Yeah, the cathedral has coffee and rolls after every early mass…8AM and 10AM. She’s never gone since I met her (that I know, anyway). I usually don’t go…but I would love a reason to.
The idea of group activities as a first step is a good one, but would be more easily achieved if one or other of them has an existing circle in which to partake. I would be inclined to seek out “light” activities where, at this early state, the 2 people can be at ease and not be asked to expose to much of their “personal” serves. But ultimately, the OP should be best placed to choose what suits the 2 people best.
You contradict yourself a little. In reality, you’re open to marriage in the long run, on certain conditions etc., so it’s not just an exercise to you. Also, you regard that young woman highly, another one against ‘just an exercise’. Aren’t you afraid of committing or admitting that you’re inclined to commit?
I’d say I’m much more inclined than afraid, personally. I guess I just consider it an ‘exercise’ since most don’t marry the first person they’ve dated. I absolutely balk at the idea of using her. How so? It’s a learning experience. I’m not asking her out because I want to learn about myself…I want to learn about her. Is that “using” her? I’m confused…
My husband was so nervous about messing it up that he hardly spoke ten sentences the first date he asked me on and that date was more or less a group he got together specifically so he could invite me out! I thought his being quiet was a lack of interest, but he was very interested and simply very scared to make a mistake.
I did…see my prior post.
Congratulations! Good man! See, you can do it.A little update. I saw her after mass again, except this time, I went up to her, paid her a sincere compliment, and asked if she’d join me after Mass in the church basement for coffee and rolls. She said yes! (To my delight) We sat at a table by ourselves and talked for a good 30-40 minutes. Found out where she worked, what other stuff she does. I thought it went very well. And when we left, I asked if I’d see her at the same Mass next Sunday…and she smiled and said yes. I like where this is going.
Nice work! See coffee always does the trick!A little update. I saw her after mass again, except this time, I went up to her, paid her a sincere compliment, and asked if she’d join me after Mass in the church basement for coffee and rolls. She said yes! (To my delight) We sat at a table by ourselves and talked for a good 30-40 minutes. Found out where she worked, what other stuff she does. I thought it went very well. And when we left, I asked if I’d see her at the same Mass next Sunday…and she smiled and said yes. I like where this is going.
Yup, saw it after I posted. Still good advice
.Cool! It was really nice of her to give you that time. She sounds sweet.A little update. I saw her after mass again, except this time, I went up to her, paid her a sincere compliment, and asked if she’d join me after Mass in the church basement for coffee and rolls. She said yes! (To my delight) We sat at a table by ourselves and talked for a good 30-40 minutes. Found out where she worked, what other stuff she does. I thought it went very well. And when we left, I asked if I’d see her at the same Mass next Sunday…and she smiled and said yes. I like where this is going.
No, it’s not using her if you learn about her for some purpose that might as well be good to her or become her own or in any case doesn’t harm her.
Yeah, I was thinking that after this Sunday’s mass, asking her if she wants to get a coffee somewhere else outside of the church and maybe go for a nice walk, if weather permits. Otherwise, suggestions are appreciated. I mean later in the week, like Wednesday or so, not right after mass.Yup, saw it after I posted. Still good advice
Got a next move planned for a date that doesn’t include Mass? You don’t want her to think you’re just a friendly person from the parish she chatted with for a bit. You want her to be aware that your interest is dating her.
Did you get any idea of her hobbies and interests while you were chatting with her? Any chance of finding a local event to attend that would be up her alley? Check social websites and the local paper entertainment section. Ours posts local events every week near the weekend so that people can make plans to attend.
Her response was the best possible reaction I could have asked for. It’s hard to put into words, but she’s just…elegant. Personality-wise, how she dresses, her speech patterns, etc. She’s a gem.