. (I must say though, these were holier than thou members that most religions have in their folds…I know it is not specific to Mormonism. My true friends Mormon or not, love me for me, faults and all…)
After this, it was harder to sit in church. I didn’t feel the spirit. I didn’t feel like I agreed with many teachings. I didn’t want to denounce my membership, as I didn’t want to hurt my dad’s feelings (I know…bad excuse) but I stopped going and began to look elsewhere. I tried being just spiritual, then I tried a couple other faiths and even looked into some new age routes. Nothing seemed to fit. I craved more. I am missing something and I want it.
Recently, I asked my mom why we were raised with dad’s religion and she said it was because she was a bad Catholic and didn’t go to church and he did, so we just went with him. I admit, my knowledge of the faith is limited, but it has always intrigued me and I want to look into it more. I haven’t been to a mass in a couple years (occasionally I go with my mom on Christmas or Easter, only this year, I got up to go and was sick), and asked if we could give it a try. There is a beauty about Catholicism that I’ve noticed through my mother even though she doesn’t practice like she says she should. She has often mentioned the reason she never converted to LDS is because she never felt she was searching. That whenever she went to mass, she felt right, as if she were home. When she prays, she feels that she doesn’t need to change her beliefs. I want to feel that.
However, I know the religion is full of tradition that I can’t even begin to understand. I am planning on attending a mass this weekend, and she will probably go with me. But I am nervous. What do I need to do? Wear? How do I act? Do I need to let whoever is in charge know I am interested in seriously investigating and learning about their faith? Do I need to be rebaptized if I decide to follow this path? My daughter has since been baptized LDS and goes with my father to church. I am a firm believer in letting the child celebrate faith the way she sees fit and am not looking to force her into changing if she doesn’t desire to do so. I am sorry for the long windedness, but would really appreciate any (name removed by moderator)ut.
Again, I don’t want to seem like I’m insulting the religion I was raised in. I just disagree with a lot and don’t think I should claim to be a part of something I don’t fully believe in. I don’t feel at home there. I want to feel like I am in the right place. I want the feeling my mother describes. Any insight on the Catholic religion would be appreciated, I have talked to my mother a bit about it, but sometimes, it’s just easier to discuss the changing of one’s religion with someone other than family. It’s a big deal to me, as I love both my parents and as you can probably tell from the above novel, I don’t want either to think of my change as me saying I value one over the other. They are both wonderful people who have always made me feel loved, even with all the mistakes I’ve made!
Thank you in advance!