M
Mintaka
Guest
Jesus wept for Lazarus – and He was going to bring him back right away!
So you can mourn, too.
So you can mourn, too.
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M
MGEISING
Guest
I know … I just wished that he could bring KK back to us. I know that she is so happy right now and doesn’t want to come back … we miss her; we love her … and we aren’t right without her.
I am getting more and more angry … and I feel that God has abandoned us …please keep us in your prayers …
R
RWMorris
Guest
Moe,
The anger you are feeling is part of the grieving process. I know those are just words to you, but anger is normal. Please allow yourself to feel the emotions inherent in grieving a lost child. I can’t imagine how abandoned you feel…you must feel like God has forgotten you. But He hasn’t. I and many of us on CAF are continually praying for you. Don’t feel lost or forgotten, you are loved.
Lissa
The anger you are feeling is part of the grieving process. I know those are just words to you, but anger is normal. Please allow yourself to feel the emotions inherent in grieving a lost child. I can’t imagine how abandoned you feel…you must feel like God has forgotten you. But He hasn’t. I and many of us on CAF are continually praying for you. Don’t feel lost or forgotten, you are loved.
Lissa
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MGEISING
Guest
Thanks Lissa — please, I beseach you, to continue to pray for our family … our lives are forever changed.
Love Moe
A
Arlene
Guest
Moe,
I’ve been following this thread, and have been praying for you. My daughter went to science camp this year, and I was trying to imagine getting the phone call that you got.
My loss is different, our son died right after birth. My sadness is that we have virtually no momentos of his life. We have a set of smudged footprints, and 2 horrible poloroid pictures the hospital took.
People said “at least you didn’t have time to get attached”
Yeah, right…
What I wouldn’t have given to have had some time with him.
One of the best sentences I read after Anthony died was that your life will never go back to normal, but slowly you begin to create a new normal. I know it’s hard to imagine right now. I know that you don’t even want to think about life without McKayla. But slowly, over the months and years you will find joy in life again.
Anthony made me a better person. He became my incentive for staying away from sin. I cannot do anything that will jeopardize my seeing him again. During that time, if I didn’t have my faith I wouldn’t have anything. I clung to my faith, and I melted into the arms of our Lord and let Him carry me. Even our Lord Himself felt abandoned by his Father and cried out to Him in anguish. God hears our cries, he hears our anguish, he understands our pain and our rage. He feels the breaking of our hearts. And Mary knows what it is to hold the body of her child. Gain strength from her.
It has been 15 years. I can promise you that time will make the wound not quite so raw. The pain becomes not so intense, not so all consuming.
I will continue to pray for you.
Arlene
Anthony’s mom
I’ve been following this thread, and have been praying for you. My daughter went to science camp this year, and I was trying to imagine getting the phone call that you got.
My loss is different, our son died right after birth. My sadness is that we have virtually no momentos of his life. We have a set of smudged footprints, and 2 horrible poloroid pictures the hospital took.
People said “at least you didn’t have time to get attached”
Yeah, right…
What I wouldn’t have given to have had some time with him.
One of the best sentences I read after Anthony died was that your life will never go back to normal, but slowly you begin to create a new normal. I know it’s hard to imagine right now. I know that you don’t even want to think about life without McKayla. But slowly, over the months and years you will find joy in life again.
Anthony made me a better person. He became my incentive for staying away from sin. I cannot do anything that will jeopardize my seeing him again. During that time, if I didn’t have my faith I wouldn’t have anything. I clung to my faith, and I melted into the arms of our Lord and let Him carry me. Even our Lord Himself felt abandoned by his Father and cried out to Him in anguish. God hears our cries, he hears our anguish, he understands our pain and our rage. He feels the breaking of our hearts. And Mary knows what it is to hold the body of her child. Gain strength from her.
It has been 15 years. I can promise you that time will make the wound not quite so raw. The pain becomes not so intense, not so all consuming.
I will continue to pray for you.
Arlene
Anthony’s mom
M
MGEISING
Guest
M
MGEISING
Guest
Please, if you come upon this site … help us … either with messages, prayers, anything …
R
RWMorris
Guest
Dear Moe,
I am remembering your family in prayer. There are a lot of us who are praying for you. We are holding you up to the Lord. Don’t feel alone or lost. We are with you in spirit. “When one part of the body suffers, all suffer together.” Keep posting.
I know the loss of your darling daughter is unimaginably painful. Keep talking about it, to us and to others.
I’m not sure how helpful books can be at this point. I know you’ve received a lot of tips about books. Is that working at all? It seems to me that it wouldn’t help me very much.
Are you attending Mass? I know that will help. How about working? Is that helping you at all?
Love,
Lissa
I am remembering your family in prayer. There are a lot of us who are praying for you. We are holding you up to the Lord. Don’t feel alone or lost. We are with you in spirit. “When one part of the body suffers, all suffer together.” Keep posting.
I know the loss of your darling daughter is unimaginably painful. Keep talking about it, to us and to others.
I’m not sure how helpful books can be at this point. I know you’ve received a lot of tips about books. Is that working at all? It seems to me that it wouldn’t help me very much.
Are you attending Mass? I know that will help. How about working? Is that helping you at all?
