Submission as a wife

[mariam1976]

how do you practice submission as a wife? i am wondering what is the right way to do it?
Does it mean giving over all the finances to your husband? what if he is a spendthrift and is not good with money and you are? If you retain control of the finances does that mean that you are not being submissive according to God’s law?
I know you are not supposed to condone drinking and wild parties with your husband as that is not part of God’s plan.

Any suggestions?

 

[lisalisa]

What do you mean? Submission? No such thing. A marriage is 50/50. This isn’t 1800, this is 2006.

 

[mariam1976]

i am sorry… that did not answer my question

 

[Julianna]

how do you practice submission as a wife? i am wondering what is the right way to do it?
Does it mean giving over all the finances to your husband? what if he is a spendthrift and is not good with money and you are? If you retain control of the finances does that mean that you are not being submissive according to God’s law?
I know you are not supposed to condone drinking and wild parties with your husband as that is not part of God’s plan.

Any suggestions?

I handle the finances…I make all the decorating decisions. We buy furniture “together”. He has a room that he chooses the furniture. The main rooms in the house are chosen by me. He does ALL the cooking. He does the carpentry, I paint the walls. I enjoy a glass of wine…he likes beer. We go out with friends for wine, beer and pool, once a week “together”. With major problems such as car fixing, plumbing, or electrical, I let him handle that. He cuts the grass, I garden. I choose the plants, and the landscaping.

I “respect” my husband, and he “respects” me. I don’t ask him for money, I tell him, I’m going to get some. He doesn’t ask me for money, he asks me how much we have and tells me what he plans to do with it. If I disagree, we discuss it. If I want to meet the girls after work for something…I tell him I’m going, he says, “fine, have a great time”. He says he is going to watch the game at Dave’s house this weekend, I say "fine have a good time’. If I want to go to lunch or antiquing with the girls on Saturday…he says, “have a good time”. Sometimes we go together. I work with men…and sometimes we will have lunch together at Mickey D’s or Pizza Hut, my husband says, “have a good time”. He has lunch with his female co workers…doesn’t bother me.

I believe that if a woman has to “ask” permission of her husband for money, to go out with girls, or HE decides the living room will have a rust and olive green sofa with a quail and grist mill design…she needs to go home to her father, she will get the same treatment.

We’ve come a long way baby.

 

[mariam1976]

thats a clear enough answer… thank you…!!!
i am very confused right now hence the question.

 

[lisalisa]

I believe that if a woman has to “ask” permission of her husband for money, to go out with girls, or HE decides the living room will have a rust and olive green sofa with a quail and grist mill design…she needs to go home to her father, she will get the same treatment.

We’ve come a long way baby.

I Totally agree! That’s why I said this is 2006!

 

[seeker_b]

I wonder if you are referring to some fundamentals who believe that a wife should be submissive. Some of this comes out of promise keepers who believe the man is the boss in the family. I think they are dead wrong. Marriage is a partnership.

 

[howarya]

Just because it’s 2006 doesn’t mean that the Word of God is nullified regarding submission to husbands.

“We’ve come a long way baby” sounds pretty arrogant and unholy, if you ask me.

I’m not saying women are any less important, but remember that God created men to have authority in the family. Men and women each have specific roles to fill if they want to live according to God’s truth, not just the latest cultural (worldly) trends.

The key is husbands are responsible to love their wives, and wives are responsible to submit to their husbands - unless it would cause them to commit sin.

 

[Julianna]

Just because it’s 2006 doesn’t mean that the Word of God is nullified regarding submission to husbands.

“We’ve come a long way baby” sounds pretty arrogant and unholy, if you ask me.

I’m not saying women are any less important, but remember that God created men to have authority in the family. Men and women each have specific roles to fill if they want to live according to God’s truth, not just the latest cultural (worldly) trends.

The key is husbands are responsible to love their wives, and wives are responsible to submit to their husbands - unless it would cause them to commit sin.

so I’m not supposed to “love” my husband? Am I incapable of such? My husband is not my “thought police”.

I would ask you, please give some examples of what the wife should “submit” to? I am curious.

I’ll start.

