Sudden Death of our 13 Year Old Daughter

[jrabs]

Thank you so much Jrabs! God bless you for praying … we need them

I bet you have no idea how many people are praying for you and how many really care. There are untold many of us. You are cared for.

 

[MGEISING]

I bet you have no idea how many people are praying for you and how many really care. There are untold many of us. You are cared for.

It is what sustains us … and it is supernatural grace that we even get up in the morning.

I miss her terribly.

 

[mom4truth]

Dear, dear Moe: I just looked over this thread and saw the posts. I don’t know details of your daughter (don’t need to), but I cannot imagine the pain and hell you are going through. I wish I could take your pain away. I will ask God to allow me carry some of your pain (I know He will). I will be praying for you especially. I’m sure your daughter is SO happy now. No words to even say that can make you feel better. SO, SO, SO sorry.
God loves you and so do I.

Prayers & Love,
mom4truth

 

[MGEISING]

Dear, dear Moe: I just looked over this thread and saw the posts. I don’t know details of your daughter (don’t need to), but I cannot imagine the pain and hell you are going through.

She had a congenital heart defect … healthy, active, atheletic … none of us never knew she had this … healthy for 13 years. She was perfection on earth to be truthful. Gorgeous, happy, High Honors all her life, an accomplished pianist, very athletic … She basically died of a heart attack

I wish I could take your pain away. I will ask God to allow me carry some of your pain (I know He will).

I thank you for your offer, but I don’t wish this pain on anyone Mom4truth … please don’t ask … I couldn’t bear to think of someone – other than ‘club’ members – baring this pain … it is too hard and too much.
I will be praying for you especially.

**Thank you with every beat of my heart … prayers are what is sustaining us **

I’m sure your daughter is SO happy now

**I know – but I still haven’t dreamt of her and that makes me very very sad **

No words to even say that can make you feel better. SO, SO, SO sorry.
God loves you and so do I.

**Thank you my new friend and prayer warrior. Sadness abounds 

Love and God’s Blessing to you and yours,

Moe**

Prayers & Love,
mom4truth

 

[puppylove]

I can attest that Lori is one of the best CAF has. Hugs to both of you - prayers also.

Thanks Jen…you’re the best!!!

Hey Moe: I’m praying and hoping your pain lesson soon. How are Greg and Amanda?

Hugs, Lori

 

[jrabs]

Thanks Jen…you’re the best!!!

Hey Moe: I’m praying and hoping your pain lesson soon. How are Greg and Amanda?

Hugs, Lori

No Lori…I have found you to be one of the nicest and truly compassionate folks here. Moe is fortunate to have you as a prayer warrior.

Have a good day and give your sweet little one a hug.

 

[MGEISING]

Thanks Jen…you’re the best!!!

Hey Moe: I’m praying and hoping your pain lesson soon. How are Greg and Amanda?

Hugs, Lori

**Thanks again my friend … they are doing OK … Amanda had her riding lesson last night and is now at the riding academy volunteering for a few hours this morning. They like her so much they asked if she could come twice a week … and it will be great for her … she told me - Mom, I think of two things 24/7 — KK and horses …

Greg is doing OK … it is hard … very hard especially since we were all so very close … our family chain is broke and we just miss her.

How are you Lori - are things going well?

Thanks for reaching out to us … you will NEVER know how much I appreciate it.

Loving you,

Moe**

 

[mom4truth]

Dear Moe, I don’t know what it takes to be a Club member, but Idon’t think God really minds if I am not. Anyway, I have endured so much suffering in my life (I’m getting used to it) that I know God has already allowed me to help you a little. Don’t worry about me! I’m with you on this journey!

mom4truth

 

[MGEISING]

Dear Moe, I don’t know what it takes to be a Club member, but Idon’t think God really minds if I am not. Anyway, I have endured so much suffering in my life (I’m getting used to it) that I know God has already allowed me to help you a little. Don’t worry about me! I’m with you on this journey!

mom4truth

Are you an Angel? no - you must be a Saint … to be a member - you would have to have lost a child … perhaps you have?

Thank you mom4truth. Does God speak to you? You are so blessed if he does.