Love,
Lissa
M
MGEISING
Guest
S
servingHim
Guest
You are in my daily prayers, also. I have not stopped praying for you since I read your first post. Hang in there - GOD IS STILL WITH YOU!:hug1:
R
RWMorris
Guest
Dear Moe,
Keep posting. It all helps. Someday you’ll be able to live and laugh again. One of my best friends lost her 17-year-old daughter in a hit-and-run…they never found who did it…she kept holding on to God and although the pain never really disappears entirely, she’s able to live and even laugh again. The pain does diminish, according to her. You will always remember, and you want to remember, but someday you’ll remember the good things; “Remember how McKayla loved this…?” for example. The first year is the hardest, according to my friend.
I have several friends who have lost children and through faith in God, they have been able to go on. Go through the natural grieving process (and it IS a process God designed for us) and you’ll make it to the other side.
I pray for you every single day. I prayed today for you. Hold fast to Jesus, He has not abandoned you. And hold to Mary, who also lost a child. She will understand like no one else.
Love and prayers,
Lissa
Keep posting. It all helps. Someday you’ll be able to live and laugh again. One of my best friends lost her 17-year-old daughter in a hit-and-run…they never found who did it…she kept holding on to God and although the pain never really disappears entirely, she’s able to live and even laugh again. The pain does diminish, according to her. You will always remember, and you want to remember, but someday you’ll remember the good things; “Remember how McKayla loved this…?” for example. The first year is the hardest, according to my friend.
I have several friends who have lost children and through faith in God, they have been able to go on. Go through the natural grieving process (and it IS a process God designed for us) and you’ll make it to the other side.
I pray for you every single day. I prayed today for you. Hold fast to Jesus, He has not abandoned you. And hold to Mary, who also lost a child. She will understand like no one else.
Love and prayers,
Lissa
M
MGEISING
Guest
Thanks again, Lissa, prayers are desperately needed … it is just so sad around our home, around our hearts, around our lives.
Love Moe
J
JLSacred
Guest
It must be awful. Maybe you guys can do something different, something special, with your other daughter? Would it be too sad? You need to establish some new traditions and memories as a family unit, without McKayla. How is your other daughter doing? Would she be ready for that? Maybe start planning a weekend trip somewhere. Your daughter can bring a close friend so she won’t be lonely. How is she doing? She must be awfully lonely.
M
MGEISING
Guest
**She is missing her terribly. We have been doing somethings with her … my mother inlaw has been taking her shopping and to lunch …It must be awful. Maybe you guys can do something different, something special, with your other daughter? Would it be too sad? You need to establish some new traditions and memories as a family unit, without McKayla.
How is your other daughter doing? Would she be ready for that? Maybe start planning a weekend trip somewhere. Your daughter can bring a close friend so she won’t be lonely. How is she doing? She must be awfully lonely.
We know that we need to live in our new reality … I am just slow to the gate if you will.**
I am trying!
J
JLSacred
Guest
I don’t think you are slow to the gate at all. It hasn’t been that long. The first year will be pretty painful. I think, though, that you can gradually build your new life, one brick at a time, and eventually you’ll have years of happy new memories to look back on.
You’ll have to fake it sometimes, for the sake of your other daughter. Since she’s young, she’ll probably bounce back sooner than you. What’s her name?
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MGEISING
Guest
Her name is Amanda … but she likes to be called Mandy.
She is doing well, although she misses McKayla terribly. She and her were best friends. Here is poem she made:
My Sissy
Her face lit up
Like the 4th of July
A sweet smile
From ear to ear
She brought a ray of sunshine
Wherever she went
Her beautiful face
Happy and kind
Her Best Friend,
Me
And mine,
Her
I went here,
She went with me
She went there,
I went with her
I love her,
She loves me
I’m her Sissy,
And she is mine
I love K.K.!
-Amanda Geisinger
J
JLSacred
Guest
That’s beautiful :crying: It must be hard to lose your best friend and suddenly be an only child.
It sounds like she’s doing well in dealing with this. She will probably be a stronger, more sympathetic person from all this. What doesn’t kill us does make us stronger, often.
M
MGEISING
Guest
What doesn’t kill us does make us stronger, often.
I wish I felt strength … I wished to God I felt him … I wish I could feel her or dream of her … or something …
I wish I felt strength … I wished to God I felt him … I wish I could feel her or dream of her … or something …
J
JLSacred
Guest
Give yourself time. Don’t let this destroy you. Remember the movie with Mary Tyler Moore, where she loses one of her sons, and how it destroyed her family? That was a sad movie. I’m not saying that you are like the character in the movie, but I’m saying to be watchful. A death like this is such a terrible upheaval for a family.
Are you getting any outside help?
M
MGEISING
Guest
I am speaking with a number of woman who have lost their children … I want to keep my pulse on my emotions … but what I get from them … I am grieving … in a healthy way …
It hasn’t even been six weeks yet … plus — we haven’t heard from the Medical Examiner yet - may be another 3 weeks; and we haven’t buried her yet … so we have a very long, sad road ahead of us …
I am a mom who is grieving one of the greatest gifts our Lord gave us … He took her from me … and I must try and understand … that is what I dont’ understand …
Love Moe
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