1. Susan tells Don that her friends Kara, Anne, Besty, and Claire have invited her to a dinner and movie. Should she ask Don’s permission and then ask for the “money” to go? Now, Don has no plans, dinner at 5, Cronkite at 6 and to bed at 10. Should he be the deciding factor if she should go. I’ll throw in 2 kids, one is 3 and the other is 6 just to make interesting.
2. Susan and Don just bought a house. 3 bedroom 2 bath and there is a bonus room/den. Don insists on the large 52" tv screen, his large brown duct taped barcolounger and Chicago Bears beanbag chair to be placed in the living room. Susan suggests that the bonus room/den has plenty of space for him to decorate as he wishes, but he tells her, that she must submit to his wishes because he is the head of the house. Oh and lest we forget, the big deer head over the fireplace.
3. Don stops by to give Susan something at her lunch hour. He finds her in the break room having lunch with 2 male co workers at one table. There are other tables in the room and there are males and females mixed around. Don calls Susan out to a private area and tells her HE FORBIDS her to eat with men at lunch, even though there are others in the room. Should Susan OBEY?

Also, the OBEY has been taken out of the wedding vows for a very long time. I sure didn’t say it in my wedding vows.

Yes, we have come a long way baby.

 

[howarya]

I never said you weren’t supposed to love your husband… all Christians are supposed to love one another.

Husbands are supposed to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5) - and we know that Christ died for the church, therefore if husbands want to obey Christ completely, they need to “die” to their own selfish wants in order to love their wives.

Now, if your husband lived like that, would you have a hard time submitting to him?

Do you think a husband like that would be a selfish, jealous tyrant who didn’t care about his wife’s wants and needs?

In answer to your 3 questions, here goes:

1. A submissive wife would ask her husband if he had any issues with her going out with her friends. It’s really not a big deal to check with your spouse before just going off and doing whatever you want…
2. A submissive wife wouldn’t usurp authority over her husband, and would humbly submit to her husbands wishes… even though she doesn’t agree with him. But again, a truly loving husband would put his wife’s interests ahead of his own - especially in issues that aren’t spiritually important (like barcaloungers). However, if the husband failed to love his wife in this matter, I believe God’s Word still teaches that the woman must OBEY her husband - despite her lack of agreement.
3. Again, the wife should obey her husband - and then try to reason with him privately.

The question is, do you WANT to obey God’s Word? Or do you just want to be a woman of the world who’s come a “long way baby”?

Lack of submission to your husband is ultimately a sign & symptom of your lack of submission to the Word of God.

 

[lisalisa]

wives are responsible to submit to their husbands .

Sorry, but that HAD to be an ignorant man to say that.

 

[howarya]

Sorry, but that HAD to be an ignorant man to say that.

So now you’re calling Paul the apostle an “ignorant man”? He’s the one who first said it… and he spoke under the authority of Jesus Christ Himself!

 

[lisalisa]

I never said you weren’t supposed to love your husband… all Christians are supposed to love one another.

Husbands are supposed to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5) - and we know that Christ died for the church, therefore if husbands want to obey Christ completely, they need to “die” to their own selfish wants in order to love their wives.

Now, if your husband lived like that, would you have a hard time submitting to him?

Do you think a husband like that would be a selfish, jealous tyrant who didn’t care about his wife’s wants and needs?

In answer to your 3 questions, here goes:

1. A submissive wife would ask her husband if he had any issues with her going out with her friends. It’s really not a big deal to check with your spouse before just going off and doing whatever you want…
2. A submissive wife wouldn’t usurp authority over her husband, and would humbly submit to her husbands wishes… even though she doesn’t agree with him. But again, a truly loving husband would put his wife’s interests ahead of his own - especially in issues that aren’t spiritually important (like barcaloungers). However, if the husband failed to love his wife in this matter, I believe God’s Word still teaches that the woman must OBEY her husband - despite her lack of agreement.
3. Again, the wife should obey her husband - and then try to reason with him privately.

The question is, do you WANT to obey God’s Word? Or do you just want to be a woman of the world who’s come a “long way baby”?

Lack of submission to your husband is ultimately a sign & symptom of your lack of submission to the Word of God.

Your basically saying a man is in control by saying a woman should obey. Oh good lord, any man like that is a bully and any woman who follows that is weak minded.

 

[howarya]

Your basically saying a man is in control by saying a woman should obey. Oh good lord, any man like that is a bully and any woman who follows that is weak minded.