Thank you for the prayers and helping me through this very lonely journey. I am sorry for the pain in your life … truly sorry …

Love Moe

 

[Lorik]

Hi Moe. Well, we went to the Dr. and it seems that things look good. He said that he needs to take antibiotics every time he goes to the dentist and he doesn’t expect things to change much within the next year. It’s a congenital thing that’s always been there so carry on with activities as normal. There is a chance that once he hits puberty and is growing more there might be some changes but they’ll watch him. We don’t have to go back for a year and just call them when we need antibiotics. They also said that his chest pains have nothing to do with his heart, go figure. The pains are just a coincidence (if there is such a thing). I don’t understand what the pains are all about but they said not to worry about it. Easier said than done!
I’m sure today was hard for you. I’m praying that every day the pain eases some. In a way I’m sure it would be hard to want to the pain ease. I’m also praying that you will have the dream you’ve been wanting. More than anything, peace. Peace for all in your family.

 

[MGEISING]

Hi Moe.

Hi Lori:

Well, we went to the Dr. and it seems that things look good.

Thanks Be To God … Amen!

He said that he needs to take antibiotics every time he goes to the dentist and he doesn’t expect things to change much within the next year.

Why is that? I had heard something like this before … but I can’t remember why.

It’s a congenital thing that’s always been there so carry on with activities as normal. There is a chance that once he hits puberty and is growing more there might be some changes but they’ll watch him. We don’t have to go back for a year and just call them when we need antibiotics.

Oh wonderful Lori … you all must be relieved … God is good …

They also said that his chest pains have nothing to do with his heart, go figure. The pains are just a coincidence (if there is such a thing). I don’t understand what the pains are all about but they said not to worry about it. Easier said than done!

Yes, the cardiologists we took Mandy too also said the same things – chest pains in children are generally muscle pains … especially if they play sports. But I too had my eye brows up! Of course I don’t have a medical degree …

I’m sure today was hard for you. I’m praying that every day the pain eases some. In a way I’m sure it would be hard to want to the pain ease.

There is so much truth to that Lori … the pain in some strange ways connects me to her … and my deep pain also shows just how much I love her … and miss her … as any parent would their child.

I’m also praying that you will have the dream you’ve been wanting. More than anything, peace. Peace for all in your family.

**Thank you so much, as I shall keep you in my prayers as well. And your son … I desperately want to dream about her …. Nothing yet though … so keep storming heaven for me … and ask you guardian angel for me too – OK?

Love Moe**

 

[masondoggy]

Prayers going out for you today, Moe.

Don’t forget to offer up your sadness today for souls. You can accomplish so much through this horrible ordeal!

Hang in there, sweetie.

 

[MGEISING]

Prayers going out for you today, Moe.

Don’t forget to offer up your sadness today for souls. You can accomplish so much through this horrible ordeal!

Hang in there, sweetie.

**Hi Masondoggy:

Thank you so much – and yes I offer the pain up a number of times a day — i think there are a lot of souls being freed because of this nightmare!!!

Love Moe**

 

[masondoggy]

Hi Masondoggy:

Thank you so much – and yes I offer the pain up a number of times a day — i think there are a lot of souls being freed because of this nightmare!!!

Love Moe

Yes, and they are definitely praying for you in return.

 

[Lucania]

Moe,
I have been reading and reading this thread for some time now and for some reason I haven’t been able to respond to you. I wonder, what can I possibly say to you? Your grief and pain is so great that I cannot imagine what it is like to be in your shoes. I guess all I can do is to tell you that I have been praying for you & your dear daughter and your family every day. I don’t know what else to say other than you are loved here and I, along with so many others will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you peace.
Lucania

 

[FLCathMom]

I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I cannot imagine your pain. I also will pray that God gives you the dream you want.

 

[MGEISING]

Moe,
I have been reading and reading this thread for some time now and for some reason I haven’t been able to respond to you. I wonder, what can I possibly say to you? Your grief and pain is so great that I cannot imagine what it is like to be in your shoes. I guess all I can do is to tell you that I have been praying for you & your dear daughter and your family every day.

**Thank you so much Lucania … the pain is so great … and people praying is the only thing that has helped us even think about getting out of bed in the morning … that and our daughter Amanda -who is our joy!

**

I don’t know what else to say other than you are loved here and I, along with so many others will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you - peace - I don’t remember what that feels like. Pain 24/7 is the only thing that we feel … I still find it hard to believe that she is gone … no longer physically present with us. My (our) hearts are broken … how do we even begin to think we can continue on without her

I wish you peace.

