scared:
Can anyone tell me what this may mean? … saying the Apostle’s creed and suddenly not into the first line I stopped, I was filled with I guess, anger, or hate I am note sure which one.
Who can know your heart?
But it is possible that because of you transferring your belief, you have allowed the enemy a foothold into your soul, and he is letting you know that he can’t stand what you are doing, and tormenting you for it: to get you to stop. After all, isn’t it hypocritical to do something you don’t believe? If you listen to it, you are making an implicit choice to be part of his reign. So you must fight it by desiring deliverance somehow, and to make progress in faith.
Mark 9:23 And immediately the father of the boy crying out, with tears said:
I do believe, Lord: help my unbelief.
The fact is, you should give your will to God by reason of the fact that He created your will and deserves that you should use it to please Him and His purpose for making you. You do this by deciding to accept whatever happens in your life as being allowed by Him for you to be proven faithful and worthy of Himself.
Judith 8:27 But esteeming these very punishments to be less than our sins deserve,
let us believe that these scourges of the Lord, with which like servants we are chastised, have happened for our amendment, and not for our destruction.
Luke 8:15 But that on the good ground, are they who in a good and perfect heart, hearing the word, keep it, and
bring forth fruit in patience.
Don’t forget - there is no rule that says you are not allowed to ask for help. In fact, we are expected to be persistent in asking.
Matthew 7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you: seek, and you shall find: knock, and it shall be opened to you.
scared:
Does this mean it is over, that catholism is dead to me?
I don’t know what to do.
I am truely
scared
It means a battle is raging, and you must fight, using the freedom of your will to make choices as to whom you will serve.
Remember, faith is more certain the world around you. Why? Because the world around you changes, and is uncertain over time. How long will your car last? Where are the clothes you wore 20 years ago? What if someone robs you of your money? Etc. But that which is invisible remains, including your fear, doubt, and uncertainty. And it will stay until you do something about it interiorly. That something has to do with your will. Will you ask, and ask again, and persevere in asking?
Notice that no matter how bad things seem to get, you are still free to make an act of free will. Even though you can’t control your situation, you can control your response. And that is the key. Your disposition means more than your actual situation. Afterall, supposing God suddenly appearing offering you abundance of grace? Are your hands outstretched ready to receive, or are they tucked away in disbelief?
If you believe, you will recieve.
But if you doubt, you’ll have to do without.
So I would encourage you to look into yourself, get to know your disposition of heart, and try to make acts of faith, acts of hope, and to repeat them perseveringly even as often as you see yourself slip back down. As it is said, it is not how many times you fall, but how many times you decide to get back up that will determine whether you failed in life or not.
Consider that God encourages you in that on the Way of the Cross, He also fell several times. Implore Him to grant you some grace from His perseverance in getting back up again. You’ll need it for the times ahead. Prove your desire for this grace by making an outward act of patience as a token.
hurst