What are you basing your opinion on? Do you believe God’s Word is irrelevant now in the 21st century? Do you believe God changed the roles of men and women in marriage sometime in the past 2,000 years since Paul taught the church about it?

Should we deny the husbands duty to submit to Christ, too?

How about any authority - should we only submit if we FEEL like submitting?

Gimme a break…

 

[lisalisa]

What are you basing your opinion on? Do you believe God’s Word is irrelevant now in the 21st century? Do you believe God changed the roles of men and women in marriage sometime in the past 2,000 years since Paul taught the church about it?

Should we deny the husbands duty to submit to Christ, too?

How about any authority - should we only submit if we FEEL like submitting?

Gimme a break…

O_RLY?

I don’t believe in submitting to my husband. I believe in equality and communication and working TOGETHER. You want to live by rules set x amount of years ago, be my guest

 

[howarya]

O_RLY?

I don’t believe in submitting to my husband. I believe in equality and communication and working TOGETHER. You want to live by rules set x amount of years ago, be my guest

LisaLisa - it seems obvious from your remarks that you are not a Christian. You need to submit to the authority of Jesus Christ and repent of your sin.

If you are a Christian, then you are living in disobedience to God’s “rules”.

Are you a Christian? Are you a practicing Catholic? Does your priest know about your unsubmissive attitude?

 

[mariam1976]

i am sorry… i didnt want this discussion to turn so heated…

i attended some marriage counselling to help me understand what i did wrong in my marriage and one of the things that has always troubled me is this point of submission… although i was completely submissive about the barcalounger and about telling your husband that you were going out with ur friends and making sure that he was ok with it… i was wondering about when his ways are a sure fire way to bring you to ruin, is that the time also to submit?

he was a spendthrift and had i given my finances into his hands he would have spend it all on materialistic stuff instead of something concrete like a house or something…

 

[lisalisa]

LisaLisa - it seems obvious from your remarks that you are not a Christian. You need to submit to the authority of Jesus Christ and repent of your sin.

If you are a Christian, then you are living in disobedience to God’s “rules”.

Are you a Christian? Are you a practicing Catholic? Does your priest know about your unsubmissive attitude?

I’m sorry but I don’t know anyone who follows your beliefs with being submissive. Actually, I only know one and her relationship is an abusive one. Tell you what, I will print out this thread and show it to my priest. Then I will let you know what he said.

 

[Julianna]

So now you’re calling Paul the apostle an “ignorant man”? He’s the one who first said it… and he spoke under the authority of Jesus Christ Himself!

Paul put his pants on one leg at a time just like everyone else. You have to remember that in Paul’s time, women were not even considered a person, they were a means to propigate the species. They had no rights, to speak, to think, to believe, or even to belong to the human race.

Thank goodness that is OVER.

 

[Julianna]

I never said you weren’t supposed to love your husband… all Christians are supposed to love one another.

Husbands are supposed to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5) - and we know that Christ died for the church, therefore if husbands want to obey Christ completely, they need to “die” to their own selfish wants in order to love their wives.

Now, if your husband lived like that, would you have a hard time submitting to him?

Do you think a husband like that would be a selfish, jealous tyrant who didn’t care about his wife’s wants and needs?

In answer to your 3 questions, here goes:

1. A submissive wife would ask her husband if he had any issues with her going out with her friends. It’s really not a big deal to check with your spouse before just going off and doing whatever you want…
2. A submissive wife wouldn’t usurp authority over her husband, and would humbly submit to her husbands wishes… even though she doesn’t agree with him. But again, a truly loving husband would put his wife’s interests ahead of his own - especially in issues that aren’t spiritually important (like barcaloungers). However, if the husband failed to love his wife in this matter, I believe God’s Word still teaches that the woman must OBEY her husband - despite her lack of agreement.
3. Again, the wife should obey her husband - and then try to reason with him privately.

The question is, do you WANT to obey God’s Word? Or do you just want to be a woman of the world who’s come a “long way baby”?

Lack of submission to your husband is ultimately a sign & symptom of your lack of submission to the Word of God.

1. She asked, and he said no. Should she just go to her room and cry. If he was going out and “she” said no, does that mean he can go if he wants?
2. The deer head would be hanging on the wall the next day.
3. Just because I having lunch with a male coworker doesn’t mean we’re having an affair. What if it were reversed. Since the wife is supposed to be submissive, I guess it would matter what she thought.