****Thank you — please continue to pray … I still have not dreamt of her … and it will be 20 weeks Monday - 20 weeks since i heard her voice, touched her, prayed with her … God this is a living nightmare … and the pain is as great as it was the first night … May God be with us.

Love MOe****
Lucania

 

[MGEISING]

I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I cannot imagine your pain. I also will pray that God gives you the dream you want.

**Thank you so much FLCathMom … I miss her so badly … pain is constant … but I do try and offer it up during the day … but sadness just comes in waves, like right now … I just miss everything about her … and it isn’t fair We not only wanted kids … we loved them like nothing else. We had heaven on Earth at ShearBliss Farm … now it is Hell on Earth

Please pray for me **

 

[Nordar]

Hi Moe,
How are you? I’m still here with you, you are still always in my prayers I pray for you all everyday at Mass. And now I will ask you a favor OK!

Would you keep my son Ryan in your prayers, he is Bi Polar and right now is having a really rough time. The meds he is on have stopped working (that happens some times), so he has to have them reajusted. We just got back from the hospital because he thought he was going to have to admit himself in the Pysch Ward. Only because his anger has gotten out of control in the past week, but because his depression is not debilitating and he is not suicidal (which he has been) they are going to try and reajust his meds from home. So please pray that will work.

 

[Conciliar]

Moe, sorry for being so long winded here, hope this is of some help…

Our 16 month old got away from my mother and fell in the fish pond. Despite on scene CPR, prompt response from the fire department and medics, and heroic efforts by the ER; our beautiful gift from God returned to Him.

Our surviving son was in 1st grade. My husband was 2 hours away when he was told there was an accident and it didn’t look good. He arrived at the ER after the pronouncement. Our 1st grader and my mother arrived also. Imagine any emotion (other than happiness and joy) and it was there. I can truly say God’s Grace was with me in this difficult time because only He could have given me the words to say to comfort everyone else.

Like you, the first week was filled with funeral arrangements and people coming and going. But at night, there was no diversion. My arms ached so bad. It took a bit for me to realize Advil and heating pads wouldn’t help; my arms were aching to hold our son. Just when all those who visited moved on with their lives, the reality of what happened started to sink in…What do I do with his things? What about the presents I bought? What do I do with the engraved Christmas cards I ordered that have his name on them? How am I going to help my husband and son - and mother - with this? How will there ever be joy in this house again? How am I going to survive without my son!!! From somewhere came the vision of Our Blessed Mother at the foot of the cross and I prayed for that kind of strength. I also knew that others were praying for us.

Some people think it helps you ‘get over it’ if you don’t talk about your child and move on, as if nothing happened. Those people are wrong. If you try to keep all this inside of you, you will explode - at yourself, your family, someone, but it’s got to come out. We moms tried to hold up the world. In this situation, we have to let others hold us up.

Our son’s school had a support program called Rainbows, which helped him a lot. He had some individual counseling and we had some joint family sessions with the therapist. I think it was more difficult for him because he was at the age where children begin to realize death is permanent. I also knew other parents whose children had died. The circumstances were different and the children older, but they were there when I needed to talk or just to cry. Over the years, I have also been blessed with some very special priests and religious sisters who would always listen.

Our beautiful son died almost 9 1/2 years ago. Occasionally things happen that trigger the pain (like the birth of our daughter 2 years later, his birthday, mother’s day), but it’s not as severe as it once was. When he died, I felt someone had reached in my chest, ripped my heart out and threw it on the ground, stomped on it, then put it back in my chest and said ‘deal with it’. My once mutilated heart has healed with scars. They open on occasion, but the occasions are now infrequent and much more predictable.

Even though your beautiful daughter has gone home, she is still your daughter. Yes, you will always miss her. Yes, there are probably times you will call her name for dinner or find some piece of clothing and start to ask her to put it in her room. It’s okay. She was with you in person for 13 years…and will be in your heart forever.

We represent every parent’s worst nighmare. But we also represent someone who has been blessed with the gift of motherhood, with love and strength, with the ability to accept that which we cannot change and the ability to face life’s challenges and survive. Our Lord will help us carry this cross, even when we are hurting too much to ask. :angel1:

Praying for your peace,
Joan

God brings about good in all things for those who love Him…

The grace of God is so tangible in your witness of faith that it’s as though I can reach out and touch it. May He continue to strengthen you and your loved ones that others may be so blessed. Thank you for sharing your story.